Deceptions fall, p.18
Deception's Fall, page 18
part #6 of Call of the Elements Series
I glared at her, knowing she was playing word games with me. Reverse psychology was evil.
“Fine, I’m going to put on my armor first. I’ve already been caught without it too many times.” I huffed and started up the stairs.
“Suit yourself, but he knows where he left you. It’ll be the first place he begins his hunt.” She disappeared with a puff of smoke, and I cursed under my breath. His hunt.
The front doors eased open, and I ran up the steps, my bare feet slapping on the stone. Shit. Could I take a chance it wasn’t Mal coming through the front door? Did I even care if he found me first? The elemental didn’t say there was a prize for the winner.
Shit. I did care. Just because I was the baby in the family didn’t mean I wanted to be treated like one. Everyone knew I was really good at blowing shit up and being the conduit for the elementals, but the rest of my skills were half-ass.
I needed to prove I was more than what they saw. More than the weak little girl who needed to be coddled after every single fight.
I reached the second-floor hallway and stole a glance down the stairs. Empty, but for how long? I raced towards my room, popping the door open but not going in. I ran to the next open door and slid inside, then pushed it almost all the way closed. I needed to see if it was Mal or one of the others. Then I’d decide what to do.
He didn’t make me wait long. I never heard Mal’s footsteps on the stairs nor did they echo down the hall. But I watched him silently open my bedroom door and slither inside. Damn. He’d find me in like two seconds.
Or…or I could ambush him in my room. Yep. That was so happening, but not as a human. I mimicked my field mouse—not that I’d attack him as a field mouse—and snuck out of my hiding place. My tiny body hugged the wall as I raced back to my room. I slipped through the door to find Mal looking through my clothes in the wardrobe. What the hell? Did he really think I’d fit in the closet? It was barely big enough for my clothes. Or was he being nosy? His fingers trailed the sleeve of one of my silk shirts, and I decided I’d had enough.
I changed to my mountain lion and pounced on his back, knocking him into the wardrobe. I forced myself not to extend my claws and rip him to shreds for touching my things. But rather than continue my attack, I backed into a shadowy corner, hoping I’d blend in enough for him not to see me. I really wanted to unnerve him, just a little.
Within seconds, Mal untangled himself from my high-dollar apparel and spun around. The wild look on his face made me smile. Mission accomplished. His eyes scanned the room, then landed on my large cat hunkered down in the corner ready to pounce on him. Maybe half a mission.
“AJ?” he asked tentatively, his scratchy voice rattling from his throat.
I snarled, baring my teeth at him. My claws scraped against the stone floor, and he pulled one of the long daggers from the sheath on his thigh. The blade pulsed with runes, and I immediately wanted one.
“AJ, if that’s you, tell me, or I’ll assume a wild animal is in your room.”
I stretched out my front paws and pushed my ass into the air for a good, long stretch, then sauntered back over to the door and kicked it closed with my back paw. Mal grinned, showing his short fangs.
“I like the cat,” he whispered. “Does this mean we’re fighting?”
A low growl rumbled from my throat, and he sheathed his blade. I’m not gonna lie. A wave of relief washed over me. I didn’t want to fight when he had a sharp, pointy knife.
I leapt towards him as soon as his fingers left the hilt of his weapon. He stepped to the side and planted a well-placed fist in that tender spot between my shoulder blades. Mal was so swift and smooth that I may as well have been the one standing still.
I hissed and spun around, crouching low to the floor. Not because I wanted to, but from the needle-like pain racing down my spine.
“It’s nice to know your pressure points are still the same.” He hadn’t moved except the one step he’d taken to avoid me.
I snarled and let the hair on my back raise with my threat. Mal accepted the challenge, but I wasn’t ready. In my defense, I don’t think it was possible for me to be ready. One second, he was standing several feet away. The next second, he was on my back, choking me out.
All kinds of thoughts ran through my oxygen-starved brain. First on the list, was he a fricking vampire? I didn’t know anything else that could move as fast as this man just had.
None of that mattered if I couldn’t get away. I exchanged my cat for my favorite snake: a ten-foot-long white cobra. Taking advantage of Mal’s surprise, I wrapped my coils around his waist and legs, then twisted my fanged face to meet his. I flicked my tongue across his scarred cheek, daring him to find a pressure point. He reached up with a free hand and caressed the edge of my neck. It felt erotic in a weird sort of way, and I flared the hood on my neck.
He smiled. The creepy grin that gave me chills. I squeezed him tighter in my coils until he gasped.
“I believe we’re at an impasse,” he croaked. “I don’t want to stab you, but I fear if I try anything else, you’ll bite me or squeeze the breath from my lungs.”
I wouldn’t bite him for fear of the whole emotional thing. It was only supposed to work between fae, but I hadn’t missed the elf’s short fangs. So, yeah. No biting. I let him go, and Mal rolled away, jumping to his feet.
“You are magnificent,” he said, letting his hands fall to his sides.
I released my magic, going back to my barely five foot, not quite one-hundred-pound human body. “Until you take away my magic,” I muttered. “Then I’m nothing but a helpless little girl.”
I hated how pathetic I sounded, but it was true. If Sabina’s warriors took me back to that cell, I was done. I didn’t even have my vampire gifts anymore. Gifts I should’ve used the first time I was taken.
“I understand,” Mal said.
I met his eyes and for just a moment, I saw compassion. It didn’t last long, though.
“We don’t have time to start from the beginning, but I can teach you the basics,” he continued. “If we’re blessed with time to practice, I’ll teach you more.”
“Thanks. You’re the first one who hasn’t laughed at my request or pushed it aside as unnecessary.” I looked down and realized I was twisting my shirt around my fingers. I untangled them and smoothed the fabric.
“Ronquil told me about your abduction and the magic-proof room.” He slowly moved towards my door, wrapping his fingers around the handle. “I didn’t believe they could disconnect the elementals from you until he told me the story.”
I flinched. The image of my torturer flitted through my mind, but I pushed it aside. I’d kicked his ass and threw him out with the garbage. He had no hold over me. Except in my nightmares.
“It sucked beyond belief,” I said. “I don’t want to be helpless like that ever again.”
“Then let’s get started.” Mal opened my door and disappeared into the hall.
I followed him to the stairwell, expecting us to go downstairs. He turned the other direction and went up to the library.
I jogged to keep up. He threaded his way among the tall bookshelves like he’d been here his entire life and knew exactly what he was looking for. When did he have time to familiarize himself with the library?
A small table and two wooden chairs filled a small alcove at the very back. Mal sat in one of the chairs and gave me a pointed look. I dropped into the hard seat and stared at him.
He frowned, then looked back the way we came. The only thing visible was the bookshelf. If I hadn’t known the table was here, I never would’ve seen it.
“The first thing we need to do is protect your mind,” he said in a voice so soft I barely heard him. “I can’t believe Lodron has not already done so.”
“What are you talking about?” I snapped, immediately defensive of the captain. “I already know how to wall off my mind.”
“Maybe, but it’s not instinctive while you’re fighting,” he said, ignoring my attitude. “I could easily anticipate your moves, even as a cat.”
“Oh.” I hadn’t thought of that.
“This wall you create,” he continued. “Is it something you could learn to maintain?”
“It’s pretty easy to hang onto during normal conversations, but I’ve never tried during a fight.” I bit my lip. “I get distracted really easy.”
“I can help you force a permanent barrier,” he offered.
My mouth fell open. Nothing permanent was ever good, at least not in my experience.
“Does it prevent me from speaking with the other fae?” I asked, tapping my temple. If he expected Lodron to teach me this trick, I suspected he knew about our ability to chat telepathically.
“No. It just prevents them from talking to you without permission.”
“Oh.” They were supposed to do that anyway. I was probably the guiltiest offender of that little rule. “So, let’s say one of the fae I haven’t given permission to has an urgent message for me. Will my mental phone start ringing so I know I have a call?”
He scoffed. “No. They’ll need to find someone who can already communicate with you.”
That wasn’t ideal. “I’ll need to think about it,” I said. “I hate missing phone calls, especially important ones.”
Mal rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat. “Let’s try a different angle. These dark fae carry all their normal traits, yes?”
I shrugged. “We’re assuming so.”
“Some fae have very strong minds, like your captain. They’re able to scour someone’s thoughts easily and take whatever knowledge they want.” He crossed his arms over his chest and waited while I thought about his words. “Many elves have the same talent.”
I knew Lodron could do it. He told me he’d done it to his own people after my abduction. Did that mean the fae on the island didn’t have their minds protected? I frowned and searched Mal’s face for answers. He’d make me ask, arrogant prick.
“Why doesn’t everyone have their mind protected?”
He smiled his creepy smile. “It’s extremely painful to create the barrier.”
“Okay, yeah. Not doing that today.” I rose from my seat, but he grabbed my hand. “I’ve endured more than enough pain in the last twenty-four hours, Mal. I’ll think about it.”
He released me, and I left him sitting in the library to find answers of my own.
Chapter 17
A hundred questions ran through my mind as I descended the stairs. Most of them centered around why Lodron hadn’t told me how to protect my mind. Did he think I wasn’t strong enough to endure it? He had to know better than that. He’d seen what I’d been through. Or maybe that was the reason. He didn’t want to dump another bucket of pain on top of what I’d already endured.
I should just ask him. I trusted him way more than Maldrius.
Having made up my mind, I sought out my apartment at Nardan’s palace. I should’ve talked to Göksu first. I fell to my knees at the foot of my bed, whimpering and feeling like someone drained the life out of me.
I hadn’t realized how strong Coral’s barrier was until I tried to cross it while not at a hundred percent. Holy shit. I crawled into bed, not even bothering to get underneath the blankets.
I had no idea how long I slept, but the sun had already set when I finally peeled my eyes open. I rolled off the bed and stumbled into the bathroom. By the time I brushed my teeth and took care of business, I felt pretty good. Rested and ready for dinner.
I also needed to talk to Lodron—the whole reason I’d come back in the first place.
I crossed my living room to the door that connected mine to his and paused. Faint voices drifted through the door. I recognized Lodron’s immediately but not the woman with him. Uncertainty and a tiny bit of jealousy wormed its way beneath my skin. Which was stupid. He didn’t belong to me, and the fae weren’t shy about having more than one partner, even if I was. Again, he wasn’t mine.
Maybe this wasn’t a hook up, though. Maybe it was one of his soldiers. Even though it’d be weird for them to be in his bedroom, which was where my door opened. I assumed the original room arrangement used to be a nursery that they turned into a separate apartment.
I jumped back when something slammed against the door. I almost opened it to make sure he was okay, until I heard her voice.
“I know there’s more you can show me, Captain,” the woman said, all sultry and shit.
I stumbled backwards, and Lodron growled loud enough for me to hear through the door. I slapped my hand over my mouth to stop the pain from coming out in a tirade of curses and tears. He wasn’t mine. I’d rejected him. Told him I wasn’t ready for any kind of relationship. Why the hell would he wait for me?
I pulled a chair from the dining room table and wedged it underneath the doorknob. It jiggled, then someone pounded on the door.
“AJ!” Lodron yelled.
I didn’t answer, and I wasn’t sticking around either. I thought about going to my house in Los Angeles, but Braden had been there a couple days ago. I had no desire to see him. I wasn’t ready for anyone at the tower to see me cry, so I went to Lodron’s apartment in Memphis. He couldn’t get past Coral’s barrier unless she opened it for him, so I should have a few minutes to get my shit together. Reacting to a woman in Lodron’s room was completely unacceptable.
I arrived in the living room of his apartment in Memphis and sank into the leather sofa.
“What is wrong with me?” I muttered. “I refuse to cry over a man who isn’t even mine.”
Alisandra, where are you? Lodron’s voice in my mind reminded me of my conversation with Mal about keeping people out. Not that it would matter with Lodron because I’d already let him in.
I didn’t answer Lodron. The last thing I needed was drama over his new girlfriend or hook up or whatever. Sitting in the man’s apartment wasn’t helping either. He’d made it his personal space, something his home on the island didn’t have.
“Shit.” I pushed myself off the couch and went to the spare bedroom where I’d dumped my bag of extra clothes a couple weeks ago. Braden’s letters to me were still in that bag. Had Lodron seen them? I hoped not. He’d watched me pull them from my secret hiding spot and stuff them in the bag, so he knew they were there.
I cursed again and tossed the small bag on the bed, then unzipped it. Nothing appeared to be moved. I dug to the bottom and found my letters. A memory of the man Braden would never be. I should probably just burn them, but I couldn’t. Not yet.
“Alisandra?” Lodron’s voice scared the shit outta me because he was right behind me. Fricking Coral just had to let him out.
I didn’t turn around to face him, just stuffed the letters back in my bag and zipped it up. “Just picking up my stuff.”
“Why? You can leave it here. No one has been in this space other than you, me, and Elaine. But she can’t get back here.” His hands gripped my shoulders, and I tensed. “Don’t do this, AJ. You promised you would stay close to me.”
“I’m not sure I can keep that promise,” I said. “It looks like I’ll be spending a lot of time training at the Dionadair’s tower.”
I let him turn me around, but I couldn’t let him see my jealousy when I had no right to be jealous. So I dropped my forehead against his chest.
“AJ, I need to make something very clear to you before you leave,” he said. I nodded but didn’t lift my head. He huffed. “The only way I will be with another woman is if you look me in the eye and swear you don’t want me. I’m willing to wait until you’re ready to say yes.”
“And what if I never say yes?” I mumbled into his shirt, knowing exactly how petty it sounded. “What if I drag you along for the next twenty years and never make a decision?”
He took a step back and cupped my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him. “You won’t be able to wait twenty years to find out how good I am in bed.”
I laughed and pulled his hands from my face. “Arrogant much?”
“Only when I’m right.” He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled me between his knees. “The look on your face right now is all the proof I need.” His arms slid around my waist, pulling me closer. Instead of stopping him, I threaded my fingers through his hair. I hated when he was right, but I hated my need for him even more.
“It only proves how selfish I am,” I argued. “That I would expect you to deny yourself any pleasure because I’m stupid. You need to ignore me. I’ll come find you when I get over myself.”
“Yes, dear.”
He pulled me closer until only a few inches separated us. I hated the game I played with his heart. I needed to just push him away, but he wouldn’t let me. When I didn’t close the last few inches between us, he sighed.
“The woman in my room tried really hard to convince me to have sex with her,” he whispered. “I won’t lie and tell you I didn’t consider it, because I did. But all I could think about was you. Don’t make me wait twenty years. If you truly don’t want me, just tell me.”
I opened my mouth to reassure him I wouldn’t make him wait that long, but he pressed a finger against my lips.
“After we defeat Sabina,” he said. “Then you can tell me.”
I frowned, but all the things he didn’t say clenched my heart. The rejection would hurt him. It already hurt. I backed away from him, letting his hands slip away.
“Ronquil needs you back at the tower,” he said, gripping the edge of the mattress. “Something about leaving in the middle of a game of hide and seek.”
I snorted. “Yeah, I should probably apologize to him. I hadn’t planned on leaving, but I got a little irritated with Maldrius.”
“What happened?” he asked, looking way too concerned.
I thought about it for two whole seconds. None of my reasons for wanting to ask Lodron about the mental barrier had changed.
“He told me there was a way to make a permanent barrier around my mind,” I said, watching Lodron’s reaction.
Snarling, Lodron stood and stalked towards the small window in the room. “There is, but it’s very painful, AJ.” He spun around and tapped a finger on his temple. “It’s a mental pain, not physical. It forces some of your most intense experiences, both good and bad, from your subconscious and uses them to shield your mind from everything.” His shoulders sagged, and he shook his head. “But once they’re used to create your shield, those memories never fade. I’ve seen your pain. You need to be able to let it go.”
