Reckless, p.19
Reckless, page 19
"Francine," he growls in warning as his dark, sapphire eyes narrow into slits.
I slowly bring myself up to a sitting position and give him what I hope is a sweet smile. "It's true," I say honestly. "Did you really think I haven't thought about it? It's bound to happen at some point. You almost fucked me last night, after all."
Finn’s spine is ramrod straight. He’s tense, his fists clenching before he stretches his fingers just to do it all over again. I'm making him mad and not in the way he likes.
"Relax," I say. "I'm not horny, so you have nothing to worry about. I just want to keep floating on this cloud," I reassure him before patting the bed next to me. "Come on," I plead.
He stares at me for a moment, a war raging behind his icy blue eyes, before he groans. He strolls to me and lays down on the bed.
I keep my eyes on the beautiful colors spinning across the ceiling, enticing me.
Suddenly, a random question enters my mind and I need to know his answer.
"Finn?"
He hums a response as my heart races, wondering how he'll react to my question.
I take a loud, deep breath, "Have you ever been in love?"
He’s quick to respond. "No, never," he admits.
"Not even close to it?" I press as his hand finds mine and he laces our fingers together, squeezing it.
The sensation of skin on skin is overwhelming and relaxing at the same time.
"I could have... once," he admits out of nowhere.
"You could have?"
"A long time ago," he adds solemnly.
"Who was she?" I ask, my eyes now locked to the ceiling.
"She was a princess in a tower." My heart skips and hammers inside my chest at his words.
A princess in a tower.
It’s me. He's talking about me. I'm the girl he could've fallen in love with a long time ago.
"I'm sure she felt the same way," I say.
He chuckles light-heartedly before turning his head to look at me and I follow suit. "Oh, I have no doubt about that," he says with that cocky smile across his handsome face.
"Narcissist," I quip while rolling my eyes.
He laughs and smiles in a way I have never seen him do. There's no tension, no underlying anger. Just pure joy and it does something to me. It enhances my own.
"You know, those bullies never messed with me again after you scared them off," I mention with a little twinkle in my eye.
His smile widens. "Good. That was my intention."
"They'd see me get off the bus and run the other direction. It was really funny."
He doesn't say anything. I expect something, maybe like they better have, but I get nothing. Silence.
My mind drifts to the days when I would wander back to that tree and wait to see if my dark prince would show up. The only thing I’d find was disappointment. I'd stare at the moon as the sky got dark and think maybe he was looking at it, too. I was desperate to feel closer to him any way possible.
"Why didn't you ever come back?" I ask, my voice soft and quiet with vulnerability. It's a question I used to cry myself to sleep about. Where did my dark prince go? Why didn't my dark prince come back to me?
"Come back where?" he responds, his eyebrows pulling together.
"To me," I whisper.
His head suddenly turns, and his eyes are even brighter, more vivid in color, as he stares into my eyes.
"I was sparing you," he whispers right back as I touch his stubbly jaw, grazing my fingers along the prickly hair.
"Sparing me?" I ask as I bite my lip and turn to him. "How?"
His Adam's apple bobs with nervousness as he reaches and strokes his thumb down my jaw. The sensation of his skin against mine sends a ripple of pleasure spider webbing through my veins.
I bit back the soft moan that tries to escape, but he notices. His eyes darken, desire spanning across his handsome face.
"Tell me, please." I plead with him to give me the answer to the questions that have haunted me for a decade.
I lean into his touch and revel in the contentment it induces.
"I was... I was sparing you from having me in your life," he admits. "I wanted to go back, see if maybe I'd find you there, but I know that slippery slope. I'd see you and want to talk to you. I'd reel you in and never want you to leave. I'd want to keep you," he admits, his voice affected with emotion as he runs his thumb over my lip.
Us meeting only lasted a few minutes, but it affected both of us. He left his mark on me and I left mine on him.
"Is that such a bad thing?" I ask, my heart racing from this newly discovered information.
We're in our own little bubble and I never want it to pop.
"Yes. It would be bad for you. I was supposed to leave you unharmed and never see you again because I'm not a good person and I never will be. It's selfish for me to keep you. You deserve better," he answers with conviction.
My heart sputters with care and determination. Finn's thought process is romantic but also ludicrous.
"Maybe I don't want better. You may have left me behind, thinking I deserved better, but what you don't know is this," I start but then second guess what I'm about to say.
He might think I'm crazy when he hears this, but I have to take this leap, or he might push me away.
I jolt upright, throwing my leg over him so I can straddle his waist. He immediately sits up like he's about to push me off of him, but I cup his face in my hands and stare deep into his eyes.
"You've been with me since that day," I admit.
Instead of pushing me away, he pauses, examines my face then pulls my body closer to his.
"My life has never been pretty. I've felt unwanted, unloved, abused for so long, even before we met. I didn't have any hope in my life until you," I confess.
His eyes narrow with hatred, but it isn't directed at me. His fingers dig into my hips and, instead of pain, pleasure licks up my spine.
"You were a moment of light in a sea of darkness. I cried every night for weeks after you left because I wanted you to come back.
"I know the past week has been hellish, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. There's been stress and pain, but I have you with me and that makes it all worth it. You're worth any pain or disappointment, Finnick O'Reilly."
He grabs the back of my head when I finish and smashes his lips into mine, kissing me like I'm the air he breathes. His mouth on mine is an aphrodisiac and I can't get enough.
Ecstasy.
Euphoria.
Bliss.
Rapture.
All of them fuel my desire as he battles me for domination of the kiss, domination that I hand over freely. I find myself grinding against him, the tension rushing south as I cry into his mouth from need.
This is the most powerful thing I have ever felt.
My world spins, he flips us over and pulls his lips away from me. An objecting whimper leaves me as he pants like he's running a marathon. I see the way his pupils dilate in and out rapidly, and I feel his hard cock press against me.
"No, please, don't stop. Please, kiss me again," I beg and plead for some relief.
I'm losing my damn mind from the feel of his lips on mine.
"We can't. We're both high," he refuses, but I'm not conceding.
I rip one of my arms from his grasp to touch his jaw.
"I'm not high. My mind is clear. I want you, Finn. I want to give myself to you. Waiting for the drugs to leave my system won't change that."
"You're not ready for that, babygirl," he growls.
"Being ready is a myth. No one is ever ready, but I know there's no one else I'd rather give it to. I want to give my virginity to you, Daddy."
His eyes darken with desire as he barely holds onto his control. "That will negate the bet," he growls as a last-ditch response.
"I don't care. I'm not saying this because I'm horny."
"Then why are you?" he hisses out the words as he releases my other hand.
I move my newly freed palm to his face as stare into his eyes.
"Because I don't want to wait. I want to give myself to the man who's always defended me, who I've never been afraid of, who sees me for who I am and more. I. Just. Want. You."
I watch a battle waging on his face as he tries to control himself. I admire his restraint. Most guys wouldn't even try to control themselves when the girl they want is offering themselves up on a silver platter. Finn isn't like most guys. He's putting my needs first, but what he's struggling to grasp is that he's one of my needs.
"Fuck it," he growls before he kisses me hard, conceding to my pleas for him. His hips press into mine as I moan for more, clawing at his back.
My emotions and my desire for him are at an all-time high. Lust grates on every cell in my body as his tongue slides against mine.
His digits dig into my waist, but the pain ignites into flames that lick my flesh and consume me. It's like a flick to my clit every single time he touches me. Every finger, every lick, every kiss devours any self-control I thought I had.
He pulls back with a deep gasp for air as his black eyes look down at me and penetrates past my flesh and bone.
"Shower," he groans before pulling my legs around his body and rushing to his feet.
It's a sudden reminder that I'm on my period and I wonder if that will be an issue. Is he okay with us having sex when I'm already bleeding down there?
"I'm on my period." The words tentatively leave my lips as the thought sinks in.
He walks into the bathroom and deposits me on the sink before claiming the spot between my thighs.
With a lift of his chin, he retorts, his voice gruff, "I'm not afraid to earn my red wings.” He kisses me hard and adds, “beside you’ll need the extra lube with how I’m going to fuck you.”
Crisis averted.
Finn turns on the shower before stripping off his clothes as I watch the exhibition, Finnick O'Reilly bearing his delicious body just for me.
He doesn't wait for me to follow suit. Finn struts over to me, clutches the front of my camisole then rips it down the middle, forcing it down my shoulders, my chest bare for him.
I've heard girls talk about how hot it is when a guy rips their clothes off, but I always thought it’s a weird concept. How is something like that attractive?
But I was wrong.
Finn's display of strength and lust has my pussy clamping at nothing. I'm nearly coming just from that single action.
Maybe it's the drugs.
Maybe it's Finn's action.
I think it's a combination of the two.
He doesn't wait for me to undress myself and yanks down my pants along with my panties, the liner attached to the pink fabric. He pays no mind to it.
Instead, he lifts me into his arms and carries me into the shower with him, the powerful spray hitting me.
A loud, surprised, dramatic gasp leaves my lips as I cling to Finn's hard body.
That feeling you get when you get hit with a bucket of cold water and are not expecting it?
That's what it feels like when the spray hits me. It shocks my system, yet the cold clawing of the freezing water is somewhat arousing.
"Oh, god!" I cry out.
He clutches me to him even tighter, the water soaking us from head to toe. "We're going to clean you up quick," Finn rasps as he moans.
I zero in on his eyes and see his pupils dilating in and out repeatedly as he holds me close.
"Your eyes," I say as he guides me to my feet.
"My pupils, you mean?"
I nod.
"You weren't the only one who smoked that joint," he states as he grabs the soap. He works a lather between his hands then rubs it between my thighs, scrubbing the suds into my skin. A more intense moan slips past my lips as his eyes stare intently at where he's working.
He's cleaning me, caring for me.
This whole thing is beyond erotic. It's intimate.
Finn doesn't just want me. He cares about me and wants to take care of me.
I spread my thighs and allow him to soap me up. His fingers tease my clit, which sends jolts of desire through me before he moves to my opening.
His eyes flicker up to me, asking for permission, and I instantly know what he's asking consent for.
To put his fingers inside me.
I nod as I let out a breathy moan. I should be somewhat self conscious but he makes it seem so natural.
Slowly, a single digit glides inside my slick channel. There's resistance, but it's not my doing. It's not painful, but I can tell he's using more strength to do this than he should need.
"Fuck. You're so tight," he hisses with need as the restraint eases up.
Pleasure builds higher as his thumb teases my clit, adding to the experience of it.
This is the first time anyone has touched me on the inside, except for Finn’s tongue, but that can only go so far. I'm grateful it's Finn I share this experience with.
I did drugs for the first time with Finn.
Finn is the first person to go down on me, to see me naked, to touch my pussy, to take a shower with me.
I hope we keep adding things to that list.
"Ah, Daddy!" I whimper as the tension multiplies and I feel the prickle of bliss run across my skin.
"Yeah, babygirl? Are you going to come for your Daddy?" he presses as he nips his teeth at the dip in my stomach.
"Yes. Please, let me come, Daddy!" I beg as my head falls back against the shower.
"Come for me, Princess. Come on my finger right fucking now."
As if his dirty mouth has a mystic power over my orgasms, I plummet over the edge with a long line of curses shooting from my lips, my hips bucking against his hand.
A fog covers my senses. My pussy is more sensitive than it's ever been, but in such a good way. I can't get enough of the addicting feeling. This orgasm is so different from the ones I had when he ate me out. Will it be even better when his dick is in me?
"Oh my god," I whimper as I pull on his hair, hardly able to control my desires. "Don't stop," I demand.
Finn retracts his hand anyway as I cry and beg for its return.
"Are you on the pill?" he asks past all of my pleads. He's in control more than I thought.
"Not yet," I admit.
"Then I'm not fucking you in here. I need a condom," he grumbles under his breath as he rinses the soap off of me.
He shoves his finger back inside me, and I gasp at the unexpected intrusion. I think for a moment that he's changed his mind and will fuck me right here. He quickly pulls out his finger, which is completely clean of blood.
"Are you sure you're on your period?" he asks, an amused look on his face.
"Yes. Don't underestimate the power of Aunt Flo," I joke.
He stands up, picking me up. He throws my legs around his waist and carries me back to the bedroom, where he kisses me like I'm his world. I don’t think my feet have taken more than five steps on this man’s floor with as much as he likes to lift me.
It's perfect. This is all I need, all I deeply desired for when I lose my virginity. We haven't even hit the bed and I already feel more cherished than I've ever expected.
This is Finn, the boy who looks out for me, has since we first met a decade ago. He's the man who makes me feel things no one else does, and I know he feels the same way. He loses control so easily while we're together. He's normally locked down tight. I'm the only one who seems to break him down, like he's the only person who has stuck with me, even if only in spirit.
Finn left me ten years ago to protect me and something about that feels like the ultimate sacrifice. He put what he deemed my needs were above his own, above what he wanted for himself. He wanted to come back to me. He felt the same connection I did.
He slides me down his body until my feet are on the floor then lays a towel out on the bed. Finn sends me a flirtatious wink, his eyes dancing down the length of me. For once, I'm unashamed and I don't hide. The way he looks at me increases my desire and I can't wait for him to join his body with mine.
"Lay down," he commands.
I don't fight it. I crawl up the bed and lay with my head on the pillow and my butt on the towel. I expect him to join me in bed, but he doesn't initially.
Finn reaches into his bedside table and pulls out a long strap of black leather, lacking any sort of blemish as if he just bought it.
"Do you trust me?" he asks, his dangerous voice thick with tension.
Does he even need to ask?
"Of course, I trust you," I respond without pause.
A wild smile spreads across his lips, approving my faith in him. "Give me your hands, babygirl."
I give them over quickly and Finn wraps the strap around my wrists twice before tying it to the hook in his headboard. There’s a hook in his headboard. There’s a hook in his headboard? My mind has little time to wander and think of why he already has that there when he kisses me rough and possessive, need potent on his tongue.
"That's my girl," he whispers quietly before trailing his lips down the length of my neck. His tongue teases my jugular as his hands massage my hips, pressing his thumbs into the soft lines of my pelvis.
I purr with passion as his lips worship my body, moving down slowly. He avoids my nipples yet teases my breasts, barely missing the areola to taunt me.
"Finnick," I whimper.
He bites the side of my breast roughly which sends a rush of arousal to my clenching pussy. "How'd you find out that's my full name?" he asks, his voice husky with a struggle to concentrate.
"Huh?" I say, surprised by his words.
"I've only told you the name Finn. Where did you hear Finnick?" he presses before kissing my stomach, distracting me from my thoughts.
What is he asking me about? Is it his name?
"Nyla," I say, breathlessly. Never thought I'd say her name when Finn has me naked and exposed.
"Who?"
"Nyla. My friend from the beach, the one who caught us making out," I say, trying to think past how incredible his lips feel on my damp skin.
His tongue dips into my belly button and I almost lose all ability to speak. Almost.
"She's kind of obsessed with your friends. She makes it her business to stalk you all. Just don't tell her I told you that," I demand.
He nods.
