Reckless, p.22
Reckless, page 22
Finn is very overwhelming, but in a good way. I love how protective and jealous he can be. I yearn to feel his strong fingers around my neck when he grabs me and pins me in place. I love how he can make me do whatever he wants with a look, a touch, or a kiss.
It might sound toxic, but I don't care. Finn is who makes me happy.
"So, you gave your virginity to Finn O'Reilly? I don't want to sound like a party pooper or like I don't trust your judgment, but are you sure that was a good idea?" Willow asks, nervousness on her face.
"Seriously! I thought Ryleigh was supposed to be the anti-Bastard nut," Nyla grumbles.
"That's not what I'm saying at all. I have no room to judge since I've been hooking up with a Bastard myself," Willow says with a sly smirk.
I fall into an intense state of shock, and Nyla and I stare at Willow in stunned silence.
"What?" Willow mutters, completely unashamed and confused.
"How long has this been going on and which one?" Nyla explodes as I just stare at Willow.
"Oh, about a month. Remember David Maxwell's party? Me and Tiernan hooked up there and have been fuck buddies ever since. He comes over every night and fucks me blind. The man is a sexual savant, that's for sure," Willow utters and I can almost see the passionate haze clouding around her head.
"When were you going to tell us about this! I thought you were trying to get together with Christian?" Nyla presses with irritation on her face.
"Eww, no. Christian has been trying to get with me, not the other way around. Tiernan hates it, but that's the price he has to pay for his whole no dating rule. People don’t know that I’m off limits. He doesn't have a right to be possessive, when he's all high and mighty about being above dating. If he wants to just fuck me, fine, but don't be a jealous, possessive dick when other guys show interest," Willow explains with aggravation creasing her pretty features.
Wow.
Willow and Tiernan?
That is a pair I never saw coming.
I'm envious of Willow's strength when it comes to putting Tiernan in his place. If he doesn't want to be her boyfriend, and just wants to screw, he can’t totally dictate the relationship.
I'm not that strong. I like how possessive and jealous Finn gets over me, even though he's not technically my boyfriend.
"This is unfair. You two have your own Bastard! Where's mine?" The words seem whiney, but Nyla has the strangest look on her face. Her expression tells of some kind of trauma but I can tell she’s not ready to tell us about it. I know that look too well. I won’t ask her until she tells me.
"Well, there's still Rian, Eoghan, and Colin. As far as I know, none of them have anyone, but what do I know? I spent a bit of time with them earlier and had no idea about Willow and Tiernan. He seemed nice from the few moments I spent with him. Rian on the other hand was an extreme douche canoe. He kept giving me nasty looks when I was there and made this snarky remark about me being a good girl," I tell them.
I grimace at what he called me. The prick. No one calls me a good girl except Finn, and I’m fairly certain he knows that. It doesn't matter if Rian is Finn's friend. I'll at least attempt to kick his ass. With an adrenaline rush, I might have a fighting chance.
I cussed out our principal for calling me a good girl and I actually liked Principal Jordan before that incident.
I've never liked Rian Walsh.
If he calls me a good girl again, he'll see the extent of my wrath. For his sake, there better not be a bat around.
"How about we have a girl’s night? We can watch some rom-coms, eat junk food, and maybe have some fun with my little friend," Nyla mutters with excitement as she pulls a full bottle of tequila from her bag. She shakes it in a teasing manner with a mischievous smirk across her pink iridescent stain-covered lips.
"Do you typically carry a full bottle of alcohol around in your purse? But, regardless, sounds like fun! What do you say, Francine?" Willow presses.
"Well, my mom did say she wants us to be open with each other, but I'm not sure how she'll feel about us drinking in the house," I say nervously.
I don't want to start a fight with my mom. Things are good and I don't want to push it.
"Don't let me stop your party." A feminine voice comes from the doorway, and we snap our heads to my mom as she walks inside.
"Mom!" I exclaim in surprise.
"Hey, girls. I was just coming to check on you. I'm glad to see you pulled yourself away from Finn to hang out with your friends," she says as she sets two pizza boxes on the coffee table.
"Pizza!"
"Awesome!"
Willow and Nyla cheer together as I smile at my mom. I texted her to let her know that they would be here. I can see the confusion on her face at only seeing two friends when I told her it would be three, but she doesn't address it.
"I hope you girls are hungry. I'd stay, but I have a business meeting to attend to. Sorry, honey, but I'll probably be late. It's a business opportunity I can't pass up," she says before walking toward the kitchen.
"Damn. You look just like your mom," Willow says, surprised.
"Yeah, I know," I mutter before following my mom into the kitchen.
She grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and slips out of her gray sweater.
"Mom?"
She smiles at me before grabbing her black blazer from the back of a kitchen chair.
"Sorry for the last-minute plans. I'll make it up to you tomorrow. I made your appointment for first thing in the morning. Afterward, we can get some breakfast in town."
I know she's in a hurry, and I don't want to hold her up, but we promised open communication. She wanted to know when Finn and I took the next step, and we have. I don't want to seem like I'm hiding things from her.
"Mom—"
"If you girls need anything—"
I couldn't take the tension in my chest any longer, worried about her reaction, and the words come spilling out.
"I had sex with Finn!" I explode.
My mom freezes for a moment before her eyes slowly lift to mine. "You had sex?" she asks as if she isn't sure she heard me right.
"Yes, with Finn. We had sex," I say again, mortified to be telling her this, but it has to be done.
"Before we got you on birth control? Please, tell me you at least used a condom," she groans, exasperated, slowly shaking her head in disbelief.
"Yes, we used protection, Mom," I say, embarrassed to be telling my mother this but I soldier on.
"Did he pressure you? I thought you said you were waiting," she presses.
I take a seat at the island. "No, he didn't pressure me, Mom! If anything, I pushed him. I just—what you said this morning about how being ready is a myth got me thinking. I realized what really mattered to me is that Finn makes me feel safe, and I wanted to be with him. Waiting wasn't going to change that."
I'm certainly not going to explain how drugs were involved in the loss of my virginity. They gave me the spiritual experience to work through the confusion in my brain.
"You just had to wait until the morning, Francine. Condoms are only eighty-five percent effective—less if a guy is… rough."
Rough? Rough? Rough sex affects the use of condoms? This is a concept I've never heard of before.
"What? Why?"
She stares at me skeptically before rolling her eyes. "Higher chance of the condom breaking or... slipping." She slowly shakes her head in disbelief. "It doesn't matter. If Finn was stupid enough to be rough with you your first time, he doesn't care about you and I can tell he does care about you, Francine."
He wasn't rough, though. Not the first time, at least. When he was rough, it was because I asked him to be. I asked him not to hold back, and it was heavenly.
"I'll stop and pick you up a Plan B pill, just in case. The last thing you need is to be knocked up your senior year."
“Speaking from personal experience, Mom?” Her reaction to the whole thing makes me able to draw this one conclusion. Her green eyes flash to mine, eyes like mine. A deer caught in a hunter’s trap. She doesn’t speak a single word, but that one look tells me everything.
My mother has some secrets she won’t even tell me with our open policy. But, a high school pregnancy?
Six months before your father. I remember her words explaining how long she was with Finn’s dad. She was only in Grove Hill her senior year so it's either she got knocked up in Hempstead or… The possibility makes me nauseous.
Do I have an older sibling out there somewhere that links my mom to Finn’s dad?
On the way out of the kitchen, she pats my shoulder, but it seems forced.
Knocked up.
That's how she put it.
Was it really stupid for us to have sex only using a condom? I know mistakes happen with any form of contraceptive.
Willow and Nyla rush into the kitchen when they see my mom leave, one with the pizza and the other with the bottle of tequila.
"It sucks that Ryleigh couldn't hold her tongue," Nyla comments as I push everything with my mom to the back of my head. "We need a fourth. We can't be the Three Musketeers. We're supposed to be The Four Flirts!"
The Four Flirts was a nickname Willow came up with when our close-knit group started freshman year. Willow and I have been friends since kindergarten though.
"But if Ryleigh is out, who could possibly come hang with us?" Willow asks.
A spark of genius ignites in my mind as I pull out my phone.
"What are you doing?" Nyla asks.
"Calling Finn's sister. Maybe she wants to come and be our fourth."
Nyla and Willow stare at me with surprise across their faces as I put the phone to my ear, hoping Sorcha answers.
"Hello?" her greeting is tentative, like she doesn't recognize my number.
We've only texted a couple times over the past few years, so it's no surprise she doesn't recognize my number.
"Hey, it's Francine," I say.
"Hi, Francine. What's up?" her voice is now cheery, more like her normal self.
"Not much. Me, Nyla, and Willow are hanging out for a girl’s night and I was wondering if you wanted to hang with us."
"Well, where's Ryleigh?" she asks, a hint of hesitation in her voice.
"She ran off after I put my foot down. She was doing her whole anti-Bastard rant," I explain.
Sorcha groans. "God, I hate those. I always just bite my tongue and nod, not listening to it at all."
I laugh. "Did you see the one she did on Facebook? She tagged me and your brother in it."
"Girl, she tagged everyone in it. Hashtag Jail The Bastards? Seriously, that's the most unoriginal thing ever."
"I know, right?" We laugh.
Nyla glares at me. "Francine!" she hisses.
"Right, so, what do you say?" I ask.
"Sure! Anything you need me to bring?"
"My mom dropped off some pizzas and Nyla brought a bottle of tequila, so bring anything you want," I explain.
I can hear Sorcha screeching. "Great! I'll bring some weed and beer. I can't stand tequila."
"Awesome. See you soon."
I end the call and Willow and Nyla stare at me expectantly.
"She's coming."
I've never felt as excited for a girl's night as I am for this one. Tonight will mark the joining of both the good girl in my past and the bad girl of my present.
CHAPTER 23
HER
Sorcha comes into the kitchen after following my voice. Nyla and Willow stare at her in shock.
"Hey! You made it!" I say with a big smile across my face.
"Yup. I brought Dos Equis," she quips with humor in her voice.
"I'm surprised Eoghan or Colin didn't send you with a full party of supplies," I joke.
Sorcha laughs, completely amused by my joke. "Oh, they tried, and they also tried to invite themselves along. Question, who is Harley?" she says, confusion crosses her face.
I can't help laughing. "Um, me. They started calling me that today. I think what Colin said is that I'm a whole lotta pretty and a whole lotta crazy."
Sorcha can't hide the smile on her face, even though she puts up a decent effort. "Oh, my god. Harley Quinn. I get it now. I was wondering why they were referring to my brother as Mr. J. Now, I get it. You do give off the whole pre-acid bath vibe," Sorcha jokes. "Where did you see Colin?" she asks, suddenly realizing I specifically referenced today over any other time.
"Finn took her to his house," Nyla says with a tantalizing gossip tone to her voice.
Sorcha sits the case of beer on the counter. Sorcha's eyes snap to me as I lean against the counter, trying to avoid her eyes. "Wait. I think I'm missing something. The last time we talked," she hints at the night where Sorcha encountered me walking into Finn's house covered in blood before continuing. "You said you wanted nothing more to do with my brother."
I knew she'd be confused the last time I saw her by how I was clinging to Finn, but it wasn't something I could explain at the time. Now, things are much clearer, and I know where Finn and I stand.
Still, I can't find the right words to say. I open my mouth and all the things I could say become lodged in my throat. I can barely breathe—let alone tell Sorcha that I'm falling for her brother, and I gave him my virginity. How do you put something like this into words? It feels impossible.
Telling my mom was hard enough, but this is ridiculous. Sorcha isn't just someone I want to be friends with. She is also highly important to Finn. She's his sister—someone he trusts, someone he loves.
"He changed sweet Francine's mind with a little cunnilingus," Nyla teases when I don't respond.
I'm appalled by her crude remark. "Nyla!" I protest, but Sorcha seems to be holding back a laugh—amused instead of disgusted.
"It's true. You and Finn were pretty hot and heavy when I interrupted you at the beach. I could feel the sexual energy coming off you two from outside the tent."
"She's his sister," I hiss at her.
"So? It's not like she doesn't know about her brother's... promiscuities," Nyla mutters.
I let out a loud groan, but Sorcha's laughter stops me from delivering an apology.
"It's okay. I grew up around the Five Families. They're all crass and I'm very well aware of how much my brother gets around."
Okay. Ouch.
Why does it bother me so much that Finn has been with a bunch of girls before me? It shouldn't matter. All that should matter is that we're together, but it does matter.
It's because I'm a jealous, clingy bitch and I can't help feeling inferior to whoever he's taken to his bed.
"He definitely wormed his way into Francine's bed," Willow jokes before Sorcha's wide eyes move to me.
I told her that I never had sex with Duncan. She knows I shared my first time with her brother.
"Oh. My. God," she says with a massive grin across her face.
"It's not a big deal," I murmur before my inner voice pipes in.
Bullshit. That mind-blowing sex was a huge deal. So is Finn's dick, you little fibber.
"Yeah, it's never a big deal when you let the guy you're exclusive with pop your cherry," Nyla cracks fun at me before her and Willow laugh at my expense.
Sorcha pales momentarily before her eyes meet my embarrassed ones.
"You're… exclusive… with Finn?" Her words—tone and all—are very surprised. I was concerned about her reaction, but it seems I don't have anything to worry about.
"Uh, yeah. We had a whole discussion about it officially this afternoon," I say as Sorcha pulls two bottles of beer out of the case. She hands me one before popping the top off hers.
"Oh my god! That's amazing!" Sorcha screeches before pulling me into a tight hug. The hug tells me everything I need to know. She accepts me as her brother's girl. "My brother has never been exclusive with anyone, like ever. You're practically my sister now."
I don't know what to say to that. Is it that big of a deal for her?
"Just don't tell Rian you guys are exclusive. He will flip his shit," Sorcha warns.
I roll my eyes. I don't give a shit what Rian thinks about me and Finn. It's none of his business what's going on with us.
We all chat and laugh together as we scarf down the pizza and Sorcha brings out some weed. We move to the kitchen table as Sorcha rolls up the first joint.
"If we get drug tested, we'll be kicked off the dance team," Willow says nervously.
"God, don't be such a killjoy. It's just pot!" Nyla protests.
"I smoke all the time, and I've never failed a drug test," Sorcha retorts as she pulls out her lighter.
"How?" Willow presses.
"Water pills. They flush everything out of your system. I wouldn't be able to handle Coach Hatcher without my little friend, Mary Jane. I would've gotten expelled by now."
I laugh. "I wish I had this before now. She makes me want to pull my hair out."
Coach Hatcher is a hardass at best, but I know she just wants our team to do well. She has the best intentions, but she could chill out every once in a while.
"Amen to that, sister," Sorcha says before lighting the joint. She takes a drag before handing it over to me.
"How about we play a little game?" Nyla suggests.
"What kind of game?" Willow asks as I take a drag off the joint. This hits differently than the laced one I smoked earlier, so I don't expect it to be the same. Still, it's relaxing as hell.
"How about Truth or Dare? It'll be fun."
I'm the only one who objects. I'm down for some dares, but I'm a little worried Nyla will ask me some strange questions about Finn in bed while Sorcha is right here. It still feels weird to me, even if she said she doesn't mind.
"Okay. I'll go first!" Willow raises her hand with excitement as she pours herself a shot of tequila. "Sorcha, truth or dare."
"Truth. I'm an open book."
"If you could, who would you want to roll around in bed with? Has to be someone you know and not a celebrity. Go," Willow pushes, and I catch how Sorcha tenses.
"Um, pass. I'll take a shot."
