Maybe someday, p.25
Maybe Someday, page 25
Willingly, Chris surrendered to this moment. She laid herself bare in front of Ash and let Ash be in control, something that she struggled with every moment of her life. She held on to Ash’s hips as she rocked them, starting a slow and steady rhythm just like Chris had requested. She never sped up. Chris moved her hand down, swiping her fingers over her engorged clit.
“Damn that’s sexy,” Ash stated, as she leaned on her hands and looked down at their bodies, her hair falling over her shoulder to curtain Chris’ view.
It was sexy. Chris had never felt so connected with someone before. Or at least it had been a really long time since it had happened. She loved it. “Keep going.”
“I’m not stopping,” Ash answered.
Chris could feel herself once again pulling together toward orgasm. This would have to be it though, at least until she rested. She needed to catch her breath and her bearings, and as much as Ash had suggested it in jest, Chris wanted to sleep with her. Not sex. Not teasing like this. Chris just wanted to hold Ash against her chest, curled around her in slumber.
“I’m close.” Chris held her breath. Her stomach tightened. She looked up into Ash’s eyes as she was awash with a smooth kind of pleasure. The kind she’d longed years for and never wanted to give up.
“Don’t hold back.”
“I’m not,” Chris whispered. She couldn’t break eye contact with Ash. Not this time. Looking up into those bright blue eyes, the happiness reflected in them, the joy, the simplicity but also the complications of this moment, Chris allowed herself to feel. “Come up here and take that damn thing off.”
Ash laughed, and the smile never left her face as she pulled out and divested herself of the strap. She set it on the coffee table and then moved to straddle Chris again.
“Uh uh. Up here.”
Ash’s grin faltered for only a moment before she started to move. Chris stayed put as she waited for Ash to hover just above her head. This was what she’d been waiting for.
“One tongue for another?” Chris teased.
“Get to it,” Ash answered.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Chris dove in. She licked Ash firmly, savoring that familiar sweet and savory flavor. She hummed and closed her eyes at the pureness of it all. She twirled her tongue around Ash’s clit before diving her tongue as far into her as she could. Ash was so wet. Her juices coated Chris’ chin and cheeks.
Chris put everything she had into this moment. She played it like it was the last chance she was going to get with Ash. It probably wasn’t, but with the way her life was, she couldn’t be sure. She wrapped her arms around Ash’s thighs and held onto her creamy smooth skin.
Crying out on top of her, Ash rutted against Chris’ mouth wildly. Chris almost didn’t have to do anything except hold her mouth in one spot. Sucking a little harder, Chris gave everything she had in that moment to Ash. Her body ached, her muscles bone tired from the long week she’d had, but she couldn’t let this opportunity pass up. Despite how many times she told herself she wouldn’t let Ash back into her heart, she’d jumped at the first chance she had.
And she didn’t regret it.
“Chris,” Ash’s voice cracked.
Looking straight up at Ash’s face peeking through the movement of her breasts, Chris watched as she crumbled. Her entire body shook with pleasure. More juices slicked against Chris’ skin, but she didn’t move away, not yet, not until she knew Ash needed her to.
It wasn’t much longer until Ash shifted off Chris and sat precariously on the edge of the couch. Chris ran her fingers up and down her arm as they looked at each other in quiet reverence.
“I’m so glad I showed up tonight. I was almost a chickenshit and left.”
“I’m happy you didn’t,” Chris responded. “I’m so happy you didn’t.”
Her heart filled, that old sense of hope tugging at her again. Was this really what she wanted? Chris was pretty sure it was, at least for now. She could handle this for now. It was when she started to think about someday that she struggled, that she started to self-sabotage, that her nerves kicked into high gear and she lost control over herself.
“Can we go lay in bed?” Chris asked suddenly, needing to be so much closer to Ash. Anything that would help silence the fears rambling around inside her. “I just want to hold you.”
Ash’s smile was brilliant. “Yeah, of course. That can be the chill part of our Netflix and chill.”
“Jesus.” Chris smacked her forehead and rolled her eyes. She was an idiot to the core, and she wasn’t sure how she’d ever get over her own awkwardness.
Pulling herself to sit up, Chris shook her head. She couldn’t believe that she’d said that. It had worked, but she could scarcely believe it.
“Come on.” Snagging Ash’s hand, Chris wove their fingers together.
They walked comfortably toward Chris’ bedroom. She slipped onto the mattress and settled with Ash next to her, arms wrapped around each other. This was what Chris had longed for the few times they’d been together. The tender touch, the closeness, the connection between them—it was what she craved. And this was how she got intimacy, far more than sex. Chris had forgotten that about relationships. It’d been so long since she’d been in one where it was present.
Kissing just under Ash’s ear, Chris didn’t stop there. She pressed sweet kisses anywhere she could reach on Ash’s body. She wouldn’t give this up for the world if she could avoid it. She just had to keep on the path that she was working toward—sober, vulnerable, and strong.
Chapter Thirty-Two
This time the drive to their chosen date night location wasn’t filled to the brim with apprehension. The air felt clear and bright. Ash got out of her car and met Chris at the front, wrapping their fingers together tightly. She didn’t want to let go. Last time there had been something that had held her back, and when Chris had left unexpectedly, she’d been devastated yes, but also somewhat relieved.
This time came without all that baggage.
Ash and Chris sat down, and ordered their drinks and food. Ash couldn’t stop looking at Chris. She nearly couldn’t believe that they were finally on a date. That she was seeing someone who wasn’t Mari, that she was willingly throwing herself into another relationship.
“What?” Chris asked, a hint of disbelief in her tone.
Shaking her head, Ash leaned back in her chair and smiled. “Nothing.”
“There’s not nothing in that look,” Chris accused.
“Fine. I was just thinking about how happy I am. Honestly,” Ash added at Chris’ deepened look of disbelief. “I never thought I’d be in a relationship again.”
“You like to pine, don’t you?” Chris narrowed her eyes at Ash.
“Sometimes.” Ash giggled lightly. “You would too if you were me.”
“If I had found the love of my life you mean?” Chris’ words weren’t said in anger, but Ash detected the note of sadness in them.
Reaching forward, Ash snagged Chris’ hand with her own. She didn’t want to let go ever. She traced her thumb over the smooth skin she found. “That’s not what I said.”
“I love Andry, but I’ll agree that she wasn’t the love of my life. It’s very clear that we didn’t have what you and Mari had.” Chris tensed. Ash could feel it in her muscles from across the table.
Frowning, Ash did the only thing she could think of. She let go of Chris’ hand and moved around the table to sit next to her. She dropped a hand onto Chris’ thigh and squeezed her knee. The sides of their bodies pressed together snuggly. Ash looked into Chris’ deep brown eyes, into the hurt that still lingered there, the shame at her past and her failed marriage. Ash kissed her cheek. Then her other cheek.
“Sometimes our hearts are bigger than we expect them to be.”
“How did you get so wise? Seriously? I met you as a snarky teenager who wanted nothing to do with any authority figure. You wanted nothing to do with me, and I only marginally wanted anything to do with you. And here we are, seventeen years later, holding hands, kissing—I don’t know how we got here.”
“Kismet?” Ash asked. “Fate? Desire? Second chances?”
“Second chances implies there was a first chance, and no thank you to sixteen year old you. That was…” Chris shuddered “…just no thank you.”
Ash giggled. “Good, I’m glad we’re agreed on that. No attraction until this year.”
“None at all on my part. Trust me. That was the height of my relationship with Andry. We were doing so well then.” Chris covered Ash’s hand with her own, curling her fingers. “You didn’t have a crush on me back then?”
“Hell no.”
Chris snorted lightly. “I don’t think many students had crushes on me.”
“You might be surprised.” Ash leaned in more. “This former student definitely has a crush on you now.”
Chris turned, and Ash stole her lips. The kiss was brief but deep. Ash didn’t want to tempt herself too much since the girls would be home that night and they only had a few hours for dinner. She’d much prefer for Chris to stay the night with her, but that was impossible right now.
“That’s just weird,” Chris murmured. “I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to that one.”
“Do you just ignore that part of our connection?”
“When your mouth is on mine…or elsewhere? Yeah, I do just ignore that part of things.”
Ash chuckled, her voice low in her throat, aiming for seduction. “Oh Dr. Murphey, how very vanilla of you.”
Chris blushed hard. Her entire face turned red. Ash took Chris’ hand and slid it into her lap, pressing their clasped hands between her legs.
“I never would have pegged you—oh wait, did that.”
“Ash,” Chris hissed. “Are you serious right now?”
“Serious as a doorknob.” Ash kissed Chris’ cheek again. “But if you want me to stop, I will.”
Chris groaned. Her eyelids fluttered shut, and she rested her forehead on Ash’s shoulder. Ash reached up with her free hand and threaded her fingers into Chris’ hair, massaging the back of her neck and the base of her skull. She had so many damn knots in her muscles. Ash really needed to pay more attention to those.
“Don’t stop,” Chris whispered.
“Don’t stop massaging or don’t stop the raunchy flirting?”
A giggle bubbled up from Chris, her body shaking against Ash’s as they held each other.
“Don’t stop either,” Chris answered confidently. She lifted her head and kissed Ash’s lips lightly. “But do stop when the waitress comes back.”
“Fine.” Ash gave her a mock pout. “But back to what I was saying, I never would have pegged you for being so vanilla.”
Chris shrugged. “I live a very boring life, what can I say?”
“Say we can spice it up.”
“I think you’ve already accomplished that.”
“This?” Ash moved their hands more firmly between her legs, flattening Chris’ against her crotch and hoping she would do something about it. “This is nothing.”
Chris rolled her fingers twice before pushing in and increasing the pressure. She didn’t let up. Ash’s clit pulsed with pleasure, and she hummed as she pressed a kiss just under Chris’ ear.
“If I could take you home right now, I would.” Ash flicked her tongue against the lobe on Chris’ ear. “And I’d take you.”
“You’re not going to make tonight by myself easy, are you?”
“There’s always the phone.”
Chris groaned. “You know how much I hate phone sex.”
“Ah, but my dear Dr. Murphey, there might not be another option.”
Ash pulled away slightly when their waitress appeared with their food just as Chris had requested, but she stayed sitting next to Chris instead of moving back to where she had been. She liked this better. They could touch this way and with far more subtlety.
“I did want to talk to you about something, though.” Apprehension filled her now. It wasn’t that she thought Chris would disagree with her. It was more she was scared what it would mean for both of them moving forward.
“Sure.” Chris cut into her steak. “What about?”
“Avonlee and Rhubie.”
“Yes, can you tell me why you named your daughter, Rhubarb?”
Ash’s jaw dropped, her cheeks heating from embarrassment. “Mari chose her name. Mari being short for Marigold, and she always said marigolds and rhubarb go hand in hand. I don’t know, I’m not a gardener. That was her thing.”
Chris chuckled, her nose wrinkling. “Both are certainly odd names for people.”
“I’m sure you’ve seen your fair share of odd names.”
“I have,” Chris agreed.
“Anyway, about the girls, I’m not sure I’m ready for them to know yet.”
“About us you mean?” Chris always was direct, but her tone didn’t harbor any bad feelings that Ash could detect.
“Yeah, about us. Avonlee is finally calming down. I don’t really want to upset her again and send her back down in a new spiral of chaos.”
“I understand.” Chris reached for Ash’s hand, twining their fingers. “I really do. I would like to tell Katie, but she won’t tell anyone. She kept Isla and Andry a secret, not that she was asked to, she just did it.”
“She did?” For some reason, that surprised Ash. Katie was older for sure, but that was her mom.
“She knew what it would mean if it got out that her mom was dating her teacher.”
“I’m sorry, say that again?” Ash already knew, but she was curious if Chris was willing to admit it.
“Oh.” Chris pursed her lips. “Isla used to work for Andry. When they started dating, Isla applied for a job and I hired her.”
“Why?”
“So they could be together.”
“You really are just one big teddy bear under all that hard exterior, aren’t you?”
Chris raised a shoulder and dropped it, focusing on her food. “I take care of the people I love.”
“That you do.” Ash kissed Chris’ knuckles. “I’m just not ready for that fallout yet.”
“You’re not sure if we’re ready for it.”
Ash’s lips parted in surprise. Again, Chris’ directness took her. “A little of both, actually. Until we know where this is going, for sure, I don’t see a need to tell them.”
“Are we going to talk about my job at all in this conversation?” Chris took a sip of her drink, but that same tension that was there before was back.
Ash hated that she was the reason for it. “We probably should.”
“I can land in some serious hot water for this.”
“It can’t be unheard of for a teacher to date a parent.”
“It’s not unheard of, no.” Chris pursed her lips. “But for a principal…we’re on a whole different level in some ways. And I’ve made some enemies in the last year by standing up for those people that I love.”
“Have you?” Ash raised an eyebrow. “I feel there’s a story here.”
“That story is for another day and another time, and in a lot of ways, isn’t my story to tell. But I don’t have as much pull or as many friends in the district as I used to.” Chris leaned back in her chair. “It does worry me to date a parent.”
“I’d hate to transfer the kids to another school simply because we’re dating.”
“I’m not sure it’d be wise for Avonlee. She’s got one year left at Irving, and then she’ll be in junior high. Think we can keep it a secret that long?” Chris pulled her lower lip into her mouth and sucked on it.
Was she nervous about all this as well?
Ash slowly shook her head. “No. No, I don’t think we can. I don’t want to. And let’s face it, we were practically making out in the middle of a restaurant. I’m not sure either of us wants that.”
“Good.” Chris grinned. “I don’t either.”
“But I do want this to last,” Ash whispered that part. It was the first time she’d said it out loud, and she wasn’t willing to go back on it now. “I want us to last.”
“Then keep up that delicious flirting you were doing.” Chris winked.
“I’m serious.”
“I am, too.”
“Be careful what you ask for. Because if you’re going to keep this up, I’m going to demand phone sex later.”
“Done and done.” Chris winked, then she went back to eating her steak like nothing had ever happened.
Taking a risk, Ash slid her hand under the table and right against Chris’ crotch. Chris radiated heat from between her legs. Ash stroked slowly, first one finger and then two. Could she make Chris orgasm right here in the restaurant? Probably. But would Chris let her take it that far? Probably not. Still, Ash could tease with the best of them.
“Are we ever going to try that desk thing?”
Chris choked. Ash watched as she coughed and spluttered, reaching for her drink to chug a few good sips from it before glaring at Ash. “We’re not at the school.”
“My office then. Come on, we can fantasize, can’t we?”
“Oh sweet Jesus.”
“Call out to him all you want, Chris, but when my face is between your legs I’m pretty sure I’m your master.” Ash pushed her fingers in hard, wishing that her hand was underneath Chris’ clothes, but this would have to do. She nuzzled her face against Chris’ neck, drawing in her scent.
Chris squeaked. She turned slowly to face Ash and gave her best glare.
“So, what are we going to master tonight?”
“Ash,” Chris hissed.
“You do know that using that principal voice on me is only making this way worse for both of us, right?” Ash fought back the laugh that wanted to erupt from her. She really couldn’t help herself.
Chris moved in suddenly, capturing Ash’s lips in a deep kiss. She reached up and cupped Ash’s cheeks, holding her in place. Their tongues tangled, and Ash could taste the saltiness from the steak, the garlic from the mash. She hummed her satisfaction as she pushed into Chris, giving as much as she received.
Ash honestly couldn’t have asked for more than this. Chris was so understanding, so protective, and so very present in this moment. It was all she could have ever wanted in a relationship. Nipping at Chris’ lower lip, Ash pulled back.
