Daisy plucked, p.4
Daisy, Plucked, page 4
Henry let out a hearty laugh and Daisy found herself actually laughing along with him. They’d had a million conversations mimicking this exact one, and for a second she could fool herself into thinking that things were still the same as they used to be. Then she remembered her ideal evening plans included underage drinking and probably crying over her dead secret ex-girlfriend, and she sighed.
“But really, kid, the half days aren’t ... too much? You can wait another few weeks if you need to. Or even take the summer off. I’m sure the camp can find someone to cover if you need, and I can just give you spending money for school,” Henry said the words in a rush, like they were building up and waiting to bubble over.
“I like having something to do,” Daisy admitted, leaving out that she didn’t want whatever strings would come attached to an allowance from her father. She started counting the lines in the printed on fake wood veneer pattern of Henry’s desk to distract herself, and she only got up to seven before her father spoke again.
“I ... I can understand that. Just — you’ll let me know if it’s too much, right? Or if you need a break or anything?”
“Yeah, Dad, I will. No worries.” It would take a miracle or another unspeakable tragedy for her to ask her dad for help, but she wasn’t going to tell him that. She glanced at the clock. It’d been almost half an hour since she arrived, which meant her dad needed to get back to work soon. She was relieved she had an excuse to leave, but the relief came with an immediate guilt that unsettled her stomach again. But the sooner she got outside, the sooner she could distance herself from the overheard conversation and what it meant for the maybe-imagined ghost of Hana.
“Hey, can I run some errands with Will’s car? I just have to run to the store quick.” She paused before adding, “Girl stuff,” to ensure that her dad wouldn’t ask questions.
“Just check with Will first, okay?” Henry said, distracted by an email notification that popped up.
“Okay, I’ll text him now,” Daisy said.
Daisy
Hey I’m taking the car to go to the store so I’ll be home a little later than expected thankssss
Will
okay but be fast I want to go out
Daisy
No <3
I will be following all traffic laws to a T can’t believe you would encourage me to break the speed limit. Heathen
Daisy stood and gave her dad a quick hug, which he returned with one arm without pausing from whatever he was typing on his computer.
“I’ll see you two for dinner. I’m thinking of ordering pizza,” he said.
“Pizza sounds good. See you later, Dad.”
Daisy wove her way out of the office, walking quickly enough that no one would speak with her. She checked her purse on the walk to the car and found just enough cash to buy her favorite overly sweet pink wine.
When Daisy started the car, she was met with a blast of sound and hot air — clearly she forgot to turn off the AC or radio before she went into the office building. Daisy sighed and reached to turn it down but paused. The same song from the drive to Hana’s burial, “Heaven is a Place on Earth,” was playing loudly, and Daisy closed her eyes in an effort not to start crying. She shut off the air and turned to see someone in the passenger seat. Luckily the car was in park because she physically jumped back, letting out a startled noise.
“Settle down, lazy Daisy, it’s just me. Like the song? I just think it’s a nice touch.” Hana’s ghost grinned at her.
“Still not convinced you’re real. I’ve just finally lost it,” Daisy said. If she was insane, speaking with her delusions was almost the same as talking to herself. She backed out of the spot and started driving, trying not to get distracted by the ghost.
“I’m not fake. You’re not that kind of crazy. I’m still stuck here, so clearly you haven’t figured things out yet,” Hana drawled, listing out each point she made on her manicured fingers.
“Very reassuring for the projection of my subconscious to tell me I’m not crazy. Definitely, totally makes me feel one hundred percent better.”
“Anyways, back to my murder. Any suspects? First thoughts? Fun clues?” Hana pressed, redirecting the conversation to flow the way she wanted it to.
“Well, I know you were killed with your father’s gun,” Daisy said after a pregnant pause.
“Oh. That’s ... something. Did you get to go look for stuff in my room yet?”
“No, I haven’t ... I’m working up to it.”
“Working up to it? Just go look in my room.” Hana’s ghost scowled at Daisy.
“Hana, that’s where you died.”
“Oh, right. I ... I see why that’s hard, but you know what’s harder? Existing in the limbo between life and death.”
“And we wouldn’t want you to suffer at all, Hana,” Daisy snapped. “Of course not. Of course I’ll bend over backwards at your beck and call.”
“Come on, I didn’t mean it like that.”
“What did you mean it like?”
Hana’s ghost hung her head. “I saw my mom earlier. She’s ... she’s not doing well.”
Daisy was silent, swallowing thickly around the lump that had appeared in her throat. “That makes sense. Her daughter did kill herself.”
“No I didn’t!” Hana shouted. The air conditioning flared back on, hitting Daisy with a blast of now-cold air.
“Okay, got it, not suicide.”
“Thank you. Now, are you going to look or not?”
“Since I’m still convinced I’m just losing my mind, I don’t know what to tell you,” Daisy huffed. “Even if you’re a real ghost, how do I know you’re not just messing with me? It’s not like we last parted on good terms.” Daisy made a sharp left turn into the liquor store parking lot.
“You’re right, and sure I shouldn’t have said some of that stuff like that—”
“Love that you’re not taking any of it back.” Daisy shut the car off. She slipped on a sweatshirt to cover her camp lifeguard t-shirt before getting out of the car, and Hana followed. She opened the door of the car and shut it behind her, and Daisy looked around to see if anyone was around to see a door moving on its own, but the parking lot of the liquor store was unsurprisingly empty at 1:15 pm on a Thursday. She wished the cracks in the sun-worn asphalt could have told her if they saw Hana too.
“Can anyone else see you?” Daisy asked as they walked into the store.
“No. It’s another one of those weird left in the between things. I could only choose one person to talk with,” Hana explained.
“Why not your mom?” Daisy asked. She would look insane if she talked while in the store, so she hoped Hana wouldn’t ask her any questions in return.
“We ... She likes to shut her eyes and believe that there’s sun even when she can feel the rain, you know? So I wasn’t sure if she would really ... I don’t know, actually try to solve my murder.” Hana paused. “Although she probably would’ve gone through my room by now, so maybe I should’ve chosen her.” Daisy rolled her eyes but didn’t respond. Instead, she gave a small wave to the man working behind the counter and started browsing the aisles as if she didn’t know exactly what she wanted.
The liquor store was grimy, but that was part of the reason Daisy risked using her fake ID here. The floors were a speckled linoleum that she suspected had once been white, and the corners of most of the tiles were crumbling, making the dirty grout look like it was chipping away at the tiles. Daisy had seen the man who worked here mopping before, but she wasn’t sure if that was just for show.
The aisles were organized haphazardly — the bourbon was next to the white wine, and the spiked seltzer was aisles away from the beer. Daisy didn’t feel that it was her place to ask what the organization method was, and she had a strong feeling that they simply put things on the shelf this way once and were now too lazy to move the sun-faded signs.
After a few minutes of pretend browsing, Daisy picked up her usual oversized bottle of pink Moscato and walked to the counter. The usual cashier was there, and she braced herself for the interaction. He looked her up and down when she walked up, and she repressed the need to cover herself up despite the fact that she wore a sweatshirt and nearly knee length athletic shorts to comply with the camp’s dress code. She shrank slightly under his lingering gaze.
“Hey there, darlin’. That all for today?” he asked, and his phrase was accented by the small beep from the item scanner. She nodded, and he looked at the screen for a moment.
“He’s so creepy. Has he ever actually hit on you? Or does he just do this whole talk-to-your-chest-and-call-you-over-stepping-nicknames-thing?” Hana asked.
“Yeah, that’s all,” Daisy said, fishing around in her wallet for her fake ID before presenting it to the man. A little spike of fear hit her even though she knew it would likely work. He took a look at it and scanned the dates and Daisy’s face before nodding. He punched something into the computer and clicked a few keys before announcing her total. She handed him the wad of cash she’d been saving for this, and he clicked more keys before the cash register sprang open, so sudden and loud that Daisy nearly jumped.
“He definitely stared at your ID for too long,” Hana said. “Probably thinking about if twenty-two is too young for him. Or deciding to take it even though he knows it’s fake because you’re cute.”
“Got a party or something?” the man asked as he placed the bottle of wine in a plastic bag.
“Celebrating a new job.” She smiled, pretending like she was happy to engage with him.
“Congrats! Where are you working at?” he asked.
Hana grimaced. “That’s so overstepping,” the ghost muttered. Before Daisy could think of how to answer, Hana reached over and knocked the lighters over. The man at the counter jumped back as they fell.
“Wow, I guess these displays aren’t as sturdy as they look.” He laughed half-heartedly and handed Daisy her wine.
“Yeah, uh, I guess you never know. Have a good day,” she said, half mumbling the last few words. He barely paid her any attention on her way out, and she hurried to the car.
“Are you crazy?” she asked Hana’s ghost.
“Does that prove that I’m real yet? I’m getting sick of proving myself. It was a funny bit for, like, fifteen minutes max. Now I just need your help,” Hana said.
Daisy sighed and relented. “Fine. I’ll help. But I’m also not a professional detective or anything, so you really can’t expect much from me.”
Hana pumped her fist in the air. “Finally. Okay, so you need to go poke around my room and read my journals.”
“That sounds deceptively simple.”
“Well, also solve my dad's murder. I'm ninety-nine percent sure I figured it out right before I died, but poof, gone. Must be the head wound,” Hana explained.
“Whoa, what? Your dad’s murder was solved as soon as it happened. What do you mean?”
“There’s something more to it. I ... I know I was investigating it. But the details are all fuzzy. My memory isn’t ... I don’t know how to describe it. It’s like I know I was close, but I can’t remember a lot about my investigation.”
“Great. Perfect. So just solve two murders without also ending up dead. Need anything else?” Daisy asked.
“I would tell you more if I could remember.”
“Would you, though? We both know that you love a secret.”
“Well, yeah, but like fun secrets are more my speed.” Hana tilted her head at Daisy like she was the crazy one for not remembering that. “Like the latest drama in Lily Ginym’s country club crew and who is secretly flunking half their classes because they can’t stop partying. I’m not into protecting the person who killed me.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“Yeah, but you love me,” Hana retorted with a smile at the familiarity of their exchange.
“Yeah, sure.” There was silence for a moment, and when Daisy flicked her eyes to the passenger seat, Hana was gone.
When she walked into the house, Will poked his head out of his room with a smile. “You have fun driving according to every single traffic law?” he teased.
She rolled her eyes. “Yes, I did. Thanks for letting me borrow the car.” She tossed him the keys. He groaned.
“They go on the hook,” he whined, already walking down the stairs to hang them up as Daisy climbed the stairs to her room.
Daisy hid her forbidden goods in her room, already thinking about how long she would need to wait before getting drunk alone. She could toast to the new investigation and the ghost she was beginning to believe was real.
Chapter 4
Hana — age 14
8/16/14
Dear diary,
Today is the day — I’m really doing it this time. I’m going to come out to Daisy.
I know, I know. I’ve been saying that for weeks, but I really can’t back out of it this time. I texted her earlier to see if she wanted to come hang out, and I told her I had something I wanted to tell her. And it’s Daisy, so she’ll ask about it because she always remembers everything, and she’ll definitely know I’m lying if I try to give her some bs excuse. She always knows when I’m lying. Maybe I should ask her what my tell is.
Anyways, I wrote out this whole speech to say to her (which is why there was a page ripped out of this notebook. It wasn’t for something stupid this time) and I’m super ready for it. I mean, she’ll probably be fine with it. Right?
I mean, even Mom and Dad weren’t that bad about it. Sure, Mom made that face that looks like she was trying to get her eyebrows to touch, but she still said she loved me. Dad was super supportive, but ... I don’t know. It felt like he was following some “how to react to your kid coming out” handbook and not actually saying what he thought. I could have it a lot worse, I guess. I haven’t asked them yet if I’m allowed to have sleepovers with Daisy anymore. I hope I am. I don’t wanna lose my best friend over this.
Anyways, Daisy is gonna be here soon. I’m gonna go sit in the backyard and try to relax until she gets here. I doubt I’ll be able to actually relax, but oh well. I’ll see what I can do.
Sincerely,
Hana
Hana breathed in the humid, damp air under the shade of her favorite birch tree. She was lying on the ground in a patch of sun slipping between two trees, closing her eyes against the bright sunlight and letting it bleach the blackness behind her closed eyelids until it felt like she was staring into the sky anyways. She drummed her fingers against the dry grass, unable to stay still with her nerves. For some reason, this felt like a life-or-death moment, like if Daisy didn’t accept her the rest of her world would implode.
The warmth of the sun on her face was disrupted, and Hana squinted up to see Daisy holding her hand at just the right angle to block the sun from Hana’s eyes. The freckles on her arms and cheeks were dark from a summer spent outdoors, and a sunburn reddened the tip of her nose.
“Hey, Hana,” Daisy said. All at once, Hana wasn’t nervous anymore. Daisy was her closest friend and the sweetest person that she knew. Just being around Daisy made Hana act kinder towards other people. Her mother loved when Daisy came over for just that reason.
“Hey, Lazy Daisy,” Hana replied. Daisy rolled her eyes at the nickname and moved her arm out of the way, making Hana close her eyes and throw her own arm up to stop the sunlight from blinding her.
“I hate that nickname, you know,” Daisy muttered, taking a few steps away from Hana to settle on the swing set Hana’s dad had built when her mother was pregnant.
“Yeah, I know.” Hana ran her fingers over her pocket, feeling the small spot where the corner of the folded note was poking through her jean shorts. She took a deep breath, steeling herself to start talking.
“You okay?” Daisy asked, her tone tense and unsure.
“Oh, uh, yeah, I just — I mentioned I have something to tell you? And it’s — I don’t know. I think you won’t care but, I ... don’t know?”
“Did you kill someone?” Daisy teased, trying to lighten the mood.
“If I killed someone, I would’ve called for help burying the body,” Hana quipped. Daisy laughed, and the sound loosened something in Hana’s chest.
“I’m a lesbian,” Hana said, abandoning her well-crafted speech immediately.
“Oh,” Daisy said, her face scrunching up. Hana tried not to hold her breath, but this silence would only be one breath long if she just held on. The silence stretched, and her lungs ached, so she just started rambling.
“Yeah. I don’t — Well, I’ve known for ... a while. Nothing will change,” Hana said quickly, thinking back to her original script. The clever words she wrote were nowhere to be found in her mind, but she didn’t want to pull out the note now.
“That kind of ... makes sense?” Daisy said, tilting her head to really look at Hana.
“What do you mean?” Hana asked.
“I mean, you haven’t even kissed a boy yet. And you’re, like 14, so that’s not normal ... And you’ve been listening to that Troye Sivan song on repeat for like a month ... And you were, like super excited when gay marriage was legalized in New York.”
Hana felt a pit in her stomach. Was she that predictable? Was the way that her parents reacted because they knew and they just hoped she wasn’t?
“Oh,” was the only thing that escaped Hana’s mouth.
“I didn’t mean it like — shit, Hana, thanks for telling me,” Daisy said, looking like she wanted to take back everything she said.
“I, yeah, of course. I already told, like, my parents, but I just thought you — you know, you’re my best friend. And I just thought you should ... know, I guess. I don’t know.” Hana stared at her Converse. The girls had bought matching white pairs and decorated them the past summer, and Hana still wore hers often. The marker hearts Daisy drew on the toe of her left sneaker were fading, but Hana didn’t want to fix them. She liked wearing a little piece of Daisy with her all the time.
“Yeah, I mean — you said it. Nothing's gonna change. I mean, we never talked about boys anyways.” Daisy paused, suddenly looking annoyed. “Is this why your mom told me I couldn’t sleep over?”
