Illicit acollection, p.147
Illicit: A Contemporary Romance Collection, page 147
My family.
“No, no. I didn’t mean it that way.” She swings a hand over my shoulder. Her fingers then slip to the back of my neck, and she flexes them gently at the base of my skull, giving me the best massage ever. “What I meant is that we need to talk about LA, we need to talk about us.”
“Raven, I already told you that LA isn’t an option for me. I don’t want to leave you.” I’ve never been surer of myself. I don’t care what drivel Gerry spouts, I know I can get a job here in Minnesota broadcasting for one of the local networks. Heck, I can even broaden my repertoire outside of football to other sports. An athlete is an athlete.
Raven just stares at me, a smile plastered to her face. “What? You look like you’re about to go apeshit.”
“No, no.” She laughs and shakes her head. “It’s just that… all right, Deuce. If you and I weren’t together–”
“Nope, I don’t wanna imagine that. There is no us not being together. Not after last night.”
“Stop being a pussy and just imagine us not being together for two seconds.” She waves her hands at me like a frantic teenager. I love it when her face scrunches up as she tries to get me to see her point of view.
“All right, all right.”
“Would you have said yes to the ESPN people? About moving to LA?”
“I never really thought about that.” There’s a pause. I just sit there, not sure what to say. “There’s never really a right answer, is there?”
“I’m not trying to lure you into a trap.” Her eyes widen. “Deuce, I’m not that kind of woman. I just want there to be nothing standing between us. Nothing that either one of us can fall back on in the heat of emotion and throw in the other’s face.”
I nod. “Fine. I would’ve gone for it.”
As her face falls, I realize no answer would have avoided this uncomfortable discussion. “And you don’t feel like me being a factor in this equation is killing your career ambitions?”
I slide my hands along the sides of her face. She needs to hear this. Not just with her ears, or her really big brain, but with her soul. “Nope, not in the slightest.”
Her white teeth tug on that lush lower lip I love to kiss. “I don’t get you, Deuce. I really don’t.”
My thumbs swirl circles on the soft flesh of her face. “What don’t you get?”
“I don’t get how you can be so good to me… how you can just put me at the very top of your list and have everything else come in second. You’re not a quarterback, you’re a unicorn. A sparkly, glittery, iridescent white unicorn in a velvet forest. How’d I get so lucky?”
I lean in so close that my body is a mere whisper away from hers. “Everything comes in second to you, Raven. Everything. The moment I chose you, you became my top priority.” My entire life, I’ve never said those words to a woman. It feels good. Right. “And I don’t want that to scare you… I’m only doing these things because I want to do them, not because I feel like I have to do them.”
“I know, I know. It’s just that…” She pauses for a moment, her eyes welling up with tears. “I didn’t think anyone would ever put me first like you do. And now that I have you, I feel like I need to pinch myself every two seconds to believe it. I really, really love you.”
I can’t believe Raven has shed some of her armor to expose her soft, vulnerable underbelly. A warmth radiates through me, and I can’t help but wrap my arms around her and pull her close, my lips finding hers.
“You deserve the world, Raven. I want you to know that you deserve the world. And I intend to give it to you. Every single thing I have to give.”
“So, you’re sure you want to stay here?” Her eyes search mine. “You don’t feel like you’re compromising too much?”
“I’d be compromising too much if I left you to go to LA. The future is us, not LA, or even a job. Now, tell me what you want.” Raven seems to be taken aback by my question. Her eyes connect with mine, but her thoughts drift away.
“I want to be with you, Deuce,” she says finally. “I don’t want you to go to LA, and I don’t want to go anywhere else, either. Not without you, at least. Now that you’re retiring, I want to be your new teammate.”
Teammate.
“I don’t want to go anywhere without you, either. And I love our show, I love the things we do together. I think my favorite part about waking up is getting to see you at the studio and working on our notes and FAQs together and spending the last few moments before going on the air making fun of each other. And the crazy, sexy questions. And don’t forget research.” I give her a lecherous waggle of my eyebrows. “We could spend the rest of our lives and never come to the end of the research that needs to be done.”
She nods, her eyes soft with love. For me. “And spending our minutes on the air making fun of each other too. I love you, Deuce. I really, really do. And I want us to grow together, you know? I want us to do stuff together, see everything together. Do everything together.”
“I want that too,” I say, excited at the thought of going places with this woman. “And I want us to work on our radio show. I want it to be the best radio show in this damn country! I want SiriusXM. I want syndication.”
“Woah, there. Getting a bit too ambitious, don’t you think?” Raven gives me a playful swat on my pecs. “Wow, I’m the biggest buzzkill ever. How do you put up with me?”
I grab her hand and force it lower. “I think you know the answer to that.”
“Because you love me?” She grips me tightly in her palm, her warm skin feels like heaven on my hard flesh. Her smell floods my senses, and I wrap my arms around her even tighter as she strokes me to the edge. She melts into my arms, we melt into each other. As she climbs on top of me, sliding down onto my hard cock, I exhale a moan of pleasure. “Deuce. I want to ask you something else.”
“And what is that?” I don’t think I’ve ever had a serious conversation while fucking. But then again, this woman, my woman, is a cut above.
“Speaking of our radio show… I want to ask you about starring in my instructional video series.”
I grab her tiny waist, lift her high and drop her. “What? You’re working on an instructional video series? Like what we’re doing right now?”
“Mmm.” She flashes me a sly smirk as my hand drifts between us, finding her clit. “Basically I, we’ll, be giving people sex advice… but we’ll take it to a whole new level. With demonstrations. I know how much you love demonstr–”
“You know what I love about you?” I interrupt her, swirling my thumb along the hard nub of her pleasure. I delight in her moan and increase of breath. I know just how she likes it, and there’s nothing I love more than delivering pleasure to this woman. “That whenever you talk about your work, your eyes light up like you’re talking about your favorite thing in the world.”
She leans in and brushes a featherlight kiss to my lips. “Wait until you see how I talk about you.”
With my left hand, I thread my fingers through her thick head of hair and give a little yank. “You’re a smart woman, Raven. In fact, you’re probably the smartest woman I’ve ever known. You’re ambitious, you don’t let anyone or anything get in your way. You don’t take shit from anyone…”
She grinds against my pelvic bone, and I realize I can’t last much longer. “Mmm. You make me sound like a hardass.”
“Nah, the only thing that’s hard in this room is my dick. Inside you. And I can’t wait to hear about your new show. Especially, the demonstration part. Like a lump of clay, feel free to mold me to your every whim.”
“Well, if you insist,” she says, bringing her hand between us and circling me. “I want to take this whole sex therapy thing to new heights, like, I want to actually be able to help people. Good thing my demonstration partner is huge. And hot as hell.”
“Let’s demonstrate how to come hard.”
27
One Year Later…
“God, I’m not even sure what I’m going to talk about today.” Raven tugs her bottom lip between her teeth, shuffling through her flashcards. “I basically have nothing prepared.”
I put the headphones over my ears. “Things have been kind of slow at the station since we’ve started working on our video series. Seems all of our fans rushed over to YouTube.”
“That is true.” She nods, jotting some things down on her card. She pages through them again before looking up at me. “All right, I’ll pull one out at random, and that’s what I’ll be talking about tonight.” She looks down and pulls one card out. “Oh, the chances of getting pregnant without penetration. That could be helpful to a lot of our female listeners.”
“Wow… sounds exciting.” I stare at her, imagining her belly huge with a little mini-me. Deuce the second will start throwing passes in the womb. I can’t imagine anything more beautiful. And the thought of fucking her bareback causes some twitching to start between my legs that’s not appropriate for this studio. Later, I’ll see if I can get her to share in that particular fantasy. I try to ignore all the voices in my head telling me to abort mission. “Well, let’s just talk about that.”
“Well, I’m no OB-GYN, but I’ll do what I can to handle it.”
“You said it.”
Josh throws a hand up in the air and counts us down. Raven’s lips move, but I’m not paying much attention due to my cock’s rousing rendition of the hallelujah chorus. Every once in a while, she gestures and smiles, but it’s not my turn to speak, yet.
“So, yeah… while the pullout method is around eighty percent effective, some people do in fact get pregnant this way. I always recommend a more reliable method of birth control. Deuce, I need to know one thing… how do men know exactly when to pull out?”
My wicked grin widens her eyes. “We feel it coming.”
Her eye roll could win her an Oscar. “Well, do you ever think you’re not that close and whoops, you’re ejaculating?”
“All the time,” I say. “When you’re a pimply teenager.”
“In your expert male opinion, doesn’t that make the pullout method rather… dangerous? Especially when most couples having unprotected sex are underage?” Her eyes dart back and forth, like they’re about to pop out, grow a pair of arms and punch me in the face… repeatedly.
“I guess it does. No one wants an accidental pregnancy.” Except me. With you. “You know, Raven, I don’t think the pullout method is safe, and to be completely honest with you, I don’t think it works at all.”
“Well, technically–”
“Which is why I’m not pulling out, I’m not backing out, Raven.” As an alien life force captures my heart and wrings it dry, I lose control of my mouth. “Raven, I want to ask you something.”
“What?” She raises an eyebrow at me like she always does when I go off script and make her relinquish her tenuous grasp on control. The sooner she realizes that control is an illusion, a cruel trick of the universe, the better off she’ll be. “Deuce, you’re scaring me.” But then her face breaks into a smile. A couple of seconds into the shenanigans, she exhales and leans back in her chair, riding the wave of spontaneity. For a second, I think she might try to stop me, but against all odds, she doesn’t.
“Raven Van Heele and Sexual Heelers, I don’t believe in pulling out. In fact, I’m all in.” I pause for a moment to compose myself. “I want to go all the way with you, Raven. Sorry for all of you guys out there who actually wanted to learn something about the pullout method… but…” I get out of my chair and get down on one knee. Raven lets out a gasp and then brings her hands up to her mouth.
“Oh my god. Deuce! What are you doing?”
“Raven Van Heele, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
Epilogue
“Tiny! Where the fuck is my right shoe?”
“Hey, man. I’m yer best man, not yer slave,” my best bud says, pulling his jacket together and spinning around on his heel. They had to make his tux custom, due to his linebacker measurements. The only thing he insisted upon were Mama’s pink boots. As he struts the catwalk inside the hotel room, he strikes a pose, and I laugh. They do give his look a pop of color.
“You look fly as fuck,” I say, raising an eyebrow at him. “Especially, the boots.”
“Mr. Steal Yer Girl… in the flesh.”
I give his huge mitt a solid shake. He’s had my back for years. Literally. “Please don’t steal my girl.”
He waggles his bushy eyebrows. “I could. But I won’t.”
I pick up my shoe and put it on. I still can’t believe this is happening. Last night, I scribbled down some vows, but I’m pretty sure I might wing it. I’m not sure if improvising is a good idea, either. What if I screw it up, like really screw it up? But speaking from my heart can’t go wrong, can it?
“God, Tiny. I’m really freaked out, man.” The next thing I know I’m being put in a headlock. “What the fuck? What are you doing?”
“Best men, assemble!” All three of them charge toward me until I’m surrounded. “We all agreed that if you freak out and try to run away, we would stop you. With a noogie.”
“Tiny, what the hell.” I try to escape their grip. Ever since I confessed my love to Raven, I haven’t even looked at another woman. And the thought of touching one? I’d rather die. Besides, my soon to be wife is on the cutting edge of the sexual revolution, which translates to keeping everything fresh and fun. “I’m not going to run away, I’m just freaking out because I can’t find my fucking stuff.”
“Oh,” they all say in unison. Tiny lets me go and starts hovering around the hotel room, looking for my stuff. “All right, here’s your tie, I found your tie.”
“Good.”
He throws his arms above his head like he’s a human goal post. “And your missing diamond cufflink. Score!”
“All right. Now where are my vows? I can’t find my vows!”
He wrinkles his nose and takes a swig of his bottle of beer. “Woah, man. Never thought you’d be a groomzilla. Shaun, can’t you calm your brother down, for fuck’s sake?”
“There it is! Oh my god, don’t let it fly out the window!” I reach for the piece of paper, fold it in half and slip it into my pocket as my brother slaps me on the back. “All right, is anything else missing?”
“I don’t think so.” All three of them just stare at me with smiles on their faces. “So, how are you feeling?”
“Not freaked out.” Just kidding, I’m so freaked out. But not in that kind of way. I’m just scared I’m going to trip and fall at the altar, or read my vows wrong, or do something totally inappropriate like grab Raven and kiss her senseless once I see her in her white dress. “Guys, what if I screw up?” I ask, turning to my boys. “What if I can’t get it together? This is the rest of my life we’re talking about.”
A knock at the door snaps my head up. Tiny shuffles over to it and swings it wide.
Yelp!
“Well, aren’t you the cutest damn thing I’ve ever seen!”
He’s so huge I can’t see around him. “Move your ass, man. You’re like a toilet paper float stalled in the middle of Main Street.”
As I peek over his massive shoulder, I stutter to a stop. It’s a tiny Tugboat. Black and white with a bouquet of roses around its neck.
“There’s a note!” The hotel employee hands the dog over and it licks Tiny in the face.
I snap the pink vellum and try to hold it steady within my trembling fingers.
* * *
Deuce,
Just like the rare breed of roses attached to her collar, this new life represents our future together.
Our family.
Meet Caboose. I hope you and Tugboat love her as much as I do.
I’ll see you at the altar.
Don’t be late.
Love Always,
Raven
* * *
“Aw, Raven done got ya a puppy,” Tiny says, swiping a tear out of his eye. “That’s somethin’, ain’t it, Shaun?”
I hold Caboose tight to my pounding chest and she rewards me with a swipe of her grainy tongue. “Who’s going to take care of her while I get hitched?”
Shaun grabs her and carries her cradled in his massive arm. “I’ll take her. She can sit with Mom. You’re going to have your hands full with a new wife and two dogs the size of storage containers.”
Tiny raises his hand in the air. “We’re late. Are we ready to get married? I bet Raven’s already out there waitin’ on us.”
“Well, I’m pretty sure Raven has her shit together,” Wayne says, looking at me through the corner of his eye. “She is a PhD. Deuce, you are the poster boy for outpunting your coverage.”
“Guilty as charged. Raven always has it together,” I say, rather to myself. I look out the window and all I see is a lawn covered in white; white garden chairs, white roses, guests wearing summer suits and pastel dresses. The only thing missing right now is Raven, floating down the aisle in her big, beautiful, white gown. In my mind, she looks like a dark version of Cinderella. Ball gown all the way. Everyone has arrived, everyone is waiting for us. I can see heads bobbing, talking to each other, looking behind them.
I spot my mom and a tear creeps in to my eye so I blink it away before Tiny can get a hold of my emotion and exploit it for his own wicked sense of humor.
After I turned thirty and hadn’t met her, I started to doubt if I’d ever get that white picket fence life like my parents had. Kids. A Tugette. I never thought I would find the woman of my dreams right next door… and get her to marry me. The harder I look at all these people here to share in our joy, the more nervous I get. I adjust my cufflinks for one last time before turning around and heading straight for the door.
“Gentlemen, it’s three-twenty… you know what this means.”
“It’s showtime.”
As I stand in front of the pastor, I swallow down a lump of emotion. An usher seats my mom on the groom’s side and she smiles at me from her seat, Caboose sitting on her lap, eyeing the whole thing as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. With a little wave, I watch Raven’s bridesmaids waltz down the aisle with Tiny, Wayne, and my brother, Shaun. The best dog, Tugboat, hugs my right leg. A satin pillow rests on his back, containing Raven’s Tiffany wedding band. Her beauty takes my breath away.
