Illicit acollection, p.174
Illicit: A Contemporary Romance Collection, page 174
It’s not my choice to make.
He takes my shoulders in both hands and pushes me down until my knees hit the rough carpet. I offer no resistance. I know what he wants and I’m glad to do it. This is new territory, something I didn’t do the first time. He leans his back against the wall as we switch places, his cock lined up with my watering mouth.
“Taste yourself, Lexi. Taste how much you loved that.” He wraps his hands in my hair and pulls me to his length.
I swirl my tongue around the head to his groans of pleasure. My juices on his cock are salty and I lick, slowly bringing him into my mouth. Wrapping my hand around the base, I suddenly open my mouth wide and he plunges in, deep-throating me. I pull my head back when he goes too far and we fall into a rhythm that suits us both.
I haven’t had an endless amount of partners the way Jesse has but I have given head on a fair number of occasions, yet I’ve never enjoyed it more. Watching his expression as I take him deeper into my mouth again and suck sends a new rush of juices to my sensitive pussy. I want him in me again. I twist my head and suck to give him every possible sensation, and I’m rewarded with his head rocking back against the wall with an open-mouthed gasp.
“Jesus, Lexi. Just like that…”
His pleasure is mine and I squeeze my own muscles to increase the friction on my clit, gasping around his cock. He moves his hips, thrusting, and I relax my throat and open wide. Taking his balls into my hand, I gently squeeze them, and he thrusts faster. I try to pull back but his hands tighten around my head and he holds me in place, thrusting harder.
“I’m good for more than one. Swallow for me, baby,” he says, and hilts deep in the back of my mouth, his face contorted in the agony of release.
My throat works overtime as I swallow his load. I can’t breathe and force myself to stay relaxed, to let him finish. At last, I’ve drunk his last drop and he pulls out of my mouth. I collapse into a ball on my knees and then lay on my side, breathing hard.
He looms over me and I look up to find a cock that’s still more hard than soft.
“Damn, you’re hot,” I say between gasps.
He chuckles and leans down to place a hand on my knee. “You’re not so bad yourself.” He winks and I laugh. “Let me see you,” he says, and pulls on my knee to splay me open for his appraisal.
This is embarrassing, and I resist, but he insists with a firm hand on my leg. I roll over onto my back, my legs spread wide. I’m on display for him as he crouches down to have a closer look. Heat rises in my cheeks. “Jesse, please…”
“Quiet, Lexi. You’re beautiful.” He lightly runs a finger between my breasts, down to my stomach, stopping just above my mound. “Nice and puffy from a good fucking.” He circles my mound, tracing his way to my thighs and back again as I moan. My hands dig into the carpet but I can find no purchase. “But I think we can do better.”
Like a thirsty cat at a water dish, he buries his face between my legs and laps up and down the length of my clit.
“Oh god!” The sensation is too much to take. I’m already so sensitive from his earlier ministrations that I buck my hips to run from his assault.
He doesn’t budge, his hands clamping onto my hips and his tongue expertly delving into my folds and creases. He’s not slow or gentle. Instead, he works quickly to bring me to frenzy—a wham bam, eat you, ma’am—and I don’t mind one bit. In record time, I’m a gushing, breathless wreck crying out my ecstasy, babbling senselessly. He chuckles as he adjusts his position to take the tip of my clit between his teeth and bites down. I scream and jolt up into a sitting position, rocked by the hardest orgasm I’ve ever had, the pressure releasing from my center so unbearable that the room goes white for a second.
I feel faint and joyous, still shuddering as Jesse scoops me up in his arms and places me on the bed. I might as well be a limp rag, I’m so incapable of movement when he plunges his big, hard cock into me. The sensation of him filling me is so great, I’m at risk of blacking out.
“Don’t move, Lexi. If you move… I’ll stop.”
A moment of clarity has me marveling at him. He’s given me permission to just lay there and get fucked. Thank you. I try to say the words, my mouth making the motions but no sound comes out.
He fucks me hard and I don’t, can’t move, my limbs are so heavy. It’s all about him getting off now, and already more than sated, I let him use my body for his pleasure. I close my eyes, losing myself to the rhythm of his thrusts and grunts until he finally hilts deep in me, his cock pulsating. I open my eyes to see his face contort, neck muscles straining, jaw taut as his heat rushes into me.
After he catches his breath, he rolls off me and smiles. It’s sweet and boyish, not the sneer of the one-night-stand bad boy, and I smile back at him.
“I’d like to see you again, Lexi.”
“Are you kicking me out?” I say, teasing him.
“No, you wild animal. I want you to stay the night and I want to see you again after that.” He reaches up and pushes back a stray lock of my hair. It’s such a tender gesture that I have to blink back tears.
“Yes, I’d like that. Very much.” I’ve got him dangling on my hook now.
But I’m not so sure anymore that’s where I want him to be
.
6
Jesse
There is nothing better than great sex.
I laugh at myself as I get ready to head back to campus. I feel like a teenager who just lost his virginity. The sex with Lexi last night was that good. The way she so willingly responded to my directions. How my cock fit so perfectly inside her. How her eyes lit up when I pushed her onto her knees.
My cock twitches and grows. I don’t have time to yank one off now so I try to push the more explicit thoughts of Lexi away. It’s hard to do… and I smile like a twelve-year-old boy at the pun. Shaking my head, I adjust myself in my jeans. Better get my mind on something else.
Lexi left my bed earlier this morning. She had breakfast plans with her friends. I wanted her to stay but didn’t push too hard, not wanting to scare her off. I have to be realistic. All we had was a one-night stand, just like so many countless others I’ve had in this town. I don’t know if she wants more, even though she said she wanted to see me again. We agreed to meet up today at the lecture being given by the president of the college for the alum. No doubt that’ll be a snoozefest but if it gives me a chance to spend more time with her, I’ll take it.
This is different. As I step out into the brisk midmorning September air, I’m hoping to see a one-night stand again. In New Paltz. I break into a grin as I pick up my pace. Lexi and I both left our cars parked at P&G’s last night so I’m hoofing it back to campus. I never wanted to see a one-night fuck again before. It’s like I’m living a strange déjà vu. Maybe it’s vuja de, I’ve not quite been here before. Laughing at myself, I give silent thanks to my long-time therapist. I’d never be here today, racing eagerly to see Lexi if not for my therapist and I tackling the damage done to me by my mother. A woman who should never have been allowed to have children. Or marry, for that matter. No wonder my father drank himself into a stupor every night.
“Jesse… Jesse!” a female voice calls, my name followed by giggles.
Two women are ahead on the path that dissects campus, heading toward the Student Union, and I inwardly cringe. This happened a little too often when I attended SUNY New Paltz. Did I sleep with one or both of them back then? Guilt and déjà vu wrap around me as I slow, not eager to catch up with them.
To my chagrin, they stop walking and wait for me. I huff out a breath and lift an arm in a wave as I jog up the path. I did decide I wanted to make amends. Maybe this’ll be the first. Coming to a stop when I reach them, I’m confused when I don’t recognize either of them in the slightest. They’re both attractive, one blonde and one redhead, dressed in appropriate casual attire. Neither looks like the so-called skanks I was fucking back then—probably few of them were, or grew out of the phase that led them to be with someone like me.
The redhead steps forward, a smile on her face, and hugs me.
“It’s so good to see you, Jesse.” She breaks the embrace when I’ve barely managed to lift my arm to return it. Her bright eyes take me in. “You look great!” She motions to her friend while I stand there silently, like an ass. “This is Karen. She was my roommate. Isn’t this reunion great?”
Karen smiles, raising a hand and wiggling her fingers at me. I give her a polite nod then turn my attention back to the redhead.
“I’m very sorry but I… umm… don’t remember…” This is harder than I thought it would be. How do you tell a woman you probably slept with that you have no idea who she is?
“My name? Oh hun, don’t worry about it. I’m Kristen.” She smiles and pats my arm, leaving her hand there, and I honestly don’t know if she’s just being nice or coming on to me. Once an ass always an ass?
Glancing down, I spot a wedding ring on her finger and almost laugh out loud, realizing my old conceit was coloring my thinking. “Thanks. It’s good to see you, Kristen. I uhhh…” Just say it, you ass. Apologize. “Look, about when we were in college… I’m sorry if—”
She cuts me off with a bright smile and wave of her hand. “Jesse, don’t worry about it, okay? That was a long time ago. And, besides, you were so much damned fun. Hell, I don’t regret a thing.” She laughs, winks, and steps away. “See you around.”
The two continue down the sidewalk while I stand there for a moment, dumbfounded. I thought I’d ruined, irreparably damaged every girl I’d taken home and fucked. Guess I was wrong. At least in this instance, anyway. Still, why do I have the feeling the worst is yet to come? Inwardly shrugging as the path grows more crowded with students, I resume my walk to the SUB for my own lecture.
I spot Lexi sitting near the rear of the room when I arrive. She happens to turn her head and we lock eyes. She’s breathtaking, her face fresh and shining, with only a hint of makeup to accentuate her perfect features. She’s wearing another red shirt, some graphic design print with hints of black and gray. Red is definitely her color. She smiles widely and waves, patting the empty seat beside her. I ease into it and lean over to greet her with a kiss on the cheek. She turns her head at the right moment and our lips lock. Heat sizzles to my awakening cock. I want to grab her, pull her onto my lap and hump the fuck out of her.
Instead, as our lips regrettably part, I say, “Hello, again.”
Smiling, she rests her hand on my thigh and my cock twitches as if trying to bridge the distance. “Jesse, these are my former suitemates.” Three heads lean forward from the other side of Lexi and I nod to them. “Grace, Susan, and Lisa.” Lexi squeezes my leg and need hits me so hard I have to stifle a groan. This is going to be one long-ass lecture.
Leaning back into the auditorium-style seat, I drape an arm casually over Lexi’s shoulders. She smiles and gives my leg another squeeze as an older woman steps up to the podium at the front of the room. While she begins her prepared speech, greeting the alums and giving us a little information about the college today, Lexi bends her head to mine, her sweet breath hot on my cheek.
“I had a wonderful time last night,” she says in a low whisper.
“I know. You already told me this morning,” I tease.
She playfully slaps my leg then inches her hand a little farther up. “Well, I’m telling you again. The polite thing to do, you know, is to return the compliment.”
Moving my head closer to hers, I raise my hand and push the hair away from her ear. Holding the soft lock back, I speak directly into her ear, letting my breath do its job. “You were amazing and I want to do it again. And again.”
She shivers—my intended reaction—and turns so our lips are almost touching. “So it’s just about the sex for you, is it?”
“Nah, you’re a half-decent conversationalist too.” Jutting out my tongue, I quickly trace her lips before pulling back and turning my attention to the podium just as the president is being introduced.
Lexi gasps and from the other side of her there’s muffled laughter. I steal a glance at her friends to find their eyes glued on Lexi and me. The little vixens have been watching. I try and fail to hold in a chuckle. In another moment, all four of their heads are bent together, but little hisses of whispered words is all that reaches my ears. A smile plays on my lips. This could easily be any class ten years ago, the flirting and games all too familiar. At the same time, it’s different. We’re adults now and I’m playing for keeps.
This realization stuns me. When have I ever gotten so attached so quickly? Never, that’s when.
I glance down at the dainty hand with red lacquered nails caressing my leg and marvel at what this woman does to me. She doesn’t just harden my cock. She softens my heart. Inwardly, I groan at how sappy that is. Fuck, the consummate playboy has fallen far. Or, maybe I’ve finally risen and am ready for an adult relationship. I look to Lexi’s cascade of dark brown wavy hair and adjust my arm around her shoulders so I can sink my hand into it.
She turns to me with a warm smile and leans into my embrace. “We’re going to the college diner after this for lunch. Join us?”
“Sounds good,” I say, and we settle back to listen to the president, my hand massaging her scalp and hers pressed to my thigh.
It’s hard to concentrate on anything but her and I’m grateful when the president’s speech is over. I’m only vaguely aware of his plans for SUNY New Paltz’s future, renovations to a couple of buildings, and his delight at the continued growth and success of his students.
After the applause dies down, we stand and begin making our way to the aisle. I spot Simon talking to a few people and wave to him. In another moment he’s joined us, winking at me and making an obscene gesture when he notices Lexi and me holding hands. She frowns and I squeeze her hand in silent apology.
“Dude, we’re meeting at seven. You coming?” he asks, oblivious to his poor reception.
Reluctantly, I nod. “Yeah. The guys will all be there?”
“I confirmed with everyone except Frank. Poor sucker is laid up with the flu and couldn’t make it here.” He glances toward the people he was with. “Hey, I gotta jet. Text me if you’ll be late or whatever.”
“Yeah, sure.” He dashes back to his friends and I heave out a sigh. “He can be a royal ass but he was a good friend back in college. Sorry about that,” I say to Lexi.
She waves it off. “I understand. He still thinks he’s in college and you… well, you don’t.”
Laughing, I break free of the row we were sitting in and lead her out, heading up the aisle to the exit. “Would you believe he’s happily married?” I chuckle at her astonished expression. “I think he’s just trying to recapture crazy old times while he’s here. I’d probably be doing the same if I hadn’t met you.”
The words leave my mouth before I can stop them. What the fuck am I doing? I shouldn’t be telling her things like this so soon. It’s barely been twenty-four hours. Yet, I can’t deny what I’m feeling. If therapy taught me nothing else, it taught me to be honest. That playing games is not the way to go. Fuck it, I like the new me. I just don’t want to scare Lexi off.
We get to the exit and once outside, she pulls me to the side. Running her hand up my chest, she stands on tiptoe to bring her lips up to mine. I’m surprised by this but don’t let it show. Instead, I just enjoy the moment, kissing her back with a quick urgency. What finally pulls us apart is her friends’ laughter and fake huffing at the public display.
Lexi breaks away first, licking her lips. I smile, captivated by every move this woman makes, every syllable she utters. She’s unlike any other I’ve ever met. It’s a good feeling and also somewhat terrifying. Is she the real deal? Or will I be destroyed the first time I allow myself to be vulnerable to a woman?
Still holding my hand, she turns to her friends. “C’mon, let’s get to the diner. I’m famished.”
Her friends head off in the direction of the restaurant, and she pulls me along behind them. Eh, what the fuck? However it turns out, I’m going along for the ride. Unless it begins to look as though it might hurt my daughter. I will never, ever let that happen. That’s where I draw the line.
7
Alexandria
“He is so into you,” Grace says in a singsong voice.
Susan and Lisa nod their agreement as we follow the path to Crispell, our old dorm.
“He couldn’t keep his eyes off you,” Lisa says.
“Or his hands,” Susan adds with a snicker.
I try not to smile, to not let my heart sing. I’m not supposed to be falling for him too. I must keep my perspective. His comeuppance for how he’s treated so many women, like me, is long overdue. He has to understand that it’s simply not okay to use us then toss us aside. To break our hearts for no other reason than he had an itch to scratch.
“You’re nuts,” I tell the three of them, even as I sneak a peek at the text he sent a few minutes ago to say how nice my friends and lunch were. That he’s hoping to see me again tonight. “We are talking about Jesse James Kaufman, aren’t we? User of women and all-around douchebag?”
“Maybe he’s changed,” Grace says.
I snort. “Yeah, and I saw a leopard enter Bloomingdales and purchase a new set of spots.”
Lisa breaks into loud laughter and we look at her. When she settles down, she blinks innocently. “What? That was funny. A leopard in Bloomingdales.” She starts laughing again and the others join her.
I shake my head and pick up the pace. We signed up for a tour of Crispell at four and it’s ten of now. I marvel at how easily my sneaker-clad feet remember the way. I haven’t been here since graduation but I guess it’s like riding a bike. You never forget. So much happened here. Sure, I got my education in the classrooms of this university but it was the extracurricular lessons that burned indelible impressions into my brain. None more powerful than that one night with Jesse.
