“I do like that sweet baby girl. You ever gonna have kids, Kale?” Clem sounded genuinely curious. Lout slapped me on the shoulder and walked off while I thought of my answer.

  “I don’t know. That’s a lot of fucking responsibility. A woman around all the fucking time comes with the whole kid thing. Don’t know a single one I want around that much.” I took a swig of my beer and continued. “She’d have to be pretty fucking awesome to even risk it.”

  “Bird said Lisa found you an Old Lady in Utah. She pick her up at the mall or what?” Clem laughed at his own joke.

  “Nah. It’s the girl we took Lisa there to see. Her best friend. Lisa thinks we would be perfect together. I kinda feel bad for the girl, she’s got no one but Lisa and she’s been locked up for damn near a dime.”

  “Fuck. That’s rough.” Clem and I had both spent our fair share of time behind bars, so he knew what the girl was going through. “Don’t know what I would have done without Mom’s visits. Or Jenna’s.”

  I watched Clem move around the bar and place two shot glasses in front of our seats. He turned to the shelf and found a bottle of Tequila. He poured us both one and left the bottle on the bar before he came back around to sit down.

  Clem and I threw back our shots and I reached for the bottle to pour us another round.

  “Yeah. She’s not gonna be my Old Lady but she could use another friend. I told Lisa I would write her some letters. She’s got six months left. Give her some bright spots while she worries about her release.”

  “The last part of time inside creeps by. Sucks. She need money on her books? I’ll kick some in.”

  “I’ll ask about it. Let you know. Plan was for a bunch of us to go and get her when she gets out. Not sure that’s still on since they’ve got the baby. Maybe just us, no Lisa. We’ll see.”

  “I’d like a trip up there. Have an old friend in Salt Lake. She’s a wild one. Let me know what the plan is when the time comes.” Clem tapped his shot glass on the bar and got up from the stool. “Gonna find me a warm wet spot and then get some sleep.”

  I turned and watched my brother walk over to one of the pool tables at the edge of the room. He reached his hand around Denise, one of the brunette club wenches, and grabbed her tit. She squealed and dropped the pool cue before she followed him down the hall to his room.

  There weren’t many club members here tonight. Monday nights weren’t all that exciting anywhere, even at the clubhouse. A few of the guys were over on the couch playing a video game on the big screen. Lout was sitting in the recliner, his pants down almost to his knees, a club wench riding his lap.

  I looked back at the pool table and saw the blonde who had been playing pool with Denise put her cue down on the table and look my way. She’d been around a while; her name was Rachel. Mouthy woman, pretty good lay, great mouth. I crooked my finger and she walked my direction. I turned my chair around and she moved between my knees. Her hand instantly found my crotch and I smiled at her. She pulled at my belt and in just a few seconds she had me in her mouth. I watched her in action as I sipped my beer.

  Once I was finished and she swallowed my release, I handed her my half empty beer and moved my hands down to my pants. I situated myself in my jeans and zipped up, notching my belt into place. I patted her on the ass as I got up to walk to the door.

  “Thanks, babe. I’m headed home.” I heard a few voices yell goodbye right before the metal door slammed behind me.

  O=O=O

  I paused and grabbed my mail from the box at the end of my driveway. I put the stack of envelopes inside my cut before I pulled through the gate and directed my motorcycle at the open garage door. I saw the dogs shoot out of the house to greet me and smiled at their excitement. I stopped the bike inside the bay and shut off the engine. I dismounted and dropped into a squat so that I could give my dogs a greeting.

  I rubbed them both for a minute while I spoke nonsense to them. I had been gone so much I owed them a lot of loves.

  Rolo was the smallest of the two dogs. A Rottweiler, he tipped the scales at 115 pounds at two years old. His sleek black and mahogany coat felt soft as I rubbed him from his big head down to his nubby tail.

  Leon was quite a bit larger at 150 pounds. He had enough hair to make up for Rolo’s short coat. A Leonberger, he had a large mane around his neck like a lion. His face was mostly black, but the rest of his body was a mix of browns and blondes. He was a month younger than Rolo.

  Both dogs were rescue pups that the vet in town had brought to me, rather than take to the pound. She knew that with my size and temperament I would make a good ‘alpha’ for these two dog breeds. I was doubtful when she brought me Leon, but within ten minutes he and I were on the floor playing tug of war. I was hooked and made sure that he and I played together every day. Once I realized how smart he was I bought a few books and started training him to complete simple tasks. He seemed to enjoy our lessons, so I moved on even farther in his training.

  By the time Rolo came to us a few months later, I had Leon hunting down Prospects who were hiding around the property. He could search and alert me at their hiding place or he could retrieve and bring them back to me once he found them. Rolo caught on easily and was also a smart dog who liked it when we worked together on new tasks.

  I patted both dogs on the head as I stood up. “Give me a minute, boys. We can go in and have a beer.”

  I moved to the tool bench and reached into the drawer to pull out some latex gloves. Once they were on, I sorted through the bags. I took each tool out of it’s packaging and removed any stickers or identification before I dropped them into the new plastic tool box. Once I was finished I closed the tool box. I set it down on the lower shelf for the next time I needed a little help encouraging someone to give me all their secrets.

  As the dogs and I made our way to the house I heard voices, an argument was escalating, and I laughed as I unlocked the back door to go inside.

  Merlin and Scarlett were arguing again.

  I walked inside the house and took my cut off to hang it on the hook by the door. I took the mail out of the inner pocket and held it in my hand as I threw my keys on the counter that separated the dining area from the large kitchen. I pulled a beer from the fridge and opened it as I walked into the living room.

  There was instant silence. I looked over at the corner on my left and saw Merlin, the Amazon Grey Parrot sitting on his perch. The mulch on the tray under him was clean so I knew my roommate had been here not long ago. I stared at Merlin for a second, waiting on him to greet me in his usual way.

  “What do you want, asshole?”

  I laughed at him and turned to look at the perch on the other side of the room. Scarlett, a Harlequin Macaw, bobbed her head at me and mumbled “Asshole. Asshole. Asshole.” before she laughed loudly.

  I sat down on the middle cushion of the couch and reached to the table to grab the remote. I sat my beer on the coaster and leaned back on the couch. The dogs moved up onto the couch, one on either side of me. I sipped my beer as I flipped through the channels, finally finding a M.A.S.H. rerun.

  Once I was settled in, I flipped through the stack of mail. Bill, bill, coupons, flier for some rental shit I would never use, bill, letter addressed to Mr. Kale Jameson in distinctly female handwriting.

  Apparently, Lisa’s friend had decided to write to me after all. I tossed the rest of the mail onto the coffee table and took another sip of my beer. I ripped open the envelope and sat back to read.

  Kale,

  Hi. Lisa gave me your information in her last letter. She said that you told me to write first, so we could get to know each other since you were a shy person and didn’t know where to start.

  Thanks for this. Letting me write to you. You have no idea how good it is to get letters when you’re in a place like this. Lisa writes me so often that sometimes we run out of things to talk about, but I still can’t wait for the mail every day just in case there’s another letter from her.

  Your friend Zeke told me that when I got out they would come back and bring me to back to Texas with them. He mentioned that you had a motorcycle and maybe I could ride on the back. I have never been on a motorcycle before and think it would be a lot of fun. What do you like about riding one?

  Can you tell me about yourself? There’s really not much for me to tell you about me. I’ve been in here long enough that I’m not sure what the outside me will be like. I lost her years ago. I’ll find her again, though. I know it.

  Do you have a large family? Any brothers or sisters? What about kids? I assume from the way Lisa and Zeke spoke that you aren’t married.

  Do you have any pets? I always wanted a lot of animals, but my parents weren’t having it. I want to have big dogs and a calico cat. Maybe even a fish or a bird. Why not? It’s my imagination. I’ll take two of each, please. But let’s make the second cat orange like Garfield.

  What do you do for a living? I have my degree in accounting and also one in business management. I finished my GED in here and then took courses to get both of those degrees over time. I’m not sure I’ll ever get to use them. Does anyone out in the world want an ex con to take over their finances or their business? Probably not but they look good on paper.

  Do you hate cabbage as much as I do? What about broccoli? Any favorite fruits or veggies?

  Are you ready for me to shut up yet?

  Have a great day. Stand in the sunshine for a few minutes and breath the free air. I wish I was.

  Terra

  I read the letter twice and decided to go ahead and write this chick. She seemed kind of funny. A little all over the place, but prison could do that to a person. She’d probably enjoy a letter from me. Prison sucks and sometimes getting mail is the brightest spot of the day.

  I stood up from the couch and went into my office to find some paper and a pen. I went to the dining room and laid the supplies on the table before I went and retrieved my beer from the coffee table. As I passed the refrigerator on my way back to the table, I grabbed another beer.

  Terra,

  Well, hello from Texas. Lisa told me you would be writing me. I do know how good it feels to get mail from home. Been there, done that. I’ll write you as long as you want to hear from me. Probably even if you don’t. I’m kind of a dick like that sometimes.

  I think a road trip to come and get you sounds good. Yes, I have a motorcycle and use it every chance I get to ride it. I especially like a good long trip. It’s good to get out on the straight highway and just ride. Enjoy the scenery and the wind. Get a little sunburn and some windburn on your cheeks. It’s a great feeling. You are welcome to ride on the back of my bike when we come up there to get you.

  Family. Yes. I have three brothers and a sister. My brother Bird is the oldest. He’s four months older than me, almost 30 too. Then there’s me, my brother Clem is 27 and our youngest brother, Daughtry is also 27. Our little sister is Jenna. She’s a little younger than us, just now twenty. What about you?

  By the way, you probably saw up there, I am creeping up on 30. Turned 29 a few weeks ago. How old are you?

  I know what you mean about you don’t know who you are until you get out. It sucks. You lose yourself when you are inside. It’s hard to know what you’re gonna be until you’re positive you’re done and never going back. You’ll find yourself soon, kiddo. Count on it. Maybe if we get along I’ll help you find her.

  I’ve never been married and don’t have any kids. Maybe someday when I’m older. Never thought I would but in the last year or so the thoughts about having a family and settling down to meatloaf on Mondays with a wife and a couple of crumb catchers sounds better and better. Watching Zeke and Lisa with the little princess is really making me want something like that.

  What the hell is wrong with me? I’m not one to admit shit like that. I guess since you are there and I am here it’s okay. It feels like I am kind of talking to myself, so I guess I can admit that yeah, I’m jealous of the life they have now. Their little family. I bust in on it every chance I get. Lisa is cool. She never turns me away.

  I have two dogs, two birds and one cat, no fish. My cat isn’t calico, and it doesn’t look like Garfield. It’s a black and white asshole. You like dogs? That’s good. Doesn’t matter if you like cats. They don’t like anybody.

  My brothers and I own a few businesses here in town and I help with those. I run one of the businesses and work on security for the different places, staffing, that sort of thing. Zeke mentioned that you have an accounting degree. Send me your information on what you have studied, and I will give it to my brother Bird to look over. He hates doing the books and we can’t find an accountant who doesn’t get all sweaty and squeaky every time I ask him a question. You don’t squeak, do you?

  I hate cabbage. Can’t think of a single reason to put it anywhere near my mouth. It smells like feet. If lettuce had an ugly step-sister, it would be cabbage. Does a baked potato with all the fixings count as a vegetable? If it does then I am part vegetarian. I like to eat baked potatoes with my steaks. Did I spell that right? Is it Potatoes or Potatos?

  I like some vegetables, but fruit is the main thing I eat that didn’t moo in its past life.

  I like strawberries. In any way you can find them, strawberries are my favorite. I like fresh ones, of course. My second favorite strawberry would have to be the pink starburst pieces. Those are strawberries, right?

  So. Now you. Family? Vegetables? Steak? Do you like lobster? I actually like crab legs better than lobster. Which do you like better?

  I remember wanting to just sit in the sun until it went down with no one to tell me I had to come in. I can do that now. Soon you can too.

  Yippee Kay Ay,

  Kale

  4.

  O=O=O=O=O=O

  KALE

  I tossed the stack of papers on the desk and stood up, frustrated and ready to torch the place. The damn accountant couldn’t give me a straight answer on any of the questions I had asked him and now I wanted to find him at his house and choke him until his sweaty little head popped off his body.

  Paperwork was not my thing. Obviously.

  I muttered to myself, “Can’t wait for Terra to get here and take this shit over for me.”

  I walked over to the windows and looked down over the club I was working in this evening. The Glass Slipper. The first strip club our father had opened with the help of his best friend, Bill Duke. My eyes glanced over to the main bar. There, in the corner was the empty chair with a replica of Bill’s cut sewn onto the back, the Texas Knights logo visible from here. The full mug of beer that was replaced at the beginning of each shift sat untouched next to the ashtray that held a fresh cigar.

  As far as memorials go, that one fit the man perfectly. Almost every evening until the day he died he sat in that chair next to my father and smoked his stogie and drank his draft beer. Even after the cancer took over his body he still came in as often as he could. The last time he was in, three days before his death, we closed the bar and his son Sam carried his wasted body in to his seat. For a few hours we laughed and cut up while we all enjoyed one last round with our friend.

  As if my memory had conjured him up, I saw Sam winding around the tables on the floor, his girlfriend Carlie’s hand in his. They were headed my way. I waited until I saw that they were close to the door below me and buzzed them in.

  I pulled my phone out and sent a message to the senior bartender on staff tonight. Within minutes we would have a bucket of beer and a round of shots for my friends and myself to enjoy up in the office.

  The door opened, and I could hear Aerosmith’s Rag Doll from speakers downstairs as Carlie and Sam walked in. I walked over to greet them. Sam and I shook hands and gave a half hug before I bent down and picked his girlfriend up to spin her around.

  “You ready to leave this fool and run off with me, sweetheart?”

  “Not happening, handsome. He makes a damn good cup of coffee.” Carlie laughed as I set her on her feet.

  “In that case maybe I need to give him a spin.” We all chuckled at my joke as they took seats at the bar in front of the office windows.

  “My girl has a proposition for you.” Sam spoke up just as the waitress came in with our tray of shots and bucket of iced beer.

  “She already shot me down.”

  “No, silly. I want to ask you a favor.” Carlie moved to the side as the waitress sat her shot down on the bar in front of her.

  “Okay. Drinks first. Proposition in a second.”

  The three of us clinked our shot glasses together and took our drinks. I passed each of them a beer and sat on Carlie’s other side.

  “What can I do for you, darlin’?”

  “I want to learn to be a stripper.”

  I coughed a bit and almost spit my beer out.

  “Wait. What?” My eyes shot to Sam.

  “Not so I can dance here or anything. I have an idea for a book. I need to do some research on my main character. I think she’s gonna be a stripper. The best way to describe her life is to learn how to live it. Besides. I think if I learned some kick ass moves Sam might install a pole in our bedroom.”

  “Possibly.” Sam smiled at his girl. “Definitely.”

  “Okay. So what do I need to do for you? I can get a couple of our best dancers to come in before the bar opens and give you some pointers. We can have you back one night when we’re open and let you go into the dressing room and watch them get ready for their sets. That the sort of stuff you want to do?”

  “Yes! That’s exactly what I want to do!”

  “Done. Tell me the day. I’ll get you the girls.”

  “Well, there’s a little more to it. It started off as just research, but I was talking about it at craft night with the girls and they kind of want to learn how to dance too.”

  “They?”

  “Me, Lisa, Steph, Drea, Kari, Brenda, Sarah.”

 

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