Come fly with me, p.12
Come Fly With Me, page 12
‘I heard over the radio,’ said Maya, preparing for take-off. ‘But there was a person in hi-vis; I don’t understand.’
‘Oh the hoax caller was clever. It was a bloody scarecrow.’ Bess closed her eyes for a moment, a swear word leaving her lips. ‘I suppose at least they called HEMS and gave them the tip off. Otherwise we’d have been searching for a long time, in case the scarecrow was a coincidence and there really was someone out there in need of our help.’
Noah swore into the microphone and had a mini rant until he pulled himself together because the cloud was still rolling in and they had to get back to base.
The mood was sombre on board, none of the usual chitchat.
Maya was fuming too, although she kept it in during the flight back to base. The hoax caller had wasted their time and, worse than that, they’d put the crew’s lives at risk. Their lives were in danger every time they took to the skies. They did it for the good of everyone at ground level, put themselves in impossible situations, went out in all weathers even when it ramped up the danger level, and this was what people did for kicks?
Nadia was inside the hangar when they arrived back with long faces. ‘What happened?’ She wasn’t always in the office to hear updates so right now, she’d be assuming they’d lost the patient; that was what usually brought the grim return, the lack of banter between the crew.
Maya put her helmet on the shelf and filled Nadia in while Bess and Noah put the gear away.
‘Why do people do that?’ Nadia moaned. ‘I’ll report it. We’ve very little to go on but it doesn’t mean we ignore it.’
Nadia turned when they both heard Noah swear again as he went through to the kitchen.
‘He’s upset,’ said Nadia.
‘We all are,’ Maya replied.
‘He must have seen this before.’
Bess passed behind them. ‘Doesn’t make it any easier.’ She added in her own swearwords for good measure. ‘Whoever made that call had better wish I never find out who it was.’
‘Go to the kitchen, have some of the chocolate cake I made for us all,’ Nadia suggested. ‘You need a bit of comfort.’ She was good at watching out for her team at the airbase.
‘I’ll be in to join you soon,’ Maya told Bess.
‘And I’ll go and report the absolute arsehole who did this to you guys today,’ said Nadia. ‘I know HEMS were the ones to advise you it was a hoax but it won’t hurt to raise another complaint, will it?’
‘I suppose not,’ Maya agreed. ‘Thank goodness we didn’t get another job at the same time.’
‘Well, quite,’ said Nadia, hands on hips. ‘Not only could this prank have wasted my team’s time and compromised your safety going up in these conditions, it could’ve cost someone else their life.’
That was the reality of it. To whoever made the hoax call, it was a laugh, but in doing so, they could’ve killed someone.
The team occasionally got calls that weren’t really essential, but those jobs were assigned because it was deemed necessary by dispatch, who didn’t always have much to go on. And if it transpired the air ambulance wasn’t needed, it was no big deal; sometimes it was impossible to know how serious a patient’s condition was. But this was different. And Maya was reminded of how different it was when she went into the locker room and jumped when Noah slammed his locker door so hard, she was surprised the door survived.
‘I know it’s shit,’ she said softly. ‘But it happens. We all feel the same way.’
‘Yeah.’
When he still said nothing, she added, ‘There’s chocolate cake in the kitchen. I’m going to make coffee. Can I get you a cup?’
He turned around as if he hadn’t even been listening. ‘I’m sorry, what?’
‘Coffee. And cake.’
‘And that makes it all better, does it?’ His question hovered in the air until it fell to the floor as he slumped down on the bench next to the lockers, his hand back against the cold hard steel. ‘Ignore me.’
She thought about it. She thought about walking away but instead went over and sat down beside him. ‘I’m not sure about how things worked with your crew in London, but here in Whistlestop River, we’re in this together. You’re angry, so am I, so are Bess and Nadia. And I’m afraid here you have to talk about it.’
She waited for his reply.
‘Why do people do it, Maya? Where’s the thrill?’
Whoever had made that call had probably been watching from somewhere nearby to see their little joke played out when a helicopter landed and the critical care paramedics rushed over.
‘I wish I’d stayed back to find the little sh—’
‘I’m glad you didn’t,’ Maya interrupted. ‘You might have got yourself in a lot of trouble.’ He was fuming; she could see it in his eyes. But more than that, he looked devastated.
‘There were no identifying marks or labels on the hi-vis either.’ Noah’s fists tensed against the tops of his knees. ‘Fucking time wasters. I’d like to catch whoever did it and—’
‘Do not finish that sentence. Whoever it was isn’t worth you doing something terrible yourself, losing your job.’
He stood up, paced the locker room as though his anger had begun to simmer and then all of a sudden, it was on the boil again.
Maya decided to give him some space to process. ‘I’ll be in the kitchen cutting some cake, making the coffee. I know it won’t fix things, but…’
‘I’ll give it a miss, thanks.’
‘Well, you know where we are if you want to talk.’
Maya joined Bess in the kitchen and rustled up mugs of coffee. The sun streamed through the window as if the weather earlier had never happened at all. And as they ate their cake, drank their coffee, Maya thought about all the ways this job could get to you.
But she had to wonder whether there was more to it for Noah.
16
Geraldine saw to Eva while Noah got ready for Paul’s visit. He wanted this to go well; he wasn’t sure why he felt the need to impress, but he did. He wanted Paul to know that he was taking care of Eva – he might not be much good at it, but he’d kept his niece safe thus far. He wondered how Paul was feeling – nervous about meeting his daughter after all this time? Scared about coming face to face with Noah because of what he’d done to Cassie by walking out on her?
Noah opened up the packet of biscuits and put some on a plate as per Geraldine’s suggestion when he was to host a guest. He’d never done this before. Usually, it was a few beers, perhaps wine, takeaway if ever he had guests back at his apartment in London.
‘Tell me I’m doing the right thing, Geraldine.’
A kind smile formed. ‘Only you can know that, Noah.’ She had Eva in her arms, letting the little girl tug at her hair with fingers Noah was pretty sure were still sticky from her breakfast. ‘Now let me get this one cleaned up so she can meet Paul.’
‘Her dad,’ said Noah, stopping her from walking away. ‘And a much better one than I am.’
A weird look came over Geraldine’s face, perhaps because she wasn’t sure whether this was up for debate.
‘I’m a terrible dad,’ he went on, almost wanting her to agree so he’d know getting Paul to come here for Eva was what he should be doing.
‘Noah, do you think I was born able to be a mother?’
‘Er… yes. You’re a natural.’
At that, she laughed. ‘I’m nothing of the sort! With my first son, I gave him a bath at the hospital in one of those funny sinks with the slanted angle fit for purpose. He slipped off my arm and under the water. I felt terrible. He was this loud bundle of limbs, unpredictable, I had no idea what to do with him. I was a bit better with baby number two and by the time I had my fourth, I’d say that yes, I was a natural. It just took years of practice.’
She whisked Eva away to clean her up a bit.
Noah was nervous, which didn’t happen very often. He’d been nervous before exams, nervous when he started his new job, but this was a whole different kind of nervous, accompanied by nausea in the pit of his stomach and clammy skin. He put it down to this being way bigger than any piece of paper he could put to his name or settling in with a new crowd.
He stared at his reflection in the mirror in the bathroom, at the lines on his face he forgot he had now he was in his mid-forties. Cassie hadn’t been lucky enough to reach the forty milestone. She’d forever be thirty-nine, the blonde-haired, blue-eyed, beautiful girl full of smiles and laughter in the photograph he had pinned to his fridge and in the picture frame in Eva’s bedroom.
When he emerged from the bathroom, Geraldine had changed Eva into a beautiful little polka-dot top with pale-green velvety trousers with flowers emblazoned on the pockets. He wondered if she shuffled around the floor long enough on her bottom whether the design would wear off.
Eva held her arms out for him when she spotted Noah and his breath caught in his throat. It was the first time that had happened.
Geraldine’s voice was laced with emotion when she told him, ‘She knows you.’
Eva settled in his arms, her body rested against his chest. He felt her little breaths against his chin, inhaled the scent of baby shampoo from hair that tickled the side of his face.
When he looked down, she was smiling up at him. She’d been doing that more lately when she wasn’t grizzling about something and it would be easy not to notice it or think about it, especially when he was busy. But he was making an effort. Geraldine had told him the other day to appreciate the little things about Eva, not focus on the tiredness and the stress of it all, even if he wasn’t going to be her father long term. And right now, as Eva reached up and ran her hand along his stubbly chin, giggling at the feel of it, he realised exactly what she meant.
Geraldine had been watching them without him even realising. She hovered. ‘I don’t want to interfere, Noah, you know that.’
‘I also know that statements such as that one are usually accompanied by a but.’
‘What I want to say is that you’re doing all right, with Eva. It might not feel like it, but you are. You’re learning, both of you.’
Noah suspected she would’ve said more but there was a knock at the door that sent his heart racing. Eva turned her head to the sound, and Geraldine said something about gathering up her things.
Noah answered the door, the plunging sensation in his guts increasing ten-fold as he came face to face with the man who’d abandoned his sister and her little girl.
Paul wasn’t what Noah had expected. He’d pictured a rough and ready man, scruffily dressed, but here he was in a suit and tie, as though this might be the most important meeting of his life. Perhaps to him it was. And maybe that was a good sign?
‘I’ll leave you to it.’ Geraldine pulled her bag onto her shoulder, a wary look in her eye. She smiled at Eva and planted a kiss on her forehead. ‘Look forward to seeing you, little miss.’ And then to Noah, ‘Let me know if you need anything.’
‘Thanks, appreciate it.’ He closed the front door behind her and went into the lounge where Paul had already sat down.
‘Can I get you a tea or coffee?’ Noah offered. Eva’s little arms were around his neck in a way that was comforting but made this so much harder. It was as if she was clinging onto him for safety and right now, it felt as though his heart would rip in two.
‘I’ll take a coffee.’ Paul seemed shifty rather than nervous, or perhaps that was because Noah didn’t know him well enough to tell the difference. ‘Black, no sugar.’
Noah had expected him to ask to hold Eva, but he didn’t. Was he wary of being too pushy given he walked out on Cassie and their daughter?
Cassie had never said much about the situation with Eva’s father to Noah. She’d been upset at first, going it alone, but it was as though then she closed the doors around her little world of her and Eva and that was all that remained important to her. Noah had never pushed her for answers either because she blossomed as a single parent. Even on the days she said she was exhausted, she never stopped trying, never stopped smiling and taking in every little moment with Eva.
Noah delivered the cup of coffee to Paul. He’d made it one-handed, Eva well out of the way on his left hip, and carried the cup of hot liquid in his right hand, far away from her enough that if it spilt, it would only scald him.
‘Help yourself.’ Noah indicated the plate of colourful biscuits on the coffee table and sat on the sofa opposite the chair Paul had occupied.
‘That your mum?’ Paul asked.
‘Excuse me?’
‘The woman, earlier.’
The jerk must know that their mother had passed away. It wasn’t something you forgot easily. Through gritted teeth, he said, ‘That was the nanny. For Eva.’ He added Eva’s name because Paul hadn’t reached for her or even indicated he wanted to yet.
But Noah shouldn’t have wished for it because when Paul finished gobbling down a second biscuit, he stood and held out his arms. ‘May I?’
‘Sure.’ He had to do it but transferring the little girl to Paul’s arms went against all his natural instincts. It was harder than he’d ever imagined. What would it be like if this man took Eva for good?
Paul clearly had less experience with babies than Noah did. He was holding her but not engaging, he was tense, he was looking at her without much expression on his face at all. And Eva being Eva wasn’t going to stand for that. She started to grizzle, moved about in his arms like she wanted to jump out of them.
‘Maybe try sitting down with her,’ Noah suggested. ‘I’ll get her a teething ring; she’s having a tough time of it so that might help.’ Really all he wanted to do right now was take her back and tell her that he was there, everything was going to be okay.
He went into the kitchen and pulled the ring out of the fridge and for a moment, he stood with it in his hand, looking at it, this thing that got in the way of his leftovers, one of the rings he’d knocked onto the floor countless times. And yet it would feel wrong to not have it here now.
Oh, Cassie, why did you have to go anywhere? You were born to be a mother. I’m not sure I’m doing anything right any more.
He pulled himself together, went back into the lounge and handed Eva the ring. She looked on the cusp of losing it and that was the last thing they needed right now. At least Paul had sat down and Eva shoved the ring in her mouth, her breath calming at the distraction from this stranger who’d picked her up.
‘Did you have to come far?’ Noah realised he hadn’t even asked the guy where he was living. He could be in a squat for all Noah knew and he needed to be sure what future he was going to give Eva. It was all his responsibility now. And he wouldn’t lie, it was overwhelming.
‘Not really, I was already in Dorset.’ He wasn’t watching Eva. Every now and then, she looked at him, frowned and gnawed on her ring that little bit harder.
‘So you live nearby?’
‘Kind of.’
The guy was hard work. Noah pushed on. ‘Are you still working offshore?’
His head snapped up. ‘Not today.’
‘But usually?’ Noah had never been one to be thrown by a person’s obvious deflection in a conversation and when it came to Eva’s wellbeing, her safety, her future, he wasn’t about to be steered away from the important facts. ‘Aren’t you some kind of mechanic?’
‘Usually, yes.’ He still didn’t really look at Eva. Perhaps she reminded him too much of Cassie. ‘Sorry, this is all a lot to take in.’ His top lip was sweating; suddenly, he looked more uneasy.
Noah softened, but not too much. ‘I’m sure it’s all been a big shock for you.’
‘Yes… I mean, I never knew about Cassie…’
‘I had no way of contacting you.’ And to be honest, an absent father hadn’t been on his list of priorities when it came to saying goodbye to his sister either.
Eva had stopped fussing but when she dropped her teething ring and Paul made no move to pick it up, it was Noah who grabbed it, rinsed it off in the kitchen and brought it back to her. By which time she was getting fractious again.
‘I’m sorry, I’m new to fatherhood,’ Paul apologised.
For once, Noah felt like the professional parent in comparison.
‘So you’re still working?’ Noah asked.
‘Yup.’
It was painful trying to get information out of this guy. He’d seen the green sports car out front and his first thought – other than that it must have cost a packet, so the man was obviously doing all right for himself – was that it was totally impractical for a baby seat. Was there even any room in the back where Eva would need to go?
Noah smiled back at Eva when she grinned at him, waving her teething ring in the air. ‘When do you go back offshore?’ he asked Paul, suspecting Eva’s teeth weren’t hurting at all but rather she was protesting at this man who had no clue about anyone her age.
‘Dunno yet.’
‘Tell me a bit about yourself and your family.’ A bit of background would be good given he’d never heard much about the guy from Cassie. It might even put his mind at rest.
‘Not much to say, really.’ He handed Eva over as though she was a ball in a game and it was Noah’s turn. And then he asked, ‘How come Cassie gave her to you?’
‘It was what my sister wanted.’
‘So, the father has no rights?’
Now Noah found it hard to keep his cool. ‘Hard to give him any when he buggered off.’
Paul looked about to argue back but reconsidered. ‘I apologise. I’ve made some mistakes along the way.’
Noah took a moment to digest it. ‘And Eva… was she a mistake?’ With this little being in his arms, he felt protective.
‘I didn’t say that.’
‘Good.’ Noah paced across the room with Eva, more for himself than her. ‘Didn’t you feel guilty?’
Mouth full of digestive, Paul pulled a peculiar face, presumably to get the biscuit remnants out from his gums. ‘About leaving the baby?’
‘And Cassie.’
‘Like I said, I had things going on. Life. I didn’t plan to be a dad.’
