The power we hold, p.7
The Power We Hold, page 7
In her early 40s and single, and after years of pouring herself into work, Sylvia decided to pursue motherhood on her own. She found a sperm donor, started IVF, and after multiple failed attempts, she finally conceived. Her joy was unmistakable, and she shared the news with us earlier than she probably should have.
However, despite hailing her pregnancy as a ‘miracle,’ Sylvia didn’t carve out space to let her body soften into the shift. Instead, she stuck to the rhythm of spreadsheets and strategy meetings, juggling work, hormones, and hope. Her mother moved in to support her, but still, she pushed forward, trying to do it all. And then, she lost the baby.
Sylvia was convinced that her pregnancy terminated because she didn’t slow down; only in the wake of that loss did she take extended leave. And that, I believe, is the part we don’t talk about enough. When a woman is struggling to conceive, the first piece of advice she usually hears is ‘just go on holiday.’ Because, whether we admit it or not, we know that the female body cannot create new life when it’s contorting to fit systems that ignore its needs.
Our Cyclical Rhythms
But it shouldn’t take stepping away from your career to access your fertility. Our ancestors worked; they moved their bodies, tended the land, and raised children under extremely harsh conditions. But they also lived in rhythm with nature, in a community, and in cycles that honored the seasons. The problem is our environment, which ignores the inherent needs of female biology and penalizes the very rhythms that make us powerful.
Of all the ways our society’s systems disrupt women’s hormones, one of the most overlooked – and urgent – is that we are cyclical beings, forever changing and adapting, and yet we’re expected to live as if we’re linear and predictable.
Nearly two years after my reckoning at the World Economic Forum, hearing Sylvia’s story gave me the courage I needed to finally step away from the world of consulting to fully focus on healing my Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) – and begin living in alignment with my body’s true biological rhythm. That decision marked the beginning of a profound shift. As I began to sync with my own hormonal rhythm, I realized how deeply our cultural norms are modeled on a male biological template.
To understand why this matters, let’s look at the key differences between male and female hormonal cycles, both daily and monthly, and how they shape everything from energy and focus to stress, creativity, and rest.
Daily and Monthly Cycles: Men vs. Women
Men’s hormonal cycles are primarily driven by a 24-hour internal clock (the circadian rhythm) that regulates physical, mental, and behavioral changes throughout the day. Levels of hormones such as testosterone and cortisol peak early morning to fuel energy, focus, mood, and stress regulation, making men naturally optimized for productivity during the first half of the day.
As the day progresses, these hormone levels gradually taper off, contributing to a natural decline in energy and mental sharpness by evening. Notably, men’s brains also experience daily fluctuations, shrinking by about 0.6 percent by the end of the day and resetting overnight.1 This consistent daily pattern aligns well with a traditional 9-to-5 work schedule (surprise, surprise), which maximizes men’s cognitive performance and efficiency.
Women’s Hormonal Fluctuations
Women, on the other hand, operate on a dual rhythm during their reproductive years: the circadian rhythm, which regulates daily cycles like wake–sleep patterns, and the infradian rhythm, which governs the menstrual cycle.
Spanning an average of 28 days (though it can vary from 26 to 35 days), the infradian rhythm is anchored by two key events: ovulation (peak fertility) and menstruation/period (release and renewal). As the illustration on the following page shows, throughout the month women’s hormones fluctuate dynamically, creating distinct energy, mood, and cognitive shifts across four key phases: menstruation, follicular, ovulation, and luteal (premenstrual).
This means women are hormonally different from week to week, even day to day, with each phase likened to nature’s seasons: menstruation/winter; follicular/spring; ovulation/summer; luteal (premenstrual)/autumn.
Male vs. female sex hormone cycles
Inbuilt Feminine Resilience
The fluctuations during these four phases are far from minor. One study of 60 women found that brain activity in regions associated with cognition, emotional regulation, and stress response shifts significantly throughout the month, with some experts estimating the brain changes by about 25 percent,2 allowing women to harness different strengths at different times.
For both men and women, these rhythms provide natural access to masculine and feminine energies. Men’s steady hormonal rhythm supports consistent action and focus (masculine), while women’s dynamic monthly cycle aligns them with periods of productivity and creation (masculine) as well as reflection and receiving (feminine).
This is where more of women’s untapped power lies. Yes, men can learn this reflective capacity, but for us, it’s built into our biology. That’s why, throughout history, women were respected as pillars of community leadership.
Women’s cycles are project managers, checking in to tell us when something isn’t sustainable – whether it’s our diet, environment, pace, or the systems we live within.
It’s no coincidence that men who are married to women,3 or who have daughters, live longer (one study found a man gained 74 weeks of life per daughter).4 Women bring a natural understanding of the importance of rest that elevates the well-being of everyone around them. But of course, when our hormones are out of balance, it becomes harder to hear that wisdom.
Your Body, Their Business
For women, understanding these cycles isn’t only vital for personal empowerment – it also enables us to recognize how this intimate knowledge is being used against us. While researching for this book, I connected with several successful women in the FemTech industry who warned me that many of the most popular menstrual-tracking apps had sold users’ cycle data to marketing firms, often without clear consent or transparency.
For example, a 2019 report by Privacy International5 uncovered that popular apps like Period Tracker and Flo shared sensitive data with companies such as Facebook and Google, allowing them to target marketing campaigns based on hormonal fluctuations, pregnancy, and sexual activity.
It’s disturbing that while most women are never taught the full significance of their cyclical rhythms, capitalistic corporations monetize this biological insight. If we don’t reclaim this knowledge for ourselves, we remain vulnerable to manipulation, allowing companies to influence our decisions and behaviors through data they understand better than we do.
Seasonal Cycles
Men, too, suffer under our current linear model by being severed from their own need for rest. Practically every other mammal slows down, conserves energy, or hibernates during the winter months, yet in our infinite wisdom, we humans decided to maintain summer productivity standards year-round.
And when we inevitably struggle to keep up, we label it seasonal affective disorder (SAD) – a form of depression that typically occurs during winter – and treat it as dysfunction rather than honoring it as a signal to pause, restore, and recalibrate.
Women, often more attuned to the natural fluctuations in their mood and energy, are better equipped to recognize and adapt to seasonal shifts, while men often lack the frameworks or support systems to identify and address these changes, leaving them more vulnerable to burnout and emotional distress.
Life Cycles
Men typically experience just two main hormonal transitions throughout their life: puberty and a gradual drop in testosterone as they age (a phase called andropause). Meanwhile, women can experience up to eight – puberty, the reproductive years, pregnancy, postpartum, breastfeeding, perimenopause, menopause, and postmenopause.
Each stage brings shifts in the body and mind, helping women adapt to their changing roles and challenges while connecting them more deeply to their strength and purpose. For example, during pregnancy, the brain undergoes remarkable changes, including a reduction in gray matter in areas linked to social understanding and bonding.6 While this might sound concerning, it’s actually a fine-tuning process that sharpens maternal instincts, empathy, and social awareness, preparing women for caregiving and protection.
But these changes don’t stop at nurturing – they also boost emotional intelligence, multitasking, and collaboration.
Women’s capacity for physiological renewal also extends to menstrual blood and placental tissue. Once dismissed as shameful, dirty waste, they’re now emerging as sources of cellular healing and regenerative medicine (because, of course, women are a source of miracles). Menstrual blood, for instance, contains mesenchymal stem cells (MSCs) with potential for treating strokes and type 1 diabetes.7,8 Similarly, placental-derived stem cells have shown promise in wound-healing and neurological treatments.9
Suddenly, ancient practices don’t seem so strange. In Traditional Chinese Medicine, the placenta (zi he che) is often consumed to boost energy, support fertility, and restore hormonal balance. Likewise, Ayurveda regards the placenta as a life-giving substance rich in prana (vital life force), promoting healing after childbirth.
Menopause
Menopause is a final and profound recalibration. A ‘second spring’ that frees women from reproductive demands and redirects their energy toward new roles and purposes. In Traditional Chinese Medicine, this term speaks to a woman’s return to herself: no longer cycling outward but spiraling inward into wisdom, creative power, and sustained clarity.
Menopause is an evolutionary maturation – a rite of passage that our culture has pathologized, but which nature designed as a gateway to deeper power. One key biological shift is streamlining of the brain, a process that enhances focus, emotional resilience, adaptability, and problem-solving.10
These changes align with the ‘grandmother hypothesis,’ an evolutionary theory which suggests that menopause primes women to step into roles as mentors, nurturers, and system-shapers. This key role may also explain why women outlive men; their extended lifespans provide essential support, from caregiving to the transmission of knowledge, ensuring the survival and success of future generations.
For previous generations, menopause typically marked a time when children had moved out of the home, and many women were embracing the joys of becoming grandmothers. It was a natural transition into a new phase of life, often accompanied by a sense of freedom and space to focus on personal growth and well-being.
Today, the situation is very different. The increased sensitivity to cortisol that accompanies menopause offers women an opportunity to let go of what’s no longer serving them, to clear the clutter, and set stronger boundaries. Yet many women are navigating this transition while managing late motherhood, reaching peaks in their careers, or juggling households where their hormonal shifts often coincide with those of their teenage children. What they need is deep support and nourishment, not the added weight of carrying the heaviest possible load. It’s no wonder so many women feel overwhelmed and burned out.
Generational Cycles
When women aren’t supported in moving through these transitions, we all feel the ripple effects. Through mitochondrial inheritance – the transmission of mitochondrial DNA passed exclusively from mother to child – women carry and transmit the energetic imprint of their lived experience: from stress to nourishment, trauma to joy.
These biological messages shape how future generations adapt to the world they’re born into. When a woman lives without safety, under stress, her body cannot fully repair or replenish, and her mitochondria (the energy centers in every cell) carry that depletion forward. But when women are truly supported, with agency and reverence, an inheritance of burnout can become a legacy of vitality. We gift not only ourselves but future generations – a blueprint of resilience in a world that deeply needs it.
•••
In the next chapter, we’ll explore what it would look like to create new systems that not only support women’s biological design but also challenge the deeply ingrained structures that have limited our potential for far too long. It’s time to rethink our pursuit of gender equality, and what it takes to build systems that promote well-being and success for everyone.
Chapter 7
IT’S TIME FOR GENDER EQUITY
‘Women must learn to play the game as men do.’
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT
Our world isn’t broken, just unfinished – built on a system that honors only half of humanity’s story and half of its potential. Under less-than-optimal conditions (to put it kindly), women have adapted and contorted themselves to fit so well that across much of the developed world, young women are even starting to leave men behind.1 They’re excelling in education, earning degrees at higher rates, and increasingly balancing careers with caregiving, all while holding the emotional architecture of their families and communities intact.
This extraordinary feat is the result of a courageous and necessary effort to advance gender justice by focusing on equality, expanding women’s access to education and professional opportunities under the assumption that aligning with men in certain domains would help close the gap between genders.
But the scales remain uneven. Men still hold the advantage when it comes to economic power,2 while women continue to shoulder the bulk of unpaid emotional and domestic labor.3 And in a phenomenon called the glass cliff, women who have broken through the glass ceiling are often appointed to leadership positions in businesses that are teetering on the edge of failure, only to be blamed when collapse proves inevitable. Meanwhile, men glide upward on the glass escalator, advancing seamlessly, even in fields traditionally dominated by women.4
No country in the world has achieved full gender equality, and at the current pace, it could take centuries to close the gap. With 2030 looming as the UN’s global benchmark to achieve ‘gender equality and empower women and girls,’ we’re not just falling short, we’re actively losing ground in countries as diverse as the USA and Afghanistan.
And while it’s tempting to frame gender equality as a political or economic issue, it’s also deeply cultural and spiritual. Around the world, gender-based violence remains the ultimate expression of patriarchy’s fear of feminine power. Domestic abuse, femicide (the murder of women or girls because of their gender), coercive control, and state-sanctioned oppression are attempts to suppress the brilliance, autonomy, and embodied excellence of women.
From Equality to Equity
It’s not just women who are struggling – unfolding in parallel is a growing crisis of disenfranchisement among men. Many, especially those who are falling behind in education or employment, are gravitating toward reactionary ideologies and populist movements that promise restored control and identity in a rapidly changing world.5,6 This widening gender divide demands deeper questioning: What kind of progress are we really creating? And who is it serving?
In 2025, during an appearance on Joe Rogan’s podcast, Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg argued that our society needs more focus on masculine qualities: ‘I just think we’ve kind of swung culturally to that part of the spectrum where it’s all like, “Masculinity is toxic. We have to get rid of it completely”,’ he said, and then added, ‘I think having a culture that celebrates the aggression a bit more has its own merits’ and ‘a lot of men feel neutered and emasculated.’7
While Zuckerberg is right to acknowledge the discomfort some men feel in a culture that increasingly questions masculinity, it’s clear he’s missing the deeper point. In these comments, he’s conflating the demonization of toxic masculinity with a rejection of masculinity as a whole – suggesting we’ve gone too far by labeling traits such as aggression as inherently bad.
But this isn’t about erasing masculinity – it’s about redefining it. What’s being called into question isn’t strength or ambition but domination, emotional repression, and unchecked power. Of course, acknowledging this would require Zuckerberg to face the fact that his business, and the systems it supports, perpetuate toxic masculinity.
Recognizing Our Differences
As Dr. Robert Augustus, a psychotherapist and author who focuses on integrating masculinity in a healthy, balanced way, teaches, true masculinity isn’t about dominance or aggression. It’s about strength and depth, standing in integrity, and holding space for others, especially the feminine. It’s about being a protector, not a controller.8
Likewise, feminine energy isn’t weak or passive. It’s intuitive, creative, and attuned to meaningful connection – qualities that are not only powerful but essential in leadership, especially for those at the helm of global social networks. If we continue to cling to outdated definitions of masculinity and femininity, we’ll keep recreating the same broken systems: toxic workplaces, disconnected people, and a divided culture.
Leadership that blends strength with empathy, and action with reflection, isn’t just more effective, it’s what the world urgently needs.
Time and experience have taught me that chasing equality without recognizing biological difference doesn’t liberate women, it suppresses us. As the poet and activist Audre Lorde says in her book Sister Outsider: ‘It’s not our differences that divide us. It’s our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.’
