Jennifers surrender, p.27
Jennifer's Surrender, page 27
“You drive a very hard bargain.”
“Ok, the floor is yours.”
“Wow, um, all right.” I had to remind myself that I genuinely did have a say in things with Bill. I collected my thought as best I could. “Well, I wish the timing were different. I wish more time had passed between the end of what happened with Stephen, and what’s happening with you.” I paused to take a sip of my drink. “And I wish you weren’t my boss.” His face looked like he was preparing for me to give him bad news. “But all those things are true, and I can’t change them. And you’re right. We have both had feelings for each other for a long time. And we have waited to act on them. So the timing isn’t right now, but I’m not sure when it would be.” I took another sip.
“I like being with you, Bill. I’m worried about not being a whole person yet, but I don’t want to wait. If you’re willing to figure this out with me, and know that I’m probably going to freak out now and again, I’d like to stay. I’d like to try. I’d like to be with you.”
Bill broke into a huge grin. “Good.” He stood up and pulled me into a tight hug and held me there as I breathed him in feeling safe and solid. “Now, let’s make dinner.”
“Eating and cooking are big with you, eh?”
“Well, Jesus, woman, we fuck like teenagers all night, then I come home to find you naked in my pool, and hey, what’s a guy supposed to do? So, um, yeah, I’ve worked up an appetite with you.”
“I guess we’re going to have to keep it up to make sure we burn off all these calories!” I said and he playfully slapped my ass as we made our way into the kitchen to cook like a normal couple.
Sunday night I was a ball of emotions.
“You sure you’re ready to come back to work?”
“Yes, I’m sure. Of all the things, I’m sure of this.”
“What aren’t you sure about?” he asked hesitantly.
“This time with you has been incredible…”
“But?”
“But I’m worried that I shouldn’t be here. That I should be home, standing on my own two feet, not depending on you, on a man. I know you’re not him, Bill. Honest. I’m not comparing you. I’m talking about me getting lost in another man.”
“Do you think that it’s possible that you do need love and support and caring right now?” I nodded. “And that it doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human, you know that, right?” I nodded again.
“Look, Jen, I want to make sure that I’m not forcing decisions down your throat. After everything, I realize how important it must be for you to prove to yourself that the decisions you’re making are your own. So it needs to be your choice where you stay. But here’s what I know: I don’t think you’re ready to be alone just yet. It’s only been a week. I’m worried that you’ll crawl back into your bed and not come out. I know you’re strong, but I can’t help but want to be the one there to make sure you’re 100%.”
I opened my mouth, ready to speak, but he shook his head, he wasn’t finished. “So that’s all you, and your choice. But let me tell you about me, and this is selfish, I know, but I’m going to tell you anyway. I got to where I am by taking what I’ve wanted. By working hard and doing whatever it took to succeed. There is one thing, one, that I didn’t go after in life. And that’s because bosses can’t ask their employees out. So I didn’t. I became a mentor, and a friend and a boss instead. And I was willing to sacrifice that so long as I thought you were happy elsewhere.” He pulled my hands into his lap. “Jen, I do hold myself responsible for what happened. If you and I had been together, you never would have gotten hurt. I know I can’t change the past, but I can change the future. I’ve wanted to be with you for years. You being here makes me happy. So, there you have it. I’ve sunk to using guilt in hopes that you stay.”
I had tears in my eyes, but I tried to make light of it, “Guilt and amazing sex. You really should be ashamed of yourself.”
“I’m glad you feel that way. Speaking of, I heard from the Russian judges. They were very disappointed we only got to seven the other night. I explained that if we could have another chance, we’d show them our dedication to the, uh, sport.”
“Well, you know I hate to disappoint…”
CHAPTER 33
It was good to get back to work and be able to focus on something other than relationships. Bill and I agreed that the story was that I had a really bad flu, so I got a lot of people asking me how I was feeling. I felt bad for lying, but I guess the truth was that I was feeling a lot better. It just had nothing at all to do with the flu.
I finally went through my cell phone messages. Most were from Bill. There was one from Stephen. Just hearing his voice made me shudder. The message was typical Stephen, “Jennifer, I know you’re confused. I know what you need, little bird, but you have to trust me to give it to you. I can’t help you if you run away. Call me.” I hate to admit that part of me believed him. A small part of me doubted myself, wondered if somehow, I might have misconstrued what happened. Because if he had seen it as wrong, he wouldn’t have left that message. But when I replayed what happened, I could see how brainwashed I had become.
I saw that he had called a couple of times on my work phone, but didn’t leave any messages, for which I was grateful. I knew I couldn’t just erase him from my past, but the fewer reminders, the better.
I was surprised how well Bill and I were with each other in the office. I guess because our relationship started out work-based, it wasn’t weird to be all business with him. Having been gone from the office, both of us were busy, so aside from the staff meeting, I didn’t really see him until I got to his house that night. He had given me a key that morning, and I left work before he did, so I decided to make dinner. When he walked in, he had a huge, devilish grin on his face. He dropped his bag and coat and stalked towards me, grabbing me and pushing me up against the counter. He pushed my hair to the side and bit my neck. I squealed. He whispered, “How long till that’s ready?” as he kept nibbling at my neck.
“Um, um, five, maybe ten minutes?” I said between panting. He had pushed himself between my legs and I could feel his erection grinding into me.
“Mmmm, good. Let’s get these off.” He mumbled into my neck as he was undoing my jeans and I squirmed out of them. He turned me around, bent me over the counter and I heard him undo his zipper. He rubbed the head of his cock against my wetness and then slid in as we both moaned. “God, Jen, I can’t tell you how many times today I wanted to walk down the hall, close your door, bend you over your desk and fuck you just like this.” He growled in my ear as he slid back and forth into me.
“Just today?” I giggled, which earned me harder thrusting.
“Naughty, naughty, girl. We’re going to have to make up for lost time.” He breathed into me as his thrusts increased.
“Whatever you say. You’re the boss.” I said as I grabbed onto the counter harder, as he ground his cock into me. It didn’t take me long to start feeling my orgasm rising, “Oh Bill, oh, oh, oh, ooooohhhhh…” as my legs started trembling, Bill came too.
We panted together and then he pulled out of me, turned me around, pulled me into a hug and mumbled, “Hi honey, I’m home.” I giggled into his neck as he tenderly kissed my neck, both of our pants still around our ankles.
“I had no idea stir-fry could be such a turn on.” I said when he finally let me go, stepping out of his pants.
“Yeah, it’s the stir-fry that got me all worked up. Not the beautiful woman in my kitchen. Definitely the bok-choi.” He winked. “I’m going to change, I’ll be right back.” He leaned in, kissed my cheek and then turned to go. When he came back, I was dishing out the dinner. I decided against putting my pants back on, so I had my top on, but was naked from the waist down. He took one look, grinned and shook his head. “I can’t keep up with today’s fashions, but I gotta tell you, this look, this one’s a keeper.”
We sat down and he asked, “So, how was it being back in the office?” we talked easily about the day and work for a bit.
I admitted, “It’s hard for me to believe that a week ago I was in the fetal position on my bed, and now I’m here.” I got quiet, and he waited. “I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t scare me that I’ve jumped into this, with you, so quickly.” He nodded. “But I’m not going to kick myself for doing what feels good. And being here, with you, feels good. Really good, Bill.” I waited to see if that scared him. Instead, he grinned, put his chopsticks down, leaned over and kissed me tenderly on the lips.
After all the fiction I had read, I couldn’t help but think that my life, my recovery was reading like one of the many romance novels I had read. Everything was falling too neatly into place. The pieces were picked up. Everything was perfect. Far too perfect. I had been a damsel in distress and my knight in shining armor came along right on cue. It couldn’t possibly be this easy…
Call it naiveté, blind faith, or wishful thinking. I guess I should have known that someone who enjoyed humiliating, controlling and inflicting pain on others, someone whose need to dominate defined their existence, someone like that couldn’t possibly let go so easily.
I was getting back into the swing of things at work, and starting to develop a routine with Bill. I knew I couldn’t stay at his place forever, but it was so nice being there, I didn’t want to go home. Not yet.
It was Friday, the end of my first week back at work. Bill left early for a client meeting and I was looking forward to another nice evening at home with him. Most of the office had cleared out as we had unofficial “summer Fridays” which basically meant, if you got your work done and there were no pressing deadlines, you could leave by the afternoon. But, given that I’d been gone the week before, I still had some things to take care of. I was finishing up when Stephen walked into my office.
“Jennifer.” He said as he walked in and closed the door. I could feel all the blood drain from my face as my heart started pounding. Interesting how my reactions to this man could change so quickly.
“Si- Stephen.” It was physically hard to say his name, and I had faltered at first but once I did, it registered with him. His one eyebrow raised upon hearing his full name come out of my mouth. “What are you doing here?”
“I’ve come to see you, of course.” His tone sounded more than just his usual ‘Dom’ voice. It sounded sinister. I couldn’t say whether it really had changed or if it was just my reaction that had.
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
“Well, I’ve called, I left messages, I’ve stopped by your apartment. You’ve left me no other choice.”
“My choice is I don’t want to see you.”
He laughed lightly. “Little bird, I’ve told you before, I take my responsibility as your Master very seriously. I know what’s best for you.”
“You’re not my Master.” I hated that my voice shook, and I knew he heard it too.
“Of course I am, and clearly, you still have a lot to learn about submission. I’ve given you time to reflect on what happened, and now I’m ready to resume things.”
I heard my cell phone buzz. And buzz. And buzz. As I started to reach into my purse for it, I bent down under my desk and suddenly, he was on me. His hand grabbed mine, pulling it away before I could get the phone and he shoved me back into my chair. “I really thought I had taught you better manners, Jennifer. Perhaps I’ve been too lenient on you. I thought this might be a problem.” I started to push against him to get out of the chair but he put a knee over my lap and rested all of his weight on it so I couldn’t move.
“Stephen, let me go. I’m not your submissive anymore.”
He laughed out loud. “You see, little bird, that’s not really your call. I call the shots in this relationship.”
“There is no relationship!”
There was an intensity in his eyes that told me he really had no intention of letting me go. I pushed against him again and he hauled off and slapped me. Hard. I was shocked. It took me a moment to register what was happening as I saw his hand go into his pocket. As if in slow motion, as I opened my mouth to start to scream, he pulled out a ball-gag and shoved it into my open mouth, tightly holding my jaw as I fought against it, but he knew where to push. I grunted and tried, but to no avail, it was in. Still sitting on top of me, he fastened it behind my head. As I reached back to try to unfasten it, he grabbed both of my wrists with one hand, holding them tight.
“Much better. Though I’m very disappointed in you, little bird. Perhaps this will teach you what real submission requires. I thought you had it in you to just accept what I gave you, but I guess I gave you too much latitude from the very beginning.” I tried to speak but they were just grunts coming out. The ball tasted like rubber and I could feel drool dripping down my chin. I twisted, trying to get out from under him, but he was too heavy, too strong. I heard my cell buzz again.
Practically sitting on top of me, he pulled my arms down and tied them together behind my back. Then he actually sat on me, so his back was to me and leaned over tying each leg to the leg of the chair. I was screaming behind the ball gag and trying to squirm, but it was futile. I was literally bound and gagged.
He stood up, smoothing his clothes out and looked me up and down and smiled. “I know how you like to be restrained, little bird. Perhaps now you’ll calm down and behave better.”
I tried to calm my breathing for two reasons. One, I had no idea what to expect and I figured I should save my energy in the event that I’d be able to use it more productively later. Two, I thought perhaps he’d go easy on me if he thought I was submitting to him.
I got my breathing under control and he smiled, smoothing hair on my forehead. “There you go, little bird, relax. You know I take such good care of you.” Then he scanned my desk. I couldn’t imagine what he’d be looking for, but when he landed on it, he smiled again, lifting the scissors out of the pen holder. “You know I prefer you naked, Jennifer.” He said as he took the scissors to my sweater cutting up one side on the outside of my left breast and then up the right side, outside my right breast, pulling the front off since my arms were bound behind my back. He snipped the center of my bra, popping it open, but the cups still stayed molded to my breasts, so he snipped the straps and then the sides. As often as I had been comfortably naked around him, I suddenly felt completely exposed and horribly helpless.
I heard my cell buzz again and Stephen looked at me, “Seems like someone is very interested in getting a hold of you.” I prayed he wouldn’t look at the phone. I knew the calls must be from Bill wondering where I was and why I wasn’t answering. If Stephen knew I was with Bill, there’s no telling what he might do. I arched my back trying to draw his attention back to me and away from the phone. It seemed to do the trick. I knew my nipples were hard, not from excitement but from fear and adrenaline. He mistook it for arousal.
“See, little bird, I knew you’d enjoy this, you just have to trust me.” He still had the scissors in his hand and he started slowly, gently tracing my nipples with the pointy end. Closed, the scissors weren’t much of a threat, unless of course he was planning on plunging them into my chest… The chill of the metal and my general fear increased my heart rate, and my breathing was starting to become shallow, another sign he mistook for arousal.
He took his time slowly tracing around and around and around with the scissors. It was like he was becoming mesmerized by it. Then my work phone rang. After a couple rings he reached around the back and unplugged it.
He set the scissors down and stood over me, his legs straddling mine, his crotch basically at the height of my head, the bulge in his pants obvious. He placed his hands on my breasts and started fondling them. I tried to hold back my tears, but I no longer could as he stroked my skin and pinched my nipples. “Shhh, shhh, don’t cry little bird. I know you’ve missed me too.” He said, almost tenderly.
Keeping one hand on my breast, he used his other hand to unzip his fly and pull out his completely hard cock. I know my eyes widened and he chuckled, “Still intimidated by its size.” He said idly, as he started to stroke himself. The tip was inches away from my face and I could figure out what was going to happen next. I thought, if he makes me suck it, I could always try to bite it off, but I’m still bound here.
I had always enjoyed watching a man stroke himself. There’s something so erotic about it. Usually. Not this time. Now, it just felt threatening. He was gripping it tightly, starting to increase his rhythm, as he spoke, “You are so beautiful, little bird. Even more so when you’re tied up and helpless.” He wiped the precum on my cheek, and then dragged the head all over my face. My mouth was still gagged, which, at this point, I saw as a good thing, though I assumed sooner or later he’d be fucking my mouth.
He dragged the tip along my chin and around my mouth, “See, little bird, you’re drooling you want my cock so badly, isn’t that right?” I nodded, not wanting to upset him. He smiled. “Still a greedy cocksucker I see.” And I could feel my face flush with anger, which just made him happier. “Perhaps I’ll just come all over your face.” He kept stroking it and stroking it, the veins seemingly becoming more prominent, the color changing as he jacked himself off an inch from my face. Every now and then he’d wipe the tip on my face or my lips, enjoying marking me, and then go back to stroking it. I alternated between staring at it and up at him. He seemed to be in his element, lost in his own moment and I sat there wondering how this would end. Thankfully, I didn’t have to wonder any longer as my door flew open.
Bill took one look at me, and then at Stephen who was literally holding his dick in his hand and said, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
“Just teaching Jennifer a little lesson.” Stephen said, oblivious to the role changes.
“Get away from her.” Bill growled. Stephen took a step back so that he was no longer straddling me and shoved his cock into his pants. He smoothed his clothes and collected himself.
