Ruff start, p.3
Ruff Start, page 3
I threw up my hands. I couldn’t help but feel like I’d been swept up by an avalanche named Sawyer and that there was no escape. “I’ve been a little busy. And yes, I like to read.”
“It’s settled then. Pick you up at six.” Sawyer turned on his heels and was gone while I was still blinking stupidly at where he’d been standing.
“What the heck just happened?” I said out loud.
“Sounded to me like you got asked out on a date,” Shane said, making me jump. I forgot he was there.
“I can’t date a volunteer!” I groaned and slumped against the wall. “I’m like his boss. Besides, what will I do with Bubblegum?”
“Take her with you,” Shane said as if it were obvious. “But you are going on that date.”
“Don’t I get a say in this?” I huffed, and Shane laughed.
“Nope, because I happen to agree with him. You work too much. Plus, I saw your little photoshoot. How many of the pictures you took actually focused on the cats?”
My ears burned. “Enough.”
Chapter six
The Sheepdog
Sawyer
I arrived back at the shelter at five minutes to six. Shane was walking a couple out who held the leash of the fluffy golden dog Neil had tried to sell me the other day. I backed away to the side of the lobby, clenching my hands as the group walked past. Shane waved at me but didn’t stop, for which I was grateful.
The noise of dogs barking in the pod had almost become background noise after dealing with it this morning for hours. Maybe there was something to the therapist’s instructions.
Figuring I was basically an honorary employee as a volunteer, I went through the employee-only door and up the office stairs. Neil’s door was open, but he was head down at his computer and didn’t seem to notice me. I knocked on the open door, and he glanced up, widening his eyes.
“Heck, is it that late already?”
“Bro, what’s with the alternative swearing?” I leaned against his door frame and folded my arms.
Neil flushed. “Give me twenty more minutes to finish this—”
“No, we have reservations.” A total lie. Boardwalk Books and Bites was a walk-in place. But I got the feeling that without a hard deadline, I’d never be able to pry Neil out of here in a timely fashion.
“Ten—”
“Reservations.”
Neil huffed. “Fine. Let me save this, and we can go. And I want to make clear this is not a date. You’re taking me out as a friend.”
“That’s fine, bro,” I said, trying to sound upbeat, even though hearing him be so adamant about not going on a date with me plummeted my mood.
Neil flipped the laptop closed and then picked it up. “Hey, put that back!” I frowned at him.
“It’s my laptop,” he protested.
“You’ll be fine without it for one night.”
Neil rolled his eyes and set the laptop back on his desk.
A furry bundle near his feet that I’d thought was a rug heaved to its feet. The sheepdog that I’d seen Neil walking that morning.
My heart went into my throat, and I panicked, screaming and falling backward to my ass.
“I’m so sorry she startled you.” Neil flushed and grabbed the dog before it could reach me.
“No problem,” I stammered, getting to my feet and pretending to brush myself off so I could stop my hands from shaking as I stared at the dog Neil held at bay.
“She just wanted to say hi. She’s very friendly. See the wagging tail?” Neil said as if I was going to look.
“Um, I’m sure.” My voice broke. “I’ll just go wait in the car while you put her back in her kennel.”
“Wait, Sawyer, are you afraid of dogs?” Neil asked, his voice hesitant.
I groaned and put my face into my hands, sinking down to sit on the top step. “Is it that obvious?” I mumbled into my hands.
“Honestly, yes.” Neil paused. “Wait here, I’ll be right back.” Steps retreated away from me, a door shut, and slowly footsteps came back. I scooted to the side, and Neil plopped down next to me. “I’m sorry I didn’t notice earlier. I’ve been a bit up my own ass.”
I bumped his shoulder with mine. “You’ve been busy, and I was trying to hide it.”
Neil huffed out a laugh. “Want to tell me why you wanted to volunteer at an animal shelter when you’re afraid of dogs?”
“I’m sorry about the dog thing,” I admitted, but I wasn’t about to tell him that I’d volunteered here solely to flirt with him.
“It’s no big deal.” Neil gave me a grin, and I appreciated that he didn’t call me on not answering his question. “And hey, if you still want to volunteer, I have an ‘in’ at the shelter and get you assigned to only the premium cat-based assignments.” He laughed at his own joke.
“You don’t have questions about why?”
“You can tell me when you’re ready.” Neil rapped his hands on his legs. “We all have secrets.”
“Thanks.” I let out a relieved sigh, and the muscles in my jaw relaxed, knowing that Neil was giving me space. “Does that mean you, straight-laced Neil, have a secret too?” I joked.
“Yes,” he said in a deadpan.
I waited, but more was not forthcoming. Maybe if I opened up more, Neil would too. “I was at the shelter because my therapist thought it would be good for me to have some contact in a controlled setting.”
Neil nodded, a smile tugging at his lips.
“You can hear the barking from the parking lot. Took me almost ten minutes to work up my courage to come inside that first time,” I said. “It was easier today, knowing I’d be getting to see you.”
“I’m glad you did,” Neil said in a low voice. I wasn’t sure if he knew I could hear him or not, so I didn’t respond. After a moment of silence between us, he said louder, “Sorry about steamrolling you into volunteering.”
“Don’t put this all on yourself. I could have said no.” I laughed, and it didn’t even feel forced.
“Why didn’t you?”
My face flushed, and I turned to look out the window. “You know… reasons.” Oh, god, smooth, Sawyer, smooth.
“So you want to keep volunteering?” His voice had a hopeful upward lilt at the end. Adorable.
Did I? Even working with the cats, I’d have to put up with the barking from the dog pods. On the other hand, it would be more of the exposure that my therapist was urging me to try. Plus, the bonus of getting to continue to work with Neil. “Yes, I do. My therapist wanted me to do exposure sessions at the shelter weekly anyway.”
The ten-thousand-watt smile Neil gave me would be worth every bark I’d have to endure. “Excellent.”
Speaking of my therapist, I hadn’t seen her yet since my first visit to the shelter. This was going to be quite the weekly session tomorrow. I hoped she’d be proud of how much progress I’d made in such a short time. Winning at therapy—something normal to want and possible to achieve.
Chapter seven
Guilty as Charged
Neil
Sawyer’s behavior in the shelter this morning snapped into focus. I’d been so nervous, wound up about this new job, and not wanting to make a fool of myself in front of a hot guy. Still, I should have noticed. He’d been cringing away from the cages as I walked him around the dog pod last Thursday and wincing at the barks. At the time, I’d thought it was just because they were loud, bouncing and ringing off the concrete walls.
A low scratching sound had me twisting around to look at my closed office doors. “On a scale of one to ten, how afraid of dogs are you?” I asked, turning back to Sawyer.
Sawyer hummed to himself and winced as Bubblegum barked, indignant at being kept from two people who could pet her. “An… eight?”
“Ouch.” I bit my lip. “So, I take it bringing a dog on our dat—dinner is out?”
“Tonight? Why?” Sawyer’s eyes grew wide as saucers. “Wait… you have a dog? And you bring him to work with you?”
“Her, and yes. Guilty as charged.” I held up my hands. “But only one. The second dog isn’t mine. I was watching her for some adopters while Shane helped them finish the paperwork.”
“Shit.” Sawyer slumped again.
“How about this? I go drop Bubblegum at home and meet you at a restaurant. We might be a little late for our reservation, but…”
“Bubblegum? What a cute name…” Sawyer shook his head. “Anyway, there’s not a reservation. It’s more of a walk-in type of place.”
I snorted. Figured. He didn’t really strike me as a reservation type of guy. “Boardwalk Books and Bites, yeah?” I said, standing up. “I’ll meet you there. Give me about half an hour?” My little Princess could entertain herself for an evening. I deserved a night out with a hot guy, dang it, even if it was just as friends and not a proper date.
“Sure, yeah, I’ll see you there.” Sawyer gave me a thumbs-up and got to his feet.
I waited to go back to the office until he was out of sight.
Reflexively, I picked up the laptop and put it in my bag when Sawyer’s words came back to me. He was right. I didn’t need to take the laptop home every night. It’d be safe enough here in Arthur’s office. I snapped leads on Bubblegum and the shelter’s anxious sheepdog, returning her to her kennel.
Bubblegum whined a bit when I left, as we’d already gotten into an evening routine of her cuddling with me on the couch as I worked on the laptop. I steeled my heart against her cries, but guilt still gnawed at me as I drove off.
Cute as Sawyer might be, I was glad this wasn’t a date. I couldn’t see a long-term future with someone who couldn’t be around my special girl. A short-term fling, maybe, although I’d never been good at casual; I got too attached.
Chapter eight
Always be Prepared to Visit the Beach
Sawyer
I beat Neil to the boardwalk since he had to take a detour to drop off his dog. I stayed in the car, since there were multiple dogs on the beach, and sketched in the pad I kept in the glove box.
Neil pulled up a bit later, getting out of a tiny beat-up pickup truck that was half rust. Not what I had expected him to drive, that’s for sure. The car was so old he manually had to roll the window back up with a hand crank. I wondered if it even had AC. The interior pleather seat was cracked and repaired with duct tape.
His business casual was covered in dog hair and rumpled. I liked the look, gave him character, and softened the uptight edges of his personality. I was surprised he hadn’t taken the time to change, but then maybe he hadn’t wanted to keep me waiting.
“Not a word about the car,” Neil growled as he slammed his car door shut. “I inherited it from my grandfather and can’t afford to replace it.”
I’d never been good at regulating my expression. “I didn’t say anything,” I assured him, even if I had thought it very loudly.
I might not be a fan of this truck, but I had to admit that I’d watched him pull in, and it could turn on a dime and wasn’t too oversized to fit in a regular parking space, unlike the newer full-size trucks I’d seen around town.
“Oh my gosh,” Neil exclaimed as we exited the parking lot. The setting sun turned the sky over the bay a brilliant shade of pink that reflected purple on the calm waters.
I cringed as a dog ran through the surf, a frisbee clutched in his jaws. At least the dog was far enough away that I could pretend it was a 2D image on a television screen, not something that could hurt me.
When I’d suggested the place, I’d been thinking of the lovely aisles of books and how I missed watching the sun set over the beach while dining on the patio. The fact that I’d been avoiding the boardwalk for the last year because of the dogs had slipped my mind.
I needed to distract myself and caught sight of the lighthouse in the distance across the bay. “Have you heard about the ghosts of the bay?”
“Let me guess, ghost woman? Or ghost ship?” He shot me a wry smile, the light glinting off his glasses.
“Both,” I admitted.
Neil barked out a laugh. I’d never thought about it before, but now that he’d pointed it out, I suppose it was a bit silly that we had legends about both. I waited while Neil got his breath back, wiping away tears from the corner of his eyes and resetting his glasses.
“This way,” I told him once he was ready, weaving between the cars to stand on the sidewalk. Most of the pavement was covered with sand, and I itched to kick off my sandals and walk barefoot.
I’d been avoiding the beach this past year, and only now, standing this close to the surf, did I realize how much I’d missed it. I mean, I knew I’d missed it, but this deep ache that eased at me being here again drove home how much. Thankfully, I had Neil with me, keeping me from spiraling into self-recrimination.
Neil had reached the entrance to the bookstore ahead of me and slowed at the open door, staring in at the book displays. “I thought you were joking about a café slash bookstore. This is amazing.”
“I know, right? But food first, books after.” I continued on, with Neil scrambling after me as I plowed past him.
“Ugh, I already have sand in my shoes,” he complained as we reached the entrance to the café half of the building. As we waited at the empty host stand, he leaned on me to take off one shoe and then the other to knock sand out of them. Even that simple touch and act of trust sent blood rushing to my face and elsewhere.
“That’s what you get for wearing dress shoes to the beach,” I teased him.
His brow furrowed as he slipped his second shoe back on. “I hadn’t planned to visit the beach today.”
“You live in a beach town now, my dude. You should always be prepared to visit the beach. And you could have changed when you went home.”
“Sandals don’t exactly go with chinos,” he said with a small shake of his head, but the corners of his mouth had turned up in amusement. “And I was in a hurry. I haven’t exactly unpacked.”
“You realize you’re in Cali now. Chinos are the west-coast equivalent to wearing a tux to work.”
Neil opened his mouth to respond, but a squealed call of “Sawyer!” cut him off. A dark-haired woman waved at us, jogging up from the beach.
“Hey, Frankie,” I said as she reached us.
“Sawyer!” Frankie threw her arms around me in a quick hug before stepping back, although she continued to bounce on her toes while she talked. She wore a one-piece bathing suit, and sand coated her wet legs. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”
“Just busy, you know. Frankie,” I said, ignoring her unspoken question about why I hadn’t been around. I’d already told Neil the truth, but I didn’t want to discuss it with Frankie. She was a huge gossip who worked at a popular beach hangout; if I told her, the news would spread around Gaynor Beach like lightning. “I want you to meet Neil. He’s the new volunteer coordinator over at the shelter. Frankie and I went to high school together,” I said to Neil as he and Frankie shook.
“And junior high and elementary school. And preschool.” Frankie laughed. “It’s a small town.”
He gave her a little wave and a smile. “Hi, nice to meet you.”
“Same,” Frankie said, looking Neil up and down. Her eyebrows came together, and I could almost hear the gears turning. “You two have a fun, romantic night out. I’ll let you be.” She winked at me with a grin.
“Not a date,” I said, trying to match her grin despite not feeling it. “Neil’s new in town, and I offered to show him the local sights.”
“Suuuure,” Frankie said, winking and elbowing my side. “When you coming back? You’ve missed some killer waves.”
I groaned; I craved those waves so bad. The crash of the ocean was like a siren song that I’d been too terrified to answer for the last year. “Yeah… Soon, I hope.” I gave her a fist bump. I really hoped I was telling the truth. I mean, I was good enough to survive two trips to the animal shelter. I’d be back in no time.
Chapter nine
Bookstore Shenanegans
Neil
“Nice to meet you, Neil.” Frankie grabbed my hand, pulling me in for a quick hug. I stiffened in surprise. She whispered, “You know, Sawyer is single, and he’s a catch. Just saying.” She winked as she pulled away.
He seemed like a catch to me, too, which made me wonder what kept him single. I bet Frankie knew the dish about Sawyer… but no, I didn’t care. It’s not like he was actually interested in me.
“Frankie…” Sawyer groaned and swatted at her.
“Don’t be a stranger, Sawyer!” Frankie said, jogging off backward across the sand with a wave.
“She’s… interesting,” I hedged, shaking my head.
“That she is.” Sawyer put his hand on my back and gently led me the last few steps to the restaurant door.
We got a seat on the patio, looking out over the beach. The sun setting over the ocean was gorgeous, with the sunset pinks and golds reflecting and refracting off the water. It would have been very romantic if we were actually here on a date.
Sawyer looked nervous as the hostess sat us down. Combined with what Frankie’d said when she’d greeted us, I got the impression it had been a while since he dated. Which, same. But also I was nervous for another reason. Since I’d been trying to keep things professional between us, and with Sawyer’s insistence that this was not a date, I hadn’t bothered to disclose my trans status to Sawyer.
We sat in awkward silence after Frankie left, broken only briefly by our server dropping off our menus. Sawyer kicked off his sandals and relaxed back in his chair.
“How are you liking our little beach community so far?” Sawyer asked.
“It’s an adjustment, that’s for sure. From a desert to this. I’d never seen the ocean before. It’s very pretty.” I picked up my menu.
“Never seen the ocean before? That means you’ve never surfed either?” Sawyer clutched his heart dramatically and swooned back in his chair.
