Ruff start, p.7
Ruff Start, page 7
“Hilarious. No, with Neil.”
“But I really did adopt a cat,” I teased.
Hector huffed.
“You are too easy,” I said with a laugh. “I asked him out. We have a date tomorrow night.”
“That’s great! So you quit your volunteer job?”
“Yeah, um, no.” I wiped down the mirror in the bathroom.
“What does that mean?” Hector demanded.
“I told Neil this isn’t a date.” Now I felt crappy for not just asking him outright. “I asked him to come over so I can try to pet a dog.”
“You are such a sucker.” Hector laughed into my ear.
“Shut up,” I muttered. He was right. I was okay with that.
“Where are you going on your second, let me add, not-date?”
“I’m making him dinner, and shit, I just realized I forgot to ask him if there’s anything he can’t eat.”
“I’m sure if he were allergic to anything, he would have told you,” Hector assured me.
“Yeah, you’re probably right.”
“So he’s coming over to your house? That’s pretty intimate.”
“It’s not a date, but yeah, I know.” I finished scrubbing down the toilet and flushed it.
“Dude, are you—”
“I’m not talking to you on the john, man; I’m cleaning the bathroom. For my date.” I paused. “Not-date. But I still want to impress him.”
“Wow, you’re cleaning the bathroom for him? You really do like him.” Hector whooped into my ear. I cringed at how loud it was.
“You think you’re funny.” I paused. “And you are.”
“Still, inviting him over… Good. You need to get laid. It’s been too long.”
“It’s not that kind of date. Or it wasn’t when we set it up. He’s coming over because I wanted a safe place to… meet his dog.”
“What?” Hector screeched. “Are you sure about this?”
“No.” I suppressed a full-body shiver. “But I’m ready for Neil. And since he comes with a dog…”
“What kind of dog does he have?”
“A big, fluffy sheepdog. It’s pretty cute. It looks a lot like my cat but gigantic.”
“Damn. You must really be nuts for this guy. Well, good luck, and call me if it goes balls up and you need a shoulder to cry on.”
I hung up on Hector and flopped on the couch.
I was so not ready for this—neither this date with Neil nor for petting the dog. I shuddered. Why did I tell him I was actually ready to touch a dog? Hector was right; I was nuts for this guy.
Chapter nineteen
Moment of Truth
Neil
Moment of truth. I sat parked in front of Sawyer’s house, twisting my hands on the wheel. Bubblegum barked at me from her doggy car seat, her tail wagging as if cheering me on.
“Thanks for the support,” I told her before getting out of the car.
Sawyer’s house was a bundle of contradictions. His house was a tiny little cottage, single story, that, while well maintained, was older. The rest of the houses on the street were larger, newer construction homes with modern floor plans and multiple levels built right up to the plotline. Sawyer’s was one of the few that sat back from the street and had a front yard.
I could hear waves lapping at the beach, but the ocean itself was hidden behind another row of houses.
His yard was basically dirt with some weeds, but the siding was freshly painted. The decor I could see through the front window was eclectic, and none of it matched, but somehow, everything tied together into a cohesive whole.
A mural was painted on one wall, depicting a very stylized ocean, waves lapping at a beach. My mind stuttered, and suddenly, everything clicked into place. Sawyer wanted to volunteer to get used to being around dogs, not to take care of the animals. The shelter had that big blank wall right over the entrance. It was perfect. If he were up there painting a mural, he could still hear the dogs and see them, but he’d be in a safe space, unreachable.
I was so excited to tell Sawyer my idea over dinner and see what he thought about it.
I went around to Bubblegum’s side and rolled her windows down a few inches—no fancy electronic controls in this car—then petted her head and gave her a treat.
“I’m going to go inside for a few minutes,” I told her. She yipped at me and wagged her tail. A few minutes alone in the car wouldn’t hurt her. I didn’t want to ambush Sawyer with her at the door.
I grabbed the bag with Sawyer’s Tupperware from the footwell, then went and rang the bell. Sawyer answered before I’d even taken my finger from the buzzer. The scent of something cheesy and potatoey drifted out.
Before I could even say anything, he burst out laughing. I blinked at him and then did the same. While I’d dressed down, Sawyer had done the opposite. He wore a bright red pressed button-down, black dress slacks, along with a matching belt and loafers.
“Wow, you look great,” I gushed, and he did. The red set off his locks of shaggy, blond hair and tanned skin. He filled out the shirt nicely, and the pants hugged all the right places.
“Dressed to impress,” Sawyer said, waving down at himself, eyes twinkling. “But I guess you did the same.”
“I mean, it’s the weekend, and someone has been on me to relax,” I teased.
Sawyer’s grin was infectious, and I matched it as his eyes swept down me and back up. “No dog?”
“She’s in the car.” I waved to the driveway, which was out of sight of the front door. “Oh, I hope it’s okay that I parked in the driveway?”
“Yeah, no problem.” He took the bag from me. “Let me put these in the dishwasher, and then I’ll come out and meet her.”
“I already washed them,” I said to his back.
He waved at me over his shoulder, dumping the bag on the counter before returning.
Sawyer clapped his hands together. “Okay, let’s go meet the dog!”
While he sounded excited, his hunched shoulders and wild eyes told a different story.
“It’s fine not to be excited about this,” I told him. “You don’t have to put on a front for me.”
His face immediately plummeted. “Good because I’m terrified. Let’s get this over with.” He squared his shoulders, then stepped outside, shutting the door firmly behind him.
I walked alongside him down the walk. We turned the corner, and the car came into view. Bubblegum stood up in her dog seat, yapping at us through the window. Sawyer stopped dead, his face going white. He looked like he was about ready to faint, so I grabbed his elbow, just in case.
“Is that a Chihuahua?” his voice cracked.
“No, she’s a miniature spitz,” I said, chewing on my lip. I’d even gotten her tested with one of those doggy ancestor kits because I’d been curious if she was a purebred. She was. “Why? What’s wrong? You’ve seen her before, remember, in my office and in the parking lot when I was walking her.”
“I thought—” Sawyer’s voice broke, and he had to swallow, clearing his throat before continuing. “I thought the sheepdog was yours.”
“Sheepdog?” I asked before remembering the other dog that had been with us both times. “Oh, my gosh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize… but… isn’t this better? Because she’s so much smaller?” I asked, waving my free hand at Bubblegum, who still stood in her car seat, wagging her tail at her new best friend so hard that her entire butt waggled.
“Not so much.” Sawyer groaned.
“She’ll be okay in my truck for a few more minutes,” I said, tugging his arm until he let me lead him back into the house.
The entryway had some photos of Sawyer as a kid and pictures of his parents that I wished I had time to stop and examine. But right now, calming Sawyer down was more important.
Sawyer flopped onto the couch, and I sat down next to him. The threadbare couch was more comfortable than it looked.
He was breathing slowly in and out, just like when he’d helped me with my panic attack. Bubblegum’s yappy barks were still audible, but only faintly.
I sat with him in silence until his breaths were even.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, covering my face. “I kinda ruined dinner. If you’re better, I’ll take her home.”
I stood up, but Sawyer pulled me back down. I didn’t resist. “Please don’t go. It’s not you, it’s me.”
My lip quirked at the cheesy line, which, in this case, I knew to be true. I also noticed that Sawyer still hadn’t let go of my hand even after I’d sat back down. “I can’t leave Bubblegum in the car.”
“I set up a baby gate in the bathroom door. You can put her in there,” Sawyer said, partially pulling his hand out of mine, fingertips lingering there.
“You freaked out just seeing her. And this place doesn’t look big enough to have multiple bathrooms. What happens if you need to use it?” I raised my eyebrows at him.
“We’ll figure it out…” Sawyer said although he didn’t look or sound sure. “There’s a 7-Eleven a few blocks away. I can go there.”
“Can I ask…? Why Chihuahuas? What happened? I mean, I’m guessing Chihuahuas because you asked me if she was one,” I said when he gave me a sharp look. “I want to know before I agree to this insane plan.” A plan I shouldn’t even be considering, but I’d been looking forward to this date/not-date, and frustration churned in my gut.
“It’s stupid.” Sawyer let go of my hand now and groaned, flopping over to lie halfway over the arm of the couch.
“Not stupid if it upsets you.” I put a hand on his leg. My heart ached for him, and seeing him so vulnerable made me even more attracted to him.
Chapter twenty
The Dog Story
Sawyer
“I haven’t told this story to anyone but my therapist,” I said, putting a pillow over my face. Somehow, not seeing Neil’s face made it easier for me to open up. I didn’t want to see the sympathy I imagined I’d see there. I didn’t want sympathy, which is why I’d tried to keep my fear a secret.
Neil shifted closer to me but didn’t say anything, waiting for me to tell him in my own time, which I appreciated. God, this story was so embarrassing. But Neil was right; he deserved to know. I took a deep breath, imagining drawing my tattered confidence around myself like a blanket, and started talking.
“You ever been skinny dipping?”
A pregnant silence filled the room for a moment.
“Can’t say that I have.” When Neil spoke, his voice quavered a bit.
Odd, but I needed to focus on getting my story out. “Right, well, Hector and I were hanging out here. Hector, he’s my—”
“Your friend, the writer. I remember from the cover of Faerly Hunter.”
“Yeah, so he was over. We’d been playing video games and drinking. My memories of what brought up skinny dipping are hazy, but it really doesn’t matter which of us suggested it. Anyway, it was like two a.m., the streets were empty, and the beach was right there.” I gestured vaguely at my front wall. I cringed at the memory. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”
Neil coughed like he was suppressing a laugh. “The phrase ‘seemed like a good idea at the time’ heralds a lot of embarrassing stories.”
“Yep,” I agreed, then blindly punched Neil’s arm, but not with any force behind it.
“Oww,” he said, but not with any genuine feeling. “Sorry, go on.”
“We shucked our clothes in the house and ran over there. We were actually having a lot of fun splashing around in the water.”
“Until the Chihuahuas came,” Neil intoned, doing a good impression of a horror movie narrator.
I laughed despite myself, appreciating the way Neil’s humor loosened some of the tension that had thrummed through me since I saw Princess Bubblegum. “You joke, but that’s exactly what happened. As we were getting out of the water, a pack of feral Chihuahuas—”
“What?” Neil said in a dead tone.
I pulled down the pillow and sat up to look Neil in the eye. “If you hadn’t found Princess Bubblegum, she would have gone feral eventually.”
“But a pack of nothing but Chihuahuas?” Neil’s eyes went wide, probably visualizing a herd of Princess Bubblegum clones, fluffy white dogs with bows in their hair, running up and down the beach.
“Chihuahuas are clannish, so yes,” I said, referring to the way Chihuahuas only liked other Chihuahuas or Chihuahua mixes, shunning other dogs. “Anyway, I assume the end of that story is obvious.” I ran a hand through my hair. Telling the guy I had the hots for that I got bitten all over, and I mean all over, was not on my to-do list tonight.
“You got bit,” Neil said, biting his lip. “But didn’t Hector get attacked too if he was there?”
I groaned and put my head in my hands. “I tripped on a piece of driftwood and fell. Hit my head on something. They all stopped chasing Hector to chew on me.”
“He just left you there?” Neil’s face clouded with anger—misplaced anger, but the thought that he was getting worked up over the thought of Hector leaving me behind gave me warm fuzzies.
“No, he ran back here and grabbed a shovel from the garage, then used it to drive the dogs away.” I rolled up my shirt sleeve and showed him my upper arm, where some of the scars were still visible. My arms had gotten the worst of it since I’d been flailing at the dogs with them. “Afterward, he drove me to the ER. Final tally was a minor concussion, five stitches, and a crippling fear of dogs.”
“Damn.” Neil’s eyes grew round. “I’m sorry about the Chihuahua joke. I wasn’t thinking.”
“It’s okay.” I shrugged and gave him a small smile. “It was actually pretty funny. Mind if I steal it?”
“I don’t mind. But steal it for what?” Neil gave me a puzzled look.
“My therapist said I should journal out my feelings about the attack, but I’m a comic book artist. Pictures are easier for me than words. So I’ve been drawing a little mini-comic about the attack.”
“I’d like to see it when it’s done.” Neil paused and reddened. “If you want to share it with me, I mean.”
“I’d like that,” I said, and I meant it.
A timer went off somewhere in the house. “Dinner’s ready.”
Neil chewed on his lip and checked the time on his phone. “I’d love to stay, but I need to go. I’ve already left her alone in the truck too long.”
“Please stay. Put her in the bathroom. I can deal with her being here. I only freaked out earlier because she caught me by surprise.” A note of pleading entered my voice despite my trying to keep calm. I stood and paced into the kitchen, needing to move. The thought of a Princess Bubblegum in the house made me shake, but I wouldn’t let this fear lose me a cute guy who took my breath away and made me laugh.
A guy who’d tried to dress down for me. Who’d put up with my panic attack without judgment.
Telling myself it technically wasn’t a Chihuahua didn’t help. But ironically, reframing her in my head as Neil’s dog helped.
Neil still sat on the couch, indecision pulling at his features.
“I made potatoes au gratin and steaks,” I called from the kitchen as I pulled the casserole dish out of the oven.
“I love potatoes au gratin,” Neil said. “How did you know?”
“Lucky guess.” More like I’d paid attention to what he’d ordered at Books & Bites and the fact that he said he’d like my lasagna.
“I’ll go get Bubblegum.” Neil hopped to his feet and bounced out of the room.
I did a little victory dance in my kitchen. Neil was so cute, and he was staying. I hadn’t ruined this date with my stupid yet traumatic story.
I covered the au gratin and pulled the steaks out of the fridge.
The front door clicked shut as Neil came back in a minute later.
“First door on the left past the living room,” I called out to him and poked my head out of the kitchen, forcing myself to watch as he carried the dog past the living room entrance.
The dog yapped as she saw me. I cringed, but I’d been prepared this time.
Under the couch, the cat hissed. I knelt and lifted the skirt to look. Princess Fluffybutt blinked back at me.
I dropped the couch skirt and headed back to the kitchen, poking around until Neil returned. It took him a bit, and I heard a dog toy squeaking a few times; I assumed he was playing with her to set her at ease. I didn’t rush him, using the time to finish setting the table and clean up.
“Bubblegum is all set up,” Neil said when he returned.
“I thought we’d eat out on the patio,” I said, nodding to the back door on the other side of the kitchen. “Do you want a drink? There’s beer or soda in the fridge.”
“Thanks. That sounds good,” Neil said. He popped the fridge and pulled out a soda. I expected him to go out outside, but he lingered.
“Can you open the back door for me?” I said, grabbing the oven mitts so I could carry out the casserole dish.
My house wasn’t big, and the kitchen was narrow, so I had to brush by Neil to get out. Just that little bit of contact sent an electric thrill through me.
I set the hot casserole dish on the waiting trivet. The day’s heat still radiated off the house, but it had already started to cool. Neil had followed me out and took a seat at the table, then popped the tab of his soda with a hiss.
“How do you like your steak?”
“Medium,” Neil said. “Can we hear Bubblegum out here?”
A sharp yap came from behind him, and Neil spun in his chair, almost spilling his soda.
“That’s the bathroom window right behind you. I left it cracked,” I said as I checked the temp on the grill. Perfect. The steaks sizzled as they hit the cooking grate.
“This is a cute little house,” Neil said.
“Yeah. Belongs to my parents.” I shot him a smile over my shoulder. “They retired to Texas.”
“They retired from a beachfront paradise… to a desert?” Neil laughed.
