Bonny volunteered to help close up as Lily tidied up the shop and did her usual dish washer routine.

  ‘Lily,’ Bonny gently said coming over to her. ‘I hope you don’t think I’m prying but I heard you talking to Dominic’s girlfriend this morning.’

  Lily stood up straight and faced Bonny.

  ‘You heard?’ Lily gulped.

  ‘You’re pregnant. Congratulations!’ Bonny said and gave her an almighty hug which made Lily cry.

  Two hours later they sat in Lily’s living room.

  ‘Oh my god!’ said Bonny. ‘And that’s it?’

  ‘Bonny, I’ve told you everything,’ Lily said wiping her wet face. ‘I feel so sorry for crying.’

  ‘You’ve seen me upset for a long time,’ Bonny asked putting a gentle arm across her shoulders. ‘And on top of all this you’re still in love with Richard?’

  ‘Yes,’ she sobbed again. ‘But he doesn’t feel the same way. You’re the only one I know who has kids. I’ve no idea what I’m letting myself in for. You promise not to say anything to anyone about this. I’ve only told Dominic, Stella and now Rosana.’

  ‘Whole or half-truths?’

  ‘Bits and pieces.’

  ‘I can guess which bits you left out,’ laughed Bonny. ‘It’s a miracle you know. Creating a baby is a miracle especially since you thought you couldn’t.’

  ‘I don’t want all and sundry to know until I’m sure the baby is okay and I’ve got my head around it.’ Lily let out a very tired sigh before sobbing. ‘I don’t know what to do!’

  Dominic and Lily jumped off the 94 bus and walked towards Selfridges very early on a cold Saturday morning.

  ‘You okay?’ he asked linking arms with her as they walked slowly down Oxford Street.

  ‘Just tired,’ she smiled and looked at Dominic’s boyish face. ‘And she won’t let you hire a suit?’

  ‘Brand new she’s demanded. Even gave me the money for it,’ he laughed.

  ‘You’ve got enough money of your own. You didn’t take it?’

  ‘Of course I did and I intend to spend half of what she gave me and pocket the rest,’ he grinned then winked.

  ‘When do you finish filming?’

  ‘Just in time for the wedding.’ Dominic forced a fake smile and Lily knew he wasn’t happy. ‘But more importantly for the stag do.’

  ‘Which I’m not invited to?’

  ‘Correct!’

  ‘Because why again?’ she smiled knowing he was very pleased about the answer.

  ‘Because we’re going rock climbing and you can’t join in because of your predicament.’

  ‘Pregnancy?’

  ‘Yep!’ he smiled before glancing at her. ‘For someone who’s pregnant you look like you’re losing weight.’

  ‘That’s down to chronic morning, midday and afternoon sickness,’ she said and hoped she wasn’t going to smell anything untoward to set her off again. ‘It’s better than before so I’m getting on top of it.’

  ‘Sounds disgusting. Will you be okay for when we have our own little stag do? Remember, I’ll be spending my final night of freedom with you,’ he said, shrugging off his shiver.

  ‘Was that due to the cold wind or the fact you won’t be single?’

  ‘Both.’

  They walked into Selfridges and went straight to the men’s department. It was about ten so the crowds hadn’t arrived and Dominic could easily buy his suit without getting niggled. Rosana sent Lily an email outlining what style he should be buying but Lily was to influence him without telling him directly.

  Dominic walked around as Lily sat down and watched him scowl. She took the initiative to grab an assistant, tell them what she, or more to the point, Rosana was looking for on behalf of Dominic and then let them run with it. It took two hours of Dominic trying on suits and being indecisive before a final decision was made. The tie and shirt was sorted and Lily made sure he bought new underwear and socks.

  ‘I’m starving,’ Lily said as they walked downstairs with the bags.

  ‘Dominic!’ they heard someone shout and Lily turned around to see the model Dominic had drooled over, who was also Richard’s wife, standing with Eleanor.

  ‘Oh my,’ muttered Lily under her breath when she saw the pair of them.

  ‘Angel,’ Dominic casually said and kissed Eleanor before planting a kiss on Angel’s cheek. He turned to look at Lily. ‘This is-.’

  ‘I know who this is,’ said Angel smiling down at her.

  Lily felt like an old ugly fat duckling as she looked up at the elegant and incredibly beautiful woman standing in front of her. She sighed and smiled.

  ‘Hi I’m Lily,’ she said holding out her hand and shook Angel’s rather long and slender fingers.

  ‘Are you feeling better? You look wonderful,’ Eleanor gushed before grabbing her tightly and then peering into her eyes. ‘How are you?’

  ‘Really well,’ she said and from the corner of her eye she noticed Angel was looking at Dominic, who in turn was just glancing around.

  ‘This is a bit odd,’ Dominic said, smiling at the women. ‘You’ve all been named Hayden-Quik at one time or another. It’s like a reunion.’

  Lily noticed Dominic was acting the nervous way he did when he fancied someone. She immediately knew it wasn’t Eleanor.

  ‘I’ve heard so much about you,’ said Angel gently.

  Lily recognised she spoke with an American accent but her time in London was changing her vowels.

  ‘It’s probably not all true and I’m not really that bad,’ she said smiling and wanting to leave immediately.

  ‘Why don’t you join us for lunch?’ Angel asked.

  ‘No!’ both Lily and Dominic yelped as then looked at each other, Lily more surprised by Dominic’s refusal than hers.

  ‘We’ve got to look for a dress for me for his wedding,’ Lily said earnestly to Eleanor. ‘I’m the best man with boobs so we have to sort of match.’

  ‘Are you excited about it?’ Angel asked seriously as she looked directly at Dominic.

  ‘Ecstatic,’ Dominic said flatly and diverted his eyes to Lily. ‘Come on we better get going.’

  ‘Lovely to see you again and-.’ Lily was quickly dragged away by Dominic and out of Selfridges. ‘I thought we were going to look for a dress for me?’

  ‘We can do that later. I need a drink,’ he said and took her to the Asian fusion restaurant round the corner.

  He sat opposite her in silence, drinking a beer as Lily drank a green tea.

  ‘You were okay until you bumped into them,’ Lily said noticing his agitation. ‘Is there something you’re not telling me?’

  ‘I find it rather hypocritical you could stand there and think everything is fine!’ he blurted out. ‘You should’ve told Angel what a fucker her husband is.’

  ‘That’s not for me to say,’ Lily replied calmly.

  ‘Didn’t you feel awkward?’

  ‘Of course I feel awkward!’ she snapped flashing Dominic a dirty look. ‘What was I supposed to do? Angel called your name, it wasn’t Eleanor who called out, you know. How comes you know Angel? You never said.’

  ‘I see her on set quite a lot,’ he shrugged before looking out the window. ‘She hangs around a bit probably keeping an eye on her husband. Why don’t you tell her he was screwing you days before her wedding?’

  ‘I did a bad thing, okay? I know it. I’m paying for it so there’s no need to upset her,’ Lily hissed and moved closer to him. ‘What good is that going to do?’

  ‘It’d make me feel better!’

  ‘I thought you liked Richard, regardless of whether he’s been a shit to me.’

  ‘I do!’

  ‘That’s good to know,’ she said sipping her tea.

  ‘Look, he’s crap with women, everyone knows that and he’s hurt you, my best friend and someone I care about. I hate to think he’s going to do it to someone else.’ Dominic finished his bottle of beer and leaned closer to Lily. ‘Don’t you think it’s your duty, as a woman, to inform a fellow woman that she’s in danger of getting hurt?’

  ‘No-I-don’t!’

  ‘She deserves better.’

  ‘I get it,’ Lily said putting her cup down and staring at Dominic. ‘You fancy her!’

  ‘No I don’t,’ he shrugged before his cheeks went pink.

  ‘Dominic this is not the time to have a crush on a married woman. A married woman who is married to my ex!’ she hissed.

  ‘Order some food and change the subject,’ he whispered before getting another bottle of beer.

  As they sat eating, Lily thought about Angel and it made her remember how she felt the first time she laid eyes on Tia. Richard’s women had a way of making her feel inadequate and now, old. She knew she was in the process of having a melt down and tried to hold it in.

  ‘Are you okay?’ Dominic gently asked and she shook her head before crying. ‘Oh kid!’

  He moved closer to put a comforting arm around her.

  ‘I’m so scared about the baby. I don’t want all the tests they’re trying to force me to take. They’re making me scared because I’m over forty. I don’t know how I’ll cope,’ she blubbed into her napkin. ‘I feel alone and I don’t care if the baby isn’t perfect, it’s my baby and I’ll love it.’

  ‘That’s good,’ Dominic said trying to pull the hair out of her face. ‘It’s a little baby and everyone will love it, even if it’s a girl.’

  ‘Very funny,’ she smirked and looked at Dominic. ‘You won’t be here, will you? You fly back over at the beginning of June and I’ll have no-one.’

  ‘Don’t say that,’ he grimaced

  ‘And you know what Dom? It really hurts when I think about Richard. I’m trying to keep an even keel but I can’t face the fact he really shafted me this time.’

  ‘He can be uninvited along with his wife,’ Dominic said flatly. ‘My marriage, my rules.’

  ‘Rosana wouldn’t agree and you know she has a point of us not being in the same room together. I was thinking about me turning up and-.’

  ‘No!’ he said holding her by the shoulders. ‘You’re my best friend and I want you by my side when I do the deed.’

  ‘What if I fuck up and start crying?’

  ‘I’ll know it’s because of your hormones.’

  ‘But no one else will.’

  ‘You know since you told Rosana, she’s been asking an awful lot of questions,’ he sighed and looked slightly concerned. ‘She can’t believe a gay man would sleep with you and you wouldn’t use contraception, considering.’

  ‘Considering what?’ she asked knowing full well what was being implied.

  ‘Gay guy and all that,’ he said quietly. ‘I mean, did he know what to do?’

  ‘I’m pregnant, aren’t I.’

  ‘I thought, based on what Julian said, he realised he was gay when he was five.’

  ‘It happened, it’s a done deal,’ Lily said wiping her eyes.

  ‘And you say he knows about being a dad?’ Dominic said crinkling his face.

  ‘All sorted. Stella put together a document for him to sign saying he’ll play no role in the baby’s life.’ Lily looked out of the window and bit her lip. ‘I did give him some money to make sure he doesn’t start making demands.’

  ‘Stella and you sorted all this out?’

  ‘Yes,’ she said turning to Dominic. ‘I’ll show you the paper work if you like.’

  ‘No, it’s fine. I trust you.’

  ‘Do you trust me not to get upset when I see Richard at your wedding?’

  ‘You can avoid him and I’ll make sure Stella’s on hand.’

  ‘You’re a good friend,’ she sighed and looked at his concerned face. ‘A bit of a letch but a good friend.’

  ‘And you know if there is something wrong with the baby,’ he said resting his head on her shoulders. ‘Then we’ll know the father is Julian.’

  They both shuddered before laughing.

  Chapter Ten

  It was the middle of January as Lily waited to see the consultant. She handed in her urine sample and played a game on her phone to pass away the time.

  ‘Ms Warner?’ someone called.

  As she looked up there was a rather large, short lady balancing glasses on the end of her nose, glancing around the room which consisted of her and someone else. It was none other than Dr Riley.

  ‘That’s me,’ Lily smiled and was met with a rather large false smile in return.

  ‘Oh yes. Jolly good, follow me,’ the woman said.

  Lily noticed she was wearing a very large black dress with a deep scoop around her neck, the rolls of fat on her back were pretty evident. She was a very handsome looking woman, even with her harshly cut dyed dark brown bob.

  ‘I’m Dr Riley, we have met before haven’t we?’ she said giving a firm handshake as Lily nodded. ‘Take a seat.’ Lily sat down opposite the woman who looked at her file and then scowled. ‘Yes, okay, I see.’ She ran a pen along the inside of the file then flicked pages over. ‘That’s good.’ Lily watched and waited, wondering if she was actually going to be part of the conversation. ‘Ms Warner, I see you’re suffering from high blood pressure. Has this always been the case?

  ‘Not that I know of. I think of myself as pretty fit and-.’

  ‘But you have high blood pressure.’

  ‘I’m being told but-.’

  ‘If we’d had planned baby, then I would have advised for you to have taken a small amount of aspirin. This would have helped with the thinning of the blood and therefore put less of a strain on your heart.’

  ‘I wasn’t planning to get pregnant. I thought I couldn’t after-.’

  ‘Well it does happen. Geriatric mothers are not uncommon nowadays. It’s a rising statistic that most first time mothers are now in their early thirties. Being in your mid-forties-.’

  ‘I’m forty three,’ Lily piped up. ‘Nowhere near the mid.’

  ‘You’ll be how old when you have the baby?’

  ‘Forty four,’ Lily replied and immediately recognised the fake smile from Dr Riley and thought she heard her tut.

  ‘I’m sure you’re aware of the risks having a baby at this age. Not only is there is the probability of miscarriage, there are the chromosome disorders that often affect the baby. From your notes I see you do not want to partake in any testing, is that correct?’

  Dr Riley stared directly at Lily who felt a little scared answering.

  ‘I’ve been having scans since I found out I was pregnant, because of the blood pressure, and I had a nuchal scan, they said it was all okay. I don’t want anything invasive as I know the risks to the baby.’ Lily waited to see what Dr Riley’s reaction would be. ‘At my age.’

  ‘Not even blood tests so we can determine if there are any problems?’

  ‘If there are problems I’ll face them head on.’

  ‘You know when you get your twenty two week scan there is a chance there might be complications?’ she gently said.

  ‘Are you trying to tell me something?’

  The hairs stood on the back of Lily’s neck.

  ‘I’m telling you to be prepared, that’s all. Nothing wrong with making sure you’ve thought things through. I’ve had many a patient, like yourself, coming through here determined to ‘let things be’,’ Dr Riley let out a little laugh. ‘But then things change and you have to always think of options.’

  ‘Dr Riley are you saying there’s something wrong with my baby?’

  Lily’s heart raced. She’d just seen the baby not half an hour ago and it was the most beautiful thing in the world. There was no way she was going to accept something could be wrong.

  ‘Look,’ Dr Riley said lightly. ‘I respect your decision not to take further tests but the problem I have at the moment is that your blood pressure is high and there are risks to you like pre-eclampsia. This could put lives at risk of you and baby.’

  ‘I’ve read up about it,’ said Lily gulping hard.

  ‘And gestational diabetes is very common with older mums.’

  ‘I read about that too.’

  ‘Ms Warner, at your age you have to be particularly careful. It’s a precarious time for older mums. Most mums and babies come out fine but sometimes, things do go wrong, which I hope won’t happen to you.’

  Dr Riley patted Lily’s leg which was shaking furiously.

  When she walked out of the clinic, Lily was devastated. She wanted to cry her eyes out because Dr Riley scared the living shit out of her so she made a phone call.

  ‘Hello,’ he croaked. ‘What time is it?’

  ‘Dominic,’ she sobbed down the phone. ‘It’s awful.’

  ‘What is it Lily?’ he said sounding like he was getting out of bed.

  ‘Being pregnant. I saw the consultant and she was horrible to me. What if the baby is mentally and physically handicapped, what would I do? If I die in child birth, who would look after the baby?’

  ‘It’s your hormones.’

  ‘It’s not my hormones!’ she snapped. ‘Ever since you found out I was pregnant you say it’s my hormones. She told me all the things that could go wrong and I’m scared. What if the baby is seriously handicapped.’

  ‘Politically correct you say handicapable.’

  ‘I bloody well don’t care! Could I cope? Could I cope if it was perfectly normal? What do I know about babies?’

  ‘You wanted one for such a long time you’ll learn. You’re not going to be one of those single mothers taking benefits. You have a financial bean bag behind you courtesy of your ex.’

  ‘His money has got nothing to do with it!’ she barked.

  ‘What I mean is that you can hire nannies and nurses to help you.’

  ‘What about bringing up the baby, alone, without a dad? I didn’t have a dad for much of my life and I think that slightly fucked me up. You need to have some sort of balance.’

  ‘Then fly Tyrone back to London,’ Dominic laughed. ‘Not a good idea as then the baby will have two mums.’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Lily sighed. ‘Did I wake you up? It’s nearly eleven.’

  ‘Rosana left at the crack of dawn and I thought I’d stay in bed for as long as I could.’

  ‘Aren’t you needed on set?’ she asked walking slowly to the bus stop.

 

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