Ultimate mc romance coll.., p.164
Ultimate MC (Romance Collection), page 164
“I’m just not in love with the idea of separating. I don’t know if your father knows, I don’t know why my father is going to do, and I don’t like the idea of you struggling to eat anything while this is all going on,” I said. I wasn’t sure what I wanted her to say in return, but she didn’t reply.
She just put her arm around me and laid closer to me. I wrapped my arm around her in return, holding her close. “I’m going to leave you my truck keys so you can get home. I’ll take my bike to work, and I don’t care how long you hold onto the thing. It’ll be nice for you to have your own vehicle and not have to worry about using your roommate’s, anyway.”
“Really?” she asked. “That really would be nice. I don’t want to be a captive audience when I get home, and I have a feeling I will be. If I can manage to find some sort of outpatient rehab program, I’m taking it. I don’t want to be stuck staying at any of the facilities again.”
“Are you sure? I almost think that it would be better…” I let my words hang in the air, then I kissed her forehead. “Whatever you think is best. As long as you really do go through with this.”
“I will,” she promised.
I held her for as long as I could, trying not to think about how upset I was that time was drifting by. I didn’t want her to go, and I didn’t want to deal with work. But my alarm didn’t wait for either of us, and within a couple of hours, it was loudly blaring.
With a sigh, I dragged myself out of bed. “You can stay as long as you want, but I do have to get going.”
“I’ll be heading out shortly, too,” she said. It felt like a punch in the stomach hearing the words, but I knew it was for the best. She had to get her own shit underway, and if I was going to deal with my father, I wanted to do it when she wasn’t in town.
Part of me worried that he would do something to her directly. I didn’t want to think that he’d stoop to that level and that he’d take his frustration and anger out on me, but I also knew my father was unpredictable at times. It wouldn’t have been too surprising for him to get Marcus involved or do something to Vanessa.
I got ready for work and held her for as long as I could before leaving. I knew I had to be to the diner by five, and with the sun rising, it wasn’t likely to be long before she was back on the road herself. It was time for the two of us to say goodbye and see what happened next.
As always, the diner was busy from the moment I unlocked the door. I had everything turned on and fired up, with all the ingredients ready to use. Meagan came in on time, as always, and gave me her bright smile as she tied on her apron and got ready to get to work.
She’d be in charge of the other waitress, so I didn’t have to worry about what was going on up front. I’d just wait for the orders for biscuits and gravy to come rolling in, getting into the groove of keeping up with the customers and waiting for whoever it was who would come in and ream me a new one.
I figured it would be my dad. He wasn’t the kind to really pass up the chance to scream at someone, that was for sure. Then again, I knew Spencer would love the opportunity to shout at me, especially in front of the customers. He hated my position in the MC, knowing that I was in line to take over just because I was related to the leader.
On the other hand, Adam would be someone I’d suspect would be given the job, as well. My father might not want to risk me getting into a fight with Spencer. God knew I could be just as big of a dick, and we were bound to fall to blows with each other before we’d reach any real agreement.
To my surprise, it was none of those three. Nathan had actually been the one charged with the duty of coming in to yell at me, and also to my surprise, he seemed more than happy to do it. He strode in through the back door and leaned his back against the counter, his one hand gripping the side of it so tightly his knuckles were turning white.
“Hey,” I said. “You hungry?”
“I’m pissed,” he said. “How the fuck could you, man?”
“How could I what?”
“Don’t play innocent with me. You missed the charity ride, and for what? You were with one of The Enemies? What the fuck, dude! I can’t say that loud enough!” he shouted.
“I don’t think you could say it any louder if you tried,” I said. I felt the tension rising in my chest. I was rather disappointed that Nathan had been willing to come in here and yell at me like this. After all that he and I had been through together – after how I thought of him like family.
I thought he looked up to me just as much, but then, I knew these men all took their vows to the MC seriously, and they were willing to turn on their own in a heartbeat if they felt that they were being betrayed. I, on the other hand, didn’t see it as a betrayal.
Vanessa didn’t have anything against our MC. She was barely part of her own. I didn’t think of her as one of The Enemies, that was for damn sure. I thought of her as the woman I’d fallen for. True, I’d fallen for her too fast. And much too hard, for that matter. But I’d fallen for her just the same, and nothing was going to change that fact.
I didn’t care what my father had to say about it, and I found it to be rather enlightening that someone like Nathan was so happy to turn his back on me. Hell, with how loud he was talking, the entire diner could hear what he was saying. Did he want to get me on the bad side of everyone in town?
“You are playing with fire, Zach, you know that. Do you have any idea what’s going to happen when Marcus finds out about this?” He shook his head.
“I’m not sure whether he knows or not,” I said with a shrug. “I’m not sure how much trouble Dad wants to get me in before this is over.”
“He’s pissed. Livid, in fact. He doesn’t even want to talk to you, he’s so pissed off with this entire situation. You’re turning your back on your family,” Nathan said.
“I’ve never had much in the way of family,” I shot back. I was starting to get pissed myself. He was pushing me to fight, and I didn’t want to fight with him. I wanted them all to leave me alone about this entire situation. Who I dated had nothing to do with any of them as far as I was concerned, and I was going to stand my ground.
“Fuck you!” he spat.
“Look, I am a grown ass man, and Vanessa is a grown ass woman. We both have the right to choose who we want to date! If we are willing to look past the fact that she and I come from two different clubs, then what is that to you or anyone else?” I shouted. By now, I didn’t care if the rest of the diner heard what I had to say, either.
I was going to stand by Vanessa regardless of what my father thought. I was even willing to let it turn into a war if he wouldn’t let it drop. It was my right, and I wasn’t going to let my own happiness go by the wayside because of what he thought was right and wrong.
Nathan looked at me for a moment, and then he ran his hand under his nose with a sneer. “You really surprise me, Zach, you know that?”
“Not the first time I’ve heard that,” I replied coldly.
“Well, I’m sure Carl is going to be thrilled to hear what you have to say about this. I know I’m sure as hell going to love telling him,” Nathan said as he pushed himself away from the counter and headed for the door.
I couldn’t lie – it did bother me that he was going to go to my father. But that didn’t change how I felt about the situation, or the fact that I wasn’t going to back down. I had made my decision when I went to get Vanessa out of the hospital and brought her to my place.
God knew I’d made the decision even before that. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with that woman, even if it was going to cost me my place in the MC. Even if my father exiled me and we had to start life over somewhere else.
When I thought about how she made me feel when I was with her, about her smile and the way she lit up when she saw me, I knew that this would all be worth it. It wasn’t going to be easy, and I wished things could be different, but it would still be worth it.
This was Vanessa I was fighting for, after all.
Chapter 22
Vanessa
I had a feeling even before I arrived back home that the place was being watched. I had a feeling my father would be keeping an eye on my house for when I got back.
Of course, I knew Lynne wouldn’t tell him anything. My secret was safe with her. But, that didn’t change the fact that I had to head back to my apartment sometime, and I had a sneaking suspicion my father would be right there when it happened.
I pulled the truck into the driveway and stopped next to Lynne’s car. Before I was even out of the vehicle, I heard the bike pull up behind the truck. But, to my surprise, it was Vance who got off the back and not my father. I braced myself. I didn’t want to talk to him, and I hoped since we were past the charity ride he would have headed back to San Francisco.
After all, that was his life now, and he and my father could have their dysfunctional relationship several hundred miles apart.
“Where the hell have you been?” he demanded as he walked up.
“I’m sure you can guess. If you were watching the place for me to come back, then I’m not going to buy into the idea you have no clue where I was,” I said as I crossed my arms. He crossed his as well, mirroring me.
“I know who you’ve been with, and I’m pissed to hear it,” he said. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Do you want to get yourself killed?”
“That’s a little extreme, Vance, don’t you think? Maybe you should get back down to San Francisco to your fancy little life before you get involved in things you don’t need to be involved in,” I suggested. “I’m sure you and Dad aren’t getting along as well as you’d like to act.”
“You’d be surprised how when your sister and daughter tries to get herself killed we can put aside our differences. We both care about you, and we don’t want to see you do this to yourself again!” he snapped.
I laughed. I knew he wasn’t trying to be funny, but it didn’t matter. The thought of him caring about me – the thought of my father caring beyond just having his desire to control me – was more than I could handle. I hadn’t felt loved by either of them for years, and I still resented my brother for just running away like he did.
He fell out of my life when I needed him, and I wasn’t going to act like it was all good between us now.
“Oh please. You know you just want to keep an eye on me so I don’t do anything to inconvenience the club. Dad just doesn’t want to lose someone, and incidentally, he’s losing me because of it. I’m so sick of being the lesser child, it’s time that I remove myself from the equation, and that’s final!”
Vance stared at me through my speech with a look of amusement on his face. He always did this when I tried to tell him something that was important to me. I knew that he thought of me as a failure, and I was done with his attitude just as much as I was done with our dad’s.
I wanted to be treated like I mattered, and I needed them to listen to me to make that happen. But, it became clear to me that neither one of them were going to treat me that way. They were sure that I was just a fuck up. Someone who didn’t measure up and nothing more.
And, I was sick of it.
“That’s it. I’m not going to listen to this anymore,” he said. “You’re going to move home with Dad where you can be watched and taken care of. Neither of us is going to let you run off with a rival MC, and you certainly aren’t going to kill yourself through starvation again.”
“Fuck you, I’m not going anywhere with either one of you!” I snapped.
“I wasn’t asking!” Vance took a step forward, and I took a step back. I didn’t care what he had to say. I wasn’t going to go anywhere with him, that was for damn sure. I would scream if I had to.
But, luckily for me, Lynne came bursting out of the house. She was pulling on a hoodie and wearing pajama shorts and flip flops. I got the impression she had just looked out to see the altercation I was having with my brother and chose to step in.
“What the hell are you two doing out here?” she asked. “Vance? Since when did I say you were allowed on my property?”
Vance gave her a look. The two of them hadn’t gotten along in as long as I could remember, and even though they had managed to be civil to each other at the hospital, I had a feeling that was short lived. Lynne wanted nothing to do with my brother and wasn’t afraid to say so.
“This isn’t over,” he said to me. “I’m going to make sure you move back in with Dad. You don’t have a say here.”
“That’s what you think,” I said. He got back on his bike and left, and I rushed into Lynne’s arms.
“Are you alright?” she asked. “I was so worried about you all weekend.”
“I’m fine,” I said. “I picked out a rehab I’m going to visit on my way back out of town, just like I promised.”
“Oh, good! But you’re leaving again?” she asked. “When?”
“I’m just here to get some clothes, and then I’m going to head back to Zach’s. I can’t stay here with my brother threatening me like that, and I know my father is going to be watching the place. Zach’s is the only place I can go where they aren’t going to follow,” I said with a shake of my head. “He doesn’t seem to worry that anyone is going to come over, at least, he didn’t say anything like that over the weekend.”
“What did you guys talk about?” Lynne asked. “You look better than when you left the hospital; have you been eating?”
“Some,” I admitted. “Not as much as I should, but I’m getting there. I just know that I love this man, and I’m not going to run away because our families don’t think that we should be together. There is no reason for it!”
“I know,” she agreed. She wasn’t part of the MC, but she did understand some of the rules that I had to live by. But, I wasn’t going to go through with it anymore. I wasn’t going to give him my happiness to make my father happy, especially since I never felt that I was fully able to make him happy.
“Are you going to be okay?” I asked.
She nodded. “You are an adult, Vanessa. You can do what you want. Just remember, you need to be careful, and be smart. But you’ll always have a space here if you need to come back. I’ll keep it open for you.”
I hugged her again, holding her close. “Thank you so much. You have always been the one person I knew I could count on, no matter what kind of shit I was dealing with in my family.”
“I love you!” she said with a tight squeeze. “I’m going to make you something to take with you on the road while you pack up.”
“Okay,” I agreed. I didn’t want food, but I knew it would make her feel better to send something along with me. It would save me the need to stop along the way to get something, too. I didn’t want to let myself go all day without eating, and I knew that would happen if I didn’t have something in the car with me when I left.
I went upstairs to pack a few things that I’d need, and Lynne went inside to make me a sandwich for the drive back. It didn’t take me long to throw some clothes in a duffle bag, and I already had all the information I’d need at the clinic.
I gave her one more hug and got back in the truck, eager to be back on the road and out of town. Everything was already planned. I called a woman at the rehab center when I was on my way back into town. I would set up a schedule with them to head in for meetings and monitoring twice a week. It wasn’t as intense as I knew Lynne would want, but it was better than nothing. I couldn’t get myself in too much trouble if I was being monitored every couple days.
At the same time, this was going to give me the freedom to stay with Zach. I’d drive back to town for my meetings, and if things continued the way I hoped they would, I’d be able to transfer to another rehab center in Santa Rosa.
All I knew was that I was more than ready to start cutting ties with my father and brother for good. I’d use Zach as my emergency contact, or Lynne if she was the one in town. But I was done being one of The Enemies, and I had no interest in becoming a Folded Flag.
I just wanted to be with Zach. I loved him, and I knew he felt the same for me. It was time to tell our parents that they didn’t have any control over our lives, and it was time to start making decisions that were right for us.
I was done killing myself with stress and unhealthy coping mechanisms. It was time to take control, and that is exactly what I was doing. Come Hell or high water, I was going to stand on my own two feet and take care of myself from now on.
Zach was on my side. What more did I need?
Chapter 23
Zach
“They aren’t so bad, if you ask me,” I said as I set two smoothies down on the table. There was a large bowl of fruit in the center of the table with a second plate of eggs next to it. I was learning I had better luck getting Vanessa to eat when I was there to eat with her.
I didn’t fully trust that she would eat anything if I was only eating my meals at work, so I made her promise to eat regularly as long as I was there with her. Of course, she still wasn’t eating as much as I wanted. Her plates looked like they were meant to serve a child, not an adult woman, but I was learning to pick my battles.
If she was eating anything at all, she was way ahead of the four days when she really had been on her own. I didn’t want her to relapse into that, so I just let her be. As long as I saw for myself her eating some solids and she drank the smoothies I’d been making for her, I was happy.
I found several recovery smoothie recipes online. They were crammed full of fruits and vegetables, so when I threw in the additional protein powder to make them almost worthy of being a meal themselves, I was happy to hand them over to her.
“Strawberry! I like that one better than the blueberry,” she said cheerfully as she grabbed the glass off the table.
“I like them mixed, but strawberry’s fine with me, too,” I said. I didn’t want her to start feeling as though I was merely copying everything she said she liked to get on her good side. I wanted her to work through this on her own, with my support.
