Ultimate mc romance coll.., p.174
Ultimate MC (Romance Collection), page 174
She had no idea what I was going through, and I was going to keep it that way. But, boy… If only she knew how wrong she was. I had a billion things to worry about, and they had everything to do with my daughter.
And, I could only pray to God that would change soon.
I held Allegra on my hip as we made our way up to the door of the lawyer’s office. I was now relieved that we had made the first meeting local. I didn’t want to drive two hours with the stress that was weighing down on me, and I was glad Nathan was willing to come, despite what my brother had done.
“Hey,” he said when I met him in the parking lot. “Glad you made it.”
“I’m glad to see you made it, too,” I said. He must have seen how tired I was. He held out his arm with a kind smile.
“Do you think she’d be willing to come see me?” he asked. “Or I could hold her hand on our way in.”
“She might,” I said as I leaned forward to hand her off. Briefly, my arm brushed against his, and I tried not to think about the rush that ran through my entire body. I had been so stressed after my brother freaked out I hadn’t let myself think about Nathan in that way.
But, his touch was enough to drive me crazy, and almost immediately, I thought about what it might be like to have him in bed again.
Allegra went to him willingly, though she turned to keep an eye on where I was on our way inside the office. Both lawyers were already ready and waiting, the paperwork on the desk and laid out for us.
“Oh, we’ve got a few toys in the corner of the room if she wants to play,” Mr. Shawshank said happily. I was glad. I’d noticed it the other day when I spoke with him, and Allegra was more than happy to sit and play with the toys while we went over the paperwork.
“Okay, so let’s get down to business,” Miss Ferguson said. “You have both expressed interest in working together to make this run smoothly, is that still on the table?”
“Yes,” Nathan and I spoke at the same time.
“Great! Then that is going to make things run a lot faster,” she said. “Now, I encouraged Nathan to get a job, how is that coming along?”
“I’m working on it,” he said. “I’ve got a few extra roadblocks to work around, but I’m confident that it’s going to come together soon.”
He indicated to his arm as he spoke, and I felt the same wave of guilt that had washed over me the first time we talked about his arm. But, he was clearly feeling better about it, and I didn’t want to spend too much time on the subject. But, my lawyer wasn’t as thrilled.
“I’d like to see that he’s got a job before we move forward with any real serious decisions. For the good of the child,” he said.
“I do have a source of income,” Nathan replied. “I get disability payments from the military.”
“I see, and is that sufficient to raise a child?” Mr. Shawshank asked.
“It would be, though I admit it would be tight. That’s why I’m in the process of looking for another job right now,” Nathan said quickly. “I want to make this as comfortable for Allegra – and Jenna – as possible.”
“With that being said, are we going to work out child support?” Mr. Shawshank asked.
“I’d like to,” Nathan said before I was able to answer. “I want to be there for my daughter as much as possible, and I’m not going to shy away from the financial aspect of it.”
“How hard is that to set up?” I asked. “I never asked for it.”
“You don’t have to ask if he’s going to offer,” Miss Ferguson said. “It doesn’t take long, it’s just a matter of working out how much we’re going to pay each month, when you’re going to get the payment, and what course of action we’re going to take if the payments aren’t being made.”
I felt a knot in my stomach. That didn’t sound like anything I wanted to get in to – but I knew I had to do what was best for Allegra, and if he was going to work with the lawyers to make it happen, then I wasn’t going to fight him on it. Neither of us wanted to fight with each other on anything, and I had a feeling he was going to set up the payments whether I wanted the money or not.
“It’s really Allegra’s money, after all,” Nathan said as he turned to me. “She needs it.”
“I appreciate it,” I said with a nod. I was too tired to argue.
“So can we set up a start date for visitation?” Nathan asked eagerly as he turned back to the lawyers.
“That’s up to the mother. I’m going to advise that you get a job as soon as possible, but if she feels that your residence is safe and you are able to care for the child, then we can put something in place today for you to see her,” Mr. Shawshank said.
“How do you feel?” he turned to me, and I sighed. I could feel Nathan looking at me, too, and Miss Ferguson. I didn’t want to be such the center of attention, and I felt put on the spot. But, I also felt that Nathan would take care of Allegra with everything he had in him, and she would be safe if she went to his house.
“I think it’s safe,” I said at last.
“Don’t feel pressured into this,” Mr. Shawshank said. “If you want an inspection done before you sign the papers, we can arrange for that to happen.”
“Would you be willing for that?” Miss Ferguson turned to Nathan, who quickly nodded.
“Yes, definitely,” he said. “Anything to make you feel the place is safe for Allegra.”
“No,” I shook my head. “That’s not necessary, really. I trust that it’s safe. It’s just going to be an adjustment.”
“Hopefully a good one,” Nathan said with a smile. He put his hand on my shoulder, and once more, I felt the rush through my body. It was electrifying, so much like the night we hooked up for the first time. I smiled at him despite the fact I was tired, and we started working out the details for shared custody.
By the time we left, it was agreed that she would go see him two days during the week and every other weekend. It was going to be hard for me, but I knew that it was what was best for her. Not to mention, it was going to give me a couple of days out of the week to spend some time on myself – and catching up on the other things that I was falling behind on.
I carried Allegra out on my hip, thinking about what it would be like to leave her with her father. I wasn’t sad about it, but I didn’t know what I felt. Something told me that it was the right thing to do, though, and in the end, this was going to be the best decision for everyone.
After all, I was able to adjust to her coming into my life, now I was going to adjust to sharing her.
Little steps, but we were making it work.
Chapter 15
Nathan
I followed Jenna out the door with a smile on my face. This was all moving so much faster than I thought, and I was happy with how smooth things were going. I was thrilled Jenna had signed the papers to let me see Allegra so much, but now that we were getting ready to part ways, I didn’t want to see her go.
“That was easier than I thought it would be,” she said when we stopped in front of my bike. “They kept saying that it was going to take so long to work out, but we basically just did.”
“I think they can see that we are doing it for the good of Allegra. If we were fighting over the details and everything, it would probably take a lot longer,” I replied. “I’m sure they’ve seen it all.”
“I’m sure they have,” she agreed. “There’s still a few things that I want to talk to you about, do you want to come over for dinner?”
“Right now?” I asked in surprise, and she nodded.
“Unless you’ve got something else you’ve got to do,” she said. “If now’s not a good time, then I can wait.”
“No, now would be great,” I said with a grin. “Do you want me to just follow you to your place?”
“Sure,” she said. “I don’t have to work tomorrow, so if you want to stay for a bit, you’re welcome.”
“I’ll try not to take up too much of your time,” I said. She nodded and put Allegra in the car, and then she climbed into the driver’s seat. I got on top of my bike and pulled out of the parking lot behind her, eager to see where my daughter had been raised for the first two years of her life.
We pulled up in front of an apartment complex. It was small, but it was clean. There was a playground and a picnic table out front, a couple of kids playing in the sandbox as we walked toward the door. Jenna smiled and waved at them on our way by, but we didn’t stay to talk.
“It’s not much, but I think you’ll find it suitable,” Jenna said when we arrived.
“Clearly, since you’ve been doing this on your own for the past couple years,” I said as she unlocked the door. I was nervous to be there, that was for sure. I knew we had a truce going with The Enemies MC, but I didn’t know what would happen if we ran into Blaze again.
I knew he certainly didn’t want to see me, and I wasn’t going to get in a fight in front of my daughter. I didn’t care what he said to me, I was going to hold it together when she was around, as long as he didn’t do anything to Jenna.
“I like it,” I said as I looked around. It was simple. Easily decorated, but clearly with things that she would have gotten at the thrift store. It was small, but there was enough space for her and Allegra. The place had two bedrooms and one bathroom, a small kitchen that hooked right onto the living room, and a space Jenna had turned into a dining room.
“I wanted to make it feel bigger in here, so I set it up with several more rooms than the place was intended to have,” Jenna explained. “Come on, I’ll show you Allegra’s room.”
She led me to a small bedroom right next to the bathroom. I assumed the doorway next to Allegra’s was her own bedroom, and I had to try not to be nosey when I walked by. I didn’t want her to think that I was snooping or invading her privacy, but I did want to see what her bedroom was like.
Though I admired her for what she’d gone through, I did see an innocence about her. Even now, she wasn’t very old. But then, neither was I. We were both trying to figure out how to work our way through this, and it wasn’t easy.
“It’s cute,” I said as I looked around the room. “I like what you’ve done with the place.”
“I think it turned out pretty good for what I had to work with,” Jenna said. “I didn’t have a lot in the beginning, and my brother wasn’t too keen on helping me at first. He came around the further along I got, but it did take some time, so I had to scrape together the money I had to work with.”
“It’s cute,” I said again. She had a small bed in the corner of the room, along with a toy box in the corner. There were toys scattered around, and a small dresser. It was perfect for a little girl’s room, that was for sure. I could see things in it that I wanted to create for her in my own space. For a brief moment, I really couldn’t wait to get down to decorating.
“So about your place,” Jenna said as she walked back toward the dining room.
“What about it?” I asked.
“I would like to see it for myself before I let Allegra come over. I know what I said to the lawyer today, but I didn’t think that a full inspection was necessary. I do want to see it myself though,” she said quietly. Once again, I could see how nervous she was. She really didn’t want to fight about any of this, but she didn’t really want to send her daughter off to a house that was two hours away without seeing it herself first.
“That would be great. Maybe you can give me some advice on what to get for her,” I said. “Like I said earlier, I do get disability from the military, and though I want to get a job as soon as possible, it does pay the bills to keep a roof over my head.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” she replied. She pulled out some pots and pans and started making spaghetti, and I was thrilled when Allegra came over to play with me. I was glad she was was outgoing for a two-year-old. It was hard trying to step into her life without knowing what it would mean for any of us.
“Is it child safe?” Jenna asked after being silent in the kitchen for a few minutes. “I mean, no offense, but you’ve been living there alone for a while, so I don’t expect it to be.”
“It’s getting that way,” I assured her. “My best friend has been pushing me to get the place ready for a kid ever since I told him that I was going to get to see her. I want her to be safe, don’t worry. And, I’ll make sure it happens.”
“How big is it?” she asked. I chuckled.
“A little bigger than this place. I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you come see it tomorrow? You said that you don’t have to work, so that would give you time for the drive without you being rushed through it,” I said.
“That sounds good to me,” I replied. “What’s your schedule like? I mean, what’s it going to be like so we have something to plan on?”
“It’s pretty open right now. When I get a job, we’re going to have to talk about it. Two hours is a drive, but it’s not anything I’m too upset about. I’ll come down here and pick her up if I need to in order to make it easier on you,” I said with another smile. “I don’t mind, at all.”
“Do you have a car?” she asked in surprise.
“It’s not really anything to write home about, but it gets the job done,” I said. “You know how much it sucks to deal with a bike in the changing weather.”
She nodded. “You got that right.”
She finished cooking our meal and served the plates on the dining room table. I tried not to let myself think about how domestic it felt when we all sat down. She fed Allegra little bits of the cut up spaghetti while she ate her own in between, and I was sure to heavily compliment her cooking. I didn’t want to seem ungrateful, and it was better than my own cooking, that was for damn sure.
After dinner, she showed me her nightly routine with Allegra, putting her through the bath and getting her dressed and her hair combed. She then took her to bed and read her a book. I was amazed with how easily Allegra went to sleep, and I couldn’t help but drop a kiss on her forehead before I headed out to the living room.
“Do you have to go so soon?” Jenna asked. “I know you’ve got a bit of a ride ahead of you.”
“No, I’m still used to being up all night,” I said. “I can stay for a bit longer and talk.”
“I think we’ve got a lot of this worked out,” she replied. “I mean, now that we know what we’re going to do through the week and on the weekends, and you’re going to get a job and everything. It’s just details that we have to finalize.”
“It’s going to work out,” I assured her. “Really, I know that it is. I’m going to go shopping first thing in the morning and get what I want for her. Then when you arrive, you can tell me how you feel about it. If there’s anything you don’t like, we can change it, no problem.”
Jenna nodded. I knew this was hard for her. I couldn’t imagine what it must be like to have your life changed so much in just a couple short weeks. But, she was doing it with a smile on her face and only the best intentions for Allegra in her heart.
Now, it was my turn to step up and be the dad I should have been all along, and I was going to do so with everything I had in me. I didn’t care what it cost, or how much work I had to put into it. I was going to make it happen. For Jenna, for Allegra.
Not even the MC would be able to change my mind now that our plan was in motion, and I was proud. This was my family – my real family – and both of these girls deserved nothing but the best.
I no longer thought of Allegra as a mistake or an accident. She was the best thing that ever happened in my life, and I would tell anyone who said otherwise to fuck off. For as hard as it had been for me to accept all this, I now embraced it with everything I had to give.
That little girl lying in the other room was my daughter. And this woman on the couch beside me was the mother of my child. By the time I left, giving her just a hug didn’t feel like it was enough, but I made myself stick to it.
Perhaps we could be friendly with each other beyond just parenting Allegra. I’d never push her for it, but I wasn’t going to turn her down, either. I still thought she was the hottest woman I’d ever seen, and I was proud she was the mother of my child. Proud for what we’d done, even if it wasn’t the best time for us to have done it.
Hell, I was the proudest man on the planet, and nothing could touch me in my happiness. Nothing at all.
Chapter 16
Jenna
If I was perfectly honest with myself, I had to admit that it was difficult for me to make the drive up to Santa Rosa. It was hard because I only told Khloe I was going, and I knew I didn’t belong. It didn’t matter that Nathan had told me he wanted me to come up and see his place.
The only real reason I was doing it was for my daughter. I had to make sure it was entirely safe for her, and for as awkward as that was going to be, I was determined.
I followed the GPS to his address, glad to see that it was in a part of down that looked safe. I was worried with all the rival MCs in the area, but I didn’t really want to let myself think anyone would do anything to Allegra. But still, I was happy with the little apartment complex, the yard in front, and the trees that lined the drive on the way there.
It wasn’t exactly the sort of place I would refer to as homey, but it would work. If things were as good on the inside as they were on the outside, I would be willing to allow my daughter to stay.
Nathan was waiting for us on the front steps. He had a coffee in his hand, which he offered to me as I got out and made my way toward the door. “I hope it was easy enough for you to find.”
But, the first thing I noticed about him was the fact that he wasn’t wearing his prosthetic. It was the first time I’d seen him without it, and though I knew he didn’t have an arm, it was still a bit of a shock to see it in person. I didn’t find it to be any sort of turnoff, but I wondered why he didn’t have it on.
