Ultimate mc romance coll.., p.168
Ultimate MC (Romance Collection), page 168
“Look, why don’t you do what you think is best, and I’m going to grab a beer out of the fridge. Do you want one?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he said.
There was a small refrigerator we kept in the garage, only filled with beer. I walked over and grabbed a couple before returning to where Spencer was tweaking the handle on the bike, then I sighed. There wasn’t much I could do with one arm, so I opened my beer and leaned against the tool box, trying not to feel as though he was fixing a wheelchair for me.
I sipped on the beer as I flipped through the social media I had on my phone. I wasn’t ever on much, but it was nice to flip through the pages and see what was going on with people I once thought were connections.
Some faces I wondered why I had on my list, others just popped up as people I might know. Then, I saw someone had put up pictures from the charity ride we had done a month before for the children’s wing of the local hospital.
Wonder if they got the guy with only one arm riding? Bet that would be rich. Caption it with something saying how nice it is to see the needy helping the needy, I thought.
I opened the folder and flipped through the photos, hoping there weren’t any close up photos of me. There were pictures of the riders as a whole, but anything that I showed up in was too far away or at the wrong angle to see that I only had one arm.
That made me feel a bit better, though it was really the photos of the kids in the hospital that caught my eye. I hated doing charity work. But, I had done it because that’s what Carl wanted. Then again, seeing all the smiling faces of the kids in their beds did make it a little more worth my time.
“Fuck!” I said. I nearly dropped my phone, flipping it three times with my hand before I got a good grip on it.
“Fuck’s wrong with you?” Spencer asked as he looked over.
“Nothing,” I lied. I went in for a closer look, trying to see if I really saw what I thought. My stomach tied itself in a knot when I confirmed that I did. It was that girl: the girl I’d never forgotten about. The girl who I’d spent that amazing three days with a few years back before I was deployed.
I’d thought about her often when I was overseas, wondering if there was a way she and I would ever get to see each other again. I wondered what she was doing with her time, what had ever happened to her.
The entire weekend, neither of us had really given the other any real details about ourselves, we just talked about the moment, and that’s how I had wanted it. Now, she was smiling with a little kid in the photo. They were both looking at the camera, and though it wasn’t a good picture of either, it was enough to make my heart race and my palms sweat.
It wasn’t the fact that there was a kid in the photo with her arms wrapped around Jenna that bothered me, or even the fact that that girl had been at the charity event and I didn’t see her. It was the emblem that was on the shoulder of her jacket that caught my eye and made me taste bile.
She was one of them.
She was an Enemy.
Chapter 4
Jenna
“Come on, baby, let’s get inside. It’s hot out here,” I said with a weary smile as I pulled Allegra out of her car seat. She wrapped her arms around me and we ducked inside the ice cream parlor.
The blast of cool air from the air conditioning system was welcome relief from the blazing heat that beat relentlessly down. It was hot, again, and though I knew it was my choice to live in northern California, I was getting tired of the lack of cool air.
It wasn’t hot all year round. In fact, there was snowfall just an hour’s drive away from us some of the year. But during the summer months, I felt like we were trapped in the middle of the Sahara Desert and may as well be riding camels.
But, between my busy work schedule and taking care of my daughter, I did take the time out of my day to break for ice cream whenever we could.
Today, we were meeting with Blaze, my older brother. Blaze had been many things in my life. He was my brother, he had played the role of my father when our actual father passed, he was my support system, and now he was a doting uncle.
In a way, he was almost the co-parent Allegra didn’t have in her life.
It was a complete change from how he was when he found out I was pregnant. At first, he was pissed. So pissed, in fact, he didn’t speak to me for a month. He gave me lecture after lecture about the whole thing – how could I be so irresponsible? How could I just hook up randomly like that? How could I let this happen?
Needless to say, it had been a problem for both of us. I was pissed off at the judgment I felt he gave me, and I knew he was pissed because he felt that I’d ruined my life.
At the same time, I also had no idea what I was going to do.
There I was, an eighteen-year-old young woman who didn’t have anyone to support me. The father of my child was gone, and as far as I knew, I was never going to see him again. We hadn’t exchanged any contact information, and he was going into the military.
Even if he didn’t get himself killed while he was serving, he was going to be gone for years. How the hell would I track him down, and at that point, did it even matter?
But then, things got worse between me and my brother again. Once he started talking to me about the pregnancy, he wanted to know who the father was. I wouldn’t have had any issue telling him – except for the glaring memory in the back of my mind of Nathan being a Folded Flag.
Sure, Blaze wouldn’t have been happy to meet any guy who got me pregnant, but the fact that he was part of the rival MC was enough to make him not only want to murder Nathan, but me, as well. I wanted him to accept my child, and I didn’t want who her father was to matter.
I was prepared to take on the entire pregnancy – and the idea of motherhood – alone, but when it got to the point when I really needed Blaze, he came through. It was subtle at first. He would start texting me and asking me how I was doing. Then, he started bringing me food and other things I needed so I didn’t have to go out.
After that, he started going to my doctor appointments with me, driving the car and making sure I was comfortable. He was the support system I needed, and I made it through. As difficult as it was, I made it through.
When Allegra was born, it was my brother who was there waiting for me outside. He was the proud man in the photos holding her when the photographer showed up, and he didn’t let anyone give me any grief over the fact that she didn’t have a father there for her.
He was all I could have asked for.
Now, Allegra was two years old, and she loved seeing her Uncle Blaze. We didn’t get to see him as often as either of us would have liked, but we still made time every couple weeks to get together and touch base. Since Blaze was still a very active member of the MC and I was struggling to make ends meet as a single mother, getting together had to be planned in advance.
“Uncle!” Allegra shouted when we walked in. I was glad Blaze was there already. I was worn out from the heat and my day, and I was ready to sit down.
“Do you want to go with your uncle and get ice cream?” I asked.
“Come here, pumpkin,” Blaze said as he took her from me. “You look tired.”
“I am tired,” I said. “Can you take her up front to get the ice cream?”
“What do you want?” he asked. He was holding my daughter above his head and she giggled.
“Pink!” she laughed.
“Cotton candy,” I said. “I think. I’ll just take something vanilla.”
“Great,” Blaze replied. “Sit down, and we’ll be right back.”
“Thanks,” I breathed. I sat and took a deep breath. As a single mother, I loved having a few minutes to myself to sit down and just chill out. It was hard running around, trying to wrangle a two-year-old when I was trying to relax after a long day at work.
But, as a mother, I had to make it happen.
“Mommy! I got pink!” Allegra shouted as she came bounding back to the table.
“Yes, you did!” I said happily. “Thanks.”
I took the ice cream from my brother, and the three of us sat down to enjoy it. Well, I was doing my best to enjoy it. It was hard to enjoy much of anything when I had to keep an eagle eye on Allegra. She was old enough to insist she sit in a regular adult chair when she still didn’t have the greatest of coordination.
“Do you want some?” she asked as she pushed the ice cream toward my face.
“I’ve got my own, sweetie,” I said in a tired voice. I knew how to smile when I spoke, however, that satisfied her. She was too young to know how hard it was for me to raise her on my own. Besides, it wasn’t her fault I had her when I was little more than a kid myself.
She was a happy child, and I was glad for it.
“That MC charity ride brought in so much money for the hospital,” my brother said. I knew it wasn’t going to be long before he started talking about the club. He knew that I didn’t care for it much. I never had, but it was even less important to me now that I had my daughter.
Without Dad in the picture and my time consumed elsewhere, I didn’t have the time to worry about what was going on with the club.
“That’s great,” I said. “I heard that it did well. I’m happy to be able to help those kids. I mean, I know what it was like to have to rely on the charity of others.”
“I know,” he said. “But there’s even better news.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. It brought a lot of good coverage for the MC. I mean, if Marcus could do these kinds of things more often, we’d be put in a much better light with the public than what we normally deal with. That would be freaking awesome.” He sat back on the chair and scooped a spoonful of the ice cream. “Can you imagine if we could make the same impression on society as the Flags?”
“I’m not sure why they get to be the heroes, anyway. They do just as much stuff as the rest of us.” I had to watch my language around my daughter. She was getting old enough to repeat the things that I said, and I didn’t want her to have my biker mouth when she was just a little girl.
“Because Carl gets to grab the attention for all the good things that go on, even if we are the ones behind it,” he rolled his eyes. “The guy knows how to work the system, and he does it well.”
“That’s stupid,” I said. “Really.”
“Yeah, you’ve got that right.” He crushed the carton his ice cream had been in before throwing it away. “But if we can turn the tables, we might have a bit better coverage.”
“What benefit is that going to be for us?”
“It’s going to make it a lot easier for us to get into places without the entire town freaking out about it. If we play our cards right, we might even be able to expand the turf,” Blaze said. I knew he wanted to be part of that. He wanted to rise in the club, though he didn’t have much hope of ever being leader.
Then again, since Marcus’ daughter had run off with one of the Flags, the position was more open than it had been. Her twin brother, Vance, was in line, but if he didn’t want it – or if something were to happen to him – then it would be completely open to the top bidder.
But then, we didn’t see there ever being something bad to happen to Vance.
“Not a bad idea,” I said. I was only half listening. I hardly rode my bike anymore, anyway. I rode in the charity ride with them, but that was for my brother. He wanted me to represent our father since we were the only two family members left.
Though the entire MC felt like nothing more than an adopted family to me, I wanted to be there for my brother. He’d done enough for me through the birth of my daughter, I was willing to do something for him.
The truth was, however, he had my bike in his garage, and I didn’t really intend to use it again. The only reason I hadn’t sold it yet was because of the fact Blaze wanted me to keep it. If he didn’t care, then I would have been happy to sell the thing and use some of the money for the hospital bills I was dealing with.
The car that I purchased had been cheap, and it was far more sensible to use with Allegra than a bike. Hell, I never thought the day would come when I’d be making those kinds of decisions when I was only twenty-one years old. So many of my friends were still living it up, going to parties and doing their thing, not bothering with the heaviness of responsibility.
But not me. I was a mother with a two-year-old daughter at twenty-one. Instead of going out to the bar and having drinks until one in the morning, I was living like I was a fifty-year-old woman. I didn’t want to think about how hard it was or how unfair that made my life compared to others.
Nathan didn’t have to deal with any of this. Sure, I didn’t tell him that he was a father, so I really couldn’t hold him responsible. But at the same time, I wondered what he’d do if he knew that he had a child.
He had to be twenty-three or so by now. He told me at one point during our three day excursion that he was twenty at the time. So, he had been able to live his twenty-first year without the burden of another person depending on him entirely.
I sighed. It was hard not to think about him – to wonder what had become of him. For all I knew, he could have been killed. Maybe he didn’t even get to live to see his twenty-first year, himself.
My phone buzzed, and I checked it. Blaze was always talking about his own thing so deeply he didn’t care if I checked a text or two when he was talking, so I didn’t mind taking a peek. It was Khloe.
Hey, stranger. It’s been too long, and you and I need to hang out. That is all.
I smiled. I liked how straightforward she was with everything. She, too, however, didn’t have to deal with the same burden in life that I did. It was hard not to have a growing resentment toward the world with all that I had to deal with.
Soon! Come on over anytime. You know my schedule is free (when I’ve got my daughter).
She was one of the few people who didn’t mind hanging out with me and Allegra both. She was willing to set aside the party life to hang out, and I was glad for it. At the same time, I didn’t know when I’d be free to just hang out with her again.
I had to work. I had to make ends meet. I had to make sure my daughter was taken care of more than myself. That was life.
“Everything alright?” Blaze’s voice cut into my thoughts, and I quickly put my phone away with a smile.
“Yeah, sorry. I was just checking in with Khloe,” I said.
“You should hang out with her. It’s been a while since I’ve heard you talk about how she’s doing,” he said. He didn’t want me to end up the old woman trapped in a young woman’s body, so he often encouraged me to get out with friends.
“I will,” I promised. I didn’t know when I’d make good on that promise, but I knew it was easier to promise I’d do it than to explain to him yet again why I couldn’t.
“Good,” he said with a smile. He launched back into his admiration of our MC, and I put my phone away, watching Allegra eat her ice cream. I didn’t mind listening to him ramble, it was just hard for me to pay attention when I didn’t care that much.
But, he cared enough to ask me about my friends, so I should show him the same gesture.
Even if he was talking about a club I blamed for my life being so hard. It was our family’s place in society, and there wasn’t anything I could do to change that. Just like my situation in life, and the challenges I faced, I had to do my best.
But it was so. Fucking. Hard.
Chapter 5
Nathan
I sat straight up in bed, my dream fading quickly. It was another wet dream. I’d had many of them since I saw Jenna online. She had been on my mind almost constantly, and I wasn’t sure what to do about it. I kept reliving those three days that she and I had spent together, yearning for more time.
But, there were so many obstacles that stood in the way. I didn’t know a thing about her these days. She was clearly part of the Enemy MC. She had ridden in the charity. Who was this kid that was in the photo with her? I wondered. She was at a children’s hospital, so it was feasible that it was one of the children who had been helped by the ride.
The staff had given us the option to go say hey to the patients who were there, but I hadn’t wanted to. I didn’t want to tell the kids why I only had one arm, and I didn’t want the pity from the staff members in the process.
Then again, how could someone like Jenna still be single? She had been amazing. Perfect. She had been everything that I had ever wanted in a woman, though even at the time I hadn’t considered there ever being more between us.
All I knew was that I wanted to meet her again, and now that I saw her online, I knew she was still around. But, her profile on all social media was locked down. She didn’t share where she lived, she didn’t share whether she was with someone…she didn’t share a goddamn thing that I found helpful.
The only thing I could do was to go see her myself. And, I had half a mind to do it. I just didn’t know if that was the most stupid thing I could do or not. Part of me knew that it was a bad idea. Part of me felt like a real hypocrite. Hell, I was still pissed off with Zach for what he had done to the MC.
Then again, there was a part of me that wanted to use Zach as an excuse. He had gotten away with it and things had turned out fine, so why couldn’t I? It was all so frustrating, and it only added to the angst I felt because of my arm.
What would Jenna think of the fact that I only had one arm these days? What would she have to say about that? What would she do? Would she still find me as attractive as she had when we were together before? Would she even give me the time of day – especially if she had a man with all his limbs?
I sighed. The only thing I could do would be to get advice. And the only person I knew who would give me sound advice was Isaac.
He and I had reconnected after I got out of the military. He was one of the only reasons I was still as relatively sane as I was. He didn’t care that I lost an arm, and almost in a gesture of parental care, he told me he thought it was badass that I had.
