Lucky break clean slate.., p.14
Lucky Break (Clean Slate Ranch), page 14
Pies had been his specialty at the saloon.
Only about three inches long, the wooden pie slice fit easily in his jeans pocket, so he carried it with him to the kitchen and got started on that morning’s meal prep. Patrice showed up at six thirty like clockwork to chill in her rocking chair, even though Shawn saw how hungry she was to help. He imagined after doing this for so many years, she couldn’t stay away, despite being unable to assist him.
Maybe in another week, she could help stir the reconstituted orange juice in its pitcher. Simple tasks she could complete with her left hand only.
The rooster call went off at seven fifteen, which helped wake up guests for breakfast at eight. The first time Shawn had heard the thing, it had scared the shit out of him but now he knew to expect it. Every Monday, though, Patrice said at least one guest complained about falling out of his or her bunk.
Robin showed up a little later than the other hands, and he flashed Shawn an apologetic smile that silently promised they were going to talk about yesterday. Good. Shawn had hated feeling like Robin was blowing him off, and the whittled pie slice had been a good step toward closing whatever distance yesterday had created between them.
After breakfast Robin stuck around to help Shawn clean up, and they worked in companionable silence until Patrice excused herself. Once they were alone, Shawn turned to face Robin, and they both said, “I’m sorry about yesterday,” in stereo.
“You don’t have to apologize for anything,” Robin said. “Yesterday was all me.”
“I could have knocked on your cabin door, or gotten your phone number from someone and called you.”
“I was not in a good head space yesterday. Keeping my distance was so I didn’t take my bad mood out on you. But I do think now you were right about me helping Mack with the rodeo. I think it’ll help me heal and let a few things go.”
“Really?” Shawn’s heart gave a happy lurch. “I’m glad.”
“Yeah.” Robin leaned his hip against the counter. “I called my former brother-in-law yesterday. Xander’s older brother. To see if he’d offer his thoughts, too.”
“Yeah? How did that call go?”
“Really well, actually. We’d stopped talking for a while because hearing his voice hurt too much. But...we’re going to get together at some point. Be friends again. I’ve missed him.”
The wistfulness in Robin’s voice wrapped a slim tendril of jealousy around Shawn’s heart. “That’s great.”
“It is. After talking to him, though, I needed to be alone, so I took two horses out to see if I could work with them on riding tricks. But I was still a little worked up after and when I didn’t see you at the barbecue, I went back to my cabin to be alone.”
Shawn squeezed Robin’s forearm. “I was hiding in here during the barbecue because I was anxious about you avoiding me all day, so I think we’re even.”
“I guess. And how about we exchange phone numbers, so at the very least, we can text if we can’t talk in person?”
“Great plan.” They did just that. Shawn swapped out his phone for the pie slice. “I love this, by the way. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I wasn’t sure what to carve, and pie seemed appropriate.” Robin’s gaze dropped to Shawn’s mouth. “Care to compliment the carver?”
Shawn grinned and leaned in.
“Mr. Shawn?” Ellie’s voice broke them apart. The girl stood in the frame of the kitchen doorway, hands clasped in front of her. “I know you’re working and stuff but will you keep teaching me and Eric to play chess?”
“Of course I will,” Shawn replied. “Are you guys doing the camping trip today?”
“No, Mom says it’ll be too cold, but the weather looks better for the Wednesday trip.”
“Okay, then why don’t you go set up the board, and I’ll be out in a few minutes.”
“Okay!” She darted out of sight.
“You’re teaching kids to play chess?” Robin asked.
“Yeah, I saw them fiddling with the game yesterday and ended up showing them how to move the pieces and think ahead.” Shawn paused before sharing this bit of himself. “I used to play with my grandfather at night. Just the two of us, snacking on cheese and crackers, not really playing to win. Just to spend time together. I haven’t played since I left home, and to be honest, I was a little down yesterday because I started missing my family.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you.”
“It’s okay, you had your stuff to deal with.” And Shawn was fully capable of dealing with his own stuff without Robin’s help. “I did call Granddad, though, just to hear his voice.”
“I’m glad you can still call him. Hear his voice.”
Shawn leaned his shoulder against Robin’s. “Thanks. So we were both off yesterday, and now we’re back on the same page.”
“Yes, we are. I’m also doing the overnight camping trip tonight, but do you wanna hang out together tomorrow night?”
“Definitely.”
“Excellent.” Robin gazed around the empty kitchen, and then he planted a soft kiss on Shawn’s mouth. “I’ll be back with the chuck wagon in about an hour.”
“I’ll be here.”
Shawn briefly admired Robin’s ass as the man left the kitchen, before heading into the main area to teach the twins more about chess. And as it turned out, no one signed up for that night’s camping trip—it was supposed to be cold and windy—so Shawn got the pleasure of chatting with Robin over lunch and dinner that night. Robin even helped him clean up so they could go to Shawn’s cabin together.
Where they made up for barely speaking yesterday by making out for hours on Shawn’s couch. Their erections rubbed together, and very soon Shawn wanted to get his hands on that—and get Robin’s hands on him. Not yet, but soon. It was too huge of a step for Shawn to rush into it.
Their week took on a similar pattern of sharing meals, Shawn teaching the twins chess, and making out in Shawn’s cabin every night. Miles and Reyes were out in the wilds on a three-day horse ride/camping excursion, and Shawn kind of missed his friend but he wasn’t lonely. Colt kept giving them significant looks, but he wasn’t nosy about how close Shawn and Robin were now, and Shawn appreciated that.
Shawn was also getting friendly with some of the other hands, including Hugo and Robin’s roommate, Ernie. And the humor wasn’t lost on Shawn when he belatedly connected the fact that Clean Slate had two ranch hands named Bert and Ernie. And Robin carved him two more gifts: a chef’s knife and a small mug. Shawn wanted to display his collection of wooden objects on the bookshelf, but they were too precious to forget if he had to leave quickly. So he wrapped them in an old T-shirt and kept them in his gym bag.
By the end of the week, Shawn’s great mood was slightly soured, knowing Ellie and Eric were going home today. He’d enjoyed teaching them the game, and Ellie was keen to keep practicing. Eric less so, and Shawn truly hoped she found a good chess partner. He’d miss playing, too. Maybe someone else on the ranch knew how.
Then again, Shawn was also eager to spend as much of his free time as possible with Robin—especially since he didn’t get a lot of it. Thankfully, once the Saturday skeleton crew finished their supper of Leftovers Pie, Robin surprised Shawn with the offer of a proper date.
“Let’s go into San Francisco for a few hours,” Robin said while he helped Shawn load the dishwasher, which was starting to become a new routine of theirs. “We can go to some of the clubs, I can show you off. Show you around.”
Shawn was intimidated by the idea of going to a gay club, and he admitted as much. “I’ve never been to one, never danced and flirted like that. Is it how they show on TV?”
“Depends on where you go. Trust me to keep you safe?”
“Of course.” Shawn was nervous about going out but also excited. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been out on a proper date, and especially not with a guy he was so into. Grinding with Robin on a dance floor was sounding more and more like the best idea ever.
They returned to their respective cabins to change. Shawn didn’t own any sexy club clothes, so he slipped into a clean band T-shirt he’d picked up at a thrift store and finger-combed his hair. Robin had changed into much tighter jeans and a torso-hugging black tee that made Shawn’s mouth water. His dark hair was slicked back, giving him a slightly dangerous look.
Yum.
I want him. And he wants me back.
Robin shocked the hell out of him in the barn-shaped garage where everyone parked their vehicles by leading Shawn to a beautiful, fully restored, cherry-red Mustang convertible. He nearly swooned at the polished interior and leather bucket seats.
“Holy crap, this car is amazing.” Shawn ran his fingers across the shiny radio.
“Thank you. Colt calls it my midlife crisis car. I’d always wanted to own one, so I started saving my salary and bought it.”
Shawn couldn’t imagine having enough money to buy a car like this. Even though he was saving about a hundred-fifty bucks a month by no longer living in his car, burning gas, and buying protein bars, it would take years to build into a significant savings. Arthur and Judson insisted Shawn could live in the cabin rent-free when the ghost town reopened, but Shawn wasn’t sure he could do that. He’d find a way to pay a small amount of rent, even if it was only the hundred bucks he wasn’t spending on gasoline.
He could accept the charity while he worked for the ranch, but after he was no longer directly contributing, Shawn wouldn’t mooch.
He fawned over every detail of the car on the long drive down the dirt track to the main road. And once Robin hit the interstate, Shawn settled into his seat and enjoyed the smooth ride, while a classic rock station played over the radio. “So why this specific car?” Shawn asked.
After a few moments of silence, Robin said, “Saw one on the road once when I was a teenager and it spoke to me. I lusted after this car for years but could never afford it. When I was with Lucky’s, money was tight in the winter, so I saved whatever I made to get through the tough times. After Xander died, it didn’t seem important. Not until I got my head back on right.”
The post-Xander period of Robin’s life intrigued Shawn, because Robin always brushed up against the time period without really talking about it. But were they good enough friends now for Shawn to directly ask? No, that story was one Robin could share when he was ready. It wasn’t as if Shawn had ever admitted to his two years of homelessness.
Some things were private. Period.
They kept up lighter chatter about the present and stayed out of the past for the rest of the drive into San Francisco. Shawn had always looked at the city through the lens of someone trying to keep his head down and survive. Tonight, he gazed out at the lights, buildings, trolleys, and people with a new perspective: that of a tourist. Someone out to enjoy the sights and sounds with a friend. A maybe boyfriend?
Robin took him on a bit of a tour before finding public parking in a very active area. Even on a cold December evening, people were out all over the place this Saturday night, so Shawn stuck close to Robin. And after Shawn saw multiple same-sex couples openly holding hands, he took a chance and held Robin’s.
Robin squeezed back and grinned at him.
They’d both eaten at the guesthouse, so their first stop was a colorful place for drinks and bar nuts, while they talked. Nothing serious really. Shawn talked a bit more about teaching the twins to learn chess, and Robin told him a story about an eighteen-person bridal party they’d hosted two years ago who’d driven the entire ranch nuts with their demands. Polite demands, mostly, but apparently, they’d even tested Patrice’s temper.
Shawn sipped at a virgin margarita while Robin nursed a beer. One of the bartenders was friendly with Robin, which suggested this was a place Robin frequented. After they finished their drinks and paid the tab, Robin led him around more, pointing out stores and restaurants he liked. Their next destination was Club Base, a place that thrummed with music, alcohol, and a sea of dancing men. Some women dotted the crowd, but not many.
“Wanna dance, hot stuff?” Robin asked.
“Uh, can we watch for a while? I’ve never really done this kind of dancing.”
“Sure. I’m going to get another beer. You want something?”
Shawn wasn’t much of a drinker, but a little liquid courage went a long way when it came to trying new things. Problem was he didn’t really know what was good beyond a margarita. “Sure, pick something you think I’ll like.” He winked to suggest the challenge was flirtatious, rather than because Shawn was an idiot about certain things. Sometimes he still couldn’t believe someone as mature and caring as Robin wanted him, but here they were. Together. On a date.
Robin grinned and headed for the bar. Shawn hung out near the entrance, where people were mostly standing in clusters, rather than dancing. A few guys openly cruised Shawn, which was...kind of nice. Usually, Shawn didn’t want to be noticed, but he was in a safe place surrounded by other gay men who wouldn’t be offended if Shawn flirted with them. Not that he wanted to flirt with anyone except Robin tonight.
“You look pretty terrified, honey,” a deep voice said behind him. “First time?”
Shawn turned and blinked at the handsome man in a tight, sparkly purple shirt and multiple facial piercings who gave Shawn a deliberate up-and-down look. “Um, yeah, first time here.”
“I knew I smelled fresh meat.” Purple Tee slid in closer and put a light hand on Shawn’s shoulder. “Buy you a drink?”
“I have a friend bringing me one, but thanks.” Was he supposed to introduce himself? Invite the stranger to join them? Ignore him until he went away?
How can I be twenty-four and this socially awkward? Ugh.
“Shame,” Purple Tee said. “How about a dance? I’d love to see you all hot and sweaty.”
Okay, yeah, the guy was flirting with Shawn. Practically propositioning him, and while the guy was good-looking, and Shawn was flattered by the attention, he was also taken. “No, thanks. I’m here with someone.”
“Even married guys still dance with other men.”
The stranger’s inability to take Shawn’s “no” at face value and buzz off started fucking with Shawn’s fight-or-flight instincts. But Shawn was no longer a vulnerable, impressionable fifteen-year-old who couldn’t afford to lose his job. He was an adult who could defend himself, and he adjusted his posture, hoping he went from uncertain to determined.
“I said no,” Shawn snapped. “Thank you but no.”
Purple Tee frowned. “Yeah, whatever.”
“Problem here?” Robin slid right up beside Shawn and draped an arm across his shoulders. Kissed his cheek. “Sorry I took so long, baby.”
“No problem.” Purple Tee turned and melted into the throng.
Annoyed by Robin playing hero at the last minute, Shawn ducked out from beneath his arm and glared. “I had it under control, Robin.”
Robin gaped at him for a beat. “Sorry, I just...you looked tense, and we’re supposed to be out having fun. It was instinct.”
“I don’t need to be saved. I’ve been taking care of myself for the last five years.”
“Okay, and I really am sorry.” He held out a tall clear glass with something turquoise in it and fixed on an adorable pout. “Peace?”
Some of Shawn’s temper slipped away; Robin’s charm was hard to resist. “Peace.” He sniffed the drink. Kind of fruity. “What is it?”
“Blue Lagoon. It’s a sweeter drink, so it made me think of you. Plus, you said your favorite color is blue.”
That was way more thoughtful than Shawn had expected, so he thanked Robin by kissing his cheek. He sipped the drink, surprised by how much he liked it. The flavor of the liquor was strong to his unpracticed tongue—or maybe the bartenders poured generously here? “It’s really good.”
Robin beamed, clearly proud he’d chosen well. “While I was waiting, my friend Derrick texted me and mentioned he’ll be here tonight. You mind if I tell him we’re already here? He’s a chill guy and a lot of fun to dance with.”
Shawn wanted to say no, this was supposed to be their date, but Robin’s big grin never fell away. Robin was clearly excited to see this friend, and Shawn didn’t want to disappoint Robin, despite a fresh flare of jealousy. “May I ask you a question first?”
“Sure, ask away.”
“How are you going to introduce me?”
Robin’s smile gentled into something tender. Sweet. And he leaned into Shawn’s personal space. “As the guy I’m seeing, unless there’s a bigger word I can use.”
Shawn’s pulse leapt. “A bigger word than guy? Homo sapien?”
“I was thinking boyfriend.”
Warmth spread from Shawn’s chest all the way to his fingers and toes, and he nudged his way closer to Robin. Put his free hand on Robin’s hip. “I like that word. Is it too soon, though? This is our first date.”
“I dunno, I like to think of all the evenings we’ve spent together this past week as dates. We’ve spent time together, made out a lot, watched movies, and talked. All things boyfriends do.”
“True.” Shawn chanced kissing Robin in such a public space, and Robin opened for him. Shawn tasted beer and Robin and it was perfect. His nerves hummed a bit, but Shawn didn’t regret it for a single instant because he was falling for Robin. Robin made him feel safe. Settled. At home. Even if he was a little overprotective at times. But it was a sweet sort of overprotectiveness, not the smothering, manipulative kind like with Beck. Robin actually gave a damn about Shawn.
I want to keep him.
“Text your friend,” Shawn said. “I’m okay with it.”
“Thank you.”
Shawn held Robin’s beer while he texted. Then they waited together, hips touching, while they nursed their drinks and watched other people dance. Shawn listened to the techno music piped over loudspeakers and observed how the beat affected the dancers. He kind of sucked at dancing, in general, but maybe he could do this sort of frenetic, unpracticed dance. A dance that was more of a seduction than anything else.
