Lucky break clean slate.., p.15
Lucky Break (Clean Slate Ranch), page 15
“Hey!” Robin shouted to someone in the crowd. “You didn’t say this was a foursome.”
Shawn followed his gaze to two men making their way toward them, one more familiar than the other, and his heart sank a bit, sure what had briefly been a wonderful date had just come to a screeching end.
Chapter Eleven
Derrick Massey had openly flirted with Shawn back at Thanksgiving, and he was the friend Robin mentioned had texted him earlier. The face Shawn did not expect to see trailing Derrick was Colt’s. The pair was decked out in tight club clothes, and wasn’t Colt engaged? Why was he here?
“Last-minute decision,” Colt replied. “Avery’s got some kind of bug, so he didn’t want me sitting on my ass, possibly getting infected. He gave me permission to come out and dance with Derrick.”
Gave him permission?
Shawn had met Avery several times in person, and the guy was slender and demure—not someone Shawn could see giving other people orders. Then again, he didn’t know crap about the relationship dynamic between Colt and Avery, and it wasn’t his business.
“You mind?” Colt asked Shawn directly.
“Of course not.” Shawn did mind that their twosome was now a foursome, but the other three men seemed excited to be there together.
“Cool,” Derrick said. “Nice to meet you again.” He squeezed Shawn’s hand longer than necessary. “Wanna dance?”
Shawn held up his drink. “In a bit but thanks.”
“Cool. Mind if I steal your boyfriend for a few rounds?”
Robin choked on his beer, then glared at Colt. “Dude.”
Colt only shrugged while fixing on an innocent smile. “Come on, anyone who sees you two together can tell something is going on. Plus, I’m getting really good at telling when one of my friends is secretly dating someone. I totally called it early with Miles and Reyes.”
That didn’t surprise Shawn in the least. Colt had always struck him as a people watcher. “Yes, we’re boyfriends,” Shawn said, surprised at his own boldness. But the word felt right. “So no poaching.”
Colt hooted. “No worries, I’ve got my own great guy at home. Just keep your eye on this one.” He elbowed Derrick. “Might get jealous now that you’ve stolen his fuck buddy away.”
Oh? Oh! Yeah, okay, no wonder Robin wants Derrick here. One more night out with his former fuck buddy before settling in as my boyfriend.
Robin smacked Colt on the back of his head. “Dude, really?”
“What? It’s the truth,” Colt replied. “Come on, let’s dance. I’ve got energy to burn.”
Colt grabbed Derrick’s hand and led him into the dancing throng. Robin hung back and asked, “Are you mad?”
Shawn shook his head. He wasn’t mad, exactly, but he also wasn’t okay. Confused mostly. Robin had declared them boyfriends but he’d also invited an ex to join them? “No, we’re here to have fun, right? Go have fun.”
“Come with me.”
“In a few. I don’t want to waste my drink.”
Robin hesitated a beat before taking his half-empty beer bottle with him and joining his friends. Shawn hung back and sipped his Blue Lagoon, mixed-up and unsure of his place here tonight. He’d begun this date on cloud nine, happy to explore the city with Robin, and now he was watching other people dance while he held up the wall.
Is this normal in gay relationships? One guy goes out with other people while the other stays off to the side?
No, maybe that was how Colt and Avery rolled, but it couldn’t be everyone. Miles and Reyes didn’t. They were so closely knit and in-synch they were practically one person. No, Shawn had stupidly hoped for a two-person date with just him and Robin, but Robin had other ideas. Ideas that included a former fuck buddy.
Shawn gulped down the rest of his drink, then ordered another at the bar. Gulped that, too. The liquor took the edge off his confusion and made the lights seem brighter, more interesting. The dancing, too. He eventually found his way to Robin, Colt, and Derrick, and he was included in their mix of grinding bodies. Shawn wasn’t very good but he tried. Being tipsy helped, and eventually a shot of something—had Colt said SoCo and lime?—burned down his throat.
That helped, too. It mattered less that Shawn was surrounded by strangers.
Robin held him by the hips and crushed their groins together in a simulation of sex that both turned Shawn on and made him self-conscious. But this was something Robin enjoyed doing, so Shawn would try. Robin was also a hell of a dancer, moving fluidly from Shawn to Colt to Derrick, and then back again, changing his dancing style to match his partner’s with an ease Shawn envied.
Other men drifted in and out of their quartet, and Shawn occasionally found himself ass-to-groin with a stranger. It unnerved him at first, until he caught Robin’s hungry gaze on him. Watching. Apparently enjoying the view. Shawn had never been much of an exhibitionist, but he didn’t mind performing a bit for Robin. This was a completely new experience for him, and Shawn rode it for all it was worth.
At some point—and after Shawn tossed back at least two more shots—Derrick and Robin ended up thrusting groin to groin, practically fucking with their clothes on, and a hot flash of jealousy burned through Shawn’s chest. Jealousy he wasn’t sure what do to with. Hadn’t Shawn consented to all this dancing and groping by joining in without a word? Could he tell Robin this was too much, when they’d only known each other three weeks? Only been boyfriends for two hours?
Colt draped himself over Shawn’s back in a light hold, hands on Shawn’s hips but he kept his groin out of things. “They’re sexy together, aren’t they?” he said into Shawn’s ear. “We’ve all been coming out like this for about a year.”
Shawn had no idea what to say to that. It was simple information about the two men, but what was Shawn supposed to do with it? Was Colt telling him Robin would always want to club? To fuck around? Would Robin be exclusive with Shawn? Had he been since they met?
The idea of Robin fucking around with other people while they were figuring things out horrified Shawn. If Robin still had fuck buddies on the side, maybe that was why he was fine with them just making out and not having sex. Maybe Shawn was just a fun distraction for Robin, and Shawn had read too much into their relationship. A cold flash of anxiety shot through his chest, and Shawn’s hands started trembling.
“Shawn?” Colt turned him around to face Colt, his blue eyes wary. “You’re not used to this, are you?”
“No.” Shawn didn’t know exactly which “this” Colt was referencing. Dating? Dancing? Being with a guy period? But his answer applied to any possible question. “I’m not used to this at all. Any of this. It’s like an alien planet.”
“Does Robin know that?”
Shawn shrugged, trying to tamp down on his urgent need to flee. To find a dark corner to sit in until this episode passed. “I don’t know. Probably not. But he was excited to do this tonight, so I thought I’d be a good sport and play along. I guess I’m not used to all this open display of affection. Touching and stuff.”
“Got it. It can be a culture shock if you aren’t used to it. Small-town dude?”
“Living in a lonely world.”
Colt laughed at the song reference. “Just don’t take any midnight trains on your own. Do you wanna stop dancing and get a drink? Don’t worry, if you and Robin are solid all he’ll do is dance. He’s a good guy.”
Shawn was definitely thirsty and needed the distraction, but... “I don’t think I should have any more alcohol. I feel fuzzy.”
“We’ll get you a water then. Come on.” Colt steered him toward the bar and the sweet relief of a chilled bottle of water, while Colt ordered a beer. They silently watched their friends dance, and that cold flare of panic in his chest battled hotly with the jealousy burning in Shawn’s gut.
* * *
Robin noted when Shawn and Colt left their throng, and he was silently grateful to Colt for sticking close to Shawn. Shawn had been a confusing mix of excited and wary all evening, especially after Colt and Derrick joined them. And okay, it wasn’t the best way to spend a first date, but Robin had every intention of making it up to Shawn when they were alone again.
Plus, he hadn’t seen Derrick in a couple of weeks, and it had been ages since he, Robin, and Colt had all been out together like this.
Derrick’s hands squeezed the top of his ass in a familiar way as they moved to the music, groin to groin, chest occasionally bumping. It reminded Robin of all the fantastic sex they’d had off and on this past year, hooking up to help the other scratch a particular itch. They were both bi and both frequently into women, too, but damn if Derrick didn’t know how to fuck Robin into the mattress.
But Derrick was off-limits now that Robin had a boyfriend, and he still couldn’t quite wrap his head around that. Boyfriend. It had been a long damned time since Robin had been anyone’s boyfriend, but so far he seemed to be doing an okay job of it.
“This doesn’t seem like Shawn’s scene,” Derrick said now that they were alone. “You didn’t have to bring someone to make me jealous, you know I’m a sure thing.”
“To what?” Robin nearly tripped over his own feet. “What do you mean make you jealous? Shawn and I are dating.”
“Sure you are, Mr. Sex Without Complications.”
Okay, so Robin had said that a lot to Derrick in the past. A guy could change his mind, though, right? “I like Shawn. A lot.”
Derrick’s eyes narrowed and his movements slowed. “Why? Don’t get me wrong, he’s cute and all, but he doesn’t seem your type.”
“Why?” Robin teased. “Because he’s not a big, buff guy like you?”
“Yes.”
“We talk about things. Real-life things that matter, not just surface stuff. He makes me feel good about myself.” Robin couldn’t believe he was having this conversation in the middle of a dance floor, surrounded by hot, gyrating men, any one of whom Robin could probably seduce on his worst day. Hell, he had a hot, gyrating man in his arms right now.
But there was only one guy Robin wanted to go home with and seduce tonight, and that guy was off somewhere else in the club.
“You’ve been a good friend to me,” Robin said closer to Derrick’s ear. “A really good friend, and I want to stay friends. But I’m dating Shawn and no one else. Okay?”
“Yeah, okay.” Derrick grinned, disappointment shining in his dark eyes. “I can respect that.”
“Thank you.” Robin planted a big, wet kiss on his cheek before pulling away. “We’ll always have our good times here, but I need to go find my guy.”
“Sure. Go.” Derrick slid easily into the arms of someone else, so Robin didn’t feel bad about leaving him behind.
He turned and scanned the crowd. Near the bar, Colt and Shawn stood close together with drinks, Colt’s arm across Shawn’s shoulders in a too-friendly way. Their heads were ducked low, as if they were in an intense conversation, and something possessive woke inside Robin. He didn’t like that arm where it was, didn’t like that they could turn their heads a few inches and be able to kiss—not that Robin thought Colt would ever cheat on Avery, but still.
Shawn’s my guy.
Riding this new emotion and needing to stake his claim, Robin wove his way to their location, gently tugged Shawn into his arms, and planted a big kiss on his boyfriend. A long, claiming kiss full of tongue, hands tangled in Shawn’s thick hair, tasting fruit juice and the essence of the man himself.
Someone nearby wolf whistled.
Shawn clutched Robin’s waist, and when Robin pulled back, his face was stained red. But his eyes gleamed with arousal and surprise, and so many other positive things that Robin knew he’d done the right thing. “I missed you,” Robin said.
“Clearly.” All the uncertainty that had clung to Shawn since Colt and Derrick joined them melted away under a bright smile. “I missed you, too.”
“You two go have fun,” Colt said. “I’m gonna go dance some more.” He eased his way into the sea of dancers to find their friend.
Robin looped both arms around Shawn’s waist and kissed him again, gentler this time. “You ready to head back to the ranch?”
“Yes.” Shawn rested his head on Robin’s shoulder. “I’m glad I got to experience this with you. To see and try something you enjoy, but I’m not sure it’s my thing. Too many people, too crazy.”
“I get it.” Robin was a little sad but also glad to have learned this thing about Shawn. They’d probably never be a couple who enjoyed clubbing together, like Mack and Wes, and that was okay. He and Shawn were creating their own relationship, and this was how they learned things about each other.
Robin was slightly overheated from dancing, and the chilly night air outside helped bring his temperature down on the walk back to his car. Halfway there, Shawn took his hand and held it in a loose grip that made Robin smile. They existed in a comfortable silence until they reached the car. Robin had just slid his key into the ignition when Shawn said, “I got jealous tonight.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Watching you dance with other guys, especially Derrick, because you guys have history.”
“It’s just dancing, and I wasn’t going home with anyone except you tonight.”
“I know.” Shawn shrugged, embarrassed now—Robin saw it in his slumped shoulders and twisted mouth. “I guess when you really like someone, certain reactions are kind of irrational.”
“But also hella appealing.” Robin reached over to squeeze Shawn’s hand. “And in the interest of full disclosure, I got pretty jealous too, when I saw you and Colt all cozy by the bar.”
Shawn’s eyebrows crept up. “We were just talking.”
“I know but he had his arm around you and it just... You guys looked intimate, and I didn’t like it.”
“So you’re okay if I’m grinding against another guy, but a side-hug from a friend sets off your jealous side?”
“Yes?” Robin had never been jealous like this before, not even over Xander. Lucky’s Rodeo had been a hotbed of no-homo straight guys, so it wasn’t as if Robin had had any competition for Xander’s attention. They’d also burned hot and heavy from the start, unlike this slower dance with Shawn. Xander had been someone he’d had to keep up with, while Shawn moved at a slower, more careful pace.
New rules, new reactions.
“If it helps at all,” Shawn said, “I’m not big on casual touching. I think Colt realized I was getting overwhelmed and was trying to keep me calm. I’ve battled anxiety for a lot of years, because of bullying in high school and that thing in my past, and sometimes it gets bad.”
“I didn’t know you struggle with anxiety.” Robin was a tiny bit hurt Shawn hadn’t shared that, but it also sounded intensely personal. Not something Shawn shared lightly. “Thank you for telling me.”
“It’s something I have an emergency stash of meds for if an episode gets really bad, like it did when I was first kicked out of my cousin’s place. But I don’t have insurance so I’ve mostly learned to manage it on my own. Routines help, and so does work that doesn’t require me to really interact with people too much, which is why I enjoy kitchen jobs.”
“I’d have never guessed. You always seem focused and put together.” Except for Thanksgiving, when Shawn had been so down after talking to his grandfather.
“Focused and put together is a part I play most days.”
Robin leaned over to kiss Shawn lightly on the lips. “You don’t ever have to play a part around me, Shawn. Just be yourself. I won’t judge you.”
“Thank you. In that case, can we go home? Please?”
“Absolutely.” After another kiss and hand squeeze, Robin got them on the road. Once he was out of the city and back on the interstate, Robin took Shawn’s hand again and held it the rest of the drive back to Clean Slate. Held it on the walk from the car barn to Shawn’s cabin. From the cabin door inside to the couch.
Robin urged Shawn to sit, then said, “I’ll be right back. I need to go get something.”
“Okay.”
He retrieved his gift from the spot he’d hidden it under his bunk, mostly so Ernie wouldn’t notice and tease him. Robin hadn’t been able to find a box, so he’d wrapped them in one of his bandanas, and Robin put the package in Shawn’s waiting hands. Sat beside him and tried not to panic now that the moment was here.
“More carvings?” Shawn asked with a wink.
“Yup.”
Shawn carefully unfolded the bandana to reveal two hand-carved chess pieces: a king and a queen. Robin had given both pieces a light varnish but hadn’t otherwise touched the natural wood grain of the piece of black walnut he’d chosen for the project. Shawn held them with slightly trembling fingers, his eyes wide with wonder.
“They’re beautiful,” Shawn said. “Wow.”
“I looked up different designs on my phone, and I liked these the best. I’ll do a darker stain on the opposing set of pieces.”
“Huh? You’re carving me an entire chess set?”
“Yes. Maybe one day you’ll be able to take it home and play with your grandfather.”
Shawn’s eyes went liquid. He put the pieces on the arm of the couch, and then he tackled Robin flat onto his back. Kissed him hard, first on the mouth, then dropping kisses along Robin’s cheeks and neck. Robin submitted to this new, more aggressive side of Shawn.
“You’re amazing,” Shawn said between kisses. “They’re so thoughtful. I love them, thank you. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” All the friction was doing wonders to bring Robin’s erection back full-force, and soon they were rubbing their hard cocks together through their jeans, Shawn on top with all the power. Robin squeezed his hips. “Get off with me, Shawn.”
