On the same page, p.18
On the Same Page, page 18
Riley had found herself attracted to a lot of people over the course of her life. She’d worked with several, both academically and then professionally, and that attraction had never been an issue. It hadn’t even really served as a distractor. It was just a fact. An awareness that she registered but barely ever thought about.
She’d taken the last week, while she didn’t have Gianna with her face-to-face, to really take that in. It had rattled her because it was a new component of one of the most settled and solid relationships she’d ever had.
But now that she’d had a little bit of time to process it, Riley was convinced everything would be normal. She wasn’t an animal or a teenage boy, driven by hormonal lust. She was an adult woman, very capable of being rational and –
“Riley!” Gianna’s delighted shout made her presence known as she came bounding toward where Riley stood.
Luminous smile, skin glowing, her hair in a fishtail braid over her shoulder, in designer jeans and a jacket – Riley hardly had time to take Gianna in, before she was on her. Literally.
Long, strong arms wrapping around Riley’s back and pulled her in close. Gianna’s hugs – the excited, exuberant ones – always yanked Riley right up to her tiptoes, as she wrapped her own arms around Gianna’s back, tightly holding for both balance and connection. At five foot seven, most women Riley knew weren’t that much taller than she was, but Gianna was an exception.
She could feel their hearts beating in tandem as she breathed in Gianna’s scent, and her stomach devolved into a swarm of butterflies despite her resolve to be normal. Still, she tightened her arms. Attraction or not, she’d missed Gianna.
“You’re here,” Gianna said through a laugh into Riley’s ear, that sent goosebumps skittering down her spine, then a whole-body shiver.
Jesus.
“I always pick you up,” she managed to get out, tucking her head into Gianna’s shoulder, deciding that she needed another moment to gather herself before she looked into her best friend’s observant gaze.
Gianna rubbed her hands up and down Riley’s back, unquestioning the length of their hug, still laughing. “I know, but the day might come when–”
“Please,” Riley cut her off, taking a deep breath – full of Gianna, which in a way was both comforting and thrilling – before she pulled back. “We have a deal.”
“And Riley Beckett never welches on a deal,” Gianna added, eyes glittering as she brought her hands up to Riley’s shoulders, giving her a quick once-over. “Have you grown? I feel like it’s been forever.”
She rolled her eyes as she snorted, reaching out to push Gianna back, but pausing right before her hands made contact, a second guess she’d never once had before. Instead, she dropped her arms to her sides. Safer that way.
“Even though I don’t really care for Christmas as a holiday, I have to admit, I did miss our things. Listening to Joel compare versions of I’ll Be Home for Christmas, watching Ellie fastidiously decorate a tree so that the ornaments are all equidistant. Watching Mia watch Ellie with love goggles. You, sitting next to me on the couch, having at least two news reports on while we wear matching socks,” Gianna listed off as she slung her arm comfortably over Riley’s shoulders.
Clearly, Gianna was experiencing none of Riley’s tactile distress.
“Then maybe you’ll be happy for me to confirm we didn’t do any of it this year,” Riley said, even though she knew Gianna knew that. She and Ellie had gone to dinner with their mom, Mia and Joel had both worked. Once Gianna had informed her that she was going to California, Riley hadn’t felt the need to try to make Christmas special; if Gianna was missing, the specialness wouldn’t have been the same. “Next year.”
“Next year,” Gianna agreed, grinning brightly down at Riley.
And even though she was smiling back, even though she meant the smile, her stomach clenched so hard, she could barely breathe through it.
She hoped to whatever higher power there could be that she would stop feeling like this by next year.
CHAPTER 14
“After that time I tripped and accidentally ruined the set, I never thought I’d get to go to one of Gianna’s photoshoots again!” Joel’s excitement was palpable in both his voice and the way he was positively vibrating next to her.
“In fairness, that wasn’t a Gianna rule,” she pointed out as she walked through the door into the building that Gianna had given them the address to, to meet her for the aforementioned photoshoot. She hit the button to call the elevator, as Gianna had instructed them to go to the top floor. “You decided that maybe you shouldn’t join in on those photoshoots.”
Which, also in fairness, had been a wise choice on Joel’s part. Though Gianna never seriously held it against him, when he’d tripped into the background set – which had then needed to be completely redone – it had set Gianna’s advertisement shoot back several days and several thousand dollars.
In the three years since, he’d kept his distance.
“Well, yeah. I mean, it was partially because of the whole tripping-thing. But also because Gianna’s photoshoots became one of your things,” Joel explained, as they got on the elevator.
Riley arched an eyebrow at him. “One of our things?”
Joel nodded with a duh expression. “Uh, yeah? One of the things you and Gianna do, where everyone else who’s around feels like a third wheel. Like that time I met you guys at the laundromat. Or when I came over to watch The One,” he said, referring to the reality dating show they’d started watching together when it had premiered two years ago.
Riley felt herself flush, even as she cleared her throat. “You’re not third wheeling.”
It was the best defense she had, and it felt weak to even her own ears.
She and Gianna did have a propensity to speak in shorthand and to lean into each other. The only person who’d never commented on it or appeared bothered by being the “third wheel” was Ellie, and mostly, Riley believed it was because her sister didn’t notice.
Joel shrugged. “It’s cool. You two are, like, the best of best friends. I get it. I’m just excited I get to come to this shoot! I almost pissed myself when you asked me earlier.”
She laughed as she pushed at his shoulder with her own. “Gross.”
But the shoot really was a big deal. A huge deal, even.
Because it was the first official advertisement for Gianna’s own lingerie line. She’d handpicked the team working on the ad campaign for her, from set designers to the director to the photographers and videographer. And the videographer, in particular, was one of Joel’s artistic techie heroes.
Therefore, it had made sense to invite him, Riley reasoned with herself.
… it also made sense because Riley was nervous, and she would admit that only in the depths of her mind.
In the last week, ever since picking Gianna up from the airport, Riley had learned, unfortunately, that her stomach tying itself in knots whenever Gianna was near and feeling heat streak through her veins at her touch, was not dying easily. It was, in fact, demanding to be felt.
Riley was an adult woman, who was very capable of being rational.
This was true.
She had felt sexual attraction to people she had no intention of ever sleeping with or dating or even making a move on.
This was also true.
But what she hadn’t thought about in all of the pep talks she’d given herself about dealing with this attraction to Gianna, was that she didn’t have the kind of relationship with any of those people that she had with her best friend.
It became devastatingly obvious as soon as Gianna was back and they’d resumed their life together.
How often Gianna kissed Riley’s cheeks. How often Gianna wrapped her arm around Riley’s back or waist. How often they hugged and held hands.
Gianna was tactile with everyone. But especially with Riley.
The last time she’d seen Gianna had been for laundry night two days ago, and Riley found herself gripping the edge of the table as Gianna had so casually touched her thigh and leaned in to tell a story about her day, laughing as she’d shared the anecdote.
Riley had no idea what the fuck Gianna had said that was so funny, because the want had slid through her so headily with Gianna’s warm breath on her neck, and it was all she could do to not show any reaction.
The thing was, Gianna wasn’t Nolan, the guy she’d worked with a few years ago who was so ridiculously attractive, Riley would have jumped his bones given the chance, had they not worked together. Riley had managed her own drooling over Nolan and had acted accordingly and professionally, even when he’d flirted with her.
When she heard Nolan was going out to drinks with the crew, she turned down the invitation, just in case. She didn’t engage in any situation where they could potentially do something they’d regret.
Riley couldn’t remove herself from experiencing situations with Gianna. Or, even if she could, she didn’t want to. Attraction didn’t mean that Gianna wasn’t her best friend, anymore. It didn’t mean that she was going to cancel being Gianna’s plus-one next month to Worthy’s Valentine’s Day launch party. It didn’t mean that she was going to uninvite Gianna from BostonNow’s anniversary celebration. It didn’t even mean she would stop doing their laundry together.
She wouldn’t give an attraction that kind of power; she was in charge of her body and her actions.
It was just that… she had no idea how to make herself not feel her chemical reactions so strongly. She had no idea how to mask them, or most importantly, how to make them fade to the background.
She thought – hoped, had to believe – that eventually, this attraction would be something she would get used to and that it would fade into something far less intense. Into normality.
That’s exactly what had happened with Nolan. Even though she’d been in a sexual dry spell and even though she’d had several fantasies, eventually, it faded. She’d still found him attractive, sure, but the intensity and infatuation of it all faded within a couple of months and everything became business as usual, the same as it was with anyone else.
She couldn’t take personal space and time away from Gianna, without it becoming a Thing, without it altering both of their daily lives.
So, for now, the only solution she’d thought of was to bring Joel as a chaperone. Someone to join herself and Gianna, to give Riley some breathing room and split the focus. Diffuse any tension. There was no way she could feel heart-poundingly aroused if Joel was next to her, rambling about the camerawork, right?
It made her feel lecherous and weird and unsettled, but it was the only answer she currently had.
Especially for something like this. This photoshoot, the first one for Worthy, was something that Riley couldn’t miss. She wouldn’t miss it, for anything. She’d been here since literally day one of Gianna’s journey; she’d been the very first person Gianna had told, in an uncharacteristically nervous whisper, about wanting to design her own lingerie.
She’d been the person who’d taken Gianna’s hand and encouraged her to do it. “Like you can’t do everything you set your mind to,” she’d said with as much conviction as she felt.
That had been four years ago. And it all culminated into this, she thought, as the elevator doors opened and they walked into the large open space, with a highly vaulted clear glass ceiling.
She and Joel both paused, taking it in.
It was mid-January, and the ad campaign would launch at the end of the month. Gianna planned on offering a series of debut sales leading into Valentine’s Day, which was the theme of the shoot. Amidst the crew bustling around, were a handful of models, all in silk robes – all a part of the Worthy line – as the principal photography hadn’t yet begun.
Riley knew the whole concept Gianna had created with the team she’d hired. She and Gianna had worked through it, themselves, months ago. The models would all be in various scenes, going about their everyday lives, until they were hit by Cupid’s Arrow. In the final scene of the ad, they would all be in their homes – but unlike most Valentine’s Day ads, Worthy was going in another direction.
There would be no couples featured during that final shot.
It was all of the women, by themselves, having a romantic evening in, treating themselves and fucking loving it, while wearing their lingerie.
“This Valentine’s Day, fall in love with yourself.”
Riley not only loved the concept and the message, but she loved that it felt so purely Gianna. Why would Gianna try to market her product to couples, when she had no interest in being a part of one? Gianna loved lingerie, she loved to look good, and she loved doing it for herself.
“You made it,” Gianna’s voice pulled both Riley and Joel out of their admiration of the scene before them.
Riley braced herself as she turned to face her, and… yep. So far, she hadn’t found a way to truly prepare for Gianna’s impact. And most certainly not at this moment.
Because, as she strutted right toward Riley, she was wearing hand-stitched red lace cheeky briefs with the matching bra – and that was it.
What did she expect, when Gianna herself was going to be Cupid in the ads?
Riley’s throat ran dry as she kept her gaze trained firmly on Gianna’s face. Her perfectly made-up face that – from whatever product she’d used – was literally emanating a glow.
Her entire body emanated that glow, actually, Riley realized as her treacherous eyes dipped lower.
She swallowed tightly. Good lord.
“Riley!” Joel yelped.
Grateful for the break to her reverie, she snapped her gaze to Joel, then down to where her hand was gripping his. She hadn’t registered how tight her hold had become, and she immediately released him.
“Sorry,” she murmured, as meaningfully as she could through how hard her heart was beating in her chest.
“I’m so glad you got here before the actual shoot began!” Gianna exclaimed as she approached, a bright smile on her face.
Riley could see how she started opening her arms, coming in for her customary greeting hug, and every alarm bell went right off in her brain.
She did the only thing she could think of.
She grabbed the coffee from Joel’s other hand and hastily offered it out in front of her. “We brought you this.” She moved her hand out just a bit too far in her haste, the backs of her fingers brushing against the soft, firm skin of Gianna’s bare stomach, sending the electricity up her entire arm.
Gianna abruptly cut herself off from going in for her hug, arms falling to her sides as she looked down at the large iced coffee – made to her specification from her favorite coffee shop – pressed against her stomach.
The smile on her face became no less genuine, if visibly puzzled.
She reached up and took the coffee from Riley, though, the confusion fading as she gave them both a grateful look. “Thanks. Believe me, I need it.”
“I knew you would.”
It was currently 5:30 in the morning, and Riley knew Gianna had been there for well over two hours already. Several of the shots they wanted to use were going to include the dawn sky, through the ceiling windows, so everything had to be set up and ready for sunrise.
“Oh, holy shit.” Joel garnered both of their attentions, his voice utterly thrilled as he stared across the floor at the cameras being set up. “Did you get–”
“Yes, I got the newest model of the cameras you suggested,” Gianna cut in, confirming. “Thanks for the advice.”
Joel looked at Gianna, sincere smile in place. “Of course. Yeah, thanks for asking me. You won’t regret it; the quality is unparalleled. Even on the model we have at the station, which is almost five years old.”
Gianna quirked an eyebrow as she sipped her coffee. “Well, you’re the tech expert. Seems like it’s in my best interest to use your knowledge.”
He nodded distractedly, as his gaze tracked back to where one of the photographers was working. “I don’t even know where I should start: checking out the camera or talking to Trey Edison?!”
Gianna lowered her voice as she leaned in close, “From what I’ve heard around set, he’s got a deal with 3G to shoot their next music video. And that he and his boyfriend broke up.”
Joel’s mouth dropped open, “No way!” He whisper-shouted.
Gianna settled back on her heels, lifting her eyebrows. “It’s what I heard,” she repeated.
“I gotta go over there.” He glanced at them both, hopeful. “If that’s okay…?”
Riley, personally, wanted to tell Joel that was not why she brought him here! In fact, it was the opposite reason. “Traitor,” she whispered unthinkingly under her breath, before she caught herself and snapped her mouth closed.
Thankfully, neither of them appeared to have heard her, as Gianna was rolling her eyes at Joel. “Yes, we are not your keepers. But we will be if you don’t watch your every step. I’ve forgiven the Great Set Debacle, but I will never forget it.”
Joel flashed a grin and a salute, as he started walking – carefully – to where the cameras were set up.
Riley watched him go, in part because of the betrayal he didn’t know he was committing, but mostly to give herself something to look at that wasn’t Gianna.
Gianna, who hummed quietly. Thoughtfully. “You brought Joel.”
Riley slowly turned to face Gianna, filled with trepidation.
She was giving Riley a quizzical look over her coffee cup, head tilted to the side. Her hair fell over her shoulder in a waterfall, shimmering in the lighting and Riley let herself focus on that rather than on the confused expression on Gianna’s face.
What could she say to her best friend? That she’d tried to bring their other friend with her to see if it would help keep Riley’s thoughts purely platonic?
That for the first time in twelve years, Riley didn’t know how to simply be with Gianna? That she felt every casual touch as though Gianna was made of lightning and Riley was a conductor, electrified?
“Um… yeah, he was really excited about it, so…” she trailed off, gesturing to where Joel was clearly geeking out over the camera, with Trey.
