On the same page, p.33
On the Same Page, page 33
All she knew was that it felt so incredible to have Gianna look at her this way. To be the person Gianna wanted to take home tonight.
She knew this was all they’d ever have, and she knew it was all only temporary.
But she also knew that she’d spent years wanting to feel this way. Wanting to feel excited and wanting and exhilarated and swoony. And she didn’t know when she would ever feel it again.
It might be selfish and wrong, but maybe Joel was right. She was going to be crushed at the end of this no matter what. And she would never, ever try to drag Gianna into the messy feelings she was now harboring.
Maybe… in some twisted way, it was excusable to wring every ounce of enjoyment and pleasure from this that she could.
It was so convoluted, but right now, as Gianna’s hand dropped to her bare thigh, Riley couldn’t bring herself to care.
“Maybe I am open to leaving here with a woman tonight,” she murmured, shivering as Gianna slid her hand just a little higher, her fingertips slipping under the hem of Riley’s dress.
“Alanna?” Gianna asked, stopping her hand as she held Riley’s gaze with her own.
Riley knew Gianna was the literal opposite of a jealous person. Considering she never wanted romantic ties, there was nothing to ever be jealous of. So she didn’t let herself read into the grip Gianna had on her leg, and she knew Gianna was teasing her.
“Unfortunately, I think she is going to be a little busy tonight; I’m not going to have the time to get to know her.” She gestured to the insane amount of customers vying to push forward to get their order in.
“That’s a shame,” Gianna commented, her voice light, a spark in her eyes as she slid her hand up another few inches. Riley’s mouth fell open with a heavy exhale, the heat sliding through her as Gianna’s fingertips were so close to touching her… “I think I can offer an alternative, though.”
Riley was positive that no one had ever thought of Gianna as an alternative option.
She was increasingly becoming alarmingly convinced that Gianna was the option, and that everyone else would only ever be an alternative.
CHAPTER 25
Riley settled in at her desk, rolling her head back on her neck trying to work out some – any, really – of the tension there.
They’d – she, Joel, and Owen – spent five hours, so far, creating content from this past weekend to have lined up and ready to post on their channel for when they launched. Given that it was only just past noon on a Monday, Riley would say her week was off with a bang.
The launch was officially happening on Thursday. The biggest day of her career to-date was happening in three days.
She was prepared to eat-sleep-breathe BostonNow until then, and so was Joel. Owen… was questionable, but he’d buckled down – for the most part – so far, today.
And speaking of.
Riley hadn’t even had the chance to dip into her cup of soup yet, as Owen came to stand next to her desk, perching next to her.
He didn’t immediately speak, as he fiddled with his phone, clearly reading something on his screen. She tried to not let herself get agitated; even if they’d just been together nonstop for five whole hours and he was silently towering over her while she wanted to have a quick lunch break. She had told him that after she ate her soup, she was going to read updates and see if there were any fresh stories from today for them to work onto their roster for this weeks’ news.
There was a very good chance he was trying to find some stories he wanted to post as well. Despite the fact that Riley rarely agreed with the pieces he wanted to focus on, she tried to appreciate that he was really focusing on work.
After a few seconds, he looked down at her, and asked, “Are Gianna’s parents Giulia Gallo and An…tero Mäkinen?”
All right, Riley could admit – that was very much not what she’d expected. She set her spoon down next to her soup, interest piqued. “Yes. Why?”
She already was developing a bad feeling about whatever this could lead to – as very few things involving Gianna’s parents ever led to something good. In fact, in the last twelve years, Riley couldn’t think of anything that had started with or involved Gianna’s parents, that led to a truly positive outcome for Gianna.
They were the same parents who’d both decided that they would bring a child into this world, but also didn’t want that child to disrupt any part of their burgeoning careers in the fashion world. The same parents who’d left Gianna at her grandmother’s house in Finland throughout almost all of her childhood, flying her out to see them four or five times every year. The same parents who, when Gianna had turned eleven, had unilaterally decided to send her to a boarding school in Boston, where they still rarely ever saw her.
The same parents who liked to use Gianna when it was convenient for them – when Gianna’s fame level rose or when she was successful or when they were going through another one of their many breakups and wanted her to badmouth the other. The same parents who broke so many promises to Gianna over the years, that Riley… well, Riley couldn’t say she hated many people, but – they were pretty high on the list.
They were the parents who had biologically created Gianna, which was the most credit Riley could give them.
“Is Gianna in Italy?” He asked, ignoring the why part of her answer.
Given that Riley had spent the better part of the weekend entirely wrapped up with Gianna, only extricating herself completely when Gianna had to make a product review video, she could say with the utmost authority, “No, she’s not. Why?”
“I never knew her parents were, like, super famous in Europe,” he commented, tapping on his phone.
Heated irritation skittered through her, along with increasing concern and with it, she gave up on responding to him. Instead, she grabbed her own phone, pulling up a quick google search.
Her stomach sank instantly.
Giulia Gallo Marries Long-Time Partner Antero Mäkinen.
“What the fuck?” She muttered, soup entirely forgotten as she hastily clicked on the first article, one of many written from Italian entertainment sites, time-stamped almost three hours ago.
She quickly skimmed the article, easily understanding the gist even without translating it from Italian to English.
Married in a small, beautiful ceremony on Amalfi coast.
“It was finally the right time,” Gallo told reporters from Attuale.
Some snippets about both of their careers, through their successful modeling years, into Antero’s successful menswear designing career and into Giulia’s mediocre – Riley’s word, not the article’s – Italian film career.
“What the fuck?” She muttered again, anger at Giulia and Antero surging through her.
Because if Gianna had known they were getting married, Riley, too, would have known about it.
Gianna’s fucking selfish asshole parents, in the loosest definition of the word.
Her hands shook lightly, both from the rage that burned through her and at the growing concern for Gianna. Who Riley had no missed texts from. Not a single one.
That alone sent alarm bells sounding off loudly, blaring through her nervous system. She was already calling Gianna before she’d really thought about it.
Which only rang a couple of times before going right to voicemail.
“Shit,” she whispered, immediately opening her text thread.
Riley – 12:11PM
Hey, you. Tried to call, just wanted to check
in and say hi
She drummed her fingers against her desk, impatient and worried and – she snapped her head up at Owen, having forgotten he was there for a few minutes.
“Have Gianna’s socials been active today?” She demanded to know.
She could look, herself, but she also knew that Owen would likely already know, like the devoted Gianna follower he was.
Unsurprisingly, she was right, and he scoffed, nodding at her. “Uh, yeah. She posted, like, these shots of her Worthy models on insta this morning, and she’s posted, like, four tiktoks. She went live, like, an hour ago–”
That ring of alarm only sounded louder, her stomach twisting into knots, and that was even before her phone vibrated with a text.
Snatching it up, she opened the message.
Gianna – 12:12PM
Sorry. Just super busy. But I’m good, Riley.
Seriously.
“Oh, hey! She just posted a review about those new foaming body scrubs that I’ve seen ads for,” Owen said, tapping his knuckles on her desk and taking her gaze away from her phone. He looked genuinely excited. “I’ve been hearing about those, but waiting to see if they actually worked, you know?”
Riley did know. She knew, in fact, because over the weekend, Gianna had gone over her lineup of product reviews she had to film this week as well as what other projects she was tackling for work. It was part of their regular programming, filling each other in on their upcoming work weeks and schedules. She also knew, because Gianna had used one of those foaming body scrubs on her – she’d give it a positive review for certain.
But she knew that Gianna was intending to film that and a few others today, and edit them, then release them throughout the week. She also knew that she’d been planning on putting up the Worthy spread later this week, as well.
It was enough to spur her into action, standing up as she grabbed her coat from the back of her chair.
Owen jumped up off his perch on her desk, clearly alarmed, “What, are we getting back into filming already? I haven’t even started my lunch, yet.”
Only then did she pause in throwing her items in her bag, the reality of her own day and her own work plans pushing through the thoughts of Gianna.
Riley’s launch was in three days.
When their digital accounts went live, she wanted to have a backlog of info pieces – a whole slew of current events, different lengths, different topics, but all less than a week old. Those were mostly done, but then she wanted to have other videos, ones that linked to the recent videos, that explained the background of these events and why they were important. Videos on current wars and updates on what was going on, but also videos that explained the cultural, political, and religious backgrounds and significance. Videos on current politics, but then videos on the people and positions that had gotten them to this point. Videos on current celebrity news, but also on how these people became famous and relevant actions and behaviors.
There was still plenty of work that needed to be done, and work she did want to be in the room for, as she’d been the one to create and curate those stories.
Only three days until they went live, three days to make sure they were as prepared as they could possibly be.
Her eyes fell to her phone as another text buzzed –
Gianna – 12:14PM
Hey, I’m probably just going to put my phone
on total do not disturb though, so don’t worry
if I don’t answer for a while, though, if you
call me again. Good luck with Owen today xo
Gianna didn’t ever screen Riley’s calls or put her, specifically, on Do Not Disturb. It was a mutually agreed upon decision, to be each other’s emergency bypass option, and that if they needed to ensure total media blackout, they would simply tell the other person they needed radio silence for a couple of hours.
She stuffed her arms into the sleeves of her coat, then, the anxiety and concern overpowering anything else.
“Actually, I have to go; there’s a family emergency.” She’d barely taken two steps, before she caught herself, and skidded to a stop to turn around. Owen was already about to speak, but she knew what he was thinking, and she cut him off, “You can spend the afternoon making the videos we’ve already discussed with the content we already reviewed with Joel.”
Did she trust Owen to not try to put his own spin on these videos? Of course not. Did she trust that he would prioritize any of the videos that needed to be made regarding celebrity news or anything he didn’t deem “serious,” despite knowing that the general interest and demographic of the audience they were trying to draw in and capture the attention of? Not a chance.
Still, Riley blew out the door, already ordering an Uber before she hit the lobby.
Gianna’s door was locked when she arrived, and she didn’t answer when Riley knocked, rapid and hard. But she knew Gianna was home, because she’d reluctantly, driven by her concern, pulled up Gianna’s TikTok on her way over.
The videos Gianna had posted – more than she usually ever posted in a single day, given that she always carefully planned and timed her posts to hit maximum engagement – were ones that Riley knew had to have been filmed either last night or this morning, and then edited. And she knew that when Gianna was editing her own content, the ones that weren’t professionally contracted, she preferred to do so in her own home.
Giving up quickly, she used her key and hastily shed her jacket as she walked in and locked the door behind her.
She could hear Gianna speaking, though, and she followed her voice right to the kitchen.
Where Gianna stood at one end of her island, in front of what seemed to be a random arrangement of fruits and vegetables and… a plastic bottle? All cut up into various pieces on a cutting board, as well as a whole host of items gathered – mostly food but some not – still whole.
Riley came to a halting stop as she stared at Gianna, careful and cautious.
This, right here, Gianna-at-work, reflected exactly what Riley had seen in her videos on the way over. And it was exactly why Riley never watched them. Gianna was perfectly made-up and well-dressed, which wasn’t an issue, given that Gianna didn’t ever really leave the house without looking what she deemed as her best.
Her issue came from the fact that in her pictures and videos, it was always more than real life Gianna. She supposed it reminded her of the Gianna she’d first met, all those years ago, on the first day of college. The Gianna that didn’t wear makeup and nice clothing just because it made her feel good, but because it helped her hide. It helped her disappear, just enough, into a façade.
And the façade of her influencer accounts was legitimate; she never endorsed something she didn’t like or wouldn’t use, she never said something she didn’t believe. Riley knew that.
But the Gianna given to the public, no matter how honest, would never be the same Gianna who laughed with Riley – loud, guffawing barking laughter, until she cried. It would never be the same Gianna who nervously asked Riley to bring her to the doctor when she was worried that she found a lump in her breast. It would never be the same Gianna who showed up at Riley’s doorstep on the anniversary of her father’s death, with Riley’s snacks in hand.
And the Gianna who stood in her kitchen today, right in this moment, was very much not Riley’s Gianna.
The differences were there, in the heaviness of her makeup – which was skillfully done, but Riley could see that it was even different from Gianna’s usual videos – and in the fact that she was wearing a brand-new designer sweater. One she’d just purchased, which Gianna would typically never, ever wear near food that had even a chance to splatter.
Gianna cut herself off from speaking, blinking at Riley, as she held a black knife in her hand. “I told you that you didn’t have to come over.”
She didn’t sound annoyed or even exasperated at Riley’s presence, though. Mostly, she sounded… blank.
Which was even more concerning to Riley, making the knots in her stomach twist even harder.
“Actually, you told me that you were super busy, but that you were good,” she corrected.
Now, Gianna’s sigh had a hint of exasperation to it. “Same thing, and you know it. And, clearly, I am.” She used the knife in her hand to gesture to the chopped items. “See? The Amaze-Knife really is amazing. Cuts through everything like butter so far. We haven’t yet gotten to the laptop charger, though, but that’s the one my money’s on as the most difficult.”
Slowly, Riley walked closer. “Gianna.”
Gianna arched her eyebrows at Riley. “Hey, this knife isn’t even something I’m going to keep. It’s a gift to you, soon, because we both know I’m not going to be cooking with it. Should be good to know what it’s capable of.”
Even though her words were teasing, her voice just couldn’t quite measure up to it. It edged just a bit too far on the flat side, and the twisting in Riley’s stomach started to expand into her chest.
“Gianna,” she repeated, softer. “You were the person who told me you weren’t going to have time to get to filming this until at least tomorrow, probably the day after.”
“Sometimes when I really buckle down and focus, I can impress even myself.” Gianna laughed, light and twinkling and entirely… wrong. Forced.
It didn’t float through Riley’s veins, a magical sound, but instead felt almost like nails on a chalkboard.
“Maybe you’re a little bit too focused,” she suggested, as she walked down the long side of the counter.
“And maybe you’re a little too worried about me being focused.” Gianna shot back, glib but almost sharp. Not quite cutting – not near as cutting as Gianna could be – but as much as she ever would be with Riley. “You can’t live your life in fear of something that happened once, over a decade ago.”
The surprise and the sting of pain at the comment stopped Riley in her tracks.
She knew that because of Ellie’s breakdown, this kind of single-minded focused response to stress worried her more than it likely worried other people.
But Riley had experienced the worst of this kind of response, and it had been a formative moment in her life. Something Gianna knew, more than anyone else.
She held Gianna’s gaze with her own, speaking quietly and evenly, “I think the fact that you even said that to me means it was a good thing I’m here.”
Gianna’s big, blue eyes cast down from Riley in that moment and she released her hold on the knife, letting it clatter to the cutting board. She shook her head, the artfully teased strands of hair hanging from her otherwise immaculate ballerina bun moving with it, as she squeezed her eyes closed.
