Fragments alabaster peni.., p.23
Fragments (Alabaster Penitentiary Book 4), page 23
“Jesus…” I cackle, and he grins. “Tell us how you really feel.”
“I’m just saying. People act like loving sex makes you an evil harlot, but the human body is designed to enjoy sex. It’s not just for making babies.”
“I guess you’re the expert on that,” I tease.
“Pretty much,” he sneers. “Not that you’d know this, breeder, but sex still feels really fucking good without a vagina involved.”
A gulp follows my forced laugh. The sex topic tends to make me a little jittery.
“Yea, well… I wouldn’t know either way.” I chew on my lower lip.
My hand is getting kind of sweaty, but he refuses to let go of it.
Ren straightens, turning his body to face me. “What do you mean?”
My eyes dart to his, then down to my lap, awkwardness coiling my muscles.
God, this is humiliating. We don’t talk about sex much, so the fact that I’ve never had it hasn’t come up yet. I mean, Ren talks about sex all the time, but I usually just listen and nod along. I have no contribution to the sex conversation, outside of a few measly makeout sessions, a couple boob-grabs, and some phone sex with random internet girls, which is pretty much the same as masturbation, in theory.
Am I really going to tell the most sexually active person I’ve ever met that I’m a virgin?? He’ll probably never speak to me again.
“I… It doesn’t matter.” I yank my hand out of his.
“If it doesn’t matter, then just tell me.” He scoots closer, and I back up.
“No.”
“Come on… please?” He pouts. “I wanna know what’s got you all clammed up.” He grins, walking his fingers up my leg. “It’s pretty adorable.”
I smack his hand away. “Cut it out.”
“Lex…” He flutters his lashes, and I shake my head. “Luthor…”
“Ugh.” I roll my eyes. “Just drop it, please.”
“Not a chance.” He grabs me by the thighs and yanks me fast until I crash onto my back. Then he quickly climbs on top of me, straddling my hips.
My eyes are wide, chest pumping frantic breaths. “Ren! Get off me! What are you—”
“Tell me what you’re hiding.” He leans over, trapping me beneath him on the bed. I try to fight him off, but he snatches my wrists and pins them down. “Or I’ll have to kiss it out of you…”
What??
“Dude… stop,” I whimper, my blood rushing like a waterfall in my ears. “I thought we said no more kissing…”
“That was your rule,” he says pointedly. “I never agreed to it.”
“Fine,” I huff, glaring up at him. “I’ll tell you. Will you please just… let me up?”
He shakes his head, smirking like the annoying idiot he is. “Not until you spill the beans.”
“Ren,” I whine. “It’s embarrassing.”
His face lights up. “Ooh! I love embarrassing sex stories. Go.”
I purse my lips, working up to this. Fuck my life… Here goes nothing.
“I don’t have any embarrassing sex stories…” I mumble. “I don’t have any sex stories at all…” I blink up at him, raising my brows while I wait for him to catch onto what I’m saying. But he’s just staring blankly at me. “Because I’ve never… had it.” His brows zip. “Sex. I’ve never…”
“You’ve never had sex?” he murmurs, like he’s repeating a phrase I’m trying to teach him in another language. I shake my head. “You’re a… virgin??”
I’m sure my face is Hawaiian Punch red right now. There’s fire burning from my neck up, humiliation and discomfort causing me to wriggle beneath him. “Yes, I’m a fucking virgin, okay?? Now, can you please get off me? I can’t breathe…”
Ren eases up a little, releasing my arms and sitting back on his knees. He looks sufficiently shocked. I might be the first virgin he’s ever met in his life, which makes me feel like an even bigger loser.
The hot, popular kid knows I’m a virgin. Great.
And why did you need to add hot to that statement?? We could’ve done without it.
“Lex… Wow,” Ren gasps, head shaking in disbelief. I roll my eyes, propping up on my elbows. “I had no idea.”
“Really?? ’Cause I wear my I’m a virgin sandwich-board everywhere I go, so really, that’s on you,” I growl, grinding my teeth.
He grins and bites his lip. “You’ve never had sex with anyone…?”
“Not that I’m aware of,” I mutter sarcastically. “Can we please change the subject? This is super awkward.”
He blinks. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel weird.”
“Yea, well… I get it. Being a virgin is pretty much the opposite of sleeping with literally everyone, so I guess you wouldn’t be the person to understand, would you?”
His jaw tightens visibly. “Are you saying I’m a slut?”
“Are you saying you aren’t a slut?”
Our heated glares are stuck together, tension palpable in the air.
“I’m not ashamed of who I am,” he hisses, deadly quiet.
“I never said you should be,” I tell him, trying to get across that I’m not shaming him for being himself. “I’m just pointing out that we’re two very different people. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just… a fact.”
The fury on his face fades, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “Are you ashamed… of being a virgin?”
“No, I’m not ashamed, I just… I don’t know, it’s embarrassing,” I grumble.
“Why is it embarrassing?” He lies down on top of me, propping his chin up on his hands, resting on my chest.
Okay, so I guess we’re staying like this.
“Trying to get laid was never a top priority for me,” I explain. “Plus, I was always younger than everyone in my classes. I went to college when I was sixteen. Most girls want to hook up with older guys, not younger ones.”
His lips twitch. “Girls are stupid.”
I laugh, rolling my eyes. “Yea, like you’re not exactly the same way. You forget how much you’ve told me, Warren. The professor, your boss… your dad’s friend? All the guys you went for were older than you.”
He purses his lips, like he’s annoyed that I’m right. It’s kind of adorable.
“Yea, well… maybe I’m done with older guys,” he says quietly.
My chest tightens, and I can’t help fidgeting. We’re both quiet for a moment, but it’s not comfortable. It feels like all the air is being sucked out of the room by a giant vacuum.
Breaking the silence, I ask, “Are you judging me? For being a nineteen-year-old virgin…”
Ren’s lips slope into one of his blinding smiles, dimpling to the max. “No. Virgins are cool.”
I have to laugh at how much of a fool he is. “Right.”
“I’m serious,” he says firmly. “You know that whole thing where guys fantasize about popping a girl’s cherry…? Well, it’s not just a straight dude fantasy…”
I clear my throat. “Yea, but… I’m not…”
“I know you’re not gay, Lex,” he sighs, finally rolling off of me.
But he doesn’t exactly let me free either. He nestles up to my side, slinging a heavy arm around my waist.
“What are we doing…?” I breathe, unsure of what the hell is happening here. We’re supposed to be friends.
Straight guys don’t cuddle with their gay friends… I’m not positive about this, but I’m pretty sure.
“You’re cold,” he hums, pulling my body into his. “I can feel you shivering.”
It might not be from that…
Relaxing just a little, I allow myself to melt into him. I know it’s weird, but honestly, when does this happen? You don’t get this kind of human contact in prison. Even if you opt to have sex with someone, it’s not this.
This is comfort. The warmth of being held, inside and out.
So what if we’re two guys? Boys should be able to cuddle with their friends if they want to.
“I can’t believe this is happening…” Ren sighs, fingers trailing my back.
“W-what?” I quiver. “What’s happening?”
“You’re actually in my cell.” His chest rumbles. “Hancock is an idiot.”
“Oh,” I breathe, chuckling. “Yea. I hope we don’t get in trouble.”
“Worth it,” he murmurs.
I go quiet for a moment, peering at him. His eyes are closed, a comfortable smile resting on his lips.
“Just so you know, sleepovers are usually where friends experiment,” he croons, that teasing flirtation he spouts easier than breathing.
I laugh softly, scolding him with a look, though his eyes are closed. “Nice try, pervert.”
I’m drifting off, liquifying into his big body. I can feel myself easing deeper and deeper, giving up my incessant neuroses as the serenity of this moment puts me to sleep, the lights eventually flickering off in the row.
I can’t remember the last time I was so calm. I definitely haven’t felt like this while in here.
We’re out for a while, I think. What feels like hours later, consciousness tickles my mind, waking me from my slumber. I’m confused at first, but then I recall where I am.
It’s not a dream. I fell asleep in bed with Ren.
Lying with my head on his chest, the cadence of his heart thumping against my cheek distracts me from the overactive thoughts that immediately want to creep in.
It feels odd to be in bed with a guy. To be… cuddling. With a man.
But then I’ve never actually cuddled with a woman either, so what the hell would I know?
Ren’s legs are tangled with mine and his fingers are dancing up and down my back like maybe he’s half-awake too.
I’m sure it’s innocent, though, so it’s okay for now. We’re not doing anything bad…
We were just lying together, and we fell asleep. Who says two guys can’t platonically nestle up in bed? It’s so cold in this fucking cell, and Ren is warm. Plus, he always smells good, and he seemed so happy when I gave in and let him hold me for a while.
I’m sure it’s fine. We’re not doing anything.
We’re just friends. Guys like to cuddle sometimes too, right?
My mind is drifting, like Ren’s fingers, up and down my back. Up, and down… Up… and down.
So, Ren is gay. It’s just a fact, one he’s never cared to hide from the world, especially not in here. Ren is gay, and I’m straight. But it doesn’t matter. Sexuality doesn’t define you, and I care about people for who they are, not who they’re attracted to.
Just because I don’t personally date the same sex, that doesn’t mean I’d judge anyone who does. I haven’t exactly dated the opposite sex either, so I have no frame of reference for any of this.
All I know is that I’m smooshed up against the hard body of my friend, who just so happens to be a guy, and it feels good.
It feels so good, in fact, that I might want to be even closer to him. I don’t know why, but in this moment, I want to be as close to him as two men can get. Without crossing any sort of line, of course.
Because we’re just friends.
Just… friends.
My hips shift, arm sloped around his waist, with my head tucked into that sweet spot between his neck and his chest. His throat is right in front of my face, and when my eyes crack open, I see his Adam’s apple dip.
Is he awake?
He’s such a man… There would be no disguising it. Not that I should want to…
I don’t know what I’m thinking.
One of my hands trails along his side as I subtly push myself into him some more, melding our bodies together like a fusion of two very different metals. Ren hums, and the sound tickles the pit of my stomach.
He’s definitely awake. And he likes it… how close we are. It makes him happy.
I make Ren happy.
My mind drifts to his teasing before we fell asleep… about friends experimenting.
Maybe that’s what we should do… Because I have no experience with anything, and Ren’s here, and he feels really good… Warm…
Maybe I could see how it feels to just… try.
The air around us grows a hundred degrees warmer in a split second. My hips are moving. They haven’t stopped. It’s just happening, so slowly it’s barely noticeable. But the more it happens, the more the gentle rocking turns into an intoxicating writhe. A gentle, sensual grind that he’s meeting with his own.
God, this is awkward. What am I doing? I should stop…
I should… not stop. I don’t want to. Not yet.
Just a little more…
We’re moving together now, an ebb and flow of our hips, taut, heated bodies crashing together like easy ocean waves. A ragged breath leaves my lips on its own, and I feel my face flush in humility at my eagerness to chase this new sensation.
Fire is spreading below my waist, an unfamiliar ache building between my legs that’s embarrassing me because I don’t know where it came from or why I’m suddenly so needy for more.
We’re supposed to be just friends, innocently cuddling… and now we’re humping through our clothes.
I’m such a weirdo… Why am I doing this to him? He probably thinks I’m a freak.
I bury my face in the crook of Ren’s neck, my entire body shivering with confused want that I just don’t understand.
“W-we should… s-stop.” My lips tremble against his warm flesh. But I’m not stopping.
“Don’t stop,” he purrs, clutching me to him. “This feels too good.”
He’s right. It feels so fucking good. Way too good to stop.
I have an erection. My dick is actually hard, harder than it’s ever been before. And I can feel his too… Big and solid.
He’s a man with a big, hard cock, just like mine.
God, my friend’s dick is so big… and hard…
My hips seek it out, dragging mine along the length of his. The throbbing between my legs with our cocks rubbing together is almost painful. But I like it.
I didn’t know I liked it… I didn’t know I could feel this with a guy.
“I… I’m confused,” I whisper. “You make me nervous, Ren…”
My face is like a furnace, but now I’ve shifted on top of him, and I’m thrusting.
Ren spreads his legs to make room for me. “Just do what feels good.” His voice is rich and smooth, like melted caramel. “Don’t overthink it.”
My face is still smashed in his neck because I’m too afraid to look at him. But I refuse to stop working my hips between his legs. It’s some kind of primal instinct to move this way… To fuck into him for some friction to soothe this desperate ache.
“You’re so hard…” I whimper, timidly slipping my tongue between my lips to lick his neck.
He tastes salty and sweet.
My heart is racing faster than ever.
“Want me to move it?” he breathes. “I can roll over, or…”
“No. I like it.” My voice cracks.
I’m fucking humiliated, but it feels way too good to care.
“Just use me to get off, baby,” he whispers. “Use me to see what you like.”
I’m fucking spinning, gripping his shirt in my fist while I pump my cock against his. It’s euphoric, grinding into him like this, my dick pulsing sticky stuff all over the inside of my pants. I’m lost in a haze, sexual desire and lust clouding everything around us. I’m gasping and Ren is groaning, and I’m trying to be as quiet as possible, but it’s hard when I’ve never felt anything so intoxicating.
“Ren…” I mewl his name, my balls drawing up tight like I might come.
No, not yet… I don’t want to embarrass myself.
But then I remember what he said about wanting a virgin…
Does he think it’s hot? Me being so needy and inexperienced I’m about to come in my pants just from rubbing myself on him?
This is a guy who has sex all the time. I try not to think about what he actually does, but I get the idea that he likes to be the one who receives. How can someone who knows about that kind of pleasure be turned on by a virgin dry humping him?
This is the problem… I know it is. It’s not about me not be able to feel this with a guy. Clearly, I can.
It’s about me feeling like I couldn’t possibly be enough for this guy.
“Mmm… Lex,” he hums, gliding his hands down to my butt. He cups my ass and shoves me down harder into him.
I groan, loins coiling up. He likes it. He likes it too.
“Could you… come,” I choke out the words. “Could you c-come like this?”
His broad chest lifts as he arches up to me. “Baby, anything you do with me will make me come.”
I swallow hard, kissing his throat. “Really?”
“Mhm…”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, Lex, baby, I’m so sure…”
Baby…
“Are you l-lying?”
He shakes his head. “No. Not this time, I promise.” He pushes his hips up. “Feel this, beautiful?” I nod slowly, trembling, my knees shaking as our cocks rut together. “This doesn’t lie.”
“It’s really big,” I purr, grinding into him so hard I’m getting rug-burn on my dick. But I don’t even care. God, it feels so good.
“Yours is too,” he croons, squeezing my ass in two fistfuls.
“I know,” I murmur, sucking on his neck just a little.
He chuckles, such a deep, sexy sound. “Mm… Cocky Lex. I like it.”
“What if I come?” I rasp. “It’ll get everywhere…”
“You can use my mouth.”
A thump of nervous arousal hits me in the nuts, and I shudder. “I… I don’t know…”
That might be too much. We’re going too far.
Friends don’t come in their friends’ mouths…
“Whatever you wanna do, baby,” he moans. “I’ll give you anything, you know that.”
I’m suddenly overcome by intense, gnawing emotions. I have no clue where they came from, but they’re blazing inside me like huge, ravenous flames.
“Ren,” I whimper, lifting my face and grabbing his jaw.
And before I can even process it, I’m kissing him.
