Fragments alabaster peni.., p.63
Fragments (Alabaster Penitentiary Book 4), page 63
He’s so strong, and he’s come so far.
“I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, Warren,” I hum, kissing him softly.
“Are you sure?” he mumbles, and I chuckle. “It’s probably gonna be really hard. I’m a total nutcase.”
“You are,” I tease. “But you’re my nutcase. I think you’re perfect, baggage and all.” He breathes, grinning over my lips. “I promise, baby, I’ll do everything I can to find Dash. We’ll find a place to go where we can live… and get married.” He beams, releasing a soft sound of excitement. “Where you can tattoo and go to therapy, and I can hack into things.”
He laughs. “Not the Pentagon this time.”
“Oh God, no,” I scoff. “I want none of that mess.”
We both chuckle, and he sighs. “Are you sure you’re okay with all of this…?”
“All of what?”
“Leaving California… for good?”
“Well, I assumed we’d need to eventually.”
He gives me a knowing look. “I just thought maybe you were hesitating.”
Blinking at him, I watch his lips twist in that smug way he does when he knows he’s right.
He’s just so insufferable, I swear.
And I’m the crazy person who loves it more than anything.
“Okay, maybe I’ve been hanging onto the idea of being close to my parents,” I grumble. “I hate being so close to them and not being able to see them.”
“Then why don’t we?” he hums.
I shake my head. “It’s too dangerous…”
“I’m sure we could figure something out,” he offers supportively. “At least just one time, so you can finally say goodbye.”
The thought of it has my heart leaping. I would love more than anything to just see my mom and dad one last time.
And maybe I could introduce them to Ren… I’m sure they’d be all sorts of confused, about a lot of it. But they deserve to know that I’m alive, and that I’m in love.
They deserve to know my fiancé.
“I can tell by your silence that you’re on board.” He grins. “So it’s settled. We’ll find Dash, find our landing spot, and then arrange to see your parents before we go.”
He kisses my lips, then rolls over, giving me his back.
I chuckle. “That’s it? Conversation over?”
“Mhm,” he breathes. “It’s all settled. Now, big spoon me, baby.”
“As you wish, princess.” I curl up into him from behind, kissing his shoulder.
“I know I should hate that, but I won’t lie… I’m feelin’ it.”
Rumbling content laughter, I close my eyes and drift back off.
No more dread in my head.
In the morning, Tauren brings Ren and Colson down to the beach to surf, while Cyrus and I stay inside like the big dorks we are, resurrecting an old bit of nostalgia.
“Alright, look here. The nukes have been dropped,” Tony barks into my ear through the headset. “I expect to see you all rallying right now.”
“But I’m hanging up posters in my house,” Reno whines.
“I’ve got you, buddy!” Cyrus gasps, sitting next to me on the couch. “I’ma comin’!”
“Hang on. I’m too heavy,” I grumble.
“Look at this noob,” Tony jeers. “Been outta commish for a while, huh hot stuff?”
“You’re one to talk. You never play this game anymore,” Reno says.
“You’re right,” Tony sighs. “Why are we playing this again? There are, like, a million better games out there.”
“Because! It’s for old times’ sake,” Cyrus whines.
“Yea. Honestly, fuck the nukes,” I huff. “Let’s just talk shit like we used to. Remember when Cyrus ranted for forty-five minutes about the order of best Batmans?”
We all laugh, while Cyrus shakes his head.
“It’s because the list is so obvious, and anyone who doesn’t agree can suck my butt,” he mutters.
“Bro, I’m not getting into this with you again,” Reno replies. “And I’m definitely not sucking your butt.”
“In what conceivable world is Keaton better than Bale, though?? Honestly,” Cyrus starts up, and I’m wheezing. “No, seriously! I really want to know what your thought process is here.”
“Um, my thought process is that Keaton is a legend,” Reno argues.
“I’m not doubting that. I’m just saying as far as who brought Batman to life the best,” Cyrus says with confidence, “Bale has to beat Keaton. It’s just a fact.”
“Luthor… This is all your fault,” Tony gripes, and I snicker.
“I know, it’s hilarious. You should see how red he’s turning.” I peek at Cyrus, smirking.
He shoves me. “I am not. I just happen to be very passionate about Batman, is all.”
“Yea, no shit. This argument has been going on for, like, six years,” Tony laughs.
“Come on, fellas. You can’t count the time the debate was paused!” A familiar female voice suddenly bursts into our ears. “Just like you can’t count on Cyclops to be unbiased about the Batman with the hottest growl.”
Cyrus and I gape at each other.
“Leah?!” I gasp.
“The one and only,” she croons.
“Oh, shit!” Tony shouts.
“The gang’s back together! Ride or fuckin’ die, bitches!” Reno goes off.
“Leah, holy shit!” My chest swells. “It’s so good to hear your voice, man! How’s it hangin’??”
“Always down to the floor, Luthy.” She chuckles. “Long time, no talk… I wasn’t sure you were still… active.”
I grin. “Yea, some shit went down. But it doesn’t matter. I’m here now.”
There’s some music playing through her mic that sounds a little familiar.
“Yo, Leez, what are you listening to?” Reno asks.
“CBV,” she says, and Cyrus starts smacking me on the arm over and over. “He’s one of my favorite artists.”
“That’s dope.” I beam at Cyrus while he falls over onto his side.
“Yeaa… uh! That shit’s a jam!” Reno is vibing. “Turn it up!”
“So, Luth… What’s new?” Leah asks. I can hear a million unspoken things in those two words.
“Well… I’m… um,” I shift. “I’m actually seeing someone.”
Cyrus coughs, “Don’t be a bitch.”
“I’m engaged,” I add, scowling at him.
“Oh my God, that’s fantastic!” she cheers.
“Bro… excuse you,” Tony grumbles. “You didn’t tell us you were engaged!”
“Yea, when’d you pop the question??” Reno asks.
“Only a few days ago.” I focus on making food and supplies in the game to avoid how much heat is rushing to my face.
“Congratulations,” Leah sings. “Who’s the lucky creature?”
My face breaks in two, and I whisper to Cyrus, “Love her.”
“She’s seriously the best,” he hums.
“His name is Ren,” Tony answers the question for me.
“Yes, and he’s quite fetching,” Reno adds.
“Ahh, I see,” Leah says. “So this Ren, is he like us…? Or is he, ya know… Cool?”
Cyrus snorts.
“He’s so stinkin’ cool,” I sigh, and they cheer.
“Oh yea! Luthor bagged a jock!” Reno exclaims.
“He’s not a jock.” I frown. “Even though, he is really good at basketball. But he’s more like a… rich socialite.”
“Living for it.” Leah chuckles.
“But he doesn’t act that way,” I tell them. “He’s more… Oh man, what’s the word I’m looking for?”
“Sweet?”
“Genuine?”
“Dangerous?”
“Yes! All of those,” I hum, and Leah cackles. “You can’t describe Ren with words… He’s just Ren.”
“And you love him?” Leah asks.
I have to bite back my grin. “Yea… I do. Like, too much.”
“So I guess you do know how to feel it then… huh?” I can hear the smile in her voice.
And a giant grin covers my face to mirror it. “I guess so.”
“Well, we fully expect to be invited to the wedding,” Tony says.
And now I can’t stop thinking about this crazy wedding that’ll probably never happen. With all of our friends and family… It’s a nice thought.
I can dream, right?
“Okay, anyway, enough about Luthor’s Prince Charming,” Reno rumbles. “Back to this Batman list.”
“Oh, Jesus…” Leah sighs, and we laugh while the two of them continue their six-year-long debate.
We’re joking around and talking shit more than we’re actually playing, and it feels just like old times. The sun begins to set, and we eventually say goodbye for now to our crew to set up for dinner.
I can see Ren, Colson, and Tauren walking back up from the beach, laughing. And it fills my heart with joy. And not that I want to think about it, but even if it all came crashing down right now, at least I’d have these memories.
The thing is, you have to stop and recognize when you’re in the good times. Force yourself not to take moments of bliss for granted. Because the memories are great, but they don’t hold a candle to the real thing, and you’ll always wish you could get this back.
By some flick of cosmic fate, I got a second chance. To laugh with my friends, to have a real life and experience love outside of that tomb that held me for so long.
And I refuse to let it slip through my fingers again.
I’ll savor every moment while I still can. Because life is too short, and freedom isn’t guaranteed.
“I’ll be right back,” I mutter to Cyrus, grabbing my phone and slinking up the hall.
I shuffle into the study and close the door, placing a call to Joy’s phone.
One last try… just to see.
It actually rings… My heart lurches up into my throat.
It’s ringing for the first time in weeks. Unfortunately, no one answers. And I hang up disappointed. I’m just about to leave the room when the phone starts ringing in my hand, startling me.
It’s Joy’s number. She’s calling me back.
I swipe so fast, I almost drop the phone. “Hello??” I don’t hear anything at first, so I check the screen. “Hello?? Joy??”
“Hello, Luthor…”
My spine stiffens.
It’s a male voice. Familiar… With a British accent.
“Why… why do you have Joy’s phone?” I stammer.
“Let’s not worry about that for right now,” Trevel sighs, smugly, causing my fists to clench. “Where are you and Ren? Far away, I’m sure…”
“Listen, I don’t want to do this with you right now.” I rub my eyes. “Can you just tell me if Byron is okay??”
“Of course he’s okay. He’s with me now,” he chirps.
My jaw strains. Okay… I’m gonna need to perfect teleporting so I can go knife this motherfucker real quick.
“What about everyone else…?” I ask, terrified of the answer.
“Boy, you two really ducked out just in time, hm?” He ignores my question and keeps blathering in that smug British tone that makes me all ragey and nervous. “It’s almost as if… you wanted this to happen.”
“What?” I grunt. “That makes no sense.”
“Maybe not. But maybe that’s how it seems to some of us…”
My head is spinning like a top from his crazy.
Now he’s, what? Brainwashing Byron into thinking we blew the place up and left him for dead??
“What’s your game, Fenwick?” I hiss.
I just don’t understand what the hell he wants. Why is he trying so hard to turn Byron against us?
“You know, it’s actually very simple,” he hums. “I want revenge. I want to take everything away from the man who’s taken everything from me…”
Dr. Love?
I gulp, worry coiling around my gut. I don’t know Dr. Love all that well, but he seemed okay to me. More importantly, he’s with Felix. So I’d say this asshole’s vendetta puts The Carver directly in the line of fire.
Felix Darcey can handle himself, of that, I’m sure. But something tells me this dude isn’t one for physical altercations.
He seems like a mindfucker of the highest degree.
“I know you’re upset, but just try to see the bright side”—I push my newfound optimism on him—“if it weren’t for Dr. Love, sure, you wouldn’t be in prison. But you also wouldn’t have met Byron. So… ya know. Silver lining.”
Trevel chuckles. It doesn’t sound very happy. “You’re sweet, Luthor. And you know what? You have a point.”
“Yea… See? It’s all—”
“With Byron on my side, it’ll be much easier to get what I want,” he cuts me off. “Being that he hates little Felix Darcey so very much. He’s practically foaming at the mouth.”
“That’s not really what I meant—”
“Things aren’t going well on this island, Luthor,” he mumbles. “Not for your people. The storm only made it worse… The place is in shambles, and The Ivory has Velle on the ropes.”
Bile begins to rise up my throat. “What does that even mean? What’s going on there??”
“Don’t worry about it,” he brushes me off flippantly. “Alabaster Pen isn’t your problem anymore. Just focus on taming your wild boy. It’s what you’re good at, right?”
“Trevel, listen to me—”
“I’ll tell Byron you said hello,” he rasps, sounding like he’s moving around. “He’ll be glad to know you aren’t actually dead. Yet.”
I’m growling a curse as he disconnects the call. “Fuck! You little twat!”
“Jesus, babe, what’s going on in here?” Ren pushes the door open, gawking at me.
I immediately place another call to Joy’s phone, but it’s going straight to voicemail.
“That son of a bitch…” I seethe, calling over and over, though it’s getting me nowhere.
“Who??” Ren grabs my shoulders.
“Fucking Trevel,” I exhale, raking fingers through my hair. “I called Joy’s phone, and he answered.”
“Holy crap…” Ren’s dark lashes flutter. “Is… is Byron…?”
“He said he’s okay,” I huff. “And that they’re together now. Or that Byron is siding with him… I have no clue. Ren, I’m worried. He said a bunch of shit, about Velle and them being in trouble…”
“He’s just messing with you, love.” He pets my face in calming caresses. “He’s an asshole.”
“Yea, but why would he have Joy’s phone…?”
Ren doesn’t have an answer to that, and it’s whipping up my nerves even faster.
I know it’s crazy to be concerned about that island and the people on it… Ridiculous, preposterous, downright fucking nuts. The place is a pit of despair, a tomb where we lost friends. Good people died because of that hellhole, and against all odds, we managed to escape.
We should be running straight to a new life, and never looking back.
But at the same time, that place made me who I am. It brought me a love I never thought I could feel, friendship I was too afraid to let in.
It probably makes me a fucking moron and a half, but I feel tied to Alabaster Isle, on some deep level I don’t even fully understand.
And I know Ren feels it too. I can read the emotions in his twinkling blue eyes.
“Maybe I can try to reach Lem…” I mumble, and Ren nods, pulling me closer to him by my waist. “Or Velle… Find out what’s really going on over there.”
“And? Then what…?” Ren asks, and I blink.
“I don’t—”
“What if… What if they need help? What’s the plan, baby?” His head wobbles. “I mean, are we really going to go back, after risking our lives… after everything we went through getting off that island?? Can you honestly tell me you think going back there is a good idea??”
“No,” I mutter. “No, I can say with almost absolute certainty that it’s a terrible fucking idea.” He lets out a slow breath. “Listen, baby, I would never even suggest anything unless you’re totally on board. We’re a team. We move together, no matter what… Okay?”
He nods, showing me his vulnerability. And we’re both silent for a moment, clinging to each other until he mumbles, “So, what do you think it is…? Like an uprising? Us versus them type shit?”
“I don’t know,” I sigh. “But I can’t stand the idea of them being in danger. Joy, Rook, even Velle. I mean, as fucked up as they were, they’re our family. And Byron…”
I shake my head solemnly, and Ren gnaws on his lower lip, clearly deep in thought.
“The Ivory has a weakness,” he says softly, blue eyes widening.
“If it comes down to it, baby…” I push his hair back gently with my fingers. “If they need us…”
Ren blinks, then scoffs. “We’re not heroes, Luthor.”
“Nope.” My lips curve. “Just villains with better disguises.”
this is not THE END.
SNEAK PEEK OF SHADOWMAN: ALABASTER PENITENTIARY, VOLUME 5
Feel heavily, or feel nothing at all.
Those are the two wildly different sides of my personality.
Sometimes I’m empty. Dead inside.
Lost like a shadow, existing only as a silent, lurking piece of someone else.
Other times, my heart races so fast, and my chest cinches so tight, I think my ribs could snap. My mind captures a thought. Traps it the way a child traps a butterfly in a jar, to ogle with wide eyes while it flutters about… Then ultimately dies from lack of oxygen because I forgot to poke air-holes.
Do I resent being like this?
Yes. Of fucking course I do.
It’s not exactly fun to live each day not knowing how I’ll feel the next. If I’ll be stewing in a silent ache of emotions that make me want to scream and punch the wall until my knuckles are bloodied to the bone…
Or if I’ll be a corpse.
But the thing is, no one knows about any of it. These are things that rest beneath my surface, and nobody ever gets that deep.
The world is full of narcissists. Human beings are inherently self-involved, which certainly enabled me when I was free. Before I got locked up, I adored how engrossed people were in their own bullshit.
