Fragments alabaster peni.., p.37
Fragments (Alabaster Penitentiary Book 4), page 37
His dick isn’t like Lex’s, but it doesn’t matter. It’s all about what I’m seeing in my head; my sweet, sad boy, overcome with fueling anger.
God, Lex… Baby, give it to me.
Fuck me like I’m yours and you hate it so, so much…
I’m sweating and squirming with need, clinging to him as spits on his hand, massaging as much wetness as possible onto my hole. Only a moment later, he’s pushing into me, setting my whole body on fire.
“Ungghhfuuuck,” I groan, and he shudders.
The piercing… Holy fuck, it gets me every time.
“That’s it. Open for me.” His voice is deep and hoarse, but his tone has gone soft, as if he’s talking someone through this raw fucking. Someone who is definitely not me. “Is this how you want it in you? Deep and hard, tight hole stretching wide for this cock…” He gives me a diesel thrust, driving up until his pelvis is on my cheeks.
“Fffuck…” I choke, body jostling in his arms as he pulls back, then pumps me full again, developing a steady pace. “Oh God, Lex…”
“Mmm… You’re such a slut right now, aren’t you…?” His voice echoes, and it sounds like Lex. Because I want it to be him. So it is him. “Anyone could walk in here and see you full of cock…”
I’m whimpering, whining, leaking inside the cage. My dick is numb from the steel trapping it in place, but I’m still pulsing out throb after throb while he pounds me good, hips rippling, feeding me. Nourishing me.
“Baby, I l-love y-you…” The words spill from my lips on broken sobs. “I’ll… n-never… hurt you… again.”
“No, you won’t,” he growls, holding my ass in one hand while the other grasps my jaw. “’Cause now you kneel for me.”
His lips capture mine, kissing me deep and possessive, purring and panting, his tongue dominating my mouth. I imagine Lex kissing me this way… It’s been too long since I’ve tasted his frantic need, felt his greedy lips sucking, teeth hungrily biting me, subduing me like only he can.
My body is quaking, rushing closer and closer to an orgasm I shouldn’t be able to reach every time his dick stabs at my prostate.
A large hand falls to my caged cock, and he moans softly, “Does it hurt?”
I nod fast and whine, “Yea…”
“You aching in here, Daddy?”
Fuck… What?? My nuts throb. “Yea…”
“You think you’re gonna come like this?” His fingers massage my balls, pulling my orgasm right up to the surface.
“Ohhfuckyeaa…”
“Mmm, that’s good, Daddy… Squeeze my dick in that ass.”
The pure filth filling my ears mixes up with the fantasies in my brain, my hole clenching on Lex’s perfect cock. “Lex, baby, I’m gonna come…”
“Come with my dick in you.” He rushes the words out, fucking and fucking, every muscle in both our bodies tight and ready. “Fuck, I’m gonna breed you so deep you’ll never get rid of me.”
Holy oh my God…
Suddenly, I feel movement. Hear a clinking of metal.
And a wave of euphoria crashes over me at the sensation of my dick being freed from the cage.
“Oh, fuck oh fuck ohhhfuuuck…” I’m crying. Literally. Tears are streaming down my face as my dick blows up and sprays everywhere in an instant, so fast it hurts. It actually fucking kills, but it feels so fucking good. “Fuck the c-cum out… Fuck, Lex, fuck the fucking cum out of… m-my…”
A hoarse groan leaves his lips as he kisses me hard, swallowing all my rambling words while cum shoots from my cock in such aggressive pulses, it hits us both in the jaw.
“Take this hot load,” he pants, dick swelling and bursting inside me. “Fffuck, Daddy, take it good…”
The spinning goes on for a while. Longer than I knew it could. I can’t feel anything for minutes on end. I’m just breathing Lex in, our lips brushing together, chests heaving in tandem.
By the time I’m back on solid ground again, I’m swollen and sore.
Sated. Perplexed.
And when reality dawns, and my eyes creep open to find Velle gazing up at the camera again, biting his lip, my satisfaction is lined with sadness.
He’s not Lex.
He’s a dude I don’t love, dealing with his own issues.
We somehow wound up on the floor, Velle on his knees, holding me on his lap. He blinks at me, brushing a strand of hair away from his face before pulling out and standing us both up on wobbly knees. We’re both silent as he brings me to a locker room so I can get cleaned up. But rather than taking me down to the East, he brings me back up to gen-pop.
Outside the door to the row, Velle pauses, shooting me a look. “Never a word about that. To anyone.”
I nod slowly. I don’t plan on telling anyone the details of what just went down. But I do find myself wondering how Lex would react, knowing I used someone else’s body to be with him…
If I can’t have him, I’ll have to settle for the next best thing.
Velle pulls me into the row, opening the bars to my cell.
And both of our faces drop when we find Parker Freeman lying on the floor, lips blue and shivering.
Today…
Don’t do it.
Don’t… do… it.
My fingers are twitching with need, but I’m trying so hard to ignore it. I know I shouldn’t do it, but stopping myself is becoming increasingly difficult. It’s been gnawing at me for two days, and I know it’s only going to get worse.
Don’t. Stop it.
Do not touch.
It’s one of those things you know is bad, but man, it would feel so damn good to give in and… Scratch that itch.
“God, say something to distract me from this hell, please,” I whine, wiggling in discomfort.
“Don’t scratch your tattoo, Luthor,” Kang sighs, a knowing smirk on his lips as he rinses off next to me.
“But it’s just so itchy!” I pout, scratching all around it.
Not satisfying. I wanna scratch it, damn you!
My first tattoo came out really good—especially considering my slutty and ultimately foolish behavior while I was getting it—and it’s healing fast. I just never anticipated how itchy a healing tattoo could be, and Ren told me under no circumstances am I to scratch.
I’m desperate for some relief, and I can’t get it. Highly frustrating.
On the plus side, the itchiness is serving as its own distraction from the overthinking I feel inclined to avoid, regarding the other stuff Ren did to me that night in his cell…
Getting tattooed was supposed to be a distraction on its own. Now I need a distraction from the distraction.
My head is a very messy place right now.
I don’t know what to think about any of it. The situation with Ren has taken a turn for the crazy again, and it’s making me hate myself more than a little.
The thing is, when we’re deep in the thick haze of a lust so strong it can only be described as chemical, it feels like the greatest thing ever. I know I don’t have much frame of reference, but fooling around with Ren is satisfying on a molecular level. Like we’re supposed to be doing it; tangling together to make vital elements.
But then the literal second it’s over, I get the cold, hard bitch-smack of reality, right upside my head. With Ren, it’s never as easy as just fooling around, or even exploring our feelings for each other. We tried that shit, and guess what? My heart got curb stomped.
Objectively, I think I’ve forgiven him for hurting me way back when. But I’ll never be able to forget what happened, despite how much my dick conveniently gets amnesia when we’re alone.
How could I forget when I come back to the scene of the crime every day??
Right over there is where it happened…
The startling, gut-wrenching sight of the guy who was supposed to be mine, with hands that weren’t mine touching him, body parts that weren’t mine inside his body… Proving once and for all that he wasn’t mine.
And he never would be.
I can still hear the sounds… I can see him, hair hanging in his eyes, the flush on his face while his body moved with forceful thrusts. Visible guilt and remorse framed by the dazed arousal of secret sex…
It’s all still there. Nestled like a permanent back-up, never to be erased, no matter how badly I want it to disappear from my brain’s Cloud.
So even though Ren somehow casts these magical orgasm spells on me, doling them out like a sex wizard waving around the Elder Wand in his pants, I just know if I keep this up, I’ll always come away from it feeling stupid and sad.
Because he hurt me back then, he’s liable to hurt me again if I give him the chance, and I care about him too much to run the risk of fully torpedoing the friendship this time.
It’s too much. A place this boring shouldn’t be this stressful.
Thankfully though, right now I’m enjoying a few quiet, tension-free minutes to shower in peace, since for whatever reason, Ren is nowhere to be found. It’s a good thing too, because I think I’m going to give in and scratch this itchy fucking tattoo…
Just a little. One quick scratch. No one needs to know…
“Oh my God!” The familiar voice assaults my ears right as my fingers touch down on my ribcage and I jump, whipping my hand away fast.
“I wasn’t doing anything!” I spin to face Ren sheepishly.
He’s fully dressed, clearly not here for a shower as he scurries over to us with wide eyes. “You are never going to guess what I just heard…”
I let out a silent breath of relief that he’s not here to yell at me for scratching. “What happened now?”
Ren’s eyes slide down me briefly, lingering on my new ink in a way that sends a flush over my entire body. I can barely process what we did while he was tattooing me. My nipples are hard and achy just thinking about it… which means I have mere seconds before my dick decides to get involved. So I grab a towel, quickly cinching it around my waist.
Ren tilts his head like he wants to say and do so many things right now, and I’m just standing here, cursing these goddamn chills I get whenever he looks at me.
But I’m saved from the awkwardness when his eyes fling to Kang, expression turning grim.
“Uh, Byron, you might want to get dressed for this,” Ren says, and the mere fact that he’s telling someone to put clothes on is beyond worrying.
“That sounds serious…” Kang mutters nervously, grabbing his towel.
“Yea, I have some news.” Ren’s eyes shift around the room, making sure no one’s close enough to overhear. Kang and I share a look, dressing quickly as Ren takes a breath. “It’s about Kieran…”
Oh God… Not again.
Kang swallows visibly. “What about him…?”
“He’s dead,” Ren replies, phoning in the mourning a bit, if we’re being honest. “They found him dead in his cell… Yesterday, I think.”
Inside, my chest grows instantly heavy as I glance at Kang, my forehead lining. He’s obviously distraught, though he’s not one to show many emotions. But I can see it in his eyes, the sparkle of confusion and sadness; the rigidity in his posture and the way his fingers are squeezing into s fist at his side.
He blinks at Ren. “Was it… like…”
“Suicide? No.” Ren shakes his head. “He was stabbed. Like a bunch of times.”
A shivery breath escapes Kang, and he clears his throat to cover it up.
I feel sick right now, sorrow rolling in my gut. I’m all mixed up from so many different things, overpowering emotions flooding me with nowhere to go.
A breakdown is coming on, I can feel it… But a ragey one, not a sad one.
The bullshit of life in this prison is stirring up sudden irrational anger inside me, and I’m really just dying to take out on someone…
My eyes narrow at Ren. Might as well be the Disney Prince with no soul.
“Where are you getting this from??” I snap at him. “I swear to God, Ren, if you’re lying…”
“I heard it from Linetti,” he chirps, tone and expression still too casual. It probably means he’s not lying, but it also seems like he’s not even mildly affected by the fact that our friend was murdered.
I glower at his damn sexy sociopathic face. “So he just walked up and told you O’Malley was stabbed to death?”
“Not exactly. I overheard him and Brenner talking. I guess Joy called a meeting with all the guards…” He pauses for a second, in something that looks like fascination. “Kieran’s death actually isn’t even the biggest news…”
“Ren, are you fucking kidding me right now??” I interrupt his blasé shit-talking with a frustrated bark. “You are being entirely too flippant about this. O’Malley was our friend and he’s fucking dead. Don’t you care??”
Kang mumbles a curse under his breath, scrubbing his palms over his face while he turns away from us for a moment. O’Malley wasn’t just his cellmate, and they were close. I mean, none of us really had the best relationship with the dude, because he was an irrational, unpredictable wacko. But still, he was one of us, especially where Kang is concerned.
“Yes, I care.” Ren blinks at me. Fucking liar. “I liked him just fine.” He lowers his voice, watching Kang as he speaks so only I can hear him. “You and I both know he was nuts…”
“Takes one to know one,” I hiss.
He bites his lip like he’s trying to smother a grin, and I can’t stand it. I hate how much he loves when I lash out at him. He thinks my insults and my frustrations are cute, and it’s infuriating.
Seriously, there’s nothing worse than raging at someone while they just grin at you like you’re a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.
“Lex, listen to me,” he hums, stepping closer while I inch back. “Kieran was a sweet guy, but he was seriously damaged. After what he did… You have to admit, he sorta deserved to be stabbed a bunch of times in the face.”
I groan and rub my eyes. This dude is testing me right now.
He has a bit of a point, though I hate to admit it. Kieran O’Malley wasn’t just an angry Irish terror within these walls. He was actually fucking crazy. He drowned his baby brother in a bathtub and hid the body for four days. So yea… I liked him as much as you can like any of the lovable lunatics in this place, but his crime was like a neon sign flashing above his head every time you saw him.
I just can’t fathom harming a child…
“Okay, well, even so…” I mutter. “Byron is obviously upset, so could you at least pretend to have human emotions for a second? For him??”
Ren is nodding, pulling an obviously fake face of concern as a visibly edgy Kang stomps back up to us.
“Did they say who did it??”
Ren stares at him for a second, like he’s trying to gauge how much more what he’s about to say might upset him. “Well, no. But something else did happen around the same time.” He stops again to glance at me, and I’m about to slap him.
“Ren, for the love of God, just spit it the fuck out!” I huff. “Jesus, you’re driving me insane, and you’ve only been standing here for three goddamn minutes.”
Why am I so annoyed by him right now?? It’s like just being in his presence is making me all hot and itchy and fucking pissed off. I’m gonna scratch this fucking tattoo…
“Lexington,” he says my full name in his calm, patronizing way that drives me up the wall. “Do we need to talk in private?” His lips twitch, eyebrow cocking. “You seem really wound up, like you might need me to—”
“I am going to rip your tongue out of your head if you don’t stop fucking with me and just say what you need to say,” I growl, pushing into his space.
And he lets me, of course, blue eyes twinkling as he rumbles, “Dash is gone.”
Wait… What?
It actually hurts how fast my stomach drops. Like it just fell out of my body.
All of my unnecessary rage retreats fast, evaporating into nervous fear. “W-what do you mean gone…?”
“I don’t have details, but from what I heard, he’s not in the East or in solitary.” Ren takes my hand, lacing our fingers, and I’m too numb to pretend to hate it right now.
“But then where… where would he be??” I’m spinning out, shivering through impending doom.
Dash can’t be dead… He just can’t be.
My lip is quivering as Ren holds me by my waist, pulling me closer. “I’m gonna try to get some more information, okay, baby?”
He lifts our joined hands, placing mine over his heart. Then he swipes his thumb gently over my trembling lips. And I’m just too fucking shaken to pull away.
It always feels really good to be close to him when I’m freaking out, something he’s well aware of and uses to his full advantage. He knows that taking care of me when I’m upset is a way to weasel his way back in. And as calming as it is, I hate how he treats me like I’m some fragile doll made out of glass. It’s insulting.
I’m no bitch. I can take care of myself.
At the same time, his fawning attention has a way of settling some bizarre part of my makeup I just don’t understand. His hands on me are like a sedative…
“Wait, so then who killed O’Malley?” Kang jumps back in, snapping me out of it a little. I step back, Ren’s hands sweeping off me slowly as I go. Kang shoots me a quick, disapproving look that makes me feel stupid all over again. “Do you think Dash did it??”
“No way!” I gasp. “Why the hell would he do that? It makes no sense…”
“I don’t know, maybe because he’s fucking crazy?” Kang grunts.
“O’Malley is way crazier than Dash,” I argue.
“Okay, whatever. They’re both fucking nutjobs,” Ren intervenes. “The point is that they said Kieran was dead specifically, but they only said Dash was gone.”
“Yea, well… who knows what the hell that means,” Kang scoffs. “They’re probably both dead. Because that’s what they do in this place; they kill our fucking friends.” He hucks his towel at the bin. “You two need to get your shit together, and remember what’s really important here.”
Then he stomps away, leaving me standing here like the statue of a confused idiot who knows nothing. So many thoughts, all jumbling around like a big, fat mess in my head. All of this confusion and anxiety is making me sick.
