Contingency covenant of.., p.13
Contingency (Covenant of Trust), page 13
“Dad said he was sorry. It’s supposed to be over, right?”
Phil caught just a glimpse of Brad rolling his eyes.
“In the simplest terms, yes,” Phil agreed.
“That’s not right!” Brad jumped in. “Mom, tell him!”
“Brad, listen to Pastor Phil,” Bobbi said.
“No! If you won’t stand up for yourself, I will!”
“Brad! Sit down!” Bobbi said. The boy locked eyes with his mother, hesitated, then slumped into his chair. “Phil, I’m sorry, maybe we should try another day.”
“No, he’s fine,” Phil said, trying to reassure her. “Let’s try a different approach.” He reached in his desk and pulled out three pads of paper with pens attached. He handed one to Cooper. “Cooper, take Joel down the hall like we discussed.”
“Sure thing,” Cooper said, taking the pad. “Come on, Buddy. Let’s blow this popcorn stand.” Joel grinned, clearly thankful to be leaving.
As they left, Phil handed his wife the second notepad and pen. “Donna, you and Bobbi find someplace quiet.”
“You sure you want to be in here with him?” Bobbi asked before she left.
“Positive,” Phil said.
“Brad, behave,” Bobbi said, but he wouldn’t look up.
Phil listened for doors down the hall to close. “All right, it’s just me and you. What else is on your mind?”
Brad sighed. “Look, I came because of my mom, but no one on God’s green earth, not even you, can talk me into forgiving my dad.”
“Because?”
“Why doesn’t anybody understand this?” Brad said. “My dad is a liar and a phony. My mom should divorce him now before he does something else.”
“Divorce him?”
“Yes. It says that in the Bible for adultery. I looked it up.”
“The Bible says divorce is allowed, not required, in cases of adultery,” Phil clarified.
“Whatever.”
“Your dad has always been an adulterer?”
“I don’t think so, but who knows?”
“So he changed once, from a non-adulterer to an adulterer. Could he change again?”
“Can a murderer change back into a non-murderer? He can’t undo it.”
Brad argued like a lawyer’s son. Phil had to give him credit. “Then who has he hurt?” Phil slid the pad across the desk. “Make me a list.” Brad took the pad, yanked the pen from the top, scribbled some names, then slid the tablet back.
“You, your mom, and your brother,” Phil read. “Well, you left a lot of names off this list.” He took the pen from his shirt pocket. “What about the other woman?”
“What?” Brad yelled. “Don’t you dare put her name down!”
“Your dad took advantage of her, used her, and she may never see that she needs Jesus because of your dad.” Phil continued to write. “Then there’s me and my wife. I married your mom and dad. How does this reflect on my ability to counsel the couples in my charge?”
“This is not your fault.”
“I didn’t say it was my fault. It’s your dad’s fault. I’m just saying I got hurt. Then of course, there’s your Aunt Rita and Uncle Gavin, Danny, Kara, John, and Kelly, and your grandmother.”
Phil never looked up at Brad even as the list grew longer. “Everybody your grandpa knew, every client at the law firm, the parents of every student your mom teaches, all your friends and their parents, Boy Scouts, little league baseball players, Cooper and the other kids in the youth group, my church and my Lord.”
Brad sat up straighter in his chair. “Oh, I agree with you that my dad hurt way more people than he realizes. He has no idea how much damage he’s done.”
“Let’s start at the bottom of the list.” He pushed the tablet back to Brad. “Jesus Christ. He was beaten, spit on, and crucified for your dad. And here, your dad goes out and humiliates him all over again.”
“Exactly,” Brad said.
Phil smiled, and set the trap. “You know what 1 John 1:9 says?”
“Not right off.”
“A hundred years ago, when I was nine, I learned it like this. ‘If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.’”
He saw Brad grip the arms of the chair. The boy knew what was coming. The forgive part.
“Your dad has done that very thing, and God has forgiven him. You understand justice, right?”
“That’s what I want,” Brad said.
“Then that verse says it’s just, fair, and right for God to forgive and cleanse us if we confess.”
Brad lowered his eyes.
“More than that, after doing one of the most despicable things a man could do, your dad did one of the most courageous things I’ve ever seen.” Phil leaned forward. “See, you missed it Sunday evening. He stood up in front of the whole church, told them what he had done, then asked for their forgiveness.”
“He lied to them, too,” Brad said.
“A man’s hands don’t shake when he’s lying. He confessed and he begged for forgiveness. It was the most incredible church service I’ve ever been in ... because they forgave him.”
Phil pointed at the list. “Your brother has already forgiven him.”
“That’s because Joel doesn’t get it.”
“Your mom surely gets it, and she forgives him.”
Brad shifted, stretching his long legs in front of him.
“This is not about your mom, is it?” Phil asked.
Brad sat, biting his bottom lip, and Phil knew then, he’d hit the issue.
“Your dad is not the man you thought he was and you’re disappointed, embarrassed, and even ashamed of him. He let you down.”
Brad never looked up, and wrestled with each word. “Do you know how furious that makes me? Or how stupid I feel for thinking my dad was such a great guy?” After a long pause, he raised his eyes. “I just can’t do it, Pastor Phil. I can’t forgive him.”
“Son, I’m not trying to badger you into saying something you don’t mean just to get me off your back. Promise me you’ll think about what I said, and pray about it. At least consider the possibility that you might forgive him.”
“A very slim possibility.”
“Fair enough.”
*******
“Your office is a lot smaller than Pastor’s Phil’s,” Joel said, as Cooper closed the door.
“Yeah, I inherited a broom closet,” Cooper said with a smile. “But it’s big enough for my bookcase, my laptop, my couch, and my refrigerator from college. You want something to drink?”
“Thanks,” Joel said, taking a can of Mountain Dew from Cooper. He flopped onto Cooper’s couch and stretched his legs out.
Cooper pulled out a folding chair for himself, opened his soft drink, and set the can on the floor. “Okay, Joel, your dad cheats on your mom. He’s not at home anymore. Everybody’s on edge, and it’s not too clear what’s going to happen next. Does that about sum it up?”
“I guess.”
“How are you with all that?”
“I’m okay. Dad said he was sorry, and when everybody’s gotten over being mad, Mom will let him come home.”
“You mad?”
“No.”
“Afraid?”
“Not now.”
“What were you afraid of?”
“That Mom and Dad would get a divorce.” He downed his Mountain Dew, and debated whether he should rat out his brother. “Brad says they’re gonna split.”
“But you don’t think so. What’s the difference?”
“Brad won’t talk to Dad. Dad told me they’re not getting a divorce. He said he loves Mom, but he was an idiot. Mom told me that too, the ‘no divorce’ part, not the ‘idiot’ part.”
“So, you’re good?” Cooper asked.
“I’m good.”
“Sleeping and eating like you should?”
“Yep.”
“That was easy,” Cooper said, drinking from his Coke. “Anything else you want to talk about? Any questions?”
“Yeah, what’s the paper for?”
“To make Brad think everybody was doing the same thing he was so he’d cooperate.”
“Sweet.”
*******
At the end of the hallway, Bobbi and Donna settled in a classroom, taking corner seats at the end of a long table. “Phil may be through counseling us after this meeting with Brad,” Bobbi said, shaking her head.
“Nonsense. We raised two boys. Phil can handle him. So, how was dinner with Chuck?”
“Fair,” Bobbi said. “He and Brad had it out after we ate.”
“That’s not necessarily a bad thing,” Donna said. “What about you? Did you and Chuck talk?”
“He tried. Chuck would’ve talked all night if I’d let him.”
“But you didn’t.”
“I can’t. I can’t even look at him.”
“How did you get through the dinner then?”
“We talked about school. That’s a whole different part of my brain.”
“Honey, you need to talk to Chuck. I know it’s hard, but you have to work at this together. Have you talked to him at all?”
“Saturday, he came to the house, and I, uh, interrogated him.”
“Did he crack?” Donna smiled, but it didn’t lighten the mood.
“I nearly did. He told me everything ... everything I asked him, anyway. She’s a thirty-year-old lawyer. He started seeing her when I was out of town the second week of July.”
“Oh, Bobbi,” Donna murmured.
“There. That’s it. If I go any further, my imagination goes berserk, and I start wondering what he said to her ... how he kissed her ...” She squeezed her eyes shut, and tapped a clenched fist on the table, trying to push the thoughts from her mind. “Can we change the subject? Please?”
“Well, it’s not much of a change. Phil wants you to write down anything you want him to go over in counseling, either when he’s talking to Chuck, or when he meets with you both.”
Bobbi took the pad of paper and pen Donna offered. Where to begin? Questions swirled through her thoughts every waking moment. She pondered for several moments, then she distilled everything into one simple question. ‘How can I trust Chuck again when I can’t separate him from what he did?’
*******
Bobbi straightened chairs and put away the crayons and markers after her preschoolers cleared out of the Sunday school room. As she dropped her teacher’s guide in her tote bag, she spotted Chuck walking across the church parking lot, his hands stuffed deep in the pockets of his slacks. She ducked out the door close to nursery and caught up with him in several long strides. “Is everything okay?”
“Fine,” he said, but never raised his head or broke stride.
“You’re not staying for the worship service?”
“I’ve got a couple things I need to get done before I leave this afternoon.”
“You’re leaving today? I didn’t think you were leaving until tomorrow morning.”
“This will be easier on me. I won’t have to get up at three-thirty.”
“But you were going to slip out of church, and not say goodbye?”
“I didn’t want to interrupt your class.”
She pulled at him until he turned to face her. “Chuck, what is going on?”
“Nothing. I told you ServMed would be my life until it was settled.”
She studied his face for a moment. Something else troubled him. She knew it. “You feel okay?”
“Yeah, why?”
“You’re not sleeping. I can tell you’ve lost weight. You’re short-tempered—”
“Bobbi …” He shook his head slowly. “I’m fine. Everything’s fine.”
“Did you decide about the trip to Detroit? The All-Star game?”
“There’s no way.”
“We haven’t had a vacation in a couple of years. This is perfect. Why don’t you want to go with us?”
“I can’t afford the time away right now.”
“You love baseball ...” She glanced back toward the church to make sure no one else was leaving. “So you were gonna sneak out of church without telling me. You’re leaving early for Kansas City, and you don’t want to go on a vacation with us. It makes ... It makes me think it’s me, Chuck, like you’re avoiding me.”
“Bobbi ...” he whined. “If it was in September or October, I’d go.”
“So it’s just work?”
“Yes.”
“And you feel fine?”
“Yes, can I go now?” He flipped his wrist over and checked his watch.
“I’m not through, yet. I know it’s getting close to the time of year when your dad died. I know for me ...”
“I’m not you. Dad died six years ago. I don’t even think about it anymore.”
“What do you think about?”
“What kind of question is that?”
“Because you used to tell me. You used to tell me everything. Now, you don’t care what’s going on with me, and you won’t open up—”
“This is ridiculous. I’ve got to go.”
He started to walk away, but she reached for his arm. “While you’re in the car this afternoon, I want you to think long and hard about what your priorities are. I’ll put up with this while you’re on this case, but come September, things have got to change.”
“Don’t lecture me.” He jerked his arm out of her grip. “My priorities are right where they should be! Providing for my family!” He paced away, but turned back and leveled a finger at her. “I’ll tell you what’s got to change! You, Bobbi! You used to support me one hundred percent. You used to build me up, encourage me, but now you hit me as soon as I walk in the door with a list of everything I failed to do.”
He raised his hand, holding it inches from her, counting with more anger and intensity with each point. “I’m not home enough. I don’t spend enough time with the boys. I spend too much money. I don’t meet every single emotional need you manufacture—”
“What? You’re mad because I want to spend time with you?”
“It’s not spending time! You want to control me. You weren’t like this when we got married.”
“And you weren’t a paranoid workaholic! I wish you could hear yourself. Who else is against you, Chuck, or is it just me?”
“And now you’re mocking me. Very helpful.”
“I’m not mocking, I love you. I will always love you, but right now, I can’t stand to be in the same room with you.”
“The feeling’s mutual, Sweetheart.” He stalked away, got in his car, and squealed his tires before speeding away.
As soon as he was out of sight, her hands began to shake and she had to brace herself against the nearest car. “Lord God, I don’t know who he is anymore.”
Chapter 11
Examination
FOUR WEEKS LATER
Friday, September 2
“Mr. Tennant,” the nurse called, and Chuck watched yet another seventy-year-old man make his way back to see Dr. Andy Hokoana. Even so, Chuck preferred the discretion of private practice to the speed of a clinic. The check-up was the last thing on Bobbi’s list, and meeting Bobbi’s requirements while protecting her privacy was just what he wanted.
Tuesday, he’d resume his normal work schedule and rejoin society. He ate with his family three precious nights and he met with Phil at least twice each week, but he spent the rest of his time alone. The loneliness gnawed at him.
He checked into a gym membership just to get out of his apartment, but after spending the trial evening surrounded by young women in workout gear, he dropped that idea. Far too dangerous.
Instead, he bought running shoes. Each morning he poured out his heart to God during his run, then he hit the books like a seminary student. In the afternoons, he worked at the small mountain of paperwork from BD&M, keeping Walter Davis happy.
Since he’d destroyed his reputation at Preston Road Community Church, he never hesitated to make his way to the altar during the invitation to pray. He confessed his pride, his failure to love Bobbi selflessly, and his undeniable refusal to listen to anyone who suggested he was wrong.
The more he learned from Phil, the more he marveled that Bobbi stayed with him, even before the affair. He took her for granted, never listened to her, and bossed rather than led, but she loved him in spite of it all. Every day he prayed for the opportunity to love her the way she deserved.
A nurse entered from one of the side doors and called his name. She smiled and held the door for him. “Follow me,” she said, with a bright smile. Leading him into an exam room, she scanned his file. “They didn’t write down the reason for your visit.” She looked up at Chuck with her pen ready to write.
“That’s because I didn’t tell them.” Chuck relaxed when she laid her pen down.
“Let me get your blood pressure then.” She quickly took a reading. “One thirty-two over eighty-six,” she said, and wrote the number down. “Is that typical for you? It’s on the high end of normal.”
“Stress.”
“You might keep an eye on it.” She straightened his paperwork, then closed the folder. “He’ll be right in,” she said and then slipped out.
Within minutes, an enormous Polynesian man came in the exam room. He stood at least six-and-a-half-feet tall, with his long hair pulled back into a ponytail. His glasses hung on a chain around his neck. “Hi, I’m Andy Hokoana,” he said, extending his hand. After the handshake, he flipped Chuck’s file open and slid his glasses on. “Well, Mr. Molinsky, when you won’t say what you’re here for, I know it’s got to be about sex. So what is it?”
