The problem of getting r.., p.1
The Problem of Getting Rich Quik ... Part One, page 1
part #1 of The problem of getting Rich Quik Series
the problem of getting Rich Quik…
part one
by
s m mala
Rich Quik
Get Rich Quik
Quik, Quik, Slow
Rich Quik
Chapter One
‘The end of a relationship and bereavement are similar feelings, I should know,’ Lily sighed into the phone. ‘Love and death, that’s what life’s all about.’
‘All I said was I’m dying for a pint,’ laughed Dominic at the other end. ‘You’ve spent too much time on your own, thinking, and that’s not good for your little brain.’
‘It’s good to hear your words of enlightenment after a fortnight,’ Lily laughed as she looked around her messy living room. ‘Are you really back in London?’
‘You bet! And from the sounds of it, in the nick of time because you’re obviously depressed and missing me.’
‘I’m not depressed!’ she huffed. ‘I’ve just been thinking about things and, well, life’s pretty hard.’
‘Okay, you’re talking to me here,’ sniggered Dominic. ‘You have a good life.’
‘Give or take a few things.’
‘Look, enough of your miserable talk. Did you record me winning the award?’
‘I recorded it,’ she sighed trying to snap out of her mood. ‘Who’d have thought you, a little boy from Manchester would win-.’
‘Are you saying I’m short,’ he abruptly added.
‘You are! And like I was saying, before you rudely interrupted me, you’d win an award and for acting! That’s quite funny for a comedy role.’
‘Have you watched the show?’
‘Well no, but I thought it was a comedy. Isn’t it a comedy?’ she sheepishly replied. ‘Because you’re very funny.’
‘Jesus, why are we friends? I’m highly talented, you know!’
‘But blimey Dom, thinking a rock star turned detective makes a good outline for a show and actually call it ‘The Rock Detective’.’
‘Don’t mock. I’m getting famous and they got it right.’
‘Got it wrong considering you can’t sing and you have about as much perception as a brick!’ hollered Lily. ‘You do make me laugh!’
‘Very funny,’ he sniffed. ‘Look, I wish I could come over tonight but you know what it’s like with the woman.’
‘How’s the evil one?’ Lily sighed knowing her comment would wind up Dominic. ‘The mighty Executive Producer of HQ Films.’
‘Rosana is fine, thanks for asking. She couldn’t fly out because of her schedule but I promised I’d celebrate my win with her tonight. She’s in need of some loving.’
‘Don’t make me churn and she probably thinks she owns half of the award,’ laughed Lily. ‘It’s not fair. She never wants us to go out since you moved in with her.’
‘I’m hardly ever here and she’s busy being important. I wish you two would try to get on.’
‘We did. It lasted until she kissed you, then I was enemy number one,’ Lily said knowing she still had her hands full with Rosana. ‘I mean I am your best friend!’
‘You know what she’s like. All icy until you melt her. I know how to melt her, baby.’
‘Personally I’d prefer if she combusted but if you’re in love, you’re in love, what can a mother do? I knew one day you’d leave home and start a life of your own,’ she said putting on her Manchurian accent that sounded more Pakistani. ‘I’m coming to terms with it.’
‘Listen, gorgeous. Sorry, I was looking at myself in the mirror when I said that.’
‘Ha ha ha!’
‘You two are the main women in my life plus my mum and maybe Stella at a push, then there’s Julian and he’s more feminine than the lot of you. You’re going to have to learn to get on. It’s been over three years since I got together with Rosana. You’re both going to have to try harder,’ he said with a distinct serious tone.
‘Great,’ said a disappointed Lily tugging at her heated rollers. ‘I’ve got to go to a charity function in town tonight.’
‘And talking about love.’
‘I wasn’t.’
‘Who’s your date? Do I need to ask?’ he said sarcastically. ‘Unless you’ve found a man?’
‘I don’t need a man! And yes, it’s Eleanor, again,’ Lily said huffily.
‘The mother of the antichrist!’
‘Look Dominic, you’ve been busy for god knows how long and I’ve been trying to get over the break up so-.’
‘You split up with Will eighteen months ago! Don’t expect sympathy from me!’ he snapped. ‘Only you, after two years of being with my mate, could call it a day.’
‘I had no choice. Is he still with the same woman he met a month after we split? Did you see him when you were in LA?’ she pried.
‘He’s well and with the same bird. He’s thinking about getting married,’ Dominic said quickly as Lily took a sharp intake of breath before gauging how she felt about it.
There was nothing.
‘I’m very pleased. She can give him something I can’t,’ Lily gulped.
‘What’s that? Other than a nervous breakdown?’
‘Babies. He can’t get that from me so it’s best he-.’
‘Man, you threw away something good,’ Dominic gently replied.
‘I couldn’t tie him down to a life with a barren woman! Shit Dom, I’m forty-three years old and he wouldn’t have much of a life with me so-.’
‘I don’t want to talk about this again, okay?’ Dominic groaned. ‘You know I think you made a mistake and not being able to have babies is-.’
‘A fact!’ she said loudly. ‘We tried for years. I couldn’t let it continue and now I’m happy being single and childless.’
‘Liar,’ Dominic gently said.
‘I know,’ gulped Lily. ‘If I was in my thirties, yes I’d be more positive but everything’s changed.’
‘I’m not listening!’ he sang down the phone.
‘It’s okay for guys to go and find someone else at any age but for a woman, for me, it’s not the same. I’ve lost my confidence and-.’
‘Your looks?’ he cheekily added.
‘You’re not helping,’ she sighed. ‘I’m thinking about getting a cat.’
‘No fuck way are you going to be a spinster with smelly mogs and looking forward to your menopause!’ he laughed out loudly.
‘And you’ll have to buy me new sex toys which I don’t use, I hasten to add,’ she lied.
‘Of course you don’t,’ he sarcastically replied. ‘And why’s that?’
‘Because the vibration will be too much for me and I’m bound to crack a hip with the onset of osteoporosis that comes with the change.’
‘You seriously could put a man off sex for life,’ he said in a deep voice. ‘Oh shit, I can see Rosana. I better go.’
‘Let’s meet on Sunday afternoon, okay? Will she let you come out to play and stay for the night?’ groaned Lily. ‘I’m in need of your kind words of support.’
‘I’ll tell her I want to see the accounts for the business. She won’t get arsey about me seeing you, if it’s about money,’ he mumbled.
‘Why are you whispering?’
‘I don’t want her to hear me.’
‘Chicken.’
‘I know,’ he sniggered then went quiet.
‘Are you still there?’ she asked wondering if Rosana had taken the phone and trodden on it if she got a whiff of who he was speaking to.
‘And keeping to your theme, I’m sorry I couldn’t be with you last week,’ he quietly said. ‘The anniversary of your mum’s death.’
‘That’s okay,’ Lily said breathing in, feeling the sharp pain in her chest.
‘How was it?’
‘I bought a pink balloon and released it into the sky,’ she said sadly. ‘Told her I missed her. Apologised for not giving her grandchildren. I skipped over the decent son in law bit and all that. I let her down as a daughter.’
‘You were a wonderful daughter,’ Dominic gently said. ‘You looked after her.’
‘She was my mum but she did expect me to deliver on the ‘happy ever after’ front and I ballsed it up,’ Lily gulped knowing she was on the verge of tears. ‘I feel like an orphan you know.’
‘You’ve got me,’ he gently said.
‘Is that supposed to make me feel better?’ she laughed. ‘That’s very sweet of you.’
‘It’s better than nothing,’ he sniped. ‘So how’s the decorating going? Have you still got the place full of gay builders?’
‘Just because they’re Julian’s mates doesn’t mean they’re homosexual. Anyway they’re easy on the eye,’ smiled Lily.
‘Even you couldn’t get a leg over from one of them!’
‘I don’t want a leg over and in answer to your question, the refurbishment is nearly finished,’ she said looking at the work tools in her in the living room.
‘How many weeks left?’
‘About five,’ she laughed then looked at the clock. ‘I better go and get scrubbed up.’
‘You should’ve given yourself at least five hours, Lily, you’re cutting it fine.’
‘Thank you little piglet. Bye Dom and it’s good to have you back home for a while,’ she sighed and hung up.
Lily ran upstairs and took her hair out of her heated rollers then laughed. She looked ridiculous so she brushed the large loose curls out then carefully applied make-up to look reasonably attractive.
She just thought it made her look oily but she was past caring. Lily threw on her midnight blue dress, shoes and grabbing her small blue sequinned clutch bag, rushed to the waiting taxi.
She was going to be ten minutes late.
As she got to the hotel on Charlotte Street she jumped out and saw people gathered around before slipping through, looking for her date. Lily felt her mobile vibrate. She opened her bag to find Eleanor had left a message. She listened.
‘Darling,’ she said in her posh, albeit croaky, voice. ‘I tried to get hold of you but you were on the phone for ages. I can’t make it tonight.’ Lily’s face dropped. ‘I know I’m one of the speakers but I have called them in advance to tell them I’m poorly.’ Lily sighed and walked towards the door, hoping to make a quick exit. ‘And don’t you bloody well decide to leave. Just stay there. For my sake.’ Lily stood still and turned around. ‘You might meet someone.’
‘As if,’ Lily grumbled.
There was only one thing she could do.
Get drunk.
Once she got her cocktail, Lily headed towards the garden and sat on a bench near a spectacular bush made up of exotic flowers. Glancing around the room she watched the elegant flock of guests. She looked up into the September evening sky and sighed. It was a beautiful night and she was surrounded by people but had her familiar feeling of being all alone. Then she noticed a yellow rose and it reminded her of Will. She smiled before realising how sad she’d felt over the past eighteen months and fought back the pin prick of tears stabbing at her eyes. Taking a deep breath she noticed some white lilies and shook her head is dismay when she thought of the man who constantly sent her them, before twisting the ring on her finger, imagining it was his neck. Then she laughed.
‘Lily,’ she heard before snapping out of her deep thought.
It was Jacob, one of the organisers. He was in his early fifties, very slim with a shaved head. Lily noticed his pinkish tan that betrayed the fact he used to have ginger hair, and smiled before standing up to greet him.
‘Hi,’ she said. ‘You know Eleanor’s not feeling well?’
‘Yes, she called me this morning,’ he sighed before smiling at her.
She noticed his eyes focussing on her boobs.
‘This morning?’ Lily blurted. ‘She only told me half an hour ago.’
‘She sounded quite upset about not being able to come. Maybe she thought she’d get better.’
‘Oh,’ Lily said, worried Eleanor was really ill. ‘I wish she’d have told me earlier, I could have gone round.’
‘I spoke to her not fifteen minutes ago and she seemed to be a bit perkier but not well enough,’ he said reassuringly and grabbed her hand. ‘Anyway, she wanted to make sure I looked after you.’
‘I’m fine,’ she said seeing Jacob was closely eyeing her up and down.
‘You look ravishing by the way.’ Lily gently pulled her hand away and forced a smile. ‘I’ve had to rearrange the table seating,’ he said apologetically. ‘I won’t be able to keep your company this evening.’
‘Shame,’ she said, feeling monumental relief.
‘But Eleanor has instructed me to sit you with her replacement speaker.’
‘Really?’ replied Lily wondering if she was going to be fixed up with all the single men in the room, who were usually too old, too young or slightly deranged.
‘We’ve got to take our seats,’ he said looking anxiously around. ‘Let me introduce you to the people on your table.’
‘No, it’s okay,’ said Lily, not wanting to be sociable immediately. ‘I’ll get there eventually and-.’
‘Don’t be silly,’ Jacob smiled reassuringly. ‘I promised Eleanor.’
‘And I promised her I’d stay, doesn’t mean I’ll do it,’ mumbled a disgruntled Lily.
Jacob weaved her through the crowd walking into the main room. They turned a corner and Lily could see a group standing together, the women laughing churlishly at something. Gently pushing through the gang Jacob suddenly stopped.
‘I’d like to introduce you to-.’ Jacob said manoeuvring Lily to his right. ‘Someone I think you ought to meet.’
Lily smiled then looked up while her jaw instantly dropped open.
‘This is Richard, Eleanor’s son. I don’t know if you’ve met before?’ Jacob said innocently as Lily was rooted to the spot. She could see from Richard’s expression he was equally surprised. ‘I’ve put you on the same table.’
‘Pardon?’ Richard said and glared at Jacob before turning to Lily.
She quickly examined her ex-husband.
In over three and a half years since she last saw him in the flesh, he wasn’t looking that much older and was annoyingly very handsome. His dark brown hair had a few more grey strands which made him look more like a sexual deviant. She glanced quickly away as his green eyes glared at her.
‘You know,’ Lily said swallowing hard. ‘It’s very kind of you to do this but I’m sure he’d prefer to sit with his friends.’
‘Not necessarily,’ Richard quickly piped up and Lily could see he was eyeing her up and down. ‘I’ve heard a lot about you.’
‘It was your mother’s idea to introduce you,’ Jacob quickly interjected as both Lily and Richard frowned at him before transferring the same look to each other.
‘I see,’ Richard said smiling through gritted teeth. ‘Match making is she?’
‘I don’t think so,’ said Lily before muttering. ‘She wouldn’t be that stupid.’
‘Well she’s out of luck as I’m with someone,’ he smirked.
‘Just the one?’ Lily smiled sweetly and was met with an equally insincere smile from Richard. ‘I need the ladies.’
She quickly walked away grabbing her mobile phone to call Eleanor.
‘Hello,’ croaked Eleanor.
‘Don’t bloody ‘hello’ me!’ hissed Lily. ‘Do you know your son is here?’
‘Really?’
‘You told Jacob to sit us at the same table, didn’t you? Why didn’t you tell me Richard was in London, England, Great bloody Britain?’
‘Lily,’ the calm voice began. ‘It’s been over three years since you laid eyes on him. Plus he won’t fling you into jail because of the injunction.’
‘You don’t think? He put a three year ban from me getting in touch with him for god’s sake and-.’ Lily shook her head. ‘His solicitor said if I break any of our agreements they’ll take legal action.’
‘He was angry with you!’ snapped Eleanor and Lily could hear the croak had gone. ‘I’m sure he’ll let bygones be bygones. Let’s not forget you put a restraining order on him.’
‘The look on his face a second ago shows I was completely right,’ she hissed. ‘I can’t stay here. It’s too much to-.’
‘You have to stay. Try and talk to him.’
‘Why?’ Lily yelled and realised some people were listening to her as she loitered outside the toilets.
‘I’m going to be seventy years old at the end of November and I want to have a wonderful party to celebrate my life,’ she gushed.
‘There’s nothing wrong with you is there? You’re perfectly fine,’ Lily said flatly. ‘You’ve set me up.’
‘I set both of you up. You’ve both got to try and fix this.’
‘He hates me,’ Lily groaned glancing around. She then saw Richard deep in thought, looking down at the ground. ‘I can tell now he’s hatching a plan on how to beat the shit out of me.’
‘Don’t be silly,’ laughed Eleanor. ‘You’re so over dramatic and he wouldn’t want to get his hands dirty.’
‘And there are other stipulations in the divorce settlement I have to stick to. This is going to cause so many problems Eleanor!’
‘You have nine weeks to sort this out, do you hear me?’ the serious voice demanded.
‘This is so public and-.’
‘It was the only way I could get you two together.’
‘I’m not comfortable about-.’
‘Please do it for me,’ pleaded Eleanor. ‘Just try and be civil.’
‘I know he’s your son but he’s still a little-.’
‘Bastard? Womaniser? Shit? Yes I know. I have to live with it and you’ll just have to put up with it.’
