Sister gumbo, p.20
Sister Gumbo, page 20
“All I could think about was the way Reggie had turned his back to me when I brought Tammi’s name up. I remember feeling like he was hiding something, but I didn’t want to push, so I’d dropped it, and I had no intention of bringing it up again, no matter what Randi said.
“I said, ‘I heard that same rumor and that Reggie and I had already discussed it. He said he doesn’t know anything about whether Tammi is pregnant or not, but he hasn’t seen her or talked to her, and didn’t even want me to mention her name. The bitch didn’t want him two years ago because she wanted to see other guys, so I don’t know why she would start a rumor like that. That’s a horrible thing to do to anybody. I can’t stand her, I never could, and now I know why. She has always been a troublemaker, going around acting like she so sweet and innocent with her high-yellow ass. I don’t even know how he could fall in love with somebody like her in the first place. And I can’t believe you even brought it up; you know Reggie better than that.’
“My friend said, ‘I’m sorry Lady, all I’m trying to do is help my best friend out. If you heard something like that about my man you’d do the same thing, so don’t get mad at me. If Reggie told you there’s nothing to the rumor, then I’m through with it. Forgive me for even saying anything.’
“We finished our lunch in silence, except for a little small talk about when I’d be leaving for good and what school I’d decided to enroll in. When she dropped me off at my apartment, we hugged and said we’d talk later, but deep down inside I was pissed off at her for planting that seed of doubt in my mind. Nevertheless, I decided to just let it go. Surely Reggie wouldn’t lie about something so serious. If Tammi really was pregnant, and if the baby was Reggie’s, then that would mean I’ve been a blind fool, and that was not possible. Nobody could be so in love that they’d be that blind.
“Reggie and I moved to New York and settled in. He was working for Essence magazine as a junior editor and loving it. I was working part-time as a receptionist for a hotel and would start going back to school in about two weeks. Everything was moving forward nicely until I went to his office to surprise him for lunch. The receptionist said she’d page Reggie to come up front, but I told her that I’d rather surprise him, so she showed me a little map of the office and told me where his cubicle was. As I came around the corner, approaching him from the back, I saw an eight by ten photo of a cute little baby boy on his desk. At first I thought he must be sitting at someone else’s desk, but no, his name was there on top of the cubicle plain as day, and when he turned around and saw me, his eyes said it all.
“He was on the phone discussing the layout for the magazine, and he began stammering and stuttering so badly that he didn’t even make sense. As I stood there with my mouth open, looking back and forth from him to the picture, I literally felt my knees get weak. I didn’t know whether to run, slap him, or scream, so I just stood there. When he finally managed to get off the phone, he had that Oh no, I think I just shit and stepped in it look on his face. I asked, ‘Whose picture is that on your desk Reggie?’
“He tells me, ‘Listen, don’t come up here on my job making no scene. I was going to discuss this whole situation with you when the time was right, but I knew you wouldn’t understand so that’s why I haven’t said anything yet.’ He looks down at his watch and said, ‘It’s eleven o’clock anyway so let me tell the receptionist I’m leaving for lunch and we can go somewhere and talk. This is not the time or the place but I guess I have no choice since you’ve snuck up on me at work.’
“I could not believe what I was hearing, and he didn’t need to say anything else. That baby looked just like his ass with those big eyes, and his ears sticking out from that little round head. There was nothing to say. And what the fuck did he mean by saying I snuck up on him? I guess I’m wrong for trying to surprise my husband with an unannounced lunch date, right?
“He grabbed his jacket and almost pushed me out of the office, but I swear my legs felt like concrete pillars, and that’s the only thing that kept me from putting my size seven and a half foot up his narrow ass. When we got outside and made it about three blocks away from his building, I just stopped, dead smack in the middle of the sidewalk, with New Yorkers bustling by me like I wasn’t even there. He looked at me like I was the one who’d done something wrong, and I looked at him like I still couldn’t believe this was happening, and even though I tried as hard as I could to hold them back, the tears came. I was so humiliated that words cannot even begin to explain it, but at that point I felt I had nothing to lose anyway so I screamed as loud as I could, ‘How could you do this to me you selfish bastard? You had me leave my family and friends and move all the way out here knowing that your ex-girlfriend was pregnant with your baby, and when I asked you about it you acted like you didn’t even know what I was talking about. I left everything that I know, everything that was safe, and this is what I get? This is what you do to somebody you love Reggie? Well if you can lie to me about something that serious, and still lay up between my legs at night like it doesn’t matter, then you’re a pitiful man. As a matter of fact, you ain’t even a man; I don’t know what you are. But don’t worry about it, just give me a few hours and you won’t have to worry about lying anymore because I’m out of here.’
“He said something about, ‘Please don’t leave me—I love you—We can work this out—I’m sorry,’ but I’d already turned around and was strutting down Broadway in my three-inch heels, crossing the street even though the DO NOT WALK sign was all lit up like a true New Yorker, and was on my way back to Oklahoma. I pulled out my cell phone so I could call home, then it hit me that I couldn’t call my mom because she’d get too upset, and I didn’t want to go through all the details with my sisters, so what was I going to do? Then as if that wasn’t enough, I remembered that because I wasn’t working at first, I’d used all of my savings to help Reggie out with bills when we first moved, so I didn’t even have the money to buy an airline ticket to get back home. I was stuck. So I just stood there for a moment, crying my eyes out, too delirious to think straight, when Randi’s sweet face popped into my head.
“I called her at work, but was told she was out with the flu. So, reluctantly, I called her at home. As soon as I heard her voice, I lost it. I tried to calm down enough to tell her that I just needed to get home but all I could get out was, Reggie and his ex-girlfriend have a baby together and I can’t stay here another minute.
“My friend Randi, as sick as she was that day, calmed me down and told me that I didn’t have to explain anything. Thank God I’d saved some of the boxes we used to move because she had a wonderful plan, but I’d have to work fast.
“She told me to calm down and listen. She said, ‘Go to the apartment and pack the largest suitcase you have with whatever you’ll need for the next few days. Then put some of those boxes together and pack whatever else you can in those. Call UPS and tell them you have some boxes that need to be picked up within the next two hours, use my address for the delivery, and tell them you want to send them C.O.D. and I’ll pay for them when they get here if you need me to. In the meantime, I’m going to make you a tentative reservation on American Airlines for a flight that leaves tonight, but I won’t pay for it until you call me back and let me know if you can make it there in time. There are flights leaving LaGuardia every other hour going to Dallas/Fort Worth International, and from there you can get a commuter flight to Oklahoma City. You’ll be home before morning girlfriend, I got your back.’
“I rushed home and threw everything I could into that suitcase and those boxes, crying and cussing the entire time. But when it was all said and done, and I was sitting in my seat waiting for take-off, I knew I’d be okay, eventually.
“Randi paid for my airline ticket, paid for my clothes when they arrived, let me stay at her place for three months while I got back on my feet, and never once said, ‘I tried to tell you but you wouldn’t listen.’ She didn’t even bring the ex-girlfriend’s baby situation up until I did, and even then she didn’t criticize me for being naive or stupid, she just listened and said, ‘Lady, a woman in love is sometimes blind, and you are not the first. You’ll get over this and you’ll be a better woman because of it, and I’ll always be here for you if you need me, even if you were to get into the same situation again. You’re my girl. But if my man does something like that to me, you’d better have plenty of money to come bail me out, because I promise you, I’ll do a lot more than just cry.’
“When I did get married a few years later, Randi was my maid of honor, and even though I have sisters, she is the godmother to my first child. True friends like her are hard to come by; they are few and far between. So I never let her birthday or anniversary or any occasion that she likes to celebrate go by without letting her know how much I appreciate her. She is and always will be my very best friend.”
PORSCHE, THIRTY-SOMETHING
“When I was a sophomore in college and it was getting close to Christmas break, I found myself wondering what I would do. My aunt and uncle had already told me they’d be spending the holidays with their daughter who was never really crazy about me, so I didn’t want to go there, and my ‘real’ family was still as loony as all get out, so I didn’t want to go there either. I finally decided I’d just stay on campus during the holidays and pick up some extra hours at my part-time job, so that the people with families could take time off. I figured that it would be better to keep busy so I wouldn’t have time to think about what I was missing out on and get depressed.
“My roommate, Chazz, was a really sweet sister from Atlanta. We’d become close during our freshman year, and as we discussed our plans for the upcoming holidays she started telling me about all the fun, traditional stuff her family always did. Stuff like eating at five different houses on Christmas Eve and ending up at her grandmother’s large, old, house where they’d munch on all of these fabulous desserts while drinking homemade eggnog which her uncles would spike, and laughing and singing Christmas songs all night, and then waking up on Christmas morning and holding hands in front of the fireplace to have prayer before opening any gifts.
“After listening to her talk and watching the expressions on her face, I could tell that she and her family were really close, and even though I tried not to let it show, I became really sad at the thought that I’d never had such a wonderful Christmas with my folks.
“When she asked me what me and my family were going to do, I explained my aunt and uncle’s plans, then burst into tears. I didn’t want her to feel sorry for me, but being the friend she was, she hugged me and cried with me anyway, telling me how sorry she was that I’d be alone for Christmas. She asked if I wanted her to stay with me, but after hearing about everything her family had planned, I couldn’t ask her to do that.
“Two weeks later as she was packing for her trip home, she asked me again if I wanted her to stay with me, but I declined. Lord knows it would have been nice to have some company and maybe do something special on Christmas day, but I couldn’t be that selfish. The next day I took her to the airport and told her to call me as soon as she got to Atlanta, so I wouldn’t be worried. She promised that she would, and then told me she hadn’t had time to go shopping so she’d be sending my gift in the mail. Of course, I got all sad again and we both started crying, but by the time she was ready to board the plane, we’d started people watching, laughing and making fun of just about everybody there, so we were smiling before she left and that made things better for both of us.
“For the first week of the holiday break, I worked twelve hours every day because the store was so busy, and by the time I got to the dorm at night all I could do was shower and go to bed. But on Saturday morning, I got the surprise of my life. The front desk clerk called my room and said I had a package that had just been delivered by UPS, so I hurried to put on my robe and ran downstairs, thinking it was the gifts my aunt and uncle said they’d mailed. When I got down there and saw this little envelope, all I could say way, ‘Shit. I ran all the way down here for a letter? Who the hell could this be from, got ya’ll waking me up all early in the morning.’
“‘Stop bitching and open it so I can see what it is,’ ordered Yolanda, the country little desk clerk who never seemed to have a day off. Ya’ll know how Sha-na-nay on Martin looks? I swear, Yolanda looked just like that, red lipstick, long fingernails, mustache, and all. ‘It ain’t got no return address, so whatever it is, I guess yo ass won’t be sending it back,’ she said and laughed out loud.
“As I was opening the envelope, the phone rang and old nosey butt had to turn away to answer it, so I started for the elevator, just in case this was something I didn’t want her to see, but she stopped me, yelling out, ‘Wait a minute, Miss Thang. This phone call is for you. She wants to know if you got an envelope this morning, but she won’t give me her name.’
“‘What the hell is going on,’ I said, ripping the envelope all the way open and finding a round-trip ticket to Atlanta inside with a short note. ‘Oh my goodness, no she didn’t,’ was all I could say. ‘Tell me that’s not Chazz Davis on the other end of that phone Yolanda. Is that her? Is that Chazz?’
“‘Is this Chazz?’ Yolanda said, smacking on her Juicy Fruit gum. ‘’Cause this don’t sound like Chazz, unless you trying to disguise your voice or something. What you say? Forget you heffa, I knew it was you anyway. Here Porsche, it’s Chaaaaaaz trying to sound like somebody else with her crazy self.’
“‘Chazz, girl what in the world are you doing sending me a ticket? I know you can’t afford this and you should be spending your hard-earned money on gifts for your family. I can’t come to Atlanta, I’ve already picked up hours for people at work, what am I—’
“Chazz cut me off. ‘Porsche, stop talking and look at the ticket, girl. Christmas is two weeks away, and your flight doesn’t leave until December 24 at 5:30 in the morning. Surely you haven’t committed to picking up hours all the way through Christmas and New Year’s too? Work all you want to for the next two weeks and tell those people you’re going to Hotlanta for Christmas! That ticket is my gift to you and my family is looking forward to having you spend the holidays with us, so what now?’
“I couldn’t help it, I was already crying because I was so overwhelmed, ‘Chazz, you are such a wonderful person. I can’t believe you would go out of your way and spend your money to have me with you and your family, just so that I won’t be alone on Christmas. I don’t even know what to say.’
“‘Don’t say shit except that you’ll be on that plane on Christmas Eve, ‘cause that ticket is non-refundable, non-changeable, and will self-destruct if you don’t use it. You coming or what?’
“‘I’ll be there, Chazz, with bells on. And tell your family I said thank you so much for allowing you to do this, I can’t wait to meet them.’
“‘Okay, okay, stop snotting the phone up before Yolanda gets pissed. I know she’s right there looking all up in your face with her disinfectant wipes ready. You know she thinks she runs that office, don’t you? I’ll bet she’s got her face all made up and has on that ugly red lipstick she buys from the dollar store, like somebody’s coming up on campus to see her or something, don’t she?’
“I was laughing and crying at the same time, because Yolanda was doing exactly what Chazz said she was doing, except that while she was holding a disinfectant wipe between the thumb and index finger of one hand, she was tapping those long nails of her other hand on the desk, staring at me with her mouth all pushed out like she was waiting for a kiss.
“‘Ooh girl, you are so crazy. I still can’t believe this but okay, I’ll be there. I gotta run so I can get ready for work. I’ll call you to see what the weather is like in Hotlanta before I start packing. I can’t wait to get there.’
“I left for Atlanta at 5:30 A.M. on Christmas Eve, and after meeting Chazz’s immediate family and eating a large, Southern breakfast which included biscuits made from scratch with butter and homemade molasses, yellow grits, and fried fish, I looked at pictures of Chazz growing up, and walked around her old neighborhood where she introduced me to some of her high school friends. Later that evening as we were in her room getting dressed for the festivities, I hugged her again and told her that I would never forget the wonderful gift she had given me.
“‘Porsche,’ she said, ‘don’t you know that’s what friends are for? It makes me feel good just to see you happy and enjoying my family for the holidays. What kind of friend would I be if I’d left you at school all alone with nothing to do but work? When we started this friendship we said we’d always be there for each other, and that’s what I’m doing, being there for you when you need me. You don’t have to thank me, just enjoy yourself and that will be enough for me.’
“I did enjoy myself, more than I imagined I would. I enjoyed her family, their food, their Southern hospitality, the spiked eggnog, singing Christmas carols, everything. The next morning when we gathered around the fireplace, we held hands to have prayer before opening gifts, as was their tradition every Christmas. I asked if I could say a short prayer of my own after her grandfather was finished. Well, Chazz and her cousins had warned me that Big Daddy, as they called him, didn’t really say too much most of the time because he was saving it up for his prayer on Christmas morning, and would drag it out until Big Mama cleared her throat, indicating that he’d prayed too long.
“They weren’t lying. Ten minutes into the prayer, me and Chazz’s hands started sweating, and then she started to giggle, and so did I, and so did her cousins, before her mother nudged her. Big Mama cleared her throat after what seemed like an eternity, and it was my turn. I quickly thanked God for the opportunity to meet such a special person with such a unique family, who had allowed me to come into their homes and make me feel as if I was one of their own. I prayed that this family would be greatly blessed for opening their hearts to me, and I also prayed for those who were spending Christmas alone. And finally, I prayed that next year Big Daddy would drink a little more eggnog on Christmas Eve so he wouldn’t have the energy to pray so long, and with that everybody burst into laughter and said a big ‘AMEN.’”
