Never without you, p.14
Never Without You, page 14
He remains by me as I put Bronwyn to bed, even helping me to get her settled by passing me all kinds of things. It’s weird, like we have taken on the little role of the family that we are supposed to be. The act has taken over us. We have a history of that, me and Noah, fantasy blurring into reality, and I suppose we’re risking that here. But if he’s going to continue being that nice about it, then I am all for it!
“Is she sleeping?” he whispers softly as he tip-toes across the room with a mug of coffee for me.
“She sure is… somehow. I didn’t think that she would ever sleep again after tonight.”
But I think she is because everything is more calm now, including me. I’m sure now that she picks up on my mood when I’m frantic, and with Liv on my case, I was a damn mess. But knowing that Noah is here has really helped me. I don’t know how to communicate with him, and how grateful I am for him just being around.
Instead of saying anything, I take the mug from him and sip the drink while watching him with sheer admiration. For him to embrace me and Bronwyn like this is incredible.
“Are you okay now?” he asks me with concern. “It’s been a wild night. And not in a good way.”
I roll my eyes. “Isn’t that the truth. But yeah, I think that I’m doing okay. I definitely feel much safer here, than I would at home. Knowing that she has been watching me is too much. I don’t want that crazy bitch anywhere near Bronwyn.” I shudder violently. “I will have to ask Shannon to come here to mind Bronwyn when I’m at work, which might be a pain.”
“I will pay for any cabs,” he jumps in and insists right away. “I want to make up for everything I have done, there is no denying that this is all of my fault. I caused this, so please, for my own conscience, let me do this. Let me help out as much as I can.”
I nod, because I can see how much he really needs this. He wants to finance everything until Liv is out of the picture, and I don’t mind letting him because I don’t want to lose everything because of this.
“If you don’t mind, that would be great.” I grab out my cell phone and wave it in his direction. “I’m just going to call Shannon and let her know now what’s going on. I will be right back.”
I’m leaving Noah in the same room as Bronwyn, just for a second, but I’m totally relaxed about it. Now that he’s spent some time with her, he seems much less freaked out around my girl which is nice to see. I like knowing that despite all the odds being stacked against us, we are going to find a way to make this work …
I talk to Shannon quickly, giving her vague details, enough to make her understand, but nothing too much, I can always tell her the rest when I see her, and I get back to Noah. There is something different in the air now, I can really feel it, burning between me and him. I have a funny feeling that it’s mostly coming from me.
“All sorted?” Noah asks, almost in a whisper. I nod, a little speechless myself. “Good, that’s good.”
I chew down on my bottom lip, wondering what I should do. We could dance around this and sit with one another all night long just avoiding the issue because it’s ‘what we think is best’, but I’m not sure that is what I want to do. I mean, we have already overstepped the boundary now, there is no turning back, and also, the worst has happened. We have had our lives threatened for daring to like one another. What does it hurt to carry on? As I twist my body around to really look at him, the sizzling between us overshadows everything else.
“I like you,” I murmur bravely. “And I want you to come over here.”
Noah’s eyes pop wide in shock, and I’m sure that he’s about to ask me what I mean by the word like, since it can have so many connotations, but I don’t want to answer anything, so I hook my hand around the back of his neck and drag his lips to mine. I have had enough fear and sadness tonight. Now, I want fun.
“Oh, I see,” he murmurs in pleasure, his words vibrating gorgeously against my lips. “It’s like that.”
“Mm, it sure is.” Another idea pops into my brain, one that I never thought would come to me. This thought has always been a very unpleasant for me, not something that I ever wanted, but since everything else has been incredible with this amazing man, then what’s to say this won’t be the same? I sure as hell want to find out anyway, so without a second of hesitation, I slide to the floor with a thump and position myself between his legs. I keep my eyes fixed firmly on his contorting face as I fiddle with his zipper to pull him free.
“Ooh!” I practically squeal with bliss as I hold him between my fingers. He’s big! I mean, I knew that much, I have felt him before, but I haven’t ever been this close, and I’m impressed… although not too sure how he’s going to fit between my lips. To give myself a little moment to steady myself, I stroke his length gently.
“Christ,” Noah calls out as his head tosses back in pleasure and his hands knot angrily up in my hair. He’s struggling already and I haven’t even started what I want to yet. My breaths are coming in hard and fast in a ragged manner, as the nerves and excitement about what’s to come get the better of me.
I lean my head in, allowing the sharp air exiting my mouth to tickle his tip. Immediately his cock stiffens more, almost as if he is physically crying out to taste him already, which encourages me forwards.
“Fuck!” I kiss his tip, relishing his taste as the expletives erupt from him. “Fuck, Kelly.”
I kiss more, up and down his length, enjoying myself far more than I ever thought I would. I need more, so much more, so the next time I reach his tip, I part my lips and slide him into my mouth, all the way until he hits the back of my throat. His sweet but salty taste is phenomenal. As I drag my lips back up his cock, I swirl my tongue around him, tasting every damn beautiful inch.
Each groan has me moving faster, every time he tugs my hair, I give him more of my tongue, when his thighs stiffen with pleasure, I even bring my fingers in to the mix, stroking his balls to coax the orgasm from him. He must love what I’m doing to him because he starts calling my name out over and over like a prayer.
I never thought that I would like having a cock in my mouth, not like this, but when it’s Noah’s it causes bliss to pool in my panties. I’m overcome with a deep and throbbing need. Now I want to really taste him, all of him, so when I can tell that he needs it, I pick up the pace and take more of him in. As much as I can.
“Oh God, Kelly!” he cries out as his salty seed slides down my throat, filling up my mouth with his lust. He tastes incredible actually, freaking delicious, I wouldn’t mind doing this for him all the time.
Especially if he will always give me that slack jawed loved up expression afterwards. Now that is addictive.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Noah
How long has it been now? I think idly to myself as I leave the hotel room to allow Kelly to sort things out with Shannon alone. I’m sure it makes it easier for her to talk in private. I don’t know if they talk about me or not, and I don’t mind either way. It isn’t like Shannon is a part of our circle or anything, it isn’t dangerous if she knows what’s going on. Not that I think we have too much danger ahead of us now. Two weeks? Nearly three.
Liv hasn’t been in my life for a few weeks now, and I am loving it. I don’t know if she has been warned by the police or if she has just decided to move on, but it seems like she might be done with me.
Of course, she doesn’t know where I am at the moment, which is a bonus. A big one, but I have been checking my house regularly and Kelly’s too, to make sure that we have enough stuff with us, and there hasn’t been any sign of anything. Nor have I received texts or emails from any number and Kelly hasn’t either. Even the calls to the university about me seem to have come to an end, so I think that it might be a success.
I take a seat in the front of my car, waiting for Kelly to come, and I smile to myself. Finally, I might have beaten her. I don’t know what I’ve done, but I don’t care as long as it’s worked. Maybe soon enough life can go back to normal… oh! Not that I really want life to go back to normal, I’m enjoying my time at the hotel too much. Being Mr. and Mrs. Boyle has been good for me and Kelly. It has given us some space to explore what’s going on between us without the eyes of others. Even if we are safe again, I don’t think that I am ready for us to end. I’m scared for everything to go bad again. For us to lose this amazing connection that we have because life will get complicated and possibly in the way again. No, I’m far too scared to lose what I have, the high point on the roller coaster that we’re living in right now.
As soon as I spot Kelly flying out of the hotel building and running towards me, my heart skips about ten beats. Yep, I’m definitely struggling to keep my feelings fun for this woman. I always have, because there is something about her that really gets to me, that I want to keep around for a very long time. Her beauty, her grace, the way that she handles herself… plus, her passion, her funny nature, the way that she cares for that lovely little girl of hers… everything about her excites me and makes me fall for her a whole lot more.
“Everything okay?” I ask her as she slides beside me in a cloud of gorgeous smelling perfume.
“Yep,” she replies, popping the p. “All good. Bronwyn is all settled and happy with Shannon.”
As she talks about her daughter, I can’t believe that there was ever a time when I didn’t know that she’s a mother. It’s so obvious, her maternal instincts are written all over. Kelly is exactly the sort of woman that you would want to be the mother of your children… that I might want to be the mother of mine… if it ever happens for me. I’m really trying not to get too carried away with my thoughts in that direction, but I am.
“Good to hear. She had a long sleep last night though, didn’t she? That always leads to a good mood.”
Kelly turns to face me with a giant happy grin on her face. “You are starting to get used to Bronwyn now, aren’t you? What makes her happy and sad, what she likes to eat, the whole shebang.”
I am actually, and it isn’t as crazy to be around a baby as I first thought. Especially when Bronwyn is so lovely. She’s good fun and I love it when she smiles at me.
“Well, she’s a great child to be around, so yes, I am getting used to her little life now.”
“I thought that you would hate it,” Kelly admits with a cheeky smile. “But you have taken to fake fatherhood well. I’m impressed. And I’m sure that Bronwyn is too. She has taken to you so well.”
I let out a chuckle and nod along with her. “I was scared that I might as well, but it seems not.”
I let that hang in the air and so does Kelly. I’m sure she wonders what that means just as much as I do. Does it mean that we can really have something here if we want to give it a try? That I can accept her whole package? It doesn’t feel like baggage anymore, just a part of her life that I want to be a part of.
“Well, I guess this is me,” Kelly declares as we pull up just around the corner from Stansford. I always drop her here because for now, we don’t want anyone to know about us, so her arriving with me every day isn’t a good idea since we don’t want tongues wagging. “I will see you inside.”
Just before she gets out of the car, I lean across and kiss her lightly. This part of the day always kills me because I know it will be ages before I can kiss her again. But at least I know that we’re going home together. That’s something I am not going to be mad about. It won’t last forever, will it?
“Right, well I will see you here later on,” I tell her before I let her go. “Bye, Kelly.”
I remain where I am and watch her walk away from me, smiling about my lovely little secret as I do. Then once she is out of sight, I pull my car into the lot and park it in my usual spot next to Leo’s car. I guess I’m so lost in my thoughts that I don’t even realize my best friend is in his car, probably waiting for me, until I step out of the vehicle and he grabs my attention, making me jump like a fool.
“Hey, Noah. Oh sorry.” He narrows his eyes suspiciously at me. “Everything okay? You seem jumpy.”
“I’m good,” I insist right away. “I was just lost in my thoughts then, that’s all. Preparing for the day.”
“Nothing to do with the stalker? She isn’t back on the scene, is she?”
I shake my head no. “Not a peep out of her for a while now, so fingers crossed she’s done.”
I start walking towards the building with Leo close by my side. He seems to have something on his mind, but he hasn’t yet found the right words to say it. I’m not going to push him because this might be a question that I don’t want to answer. If I really think about it, there are plenty of them at the moment.
“Did you want to come out tonight?” he finally asks me, which I’m sure isn’t the real question he wants to go with, but it might be leading to it, so I will just go along with it for now. “Me and other teachers…”
Oh no, I immediately switch off. I’m not interested in a night out with lots of people that I work with. I used to love those nights but not anymore. I don’t want to hang out with them, I would much rather be living my little fantasy life in the hotel with Kelly. I can’t help it; I’m losing myself in the dream.
“I don’t think that I can,” I tell him with regret in my tone. “I have stuff going on.”
“You always have stuff going on,” he complains. “And you won’t tell me what it is which is freaking me out, so I’m just going to ask you… do you have a girlfriend?”
“Erm…” I don’t know what to say. It would be a good excuse, I suppose, for why I have been so distracted and absent. “Yeah, I mean, kind of… it’s early days but it does feel like this might be the one I settle down with.”
“Oh my God.” After telling me for such a long time that this is what I should be doing, Leo looks oddly horrified by the idea of me settling down. I can’t help but fear that he knows about me and Kelly. “Please tell me that you aren’t with her? Don’t tell me that you have started dating the stalker because that won’t end well.”
“No way!” A loud laugh bursts free from my throat. “Oh my God, is that what you have been thinking?”
“Well, I just can’t imagine who would captivate you enough to settle down.” Leo shrugs bashfully. “I started to think that you might like the danger or something, and that she might not be letting you come out because she is so possessive. It sounds stupid saying it, but that’s what I have been thinking.”
“Well you can rest assured that I’m not that nuts,” I say. “I think that I might be losing myself in the relationship a bit, but that’s normal in the beginning, isn’t it? I’m sure that I will be back to my normal self soon enough. Then you’ll get sick of me wanting to hang out with you again all the time.”
“When do I get to meet the lucky lady?” he asks me curiously, ignoring my comment about going out.
“I don’t know yet.” Never, if we continue like we are forever. “Maybe just let me get adjusted first.”
“Yeah, okay, fair enough. I suppose this is a big change for you.” Thankfully, he’s letting me get away with this. “But soon you should let me hang out with the pair of you. I would like to see the woman who has finally tamed you. Because you are tamed, for sure. You are like a different person.”
We make our way into the building and towards the staff room with Leo teasing me about being whipped the whole way, not that I mind. As soon as we are in the staff room and near Kelly, I’m sure that Leo must be able to tell that it’s her who’s captivated me because I stiffen up immediately. I give myself away totally. But either he really is blind to it, or he’s letting my feelings slide under the radar because he wants me to wait until I’m ready to talk about it. I’m grateful for that, because I definitely can’t say anything yet.
Kelly catches my eyes and winks at me, a secret little signal that’s just for me, which makes me react all over even more. I honestly don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to hide my feelings from everyone else before they pick up on it and confront me. I won’t be able to lie for sure.
Me and Kelly being a secret has a timer attached to it. I just don’t know if it’s going to end with us parting or with us being open and honest. God, I really hope that it’s the second one and everyone is happy for us. I feel like we have already been through enough drama and challenges to last us a lifetime, we deserve to just be us.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Kelly
“Ooh, the takeout smells nice,” Shannon declares with a wink as she grabs her bag to leave. “But as I have said to you before, if you guys ever want to go out for the night, you are more than welcome to.” She spots the horrified expression on my face. “Oh, I understand that you don’t want to be away much at the moment because you’re afraid of what might happen, but honestly, there is no way some crazy stalker bitch will be able to find you here. And anyway…” She shows me her fists. “I can take her down. I did karate when I was younger.”
“You did?” God, Shannon is amazing, she can make me laugh even in the darkest moments. I feel like I am getting much closer to her with all of this going on because I need someone to talk to. Someone other than Noah who blames himself enough for this. I don’t want to pile the pressure on him even more. “What belt?”
“Well, I didn’t exactly get to a belt,” she replies bashfully. “I did a couple of classes, but I got the basics.”
“That makes me feel so safe.” I roll my eyes in a jokey manner. “Thank you. I will bear that in mind when I’m making my evening plans in the future. Thanks again, Shannon. You really are awesome.”
“I know it!” She flips her hair playfully over her shoulder. “But so are you. Don’t forget that. And Noah is as well. I don’t know him too well, he doesn’t stick around to chat to me, but he seems like a nice guy. You need a man like that in your life, one who treats you right… that’s a rare find in this day and age.”
