Never without you, p.19
Never Without You, page 19
Fucking hell, she’s telling the truth, I can see it. It’s written all over her face. I might not know her well, but I can see this. She no longer looks like the threat that she has always been to me, but instead she’s a fearful little girl who needs help. Help from a professional just like I thought she might. At least she has realized it herself now. That’s a good sign that she’s going to get sorted and in the right place.
But it also means that I am wrong, that Liv doesn’t have Bronwyn and my focus has been in the wrong place the whole time. I have pushed for Liv to be looked at so hard, taking the cops focus off who really did it. Thank goodness they followed my advice, but not for too long, because someone else has her.
Oh God, someone else has her. That’s an even scarier thought. I stumble away from Liv’s front door without even saying goodbye because I can’t stop thinking about what sort of person would drug the baby’s mother and steal a child. Someone sick, that’s for sure. It was bad enough when I thought that Liv had her, but she’s the devil I know. Now, the possibilities are terrifyingly endless, and I don’t like what this might mean.
All sorts of horrifying images fill my head, ones that I would never want to think of, and I immediately need someone on my side to help me. I can’t go back to the police station empty handed, that will destroy Kelly and I don’t want to do that, so I need someone who will come to me. Someone with a clear head who can tell me what to do next. Because it seems like I can’t trust my own judgement anymore.
I slide into the car and grab my cell phone. My hand is shaking violently, but now the trembling has come from fear. A sheer terror that I don’t know what is going to happen to anyone next.
“Leo,” I whisper to myself as I see his name on my phone. “Leo, I need Leo.”
I call him, each ring sending vibrations all the way through my body. It seems to take forever for Leo to pick up, and eventually after what feels like a lifetime, he does. “Noah, what the hell is happening?”
“I’m losing my mind,” I reply without much thinking about my words. “I’m going crazy.”
“Is this because of Kelly and her baby girl?” he demands right away. “Because no one knows what’s happening. We have all heard things through the grape vine, but nothing serious.”
“You’ve heard?” I don’t know why this surprises me; gossip happens. No one ever seems to know where it comes from, it’s just one of those things. “Well, yes, Bronwyn has gone missing and I just flew over to Liv’s to accuse her of stealing her and I freaked her out. I was an asshole and now… well now I feel awful.”
“You accused Liv? As in the bunny boiler stalker?” As he asks this, I suddenly realize that I have kept him in the dark about most things for far too long which has him ten steps behind right now. “Okay, and I’m going to assume that my theory is right, and your mystery woman is Kelly, right? She’s your girlfriend.”
Ah, okay, so it seems like he isn’t as far behind me as I first thought. “Yes, basically. I mean, it’s a little more complicated than that, but yes, she is the one that I told you about before.” I gulp. “Sorry for, you know, keeping it inside. I just…” I don’t know how to finish that sentence, so I don’t. I let it hang in the air instead.
“Right, well don’t worry about giving me all the details now, we can have that conversation at any time, for now we need to focus on this child, don’t we? We need to make sure that she is found.”
“I know, and I fucked up, Leo. I focused on the wrong person and now I don’t know where she is.” I can feel my voice breaking, the emotions starting to get to me. “I let Kelly down.”
“Go to the police station,” he tells me firmly. “I will meet you there and we can come up with a plan.”
“But I can’t go back to the station with nothing,” I whine. “I promised Kelly…”
“Just meet me in the parking lot. I will sort it out, okay? You are too emotionally invested and it’s making you act out. You need a calm head with you, alright? And I might get James to come along as well.”
I breathe and nod before making an agreeable sound. That does sound good, I don’t want to face this alone anymore, it doesn’t seem like I am doing a good job by myself, so my friends will help. I might be letting Kelly down right now, but I won’t let her down in the end. Somehow, I will make this work.
“Okay.” I do feel a little calmer now, I have to admit that Leo has worked his magic on me. “Okay, I will meet you guys at the police station. Don’t be long, I don’t know how much longer I can cope without you.”
We say our goodbyes and hang up the phone before I start a much calmer drive back to where I just came from. My head is all over the place, but a lot of my mind is thinking about Liv. Mostly because I suppose that part of the mystery has been solved. She is going to change her life, to make things much better for her, and I hope that she does. I won’t pursue anything with the police if she does that because she doesn’t need her life ruined more by what has happened. Her broken heart has affected her in a negative way in the same way that it can everyone. She just needs to own her shit now and change her life.
I think that might be something that I should do as well. Change my life, act much better, become the absolute best version of myself. We can all make some changes from this, can’t we? We can all improve ourselves and our lives. Good can come from bad, positive can come from negative. We just have to let it.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Kelly
“So, Chris Miles is Bronwyn’s father?” the officer confirms with a grave tone of voice. “His name is on her birth certificate and everything?” I nod, so freaking scared of him being here now and knowing where I am. “Okay, under normal circumstances, it would be hard to push him for a kidnapping charge because unless there is a legal reason why he can’t see the child, he is her father and has parental rights as well.”
That’s the moment I burst into tears. All over again. “I left because of the violence. There was a charge with the violence, but I couldn’t wait around to see it through because I had to get out of there.”
He does seem to understand, but understanding, and being able to help me are two very different things. I don’t know what he’s going to be able to do for me. “Okay, so you and your daughter were in danger?”
“Oh, very much so. It was a constant thing. That’s why I hid. That’s why I planned my life out and started again. That isn’t like me, this isn’t something I would normally do, but I had to. I didn’t have any choice.”
“I can see that, and believe me, we came across a very hostile person when we pulled him over. He was aggressive and told us that you stole his child and that he took her back to punish you. Not because he wants her back, but because he wants to take you down for what you did.”
“That sounds like Chris,” I reply sadly. “I don’t think that he has ever loved Bronwyn.”
The officer doesn’t any anything to that. He simply continues talking instead. “Well, our immediate concern was obviously for your daughter. But he hasn’t caused her any harm, so that was good. Safe to say that the same can’t be said for my team. His aggressive nature took a violent turn when we tried to arrest him.”
“It did?” This is the first time that I have heard about this and it shocks me. “What happened?”
“He punched one of the officers in the face and slashed another one. He had a blade on him.” He cocks an eyebrow at me. “Luckily, the damage isn’t bad. For the police officers. But for him, well… he has really put himself in a bad hole because he’s going to jail for a long time.”
The tight knot in my chest loosens a little. If he’s locked up, there won’t be any issue when it comes to parental rights. He won’t have any in prison. And I can use that time to make sure that he also has none when he comes out as well. It will be much less of an urgent thing if he’s behind bars.
“Do we know how he got into my apartment yet?” I ask, wanting to know everything as quickly as I can. “Because obviously, I’m a bit freaked out that he drugged me so he could take Bronwyn.”
Because of that, it was so damn hard to leave Bronwyn out there even with Shannon, which is why I don’t want to have to do that again. I want all the answers that I can get right now. If I can anyway. If this is something that I need to go to trial for, then that’s what I will do. Mostly, this is solved now.
“After calling you every name under the sun, which was recorded for evidence, don’t you worry about that. This will help with any future restraining orders. He talked about taking out one of your windowpanes and climbing in. Although that was just for the first time, the second time he had one of your spare keys. I guess he found it in the house, and he knew once you were back, he could use it to take Bronwyn.”
“You have that off him now, don’t you?” Immediately, I feel violated. “My key, I mean.”
“He has nothing now; you don’t need to worry about that. He can’t get to you. You are safe.”
“But he’s been stalking me for a while?” God, I have been so worried about one stalker, one who wasn’t as dangerous as I allowed myself to believe, that I missed out on my ex finding me. “Do we know how he found me? I mean, I left the state. I could have been anywhere in the US. How did he find me here?”
“He hasn’t said much, but my guess would be social media. Even if you haven’t posted anything, someone else might have and if he has been tracking you, then he will find it. You won’t believe how many people are found using the Internet these days. It’s a blessing and a curse. It’s a tricky one for us.”
Wow… I suppose that is possible, isn’t it? For someone to have posted something. It isn’t like I told everyone not to say anything about me online, because I didn’t want to let my new friends know how screwed up my past is. Looking at it now, it was a silly choice to try and save face because look where it’s left me. In the police station, talking about Chris and his stalking, fearful for my daughter’s life. Nothing is worth that.
I shudder, wondering how long Chris has been watching me, what he knows. He must know that I wasn’t at home for a while which is why he felt brave enough to break in and set the trap for me, so he may also know where I have been. With Noah. God, this is awful, so many things could have gone wrong. It was bad enough as it was, but we are all okay which is the main thing. We’re safe. It’s over.
“Okay, so I need to be more careful,” I reply with a nod. “At least when the time comes.”
But who knows when that is going to be now? I have eons of time to get myself started. Time in which I will get myself and my life back on track. I can’t wait for it. It’s time for me to leave this room and get on with that. So, I slide my chair back, indicating that I’m ready to go, and the officer does the same. He isn’t holding me here any longer, which is awesome because this whole thing has left me exhausted.
When I walk out the room, I find out that Shannon isn’t alone. She has three guys surrounding her and Bronwyn, two of which I know well, and one who I can guess the identity of by what Noah has told me. He’s with Leo and who I presume used to be his assistant during his post grad course. James.
A smile creeps up on my face. Despite everything that’s happened, I’m glad to have them here supporting me. If I’m not careful, I will end up bursting in to tears again. I pause and watch them talking for a couple of moments, my heart swelling with joy. I have been thinking about moving away, starting again, and escaping the fear that Chris somehow managed to find me but watching them makes my heart sing. It reminds me of everything that’s good here, of the life that I have built, the life that I don’t want to give up on just yet…
“Kelly!” I spin around as Julia calls out my name, surprising the hell out of me. “Oh my God, are you okay?”
She grabs me up in a hug and lets me know that she’s in my life as well. In all the drama that has happened, I almost forgot about her friendship, so this is amazing to have her around. I lean in to her gratefully.
“I’m okay,” I reply. “I’m much better now that I have Bronwyn back. That was awful.”
“I didn’t know about it, or I would have been here for you.” She pulls back to look at me. “You should have called me. I’m a little offended that you left me out. Don’t do that to me again.” She cocks her eyebrow at me. “Sorry, I’m joking. Obviously, I don’t mean that, I know what you were going through, but I want you to know that I’m there for you, no matter what’s happening. Always.”
I smile and nod. “I know and thank you. It’s just been such a shit time that I don’t know whether I am coming or going at the moment. It’s all hit me at once, you know?”
Julia’s eyes edge over towards Noah, and I know what’s coming before the words even spill out of her mouth. “So, you and Noah, you are a thing, right? I’m just piecing things together here…”
“We were… sort of.” There is no point in trying to hide it now! Plus, after nearly losing Bronwyn I have learned that honesty is always the best policy. “But now… well, I don’t know. It might have been too dramatic. What with his one night stand threatening us, and my ex doing this… plus, some woman called Grace who he used to be with is back in town and I can’t help but wonder if him and her are going to get back together.”
“No way.” She shakes her head hard. “No, that won’t happen. He wants to be with you, I can tell.”
I give her a strange look. “I thought that you were the one who warned me against him.”
“I know, I know. But that’s because he has always been a playboy. Until you came along. You are the woman to change him. There’s always one who does that, and it’s you.” I can’t help but follow her eye line and I see Noah looking at me like I’m the most beautiful woman in the world. That’s the look he gives me, the one that makes me feel so confident. “See? Look at him now. He wants you to run over there.”
“I shouldn’t though, should I?” I mutter quietly to her. “I need to be sensible.”
“Why the hell would you be sensible? This is love, isn’t it? Love isn’t sensible.”
Everything inside of me suddenly makes sense. Of course I want to run to him, I want to jump in to his arms and hold him tight to my chest and beg him to never let me go. The other side of me wants to be careful, and take things slowly, still consider moving away even if I know that I don’t really want to.
“Go on, will you?” Julia pushes me towards him. “You two are cute.”
Oh my God, it seems like everyone wants this to happen, most of all me, so I can’t keep fighting it. I find my legs going towards him, my arms out stretching, waiting to embrace him. A giant smile spreads over my face and finally, for the first time in a very long time, I feel happy.
I fall against Noah’s body and inhale his delicious, manly scent, enjoying every second of being close to him. I press my head against his chest and listen to the glorious sound of his heart beating against my ear.
“Thank you,” I whisper, probably too quietly for him to hear it. “Thank you so much. You don’t know how much I appreciate you. Just for being here, for taking care of us, for everything.”
He cups his hands on my cheeks and pulls my face back to look at him in the eyes. There I see everything that I have been looking for and so much more. The romance, the feelings, the safety…
“I haven’t finished looking after you yet,” he assures me. “Don’t you worry, I am still here.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Noah
“Are you sure that this is okay?” Kelly asks for what feels like the hundredth time as we drive back to my place. “Because I’m sure that I will be fine at home by myself. Chris is locked up now…”
“Unless you really don’t want to come and stay at my house, then I want you there.” I twist my head to the side and smile at her. “We had a great time at the hotel, didn’t we? I want more of that.”
God, I do. I really do. I don’t know what is going to happen with me and Kelly now, I still haven’t quite worked up the courage to tell her that I’m in love with her, and I don’t think that this is the right time, it’s been such an emotional roller coaster of a day, but I want her to be safe and looked after. Chris might be locked up, but I’m not convinced that she will feel safe again for a very long while.
“Okay, sure.” She lights up happily. “That sounds really good. We did have a fun time, didn’t we?”
I toss my head back and laugh, and she does the same thing. Both of us remembering how awesome the hotel was. It may not have been that long since we left, but it feels like a lifetime ago. A good liftime though, that was the happiest that I have ever been and if we can continue that on even a tiny bit, I will be happy. Of course, I would love to be able to slip back into the way that things were, but not yet.
“Here we are.” I pull the car up to a stop and slide it into the parking space, before turning around in my seat to look at Bronwyn who is sleeping calmly like an absolute angel. A massive surprise considering what she’s been through today. At least we know for sure that she hasn’t been hurt or I would lose my mind. “I will carry Bronwyn in. Do you want to bring the travel crib? I will set it up at the end of your bed?”
“My bed?” She cocks her head curiously at me. “You have already purchased all of this stuff for Bronwyn even though I told you that you didn’t have to, and now you’re telling me that I have my own room?”
“I’m not quite that generous, I was going to give you my bed and I’ll sleep on the couch.”
