Never without you, p.4
Never Without You, page 4
What am I doing here? I wonder anxiously as I stare at Noah. He hasn’t yet given me anything to go off, so I have no idea what this supposed favor is, but if he doesn’t start spilling the beans soon, I am gonna leave. I have done my bit, I said sorry, I have made things right on my part, so I don’t need to stay if I don’t want to.
So, why the hell am I here? What exactly am I expecting? I guess I am just intrigued.
“So…” I start with the hope that he will take over and finally let me know what he wants. But he doesn’t, and he stares at me in a way that suggests he’s waiting for me to continue. So, I do, just to get passed the awkward silence. “How was your day? Did you have a good day of teaching? Any… I don’t know, troubles?”
“Nah, all is good.” He beams brightly and I can tell by the way that his eyes are dancing gleefully, he knows what he’s doing. He full on knows that he has me on edge. Maybe this is my punishment for my outburst. “My students are great and we’re having a good year. How about you? Are you settling in?”
“I think so.” I nod slowly. “I hope so anyway. I’m trying my hardest. It’s only my locker that’s against me so far.”
He tosses his head back and laughs loudly, a sound that booms and vibrates across the room, so of course I join in. I’m trying not to get too wrapped up in assumptions anymore, into what I think Noah might be meaning with his words. Instead, I’m simply trying to enjoy the time with him. I guess I will be able to figure him out at some point, if we end up spending some time together. I don’t know if this is going to be a one off thing or not…
Oh God, a horror thought strikes me. He doesn’t think that this is a date… does he?
I cringe as I consider that. He hasn’t done anything to suggest that he thinks it’s a date or anything, and he knows I have only come because he asked me for a favor. He can’t assume it’s something more, can he? I suppose I don’t know him well enough to know if he’s likely to trick someone, but I can’t imagine it. Noah is tall, dark, and incredibly handsome with lovely gray eyes and a lopsided smile that would make anyone’s heart melt. I can’t imagine that he has any trouble getting anyone to date him.
But not me. I’m not here to date, I just want to be alone. I need to be after everything that I have been through. If it comes to it, I will just have to find a way to express that to him. I’m not going to explain what happened exactly, I don’t want to drag all of that out here, but I do want to make him understand.
“So, what’s going on?” Noah looks amused, like I have lost the game he’s playing and cracked first. This irritates me, but only a little, and only for a split second. “What is the favor that you need of me?”
“It’s a weird one,” he admits, instantly putting me on edge. “So, just hear me out.”
“Right,” I drawl cautiously. “This already seems like something I’m not going to like.” I clutch my coffee closer to me, almost as a protection. “Get it over and done with, pull the band aid off before I run away…”
“Okay, okay, I don’t want you to run. I need you to hear me out.” He rests his hand on my arm which I assume he thinks is reassuring but is surprisingly shocking. I almost leap out of my seat. “Because of my behavior with… well, women…” Oh, what the hell? “I have found myself in a situation.”
“What sort of situation?” I practically whisper back. It’s almost like my breath is caught in my throat.
“I have developed a bit of a stalker. A woman who I had a one night stand with, who now assumes that me and her should be together. Turning up on nights out, messaging me all of the time even when I’ve blocked her number, twice, she simply gets a new one, and she’s even scaring off other women.”
“Oh…” This is like something from a movie, not real life. I can’t believe that Noah is in this situation. I don’t know if this is something he’s making up or what. But why would he do that? I also think now, that it might have been the woman that I saw him yelling at. Maybe I misread that situation. “Er, right, I see. So, you have yourself in a bit of a mess, and what exactly does that have to do with me?”
“Well, it seems that the only thing which will make her back off is if I have a girlfriend… or at the very least someone who is pretending to be my girlfriend.” My blood runs ice cold as I realize that this means me. “Just for a little while, to get her to back off and find someone else to bother with her nonsense.”
“So… don’t you have some really close friends who could do that for you?” I decide to play dumb, like I don’t realize he means me. “Another Co worker or something like that? Someone strong to shut her down.”
“Well, the thing is I know what Liv is like, and she won’t just accept that I have a girlfriend. She will ask around and pressure people until they crack and tell them that it is all a devious plan. She doesn’t know you, you are new to town, and I’m sure you have heard that people already suspect me and you are a thing…”
“They do?” I have heard that, but it’s easier for me to play dumb. “Oh God, I don’t know what to say…”
“Say that you will help me out and pretend to be my girlfriend,” he pleads. “You have no idea how much I need you. I need to put an end to this Liv thing before it gets out of hand.”
“Is it as bad as you say?” I demand. “Because I don’t know if I need that kind of drama in my life.”
Actually, that’s a lie because I do know, and I don’t need that sort of nightmare because I have enough going on right now. In a new place, a new job, an escape from Colorado and all that happened there…
“I will make it worth your while, I promise you,” he continues. “It will be drama, but only for a short while. As soon as Liv is out of my life, you can go back to yours. I will take you on nice nights out, help you get to know the area better, even pay you for your time. You must have things that you need for your new home…”
God, I could use the money. Sure, the university is a great salary, but I have a new life to get set up and there are always things you need. The money side of things sounds good, as does getting to know this place a lot better. Sure, I planned to live a quiet life and remain under the radar, but now Noah is offering me something different. He’s dangling a carrot under my nose and I can’t stop myself from wanting to take it.
“It will only be for a month or so,” he continues in a tone of voice that makes me feel a little like he can see me cracking and caving, giving him what he wants. “No longer. Liv can’t possibly keep it up for that long.”
“It will have to be good pay,” I warn him. “Because if I do this, I am going to have to bear her wrath as well. Probably even more than you, because that’s just the way it works, isn’t it? The woman always bears the brunt of it, no matter what the truth is. I don’t know if that is something I want, to be honest.”
“Five hundred dollars each time we go out,” he shocks me by replying. “I will also pay for everything on our ‘dates’ as well. Come on, you can’t deny that sounds like a good offer, right?”
“Too good.” I narrow my eyes suspiciously at him. “You must really want this Liv off your back.”
“I have tried everything,” he whines. “I was honest with her before we slept together, I was truthful with her afterwards, I have even been blunt and a little cruel with my feelings, and she isn’t even phased. She keeps just suggesting that we are ‘meant to be’. A fiery woman like you will shoot her down with ease.”
“Fiery?” Is that how he sees me? I kinda like that after being the quiet recluse for too long.
“Oh yes, I have been on the receiving end of it, I know how fiery you can be.” He smirks at me. “And that’s what I need. Someone who won’t be taken down by this woman. Someone who can stand up to her.”
I shift in my seat, rising my shoulders as his words set something free within me, something that has been locked away inside for years. I have been seen as closed off and fearful for as long as I can remember, so to have him looking at me like I am strong and powerful is exhilarating. That’s how I want to be seen, how I want to feel, who I could become. Perhaps spending time with him is a good way to make that happen, or at least set me on the right path.
“Okay.” I find myself nodding. I don’t quite know if this is the right move or not, but I’m not exactly signing a contract or anything. If it doesn’t feel right or it interferes with things, I can back out. “But how will it work? You say that people at work are already suspicious of us, so does that mean we need to act like a couple there? Or are we just going to hang out when we aren’t at work, and not quite squash the rumors.”
“That one,” he agrees with me. “That second one sounds perfect. Outside of work only.”
“Right.” I slide my eyes closed and again wonder why I’m doing this, what the hell I am playing at. This is the exact opposite to what I wanted to do when I came here, but then again, I suppose my life plans haven’t exactly worked out for me in the past, so maybe it’s time to try something new. “Okay, let’s do that then.”
By the time my eyes pop open, he has his hand out for me to shake it. I take it willingly, not expecting the bolt of electricity that shoots up my arm as I do. It almost takes me back, but I manage to keep that sensation inside. This is already complicated enough without me bringing up any weird feelings.
“I better take your phone number,” he says with a smile. “So, we can start arranging things.”
My heart pounds as I give him my digits, but I try to ignore it. I don’t want to think about what every beat means. I can’t analyze why Noah leaves me breathless, it’s too much.
Chapter Seven
Noah
“So, how do we act?” Kelly asks me awkwardly as she sits on the bar stool next to mine. “I feel like we are putting on a show, but I don’t know who for. I mean, she isn’t even here, is she?”
“No, not at the moment. But she will be, believe me. And when she arrives, it will get interesting.”
I run my eyes all over Kelly, really admiring her beauty for what feels like the very first time. At work, she looks utterly adorable, seriously cute, a sweet kind of beauty, but tonight she’s looking hot as all hell. She has her long sexy legs out and black stiletto high heels. The hem of her little red dress grazes her thighs and follows her curves, showing off her gorgeous shape. There is a hint of cleavage as well. Not enough for her to look like she’s trying to hard, but definitely enough to have me intrigued. Her raven hair is tied up as well, showing off her neck. Kelly has a little bit of make up on as well, highlighting her best features.
She’s sexy and stunning, someone that I would like to be on a real date with, which surprises me.
“We don’t need to act,” I say with a one shouldered shrug. “We can just talk. We can be friends, can’t we? Just get to know one another. We need to look like we’re natural together, don’t we?”
“Oh yeah.” She furrows her eyebrows at me. “We’re supposed to be together, aren’t we?”
“You’re looking at me like I’m not someone you would ever be with,” I declare a little offended.
“Oh no, I don’t mean to.” She giggles girlishly. “I think that I might just need another drink before I can be natural around you. There is something about you that makes me a bit nervous.”
Ooh, that makes me happy. It probably shouldn’t, but it does. The idea of sending a nervous shiver up and down Kelly’s spine, especially when she looks like that, is nearly too much. But I have to remind myself that I’m not here for that. This isn’t a real date, and I need to do what I can to make her feel more comfortable. I can tell that if I turn on the charm, it will put her on edge. I have to reel it in for the time being.
“I’m sorry about that,” I reply instead. “I will get us both another drink. And you can tell me about where you lived before. I’d love to know about your life before you came to Stansford.”
Immediately, I can tell that this is the wrong thing for me to say because she clams up. Her body language becomes closed off and she puts up high walls around her. Whatever drove her to California, it can’t be good. She must have had some bad experiences that she doesn’t want to discuss.
“Actually no, why math?” I say instead. “I know that I fucked up by assuming you are the history teacher, but what I actually want to know is why numbers. I can’t ever wrap my head around them.”
“A lot of people say that,” she declares, relaxing again, just a little. “But I think that numbers are easier because they have logic. They won’t change. Two plus two will always be four, there is nothing that will get in the way of that. Math is also the universal language, isn’t it? Because again, it doesn’t change. Plus, numbers are there all the time. Everyday life is filled with them, even when you can’t see it, they are always there.”
“Yeah, I suppose that’s true, isn’t it? The answer is always objective, whereas English brings with it a lot of subjectivity and opinion. Math only has right and wrong answers. That’s pretty cool.”
“Right, so words are a lot more complicated in that way. Different in every language, open to interpretation, causing opinions and clashing.” She smiles openly at me and even turns her body around to me. Talking about numbers seems to be her passion, or at the very least a place where she feels comfortable. “I have much less arguing in my classes than I bet you do in yours. It does happen, but not as much, I’m sure of it.”
“I would love to be in one of your classes and hear the rows,” I chuckle. “I bet it’s utterly mad.”
“Same! Maybe we should swap classes for a day and see how that goes.” She nudges me in the side and winks.
“Oh my God,” I laugh all over again. “I don’t think I could cope with it. I bet they are a lot.”
“No, that’s true,” she agrees. “My students would eat you alive. I don’t think you could deal with it.”
We talk a little more, focusing on school and the classes at first, but soon traveling into other areas. Not anything too deep, but it makes me realize how cool she is. We share a lot of similarities as well, which I never would have assumed. She likes the same quirky songs as me, has seen a lot of similar dystopian movies, has even heard of some of the same artists that I like… I haven’t ever found anyone like that before. It makes me even more intrigued about her than I was before. I can’t wait to find out more about her.
We even tease one another a bit which is nice. Not a lot of women like to be teased, they see it as an insult rather than a little flirty banter, but Kelly seems to get it. Maybe that’s because this isn’t a date, but she rolls with it and we have fun. I almost forget that we are here for a reason. That this is all a show…
“This her then?” The bitchy voice whispers in my ear, making me jump. I’m brought back to the earth with a painful thump and I don’t like it one bit. “The supposed girlfriend? The one that you can commit to apparently.” She snorts as if this is ridiculous. “As if I’m going to believe you, this is just another date of yours.”
I spin around on the bar stool and stare Liv down. I need her to hear me now more than ever. “Yes, Liv, my girlfriend. This is Kelly. Like I told you, so can you please leave us alone?”
Liv darts her eyes between me and Kelly as if she’s trying to figure things out, but she can’t quite slot the jigsaw pieces together. I refuse to back down and continue to look at her with anger.
“Kelly, is your name?” Liv waves her hand dismissively as if it doesn’t matter. “I want to warn you that this guy is bad news. He will drop you at the first opportunity, as soon as he assumes that something better is coming along. He had me and he dropped me, so the same will happen for you.”
“Don’t say that as if you are better than Kelly,” I snap back, angry that Liv actually put Kelly down. She hasn’t come here to be insulted. “Please leave her alone, Kelly is nothing to do with you.”
“She is. She stole my man! Of course she has something to do with me, are you kidding?”
“I was never your man.” I throw my head in my hands and try to block Liv out for the moment. I honestly don’t know what to do if this doesn’t work. I don’t think that I can go to the cops about this. They will throw it out for sure, probably laughing at me as they kick me to the curb. I should be able to handle my own shit.
“So, you’re trying to tell me that you weren’t in my bed, Noah? Because you were.”
“For one night!” Now I’m back to glaring, but Liv isn’t even looking at me now. She’s staring at Kelly, probably wondering what she can say to scare her off me. I’m wondering the same thing. Five hundred dollars sounded like a good deal at the time, but staring into Liv’s manic eyes, it probably feels like nothing. “One night that was ages ago. Please, Liv, just stop this before it gets out of control.”
“Oh, fuck you,” she sneers. “You are a piece of shit, Noah. I don’t buy it with you and Kelly. She’s just another fling, someone else that will be in your life for no longer than a few moments. You might have her fooled, but not me. I know you, Noah, and I know exactly what you are like. This isn’t real. Nothing ever is for you.”
“You don’t know me. There isn’t any …”
All of a sudden, I feel the warmth of a reassuring hand on my shoulder and I twist my neck in surprise to see Kelly glancing down at me with a confident smile on her face. God, she’s striking. Stunning, and I think that her fiery side might be about to come out. She’s going to take Liv down which will be awesome.
But much to my surprise, Kelly doesn’t say anything. Instead, she tucks her finger underneath my chin and brings my lips to hers. But that isn’t it. She isn’t just going in for a peck to show Liv that we are real, this is so much more. There is actual passion there, even her tongue is darting between my lips. I’m stunned.
Stunned and a little turned on. I’m really feeling something with Kelly, there are tingles all over, a warmth storm cloud swirling around in the pit of my stomach. Desire tingles in my veins, this is weird. I don’t know if a kiss has ever been so intense, and I don’t know where my head is even at. It doesn’t feel like this is for show anymore. I’m not sure that Kelly even remembers Liv is there…
