Chasing us, p.7
Chasing Us, page 7
“Are you just going to stand there all night?” he asked with a big grin.
“Do you know how disgusting that bedspread is?” I asked, ignoring his question.
Laughing, Brandon threw his head back and patted the space beside him. “Would it make you feel better if I took it off?” he asked, a seductive grin spreading across his face.
Damn, somehow Brandon could make even the simplest conversation sound so naughty.
Whipping my head around, I almost choked on my own words. “What?” I stumbled out.
Continuing to laugh at how strange I was acting, Brandon ran his hands through his hair again. Even with messy hair, he looked absolutely delicious and out of place in the raunchy motel room. “Leigh, you always crack me up,” he said as he moved to his knees and began peeling the bedspread away from the white sheets below. Tossing the comforter onto the floor, he patted the space beside him one more time.
“Come on, I won't bite,” Brandon offered as he placed his hands up in the air, surrendering to me.
“I know,” I said as I realized I was acting very immature. I could sleep next to Brandon. Right?
Shaking my head, I smiled and sauntered over to the bed where Brandon was now laying down again. Feeling the bed sink below me, I nuzzled up next to Brandon as he turned on a rerun of FRIENDS. We became lost in the hilarious sitcom as we allowed the day and heavy conversations to fall away.
“I really appreciate you pushing me to take this trip, and for deciding to come with me,” I said, as I lay down next to him.
“When you said you wanted to take this trip, all I could think about was joining you. It’s all I have thought about,” Brandon said, his eyes focused straight ahead.
Raising my eyebrows, I was surprised at how much he wanted to be on this trip too. “Wow. I am glad you thought about me enough to want to come,” I said, hopeful he understood how much I appreciated his company.
“No problem,” Brandon said as he quickly glanced at me. “You have been through a lot, you know with Jamie and moving in with Kylie and everything,” he finished.
Nodding my head, I agreed. “Well, thanks for thinking of me. You have been great.”
“It happens a lot,” Brandon muttered as he glanced around the room.
“What happens a lot?” I asked, confused by his statement.
Sighing, Brandon rubbed his jaw. He looked conflicted and I wasn’t sure what I had to said to upset him.
Scooting away from me, Brandon sat up straight on the bed and leaned against the wooden headboard. “We are friends right?” Brandon asked as he studied his folded hands in his lap.
“Sure,” I replied, trying to pretend as though I didn’t see the worry on his face.
“So, that means I can be honest with you. Right?”
His voice shook as he spoke, but his eyes never met mine. I was beginning to worry. I remembered all of the times that Jamie had told me something hurtful. Each time, the image of his face looking down flashed across my mind. I knew Brandon and I acted out of pure adrenaline and instinct when we decided to just drive to Nashville. I hoped he wasn’t about to tell me we had a made a huge mistake.
“Yes,” I whispered as I heard the quaking of my own voice.
Releasing a loud sigh, Brandon rubbed his hands on his thighs before standing up and pacing the small space. He turned to face me and I could see the pained expression on his beautiful face. “There is something I have wanted to tell you. For a very, very long time, but I wasn’t sure how to do it.” He paused and I sucked in a deep breath as I prepared myself for the blow I knew was surely coming. Brandon was going to ask me to leave. He was going to tell me that he needed to follow his dream on his own, that I was just a burden to him as a single guy in a big city with millions of beautiful and willing girls.
Continuing, Brandon stopped and knelt down in front of me. The sudden movement took me by surprise. “I have always thought you were beautiful. From the first time I saw you, I have fantasized about you. When you decided to date Jamie, I didn’t know what to do. You could have done better, much better than Jamie. Only, I knew it wasn’t my place to say anything to you. Jamie is, I mean, was my best friend. I felt like I owed him a friendship. Loyalty is important to me, but it was difficult not to say anything to you about my feelings. I mean, we tried to date once, but I knew you didn’t feel the same way about me.” Brandon’s gaze shifted to mine, and the worried look was gone. Now, a deep spark of desire was burning through me and causing my body to heat up from his stare.
I scooted to the edge of the bed, my body paralyzed from the shock of his confession. Every invisible line I had created that was separating our friendship from anything and everything else, was blurring now into a large, unrecognizable mess. It was true, years ago, Brandon and I had gone on a date after we first met. I thought he didn't like me, so I didn't pursue anything. Then, when he introduced me to Jamie, I was sure he didn't have feelings for me and that I had only imagined the spark between us. Now, as he faced me, saying these powerful words, everything I had ever known and thought spun through my mind like a whirlwind.
I opened my mouth to speak, but only silence spilled out. There were no words to express the confusion and hurt I felt in that moment.
“I know you must hate me right now for telling you all of this, especially since we just drove four hours to Nashville, but I have to tell you now or I am afraid I won’t ever have the chance again.”
We both remained in silence for what seemed like forever. My mind was trying to register everything Brandon had said and more importantly, I was trying to decipher how I felt about his honesty.
“I don’t hate you,” I began. “I am just not sure I believe you. I know I am not very pretty and there isn’t anything special about me,” I said, trying to fight my own emotions.
Shaking his head, Brandon turned away from me. “Don’t say that. You are hot, own that and believe that. You are very special. Just because Jamie was a dumb asshole doesn’t mean you aren’t worth anything.” Brandon said, his voice growing high.
Finding the courage to form words, I sat back and sighed. "Why didn't you tell me all of this, oh I don't know, three years ago?" I heard the acid in my voice, but I didn't care. The more I considered what he had said, the more confused and angry I became. If Brandon had been honest with me from the beginning, if he had only shared his true feelings with me years ago, I never would have met Jamie. I would never have experienced the horrific and utterly devastating feeling of having your heart broken into a million fragments by someone's unfaithfulness. If Brandon had shared his feelings, I wouldn't have had the overwhelming sense of self-doubt that I felt every day after my initial date with Brandon. I had wondered what was so wrong with me that he didn't want me. I had wondered the same thing after catching Jamie cheating on me. I had been through so much turmoil and felt so much anger, and it all could have been avoided with only a few simple words.
“I tried to tell you, several times,” he admitted, knocking me out of my own thoughts. “But, each time you and Jamie had a fight and I thought you two were done, you would get back together. We then became really good friends and I guess I just realized I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.”
His honesty smacked me in the face. I had never known that Brandon had feelings for me. My mind replayed the countless women I had seen him with over the years. That wasn’t the behavior of someone who was in love or cared about another girl. None of that mattered now. He said it himself, we were just friends and he wouldn’t want to ruin that. Easing down on the bed beside me, I offered a smile that let him know we were still okay.
“I appreciate you being so honest with me. I’m glad we are such good friends now and all of that is in the past,” I said, hoping we both believed my words.
Nodding his head, Brandon’s focus turned back to the television and we both became lost in the show.
Around midnight, Brandon and I were both wide-awake and delirious from our long drive. Neither of us could sleep and we were both restless as we flipped through the television channels finding nothing but infomercials.
Suddenly sitting up, Brandon rocked the bed with his quick movements. “Hey, did you bring a bathing suit?” he asked.
Looking at him like he had lost his mind, I slowly shook my head yes. “Why?” I asked.
“Let’s go swimming.” He bounced up on his knees like a kid. “I saw a pool beside the parking lot when we drove in.”
“Brandon, it is midnight. We can’t go swimming now,” I argued as I too sat up.
Brandon’s eyes were wild and I swear he looked like a crazy man. I was sure he had lost his mind.
“Why can’t we?” he asked.
Without anything to argue, I just sat there speechless.
Jumping up, Brandon grabbed his luggage and began rummaging through it until he found a pair of royal blue swimming trunks. Running to the small bathroom, Brandon yelled for me to change too.
Deciding not to argue and realizing I had nothing else to do, I followed suit and changed into my red bikini I had brought.
Stepping out of the bathroom, I gawked at Brandon’s tone stomach. Forcing my eyes away, I reached for a towel hanging on the bathroom door as I struggled to keep my composure.
With his eyes glued to me, Brandon stared at me with his mouth open. I wasn’t sure if he liked what he saw or not, but I suddenly became very self-conscious. I knew I didn’t have the best body and now I was wishing I hadn’t brought such a revealing bathing suit.
“Uh, come on,” Brandon said as he began to walk out of the hotel room door.
Walking down the corridor we exited the hotel and out to the pool deck area. As I suspected, we were the only people crazy enough to swim in the middle of the night.
Smiling at me, Brandon rushed toward the pool and jumped in with his knees tucked to his chest. “Cannonball,” he screamed as his body smacked the surface of the water and a loud splash ensued.
Looking around, I was sure his act would have woken someone else, but to my dismay, no one stirred around us. The black night sky was illuminated by twinkling stars above, and small lights reflecting from the tiny motel. The pool area was lit by a small yellow light that only seemed to light up half of the concrete area.
Resurfacing, Brandon smoothed his wet hair away from his face. “Come on you big baby,” he called out to me. I was standing by the edge of the pool and I decided not to join him.
“You are having fun, I will just watch,” I said as I started to turn to walk toward some lounge chairs seated around the pool.
Without warning, Brandon swam over to the edge and splashed me. Water hitting my legs, I swiftly turned around and glared at him. “You are dead,” I yelled as I threw my towel down and jumped in the pool too.
I swam to where Brandon was no hiding in the center of the pool and laughing. Reaching him, I put my hands on his head and ducked him under the water.
Swimming away from me, Brandon moved out of my reach and splashed me again. “Hey no fair,” he teased.
We continued our game of splashing one another as we swam around the pool, racing one another and laughing hard like we were young kids again without a care in the world.
Around 2 a.m. we slowly walked back to our room on tired legs and collapsed on the hotel bed after changing back into our clothes. Exhausted and out of breath from our pool games, we both succumbed to a deep and restful sleep.
***
His tongue licked down my stomach as his hands roamed every inch of my body. My breathing hitched as I ached for more of his touch. A slight moan escaped my lips as I felt his hands traveling between my legs. My wetness made him smile as he began to trace my breasts with his tongue, teasing me with his slow movements. I began to beg for him to just go ahead and take me, the want and need becoming more than I could handle. Brandon’s hands began to rub the outside of my most sensitive area and as I felt him separate my legs, I screamed his name aloud.
Suddenly waking, I almost screamed as my eyes opened and I didn’t recognize my surroundings. Sweat dampened my nightshirt as I realized I had just been dreaming. A feeling of embarrassment rushed over me as I silently prayed Brandon hadn't witnessed my little fantasy. Jolting upright in the bed, I spotted Brandon lying next to me on his side and realized I had dozed off after we returned from the pool. I must have started my dream sometime early in the morning. Not wanting to wake him, I tried to easily slide off the bed. I needed to use the restroom and hoped I wouldn’t be too afraid of what I found behind the bathroom door.
“Are you going somewhere?” he asked, his voice groggy from sleep.
Closing my eyes, I shuddered as I realized he had been awake the whole time.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” I said, still praying he couldn’t read my mind.
“Nah, you didn’t. I have been up for a few hours,” he said, motioning toward the phone in his hands.
“Oh,” I said, as I sat back down beside him. I wanted to crawl under the bed and die in that moment.
“Did you have a bad dream?” he asked as he sat up and faced me.
Trying to form a lie, I spit out the first thing I could think of. “Oh yeah, sorry. Sometimes I have nightmares and talk in my sleep. Did I say anything aloud?” I asked, cringing at the thought of Brandon hearing me repeating anything from my little nighttime fantasy.
“No, you didn’t say anything, but you were sweating and tossing and turning a lot,” Brandon said, clearly concerned
Sighing with relief, I offered him a smile. “Oh, I am fine. Promise.”
Nodding, Brandon accepted my answer.
“So, what are you doing? Planning our day?” I asked trying to change the subject.
“Yeah, I’ve been mapping the routes for the two publishing companies you wanted to visit and a few of the bars we found that offer open mic nights.”
Surprised by his genuine motivation, I was happy that he had already made the move to get us started. As much as I wanted to visit each place, fear was still taunting me and teasing me about my insecurities. After our intense conversation last night, my mind was full of emotions. Part of me wanted to jump back into my car and drive home and forget about my dreams. The idea that I may fail and that no one will want to read my writing terrified me to my very core. But, Brandon and Kylie believed in me and I had my parents blessing, so there was no turning back now.
“That’s awesome,” I replied, standing once again as my bladder began to scream at me, reminding me why I had awakened in the first place.
“We only have two weeks to do this, so we need to get serious,” Brandon said, showing me the map on his phone.
“Let me take a shower and get ready then we can leave,” I said, as I grabbed my bag and headed toward the bathroom.
As I turned to close the bathroom door, I quickly caught a glimpse of Brandon watching me walk away, and I swear I felt butterflies dance inside me. Oh shit, I have to stop this.
After a long shower, I finally emerged from the Bathroom. I had thankfully packed a wrinkle free black pencil skirt and white button down shirt. Pulling my hair into a tight bun, I had applied a light amount of makeup to appear professional, yet young and trendy.
Brandon was already dressed, and as I had discovered, had already showered before I had even awoken. He really had gotten up early. I felt a pang of guilt wash over me as I realized he had allowed me to sleep while he had already started our day.
Dressed in a nice pair of jeans and a charcoal gray tee shirt, Brandon looked sexy as hell. It baffled me how someone who put so little effort into dressing could appear like a devilish model.
“Ready?” Brandon asked as he eyed me. I swear it felt as though his eyes were undressing me as we stood there looking at each other.
Shaking my head, I tried to push aside all of the naughty thoughts I was having about Brandon. Man, I really must be desperate and losing my mind if I am thinking about one of my good friends like a sex god.
Growling, my stomach made its appearance and both Brandon and I laughed. Placing my hands on my stomach, I looked up at Brandon. “I think we might need to go have breakfast first,” I suggested.
“Sounds good, I’m starving,” Brandon offered as he opened the hotel room door for me.
Once we checked out of the hotel, we ran through a McDonalds’ drive through as we began our search for our first stop; E. L Publishing. I had found this publisher while doing a Google search of reputable but small publishing houses in Nashville. Known to have published some of my favorite indie authors, I hoped that my manuscript would fit their small client list of contemporary fiction. In a world full of Divergent and Hunger Game fans, I hoped my story of bravery and changing your life’s journey, would appeal to most readers.
After inhaling my breakfast sausage biscuit, Brandon finally pulled the car into a small parking lot. Looking up, I noted the beautifully restored building in the heart of downtown Nashville. With its rusty red brick exterior and cobblestone walkway, this publishing house appeared more like a home from a fairy tale rather than an office complex.
Noticing my uneasiness, Brandon reached over and grabbed my hands. “Don’t work yourself up, you will be fine,” he offered as if he could read my mind.
Nodding, I continued to glance up at the building. His hands around mine were causing a heat to rise that made me shudder. The feeling wasn’t lost on me, nor was the magic of this moment. Reaching into my bag, I pulled out one of my manuscripts along with my folder containing my resume and school records. I placed my hand on the car door and opened.
“Wish me luck,” I said as I stood on wobbly legs. My stomach was doing backflips and I instantly regretted eating so fast that morning.
“You will do great, just be yourself and they will love you,” Brandon smiled as he shooed me away from the car.
