Chasing us, p.9
Chasing Us, page 9
After twenty minutes, Brandon finally appeared with a large smile. Shaking my head, I hoped the insane thoughts and internal arguments would go away. Sauntering up to me, he grabbed my hand and led me to the exit without uttering a single word.
My heart skipped a beat as I followed closely behind him. “What are we doing?” I asked, my voice shaking.
“We are leaving,” he said.
Once we were in the dimly lit parking lot, Brandon pulled me to him and kissed me with such force, I almost lost my balance. Running my hands through his hair, I felt like I couldn’t get enough of his kisses. His hands explored my body as we stood alone with only a flickering light above lighting the space around us. Yep, I was definitely losing my mind- and I kind of liked the feelings it brought.
Parting our lips, Brandon sucked in a deep breath. “I got another gig tomorrow night. The guy said to call him and he will let me know if any record executives will be in the audience. Apparently, weekends are when they scout for new talent.” he spoke with such confidence that it was hard not to admire him.
“That’s amazing,” I stammered. “I am so proud of you,” I finished, leaning my body closer to his. I could feel just how hard he was as my leg brushed against his jeans. My mouth gaped open as I began to imagine what he could do with that hardness.
“Thanks,” he said, a slight redness appearing on his cheeks. “I called and got us a hotel room for tonight at a nicer hotel. I won a thousand dollars!” he exclaimed, producing an envelope from his back pocket.
Shocked, I jumped and clapped my hands. Yes, the money was amazing and it would be nice to stay in a clean hotel, but more importantly, I was proud of his accomplishment. “Brandon, you won. Everyone saw how amazing and talented you are. That is huge!”
Shaking his head, it was clear Brandon did have a little embarrassment in him. Underneath that cocky aurora and persona, was a guy who wasn’t a hundred percent sure of himself and I found that quality sexy and endearing.
“I’m just happy everyone liked my music,” Brandon said, tucking the envelope back into his back pocket.
“Are you kidding?” I asked. “Everyone was blown away by your song,” I declared as I waved my hands, as I pointed back inside the bar where all of the people were still cheering and going crazy.
“Did you like it?” he asked, drawing me closer to him again.
Nodding my head yes, I bit my lower lip as I felt the heat radiating between us. Tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear, I muttered, “Yes.”
“Yours is the only opinion that matters to me,” he said, his voice laced with an edge and full of seriousness. The silly and sexy grin had disappeared and now a man full of admiration stood before me.
“Brandon...” I began, but he cut me off before I could finish.
“Don’t argue with me on this.” He began. His face almost seemed frustrated as he tried to get me to understand what he was trying to say. “I only watched you tonight. I only heard your voice cheering me on. I only saw your face in the crowd. No one else mattered- only you.” His rugged voice caressed my soul.
The lines were blurring again and I desperately wanted to fight the haze that seemed to come over both of us. However, I knew that I wasn’t strong enough to keep up this battle for long.
My heart surged forward as if it was about to jump out of my chest and into Brandon’s arms. No one had ever said that I mattered. It was hard to allow myself to believe his words. I mean, this was all happening so fast that I was having difficulty processing everything, but his eyes bore into my soul telling me he was sincere. Inside Brandon, I saw that what he was saying was true and that he had felt that way much longer than I had known.
Spotting my car in the packed parking lot, I eyed it knowing it would take us out of this place and to a hotel room where we would be alone. Together.
Nodding his head toward the car, Brandon smiled his famous grin. “You ready to get out of here?” he asked, his voice low and smooth like velvet.
“Yes,” I breathed. As I kept my eyes locked on his.
Holding my hand, Brandon led me to the car and opened the door for me like a perfect gentleman. I made note of this chivalrous act because in the years I had dated Jamie, never once had he opened a door for me or looked at me the way Brandon was now.
We drove in silence back to the hotel, which was thankfully, only a few blocks away. I was excited to hear that Brandon had secured us a nice room at a local Holiday Inn. Making a quick stop to the motel where we had stayed the night before, Brandon had literally run into our room, and quickly gathered our things before throwing them into the car and driving us to the new hotel. As we had entered the bar earlier, where we would stay tonight had been a mystery. Now, we had a plan and I felt chills run down my spine as the kiss that had just transpired floated throughout my mind.
In one quick moment, everything between Brandon and I had changed. We had crossed the line of friendship and were teetering on the verge of something else. What that was, I had no clue about, but I secretly anticipated finding out.
When we pulled into the much larger hotel parking lot, Brandon rushed to my side of the car and opened the car door for me. I waited patiently while he retrieved our bags and then led us to the front desk.
We found our hotel room that was located on the fourth floor. Walking hand in hand, we made our way down the narrow hall and we both hesitated as we came face to face with another challenge; a hotel room where we would be alone again.
Chapter 9
Stepping inside the small hotel room, a blast of cold air rushed upon me. The arctic air was inviting from the sweltering summer heat outside, but it almost seemed like an attack. I shivered from both the cool air and the anticipation of what might lay ahead for us tonight. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no prude. Jamie and I had done almost everything sexual besides actually having sex, but something about tonight seemed different in a strange and exciting way.
Outside, the darkness of night slowly made its approach. The twinkling lights of the city streets below us made it seem as though the city were dancing. I caught myself watching the lights reflect off of Brandon’s lightly tanned face. He really was beautiful with his chiseled chin and athletic body. His jeans hung loosely around his hips and his black t-shirt clung to his tight abs.
Still pumped from the crowd’s enthusiasm and reactions to Brandon’s music, we both had smiles plastered on our faces. Walking further into the room, Brandon dropped our bags and his guitar case beside the lone bed in the room. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Brandon motioned for me to join him.
Shaking my head, no, I stood my ground. As I stood there taking in the scene before me, I realized that Brandon and I had crossed the line from friends to possibly something more and now we were alone again in a hotel room. Tonight would be totally, and extremely different from the previous night when we were still just two friends sharing a room. I felt my body shiver with a nervous excitement as I tried to push aside the images that were now appearing of what could happen with the two of us alone in this room.
“What’s wrong?” Brandon asked as he took in my nervous and guarded stance. “Did I do something to upset you?” he asked, his eyes rose cautiously.
The truth was, both Brandon and I had done something wrong. And yes, I was upset, but it wasn’t his fault. How could we have allowed the moment to push us over the edge? How could I have allowed myself to fall into another trap? I had run away from my life, to find something bigger and better for me. This trip was supposed to be about finding ourselves and for me to heal from the blow Jamie had thrown at me. Now, I couldn’t see the big picture anymore, all of the colors and shapes of the world were fuzzy as they blended together into one, hot, and sexy mess.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. We both did,” I said as I watched his face fall in confusion. He clearly did not understand me. I had kissed him back and I know he felt the spark between us, so my frigid behavior was obviously puzzling to him. Stepping closer, I closed some of the distance between us. “I’m not mad at you. I just don’t want us to do anything stupid that could jeopardize our friendship or our goal for this trip.”
Suddenly standing, Brandon stepped so close to me that I could feel his warm breath on my cheek. “Kissing you was not stupid,” he said, his voice breathy. “And, it definitely wasn’t a mistake. Tonight was a big night for me. I was so happy that the crowd liked my song and I wanted to share with you how excited I was,” he finished, his eyes dancing as they struggled to read mine.
If he only knew how much of him, I had felt growing with excitement he might have backed away from me now. But I wasn’t about to ruin the moment by pushing him away. Sometimes I could be a real dumb ass. “I was happy for you, but kissing? We are friends, Brandon. I don’t want to ruin what we have. You have been so amazing helping me through everything lately.”
Laughing, Brandon allowed his head to fall back, which caused his messy brown hair to bounce around his face. His eyes were glowing now with a fantastic humor that almost made me giggle at the sight. “Leigh, how are you the only one who doesn’t see it?” He threw his hands up in the air in frustration and his voice raised several octaves.
“See what?” I asked, clearly confused by his change in behavior.
“How have you not seen that I have had a crush on you for years?” His smile and crazy laughter faded as a solemn and serious expression took over his beautifully chiseled face. His eyes bore into mine and I swear I could feel the heat radiating off of him like a wildfire.
Seriously? This was all getting to be a little too much for me. “Are you serious?” I asked, my voice rising higher. “You have brought every tramp in the city around for years!” A giggle escaped my lips as I thought about how silly all of this sounded.
“What?” he asked, smiling too, as he turned his head to the side.
“It’s just that, a crush sounds so silly. That is something you have in like middle school, but it goes away as you mature.” I tried to hide my growing laughter and amusement.
“Are you throwing shade?” Brandon joked as he tried to sound funny.
“I guess I am,” I teased back.
“You are just mad that you don’t have cool lines like I do,” Brandon replied, continuing our banter.
As a small smile crept across his face, Brandon tried hard not to laugh as I folded my arms and pouted. He had always made fun of me when I pouted, and now as I thought about it, that may have been him possibly, maybe, flirting with me. Holy shit, what else had I not been aware of over the years?
“Whatever,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Anyway, you are just messing with me. If you really did have a crush on me, which I doubt is true, you would have told me before now. We have hung out like every day over the last few years. You knew me before I knew Jamie. You could have told me then,” I said.
Running his hands through his hair, Brandon began to lose his playful expression and replaced it with a scowl.
"Leigh, don't you think I wanted to?" he asked as he stood and began running his hands through his short brown hair. "I fantasized about you, even when you were with Jamie. Isn't that bad?" he slightly laughed, easing some of the tension filling the room. Of course, he would try and make a joke at a time like this.
“Come on, be serious,” I pleaded, wanting this tangled conversation to stop.
"I tried several times, but it was never the right time. Once, when you and Jamie broke up, I decided I was going to swoop in and make my move. But as soon as I gave your break-up enough time and mustered the courage to say anything to you, Jamie had found a way back into your heart. The last thing I ever wanted to do was to hurt you, and if you were happy with Jamie, then that's all I cared about," his voice trailed off as he stopped walking and stood to stare out of the window of our hotel room. "Once I uncovered that Jamie was cheating on you, I was going to make sure you found out. Any girl would be a downgrade from you, I couldn't believe he could be so stupid. You didn’t deserve the way he treated you."
“But you didn’t,” I shouted, even though neither of us was speaking. My voice echoed through the room and I could tell the sound had cut through him like a knife. Sucking in a breath, I tried to shake away the attraction that was building inside of me and remind myself that Brandon had been hiding a very important secret from me for years. “You never once told me how you felt. After our date, you just let me go without a fight. You introduced me to your best friend, what the hell was I supposed to think?” I cried out, fighting back the tears that were starting to form in my eyes.
Still gazing outside the window, Brandon began to speak. “That haunts me every day. I know I shouldn’t have introduced you to Jamie, but you asked me if I had any single friends. I thought you weren’t interested in me. Look, I know I can’t change what happened in the past, but we are here, right now together. That should mean something,” he finished.
“Brandon, you came to Nashville with me as a friend. You came to follow your dream just like I came to follow mine,” I stated, reminding him of our earlier conversations. My mind was in a craze as I tried to piece together the puzzle. I was so confused and my emotions and heart were in disarray.
“No, I came to be with you. I wish you understood. You are my inspiration. You have inspired me to write more music, to delve deep into feelings that I didn’t want to vocalize. If you were leaving, I had to come with you. I knew this was my time to tell you how I felt, and watch you go for your dreams, and protect you. You are crazy if you think I was going to let you come to a big city like this alone. All I have ever wanted to do was to grab you and hold you in my arms and never let you go. I have this urge to tell you everything I am thinking. Being with Jamie, and then handling the break-up as fucked up as it was, made you a stronger person. I have seen you grow so much.” Brandon turned to face me and I saw the desire burning deep in his eyes.
Damn if he wasn’t the sexiest man I had ever seen. Sure, Jamie was attractive. But Brandon had a sexiness and allure about him that couldn’t be put into words. My heart skipped a beat every time I looked at him and even though I had always felt it was wrong, I couldn’t stop myself.
“I always thought you didn’t really like me. That you considered me only a friend and never really looked at me as anything more than just Jamie’s girlfriend and a friend. Hell, you have girls calling you every second.” The words almost stung as I said them aloud, but it was true, and I knew I had to be honest with him.
“I was always looking at you then, too, even when I probably wasn’t supposed to be looking. Those girls never mattered to me. I have always thought you were cute and sexy as well. Way out of Jamie’s league, for sure, and mine.” He looked away for a moment and I watched his jaw flinch and tighten with an urge and sadness I didn’t understand.
“I just don’t understand why you decided to tell me this now? I made a decision, I was leaving Shady Oaks and I am going to become a published writer whether it is here in Nashville or someplace else. You telling me this changes everything.” I cried, this time the tears managed to escape from my eyes. I hated that I was getting emotional, but after everything I had been through over the last few months, I had to let out my anger. “This changes everything,” I cried again, my voice barely above a whisper.
“It doesn’t have to change anything,” Brandon yelled as he rushed in front of me. Pulling my hands into his, Brandon forced me to look at him. “Leigh, this is our chance to finally be together. You have no idea how long I have wanted you to be mine.”
“This is just a crush,” I argued, even though I wasn’t sure I believed my own claims. “You are confused. Maybe you had a crush when we first met, but you have dated other girls since then. Hell, I have seen you in love with some of the girls before.” I stated, trying hard to believe my words. There was no way what Brandon was saying was true. I wasn’t anything beautiful or special. Not like the hundreds of girls he had slept with and paraded around me over the years.
“The crush never ended. No, that’s not true. The crush ended and my feelings for you grew over time into something more powerful than a fucking crush. What I feel for you is far beyond a crush. I think about you every day. I crave to hear your voice.” His words sank deep into my heart as he spoke and I felt myself growing heated as I listened. The desire was growing deep down in my belly and I could feel myself growing wet just thinking about how much he had wanted me throughout the years. “I fantasize about ripping your panties off and taking you every day. Jamie is a fucking moron and you deserve for someone to make you feel as sexy as you are to me,” he said, his voice deep and sensual. His eyes were watching me like an animal would watch its prey.
This had to be some mean prank that he and Jamie were playing on me. He was messing with my mind I was sure. I had dreamed of hearing him say things like this to me several times, but after watching him bounce from girl to girl, I never imagined he had anything more than friendly feelings for me.
“No, that’s not true,” I cried as I forced my hands out of his. I pushed Brandon away from me and I stood and began walking away from him. I was pacing the room now and I felt like I was either going to scream out in frustration or rip his clothes off. “You have no right to tell me this, not now. I would have done anything to hear those words three years ago, but now, I am trying to move on with my life. This isn’t fair.”
Storming toward me, Brandon placed his hands around my face and pulled me to him. “It is true and you know it. Stop allowing yourself to believe that you are anything but beautiful. You deserve to be with someone who cares for you and who wants you in every way possible.” His hands were shaking now as he was allowing himself to finally be completely honest with me. Placing his hands above my heart, Brandon forced me once again to look at him. “Let me into your heart. I won’t hurt you like Jamie did. If that is what you are worried about then stop thinking like that. If you were mine, I would take your sexy little body and make love to you every night. I would fuck you and show you what a fucking goddess you are to me. You would be everything I needed and more. No other girl would even come close to what you mean to me.”
