Lost in loves abyss, p.18
Lost In Love's Abyss, page 18
“Okay.”
“Things were cool then they weren’t.”
“Why the change?”
“She’s a psychiatrist too.”
“And that was an issue for you?” She kept her eyes on me, searching for answers I wasn’t offering verbally. That damn eye contact!
“Not at first but one day I showed up at her office and found out my uncle was one of her patients. The shit fucked me up.”
I saw the “aha” moment flicker in her eyes.
“Was she aware of your past prior to you finding out he was her patient?”
“Not all of it, but she knew I had issues.”
“So you’re upset that she’s seeing him as a patient?”
“I was but that’s not really her fault. I can’t put that on her. She didn’t know who he was. It’s just that if she’s seeing him then she has to know. How the hell can she look at me as a man after knowing my past? I could see it in her eyes when she looked at me. It fucked me up.”
“Have you talked to her about it?”
“No.”
“May I make a suggestion?”
“Your world, Doc,” I tossed out in agitation, which placed a smile on her face. She cared very little about my resistance. Her job was to push and that was exactly what she did with no apologies.
“Give her a chance to express what she’s thinking versus assuming.”
“I would if I thought she would see me. It’s been two months. I kinda fucked that up too.”
“All you can do is try. If she refuses, then at least you did your part. Sounds to me like you’re punishing this woman for opinions she may or may not have formulated. Instead of speculating, allow her the chance to share with you how she truly feels.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“I understand, but the fact that she landed you on my couch paints a pretty vivid picture.”
My eyes leveled with Dr. A’s and her smug grin was waiting. She saw right through my bullshit.
“This is not about her,” I was quick to clarify. It was a lie but what I went with.
She arched a brow, lips pursed, eyes leveled with mine.
“Alright. damn. She’s part of it but not the only reason I’m here.”
“Agreed, but she’s an important factor in why you made the call to schedule this appointment, Rahshon. Give her a chance to express herself without your assumptions. I’m open to seeing the two of you also if—”
“I’m good, Doc. I can handle this one on my own.”
Her smile spread wide.
“Good, then I’d like for you to schedule a follow-up visit.”
It was her subtle way of forcing my hand.
I groaned, knowing this wasn’t going to be a one hitter quitter. But if I was being honest with myself, Dr. A settled things in me that I struggled with independently. She was right, having a neutral sounding board did help.
“Alright, I can do that.”
When I left her office I made up my mind to reach out to Embria. I wasn’t sure if she would accept the offer, with so much time having passed without us speaking, but it was worth a shot. I missed her like crazy, to the point where I wasn’t interested in moving on until I knew for certain that there was no longer anything between us. Even if there wasn’t I had a feeling it would be a while before I allowed myself to get back out there. Love didn’t play nice and once you experienced it with the right person it was hard to accept anything less than the way they loved you.
TWENTY-ONE
Embria
“Embri, you’re my best friend in the entire world but this is insane. You can’t keep avoiding the obvious.”
“Kam, please. Not today.”
“Girl bye, with your not today ass. You’ve been running that same line for a month now. You better tell that man about his baby or I will.”
My eyes flew open and I summoned energy I hadn’t had seconds before which had me sitting up straight on my bed.
“No, you absolutely will not. That is not an option. He has to hear it from me.”
“Okay then, when?”
“I don’t know.” I fell back against my mattress again after feeling another wave of nausea plummeting through my system.
“I get why you haven’t reached out. You’re stubborn as shit and…”
“He hurt my feelings. He blamed me for something that wasn’t my fault and didn’t have the decency to at least have a conversation about it. I tried, he didn’t, so I have the right to be stubborn.”
“You absolutely do, but that baby changes the game. You can be hurt by or hate Rah all you want but you cannot and will not deny him the opportunity to be a father to his kid.”
I snorted through a laugh. “A kid he doesn’t want. And if he wants the kid then where does that leave me? He clearly doesn’t want me.”
“Embri, chill. You don’t know that. He made a mistake and men are big ass babies themselves. I’d be willing to bet that he misses you just as much as you miss him.”
“Doubtful.”
“My God. You’re a pain in my ass.”
“Good because this baby is a pain in mine. At least we’re both miserable.” I groaned, swallowing hard to curb the urge I was feeling to throw up again.
“Embri.” Her tone was now firm.
“I know. I’m going to tell him.”
“Today?”
“No, soon.”
“Didn’t you say his shop was on Washington? That’s literally two blocks from my job. I might be swinging by there on my way home from work. I think a light was flashing on my dashboard this morning. I might need to get that checked out.”
“Kam, you better not.”
“No promises, boo. I guess you might want to get a hustle on dropping the baby bomb in his lap. You know I can’t shut up when I start running my mouth. He might ask me when the last time my car was serviced and I’ll remember it was around the same time you were serviced and he knocked you up.”
“That’s not fair. Why do I have to be the one to put on big girl panties and reach out when I didn’t do anything wrong? He’s wrong. He’s the one who walked away and didn’t look back. Why should it be up to me to fix what he broke?”
“Because you’re the one who knows what you both have to lose. He doesn’t. It’s not fair, boo. It just is and you love him. Your feelings are hurt. Tell him about the baby or I will.”
“Kam, please don’t. I’m going to tell him.”
“Yes, you are. Today and preferably before six thirty because that’s when I’ll be heading home and reminded of that flashing light on my dashboard. Consider this tough love.”
“Kammmmm?”
“Bye, boo. We’ll chat later, okay?”
My eyes slammed shut when I realized she ended the call. That was what I got for opening my big mouth. I really wasn’t prepared to have that conversation with him. I didn’t want Rah to reconsider being with me simply because we were going to be parents. A lot of people co-parented just fine.
But do I want that?
Hell no, you idiot. You want him. All of him and everything that comes with him. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
I pushed out a short sigh before crawling out of bed to shower and dress for my appointments scheduled today. I really wasn’t in the mood but the bills had to be paid and just because I was an emotional wreck didn’t give me a pass on helping my patients work through their own emotional wreckage. Duty called so I forced myself to shower, dress, and head to the office.
By the time I’d finished my last appointment, my stomach was in knots. One thing I was certain of was that Kam was a woman of her word. She didn’t care one way or another about the fallout as long as she got the result she was in search of and right now, the result was me telling Rah that I was pregnant.
What grown woman gets bullied by her so-called best friend?
Me, I’m that woman.
Standing behind my desk, I began packing up my things when a call came through. I answered, embracing anything that would prolong the inevitable.
“Dr. Taylor speaking.”
“Hey Embria, it’s Donald.”
“Oh hey, how are you?” I plopped down in my chair and untwisted the cap of the bottle of water I’d been working on.
“Not too bad. I can’t really complain. Just wanted to give you the heads up that we got Williams moved out of your rotation.”
“Good and what did they say about me canceling the past two appointments?”
“Not much. Honestly, no one really cares. He slipped through the cracks and landed in the program because his lawyer was slick. Turns out he was trying to stack the deck with cases because he wanted a position with Altman and Tucker. He assumed proving to accomplish the unattainable would guarantee him a spot on their team. He didn’t care that Williams wasn’t a good fit or that he was wasting government money that could have benefitted someone else. The city wasn’t quite feeling that.”
I could hear the smugness in Donald’s tone. “What did you do?”
“Not a damn thing.”
“Donald?”
“Okay, so maybe I dropped a bug in Altman’s ear. It’s up to them what they do with the information. I hate how things turned out with Williams. He should have never been in the program. Consider it retribution.”
“I appreciate it. As long as he’s no longer my problem then I don’t care what happens to him.”
“No thanks necessary. Well, I won’t hold you. I simply wanted to let you know Williams will no longer be an issue.”
I wish it were that easy.
Rah!
After ending the call, I finished collecting my things, made a quick trip to the bathroom, and locked up my office so that I could leave. I guess it was now or never. As much as I hated to admit it, Kam was right. I owed Rah the courtesy of knowing we’d created a child. Once I delivered the news, the ball was in his court.
If he chose to be a part of this, then we could figure out how to make it work. Single parenting like my mother was not how I wanted my life to end up but the universe had other plans. At least I was getting a kid out of it and with a man who I felt at the very least would be an amazing father, regardless of him deciding that he didn’t want to be a husband.
I sat in the driver’s seat of my car with my head back and eyes slammed tight. I was an emotional wreck. My heart hurt because I wanted something I wasn’t sure was possible and if only to make matters worse, the very person who’d set the pace for the expectations I shouldn’t have had was calling me
“Hey, Ma.”
“What’s wrong? You sound weird.”
Sucking in a deep breath, I forced on a happy face, praying it filtered into my tone.
“Just a long day, that’s all. How are you?”
“I’m good just wondering what you were up to. We haven’t talked in weeks.”
Yep, because I didn’t want you to hand over all those I told you sos.
“Not much going on, on this end. Just work and life.”
She was quiet for a minute, which had me holding my breath. My mother was extremely perceptive. I wasn’t sure if it was a gift or not, but she always seemed to read me with very little effort.
“Life… that’s an interesting word choice. Trouble in paradise?”
See!
“No, Ma. You always think the worst.”
“Bri Bri, I’m not embracing negative thoughts. I simply feel when things are off. Your distance speaks louder than anything. What’s going on?”
Rah hates me. I’m carrying a baby he may or may not want and you were right, Taylor women never get a happily ever after.
“Nothing. Everything’s fine.”
“Bri Bri…”
“Ma, I’m fine. I have to go. I’ll come see you soon.”
The line was quiet again and I felt terrible for raising my voice but shit…
Now was not the time.
“Okay, sweetheart. I’ll let you go, but before I do, just know that I love you and you can talk to me about anything. Anything at all, I promise. I know I give you a hard time with some things but truthfully, it’s just my projections. Don’t let my opinions misguide you, okay? Promise me you won’t do that.”
I closed my eyes again, feeling overly emotional. “I know, Ma, and I won’t. I love you too, okay? I have to go. I’ll come by soon.”
I ended the call and allowed a minute to collect myself. I needed a break from everything and that was exactly what I was going to do. Take a few days away and disconnect from everything and everyone, but Kam was right, I needed to tell him.
TWENTY-TWO
Rah
“Baby, I miss you so much.” My gram sounded sincere. Truthfully I was sure she meant every word. It had been a little over two months and she hadn’t seen my face. A few calls here and there was about all I could handle. I loved her more than anything but the loyalty she felt obligated to show my uncle wasn’t the type of thing I could stomach. I went back on my word and made sure the bills were paid, but she only received the bare minimum and I refused to go anywhere near her house. It was best to keep my distance or I’d surely catch a charge.
“I miss you too but you already know how to remedy the problem.”
“Rah, baby, just tell me why you’re so angry. If the two of you sit down and talk I’m sure we can figure it out.”
My eyes lifted when I noticed Trece standing in my doorway. I had no interest in speaking to her either, especially after my eyes lowered to her stomach as a reminder of why she was no longer on my favorites list. But she could be an out for the other conversation I didn’t feel like entertaining.
“Gram, I have to go. There’s someone in my office.”
“Oh, okay, baby, please just consider what I’m asking. You two need to talk.”
“That won’t ever happen so don’t waste your time asking again. I love you but I have to go.”
I ended the call before she could manage another failed attempt at getting me to make amends with her son. As soon as I placed my phone on the desk and leaned back in my chair, Trece entered my office fully.
“Hey,” she spoke softly, offering an easy smile.
“Sup?”
“Not much. I, uhh… I was wondering if you could do me a favor.”
My brows slammed in close because a favor could be something as simple as borrowing gas money or something as complicated as signing the birth certificate for a kid that wasn’t mine. Trece’s logic wasn’t intact.
“Depends on what you need?” I made clear, not willing to play games.
Her smile brightened just a bit more as she placed her hands on the back of the chair in front of my desk.
“My car died. I tried everything but it won’t start. I was wondering if you would take a look. I’m kinda stuck without it and you can tow it here, right? That is, if you have to work on it. I’ll pay, I’m not asking you to do it for free, I just trust you is all. I’ve heard the horror stories of women getting taken advantage of and I know you won’t do that.”
My frown deepened when my eyes lowered to her stomach. It was barely there but because I knew she was pregnant the small bump was visible.
“What about your dude?” I tossed my chin toward her. “The kid’s father?”
Something flashed through her eyes which I couldn’t read but her words confirmed. “He wasn’t a fan of being a runner up and truthfully, I don’t really like him all that much. It’s hard to settle for just anyone once I’ve been with someone like you, Rah. I really messed things up and…”
“Trece…”
She shrugged, dropping her eyes briefly. “I know the deal. We’re done and I’ll be fine. My family has stepped up and things are what they are.”
I nodded. I hated Trece’s situation played out that way but it was sort of her karma. Still, I refused to be a complete asshole. “Where’s your car?”
“My apartment. I caught a ride here.”
“Alright, come on.”
I grabbed my phone, keys, and stood from my chair, motioning for her to go first. Once we left my office, I peeked into the first garage to let Zay know I was taking the tow truck and would be back in a little while.
An hour later, I determined something was going on with her battery and since it wouldn’t hold a charge, I towed her car back to the shop to install a new one. I didn’t bother charging because regardless of what happened between us Trece was good people. She just wasn’t for me. I’d always known she wasn’t but at the time I was only looking for something to fill in the dead space.
“Well, I guess this is it.”
I chuckled, standing outside the shop on the curb with Trece. She made it seem so damn formal. In a way it was, but we didn’t have to be enemies.
“Why you saying it like that? We’re cool, Trece. I want the best for you and this baby. Everyone deserves to be happy. Isn’t that right, tiny tot?”
I placed my hand on her stomach, not sure why, other than it felt necessary since I was addressing her kid. A kid still baking in her stomach and could have potentially been mine. Trece’s eyes lit up while a smile spread across her face. “You sure you don’t want to be a step daddy?”
That time when I laughed I threw my head back. “Hell nah.”
She shrugged, placing her hands where mine had just been. “Oh well, it didn’t hurt to ask.”
“I guess. Be easy, Trece. If you need anything, let me know.” I paused to clarify. “Anything as in help with your car.”
Her eyes rolled but she still kept a smile on her face. “I get it. Can I at least have a hug?”
“Yeah, you can get that.” I pulled her to me and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “You’ll be straight. Both of you.”
“I will. Thanks again, Rah.”
I felt my phone buzz in my pocket just as I entered the building. When I removed it and noticed the name attached to the text, my entire mood shifted, but it shifted again when I read the message.
Congrats, I guess. And then there were two! I guess it now makes sense why it was so easy for you to shut me out!
My face went tight, eyes squinting as I read the message multiple times trying to make sense of things. It took a minute for the thought to register that she might have been here. Maybe she pulled up and saw me with Trece. I turned on my heels and pushed through the front door, searching the parking lot, but there were no signs of her truck. I scanned the street in front of the shop and still came up empty.
“Things were cool then they weren’t.”
“Why the change?”
“She’s a psychiatrist too.”
“And that was an issue for you?” She kept her eyes on me, searching for answers I wasn’t offering verbally. That damn eye contact!
“Not at first but one day I showed up at her office and found out my uncle was one of her patients. The shit fucked me up.”
I saw the “aha” moment flicker in her eyes.
“Was she aware of your past prior to you finding out he was her patient?”
“Not all of it, but she knew I had issues.”
“So you’re upset that she’s seeing him as a patient?”
“I was but that’s not really her fault. I can’t put that on her. She didn’t know who he was. It’s just that if she’s seeing him then she has to know. How the hell can she look at me as a man after knowing my past? I could see it in her eyes when she looked at me. It fucked me up.”
“Have you talked to her about it?”
“No.”
“May I make a suggestion?”
“Your world, Doc,” I tossed out in agitation, which placed a smile on her face. She cared very little about my resistance. Her job was to push and that was exactly what she did with no apologies.
“Give her a chance to express what she’s thinking versus assuming.”
“I would if I thought she would see me. It’s been two months. I kinda fucked that up too.”
“All you can do is try. If she refuses, then at least you did your part. Sounds to me like you’re punishing this woman for opinions she may or may not have formulated. Instead of speculating, allow her the chance to share with you how she truly feels.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“I understand, but the fact that she landed you on my couch paints a pretty vivid picture.”
My eyes leveled with Dr. A’s and her smug grin was waiting. She saw right through my bullshit.
“This is not about her,” I was quick to clarify. It was a lie but what I went with.
She arched a brow, lips pursed, eyes leveled with mine.
“Alright. damn. She’s part of it but not the only reason I’m here.”
“Agreed, but she’s an important factor in why you made the call to schedule this appointment, Rahshon. Give her a chance to express herself without your assumptions. I’m open to seeing the two of you also if—”
“I’m good, Doc. I can handle this one on my own.”
Her smile spread wide.
“Good, then I’d like for you to schedule a follow-up visit.”
It was her subtle way of forcing my hand.
I groaned, knowing this wasn’t going to be a one hitter quitter. But if I was being honest with myself, Dr. A settled things in me that I struggled with independently. She was right, having a neutral sounding board did help.
“Alright, I can do that.”
When I left her office I made up my mind to reach out to Embria. I wasn’t sure if she would accept the offer, with so much time having passed without us speaking, but it was worth a shot. I missed her like crazy, to the point where I wasn’t interested in moving on until I knew for certain that there was no longer anything between us. Even if there wasn’t I had a feeling it would be a while before I allowed myself to get back out there. Love didn’t play nice and once you experienced it with the right person it was hard to accept anything less than the way they loved you.
TWENTY-ONE
Embria
“Embri, you’re my best friend in the entire world but this is insane. You can’t keep avoiding the obvious.”
“Kam, please. Not today.”
“Girl bye, with your not today ass. You’ve been running that same line for a month now. You better tell that man about his baby or I will.”
My eyes flew open and I summoned energy I hadn’t had seconds before which had me sitting up straight on my bed.
“No, you absolutely will not. That is not an option. He has to hear it from me.”
“Okay then, when?”
“I don’t know.” I fell back against my mattress again after feeling another wave of nausea plummeting through my system.
“I get why you haven’t reached out. You’re stubborn as shit and…”
“He hurt my feelings. He blamed me for something that wasn’t my fault and didn’t have the decency to at least have a conversation about it. I tried, he didn’t, so I have the right to be stubborn.”
“You absolutely do, but that baby changes the game. You can be hurt by or hate Rah all you want but you cannot and will not deny him the opportunity to be a father to his kid.”
I snorted through a laugh. “A kid he doesn’t want. And if he wants the kid then where does that leave me? He clearly doesn’t want me.”
“Embri, chill. You don’t know that. He made a mistake and men are big ass babies themselves. I’d be willing to bet that he misses you just as much as you miss him.”
“Doubtful.”
“My God. You’re a pain in my ass.”
“Good because this baby is a pain in mine. At least we’re both miserable.” I groaned, swallowing hard to curb the urge I was feeling to throw up again.
“Embri.” Her tone was now firm.
“I know. I’m going to tell him.”
“Today?”
“No, soon.”
“Didn’t you say his shop was on Washington? That’s literally two blocks from my job. I might be swinging by there on my way home from work. I think a light was flashing on my dashboard this morning. I might need to get that checked out.”
“Kam, you better not.”
“No promises, boo. I guess you might want to get a hustle on dropping the baby bomb in his lap. You know I can’t shut up when I start running my mouth. He might ask me when the last time my car was serviced and I’ll remember it was around the same time you were serviced and he knocked you up.”
“That’s not fair. Why do I have to be the one to put on big girl panties and reach out when I didn’t do anything wrong? He’s wrong. He’s the one who walked away and didn’t look back. Why should it be up to me to fix what he broke?”
“Because you’re the one who knows what you both have to lose. He doesn’t. It’s not fair, boo. It just is and you love him. Your feelings are hurt. Tell him about the baby or I will.”
“Kam, please don’t. I’m going to tell him.”
“Yes, you are. Today and preferably before six thirty because that’s when I’ll be heading home and reminded of that flashing light on my dashboard. Consider this tough love.”
“Kammmmm?”
“Bye, boo. We’ll chat later, okay?”
My eyes slammed shut when I realized she ended the call. That was what I got for opening my big mouth. I really wasn’t prepared to have that conversation with him. I didn’t want Rah to reconsider being with me simply because we were going to be parents. A lot of people co-parented just fine.
But do I want that?
Hell no, you idiot. You want him. All of him and everything that comes with him. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
I pushed out a short sigh before crawling out of bed to shower and dress for my appointments scheduled today. I really wasn’t in the mood but the bills had to be paid and just because I was an emotional wreck didn’t give me a pass on helping my patients work through their own emotional wreckage. Duty called so I forced myself to shower, dress, and head to the office.
By the time I’d finished my last appointment, my stomach was in knots. One thing I was certain of was that Kam was a woman of her word. She didn’t care one way or another about the fallout as long as she got the result she was in search of and right now, the result was me telling Rah that I was pregnant.
What grown woman gets bullied by her so-called best friend?
Me, I’m that woman.
Standing behind my desk, I began packing up my things when a call came through. I answered, embracing anything that would prolong the inevitable.
“Dr. Taylor speaking.”
“Hey Embria, it’s Donald.”
“Oh hey, how are you?” I plopped down in my chair and untwisted the cap of the bottle of water I’d been working on.
“Not too bad. I can’t really complain. Just wanted to give you the heads up that we got Williams moved out of your rotation.”
“Good and what did they say about me canceling the past two appointments?”
“Not much. Honestly, no one really cares. He slipped through the cracks and landed in the program because his lawyer was slick. Turns out he was trying to stack the deck with cases because he wanted a position with Altman and Tucker. He assumed proving to accomplish the unattainable would guarantee him a spot on their team. He didn’t care that Williams wasn’t a good fit or that he was wasting government money that could have benefitted someone else. The city wasn’t quite feeling that.”
I could hear the smugness in Donald’s tone. “What did you do?”
“Not a damn thing.”
“Donald?”
“Okay, so maybe I dropped a bug in Altman’s ear. It’s up to them what they do with the information. I hate how things turned out with Williams. He should have never been in the program. Consider it retribution.”
“I appreciate it. As long as he’s no longer my problem then I don’t care what happens to him.”
“No thanks necessary. Well, I won’t hold you. I simply wanted to let you know Williams will no longer be an issue.”
I wish it were that easy.
Rah!
After ending the call, I finished collecting my things, made a quick trip to the bathroom, and locked up my office so that I could leave. I guess it was now or never. As much as I hated to admit it, Kam was right. I owed Rah the courtesy of knowing we’d created a child. Once I delivered the news, the ball was in his court.
If he chose to be a part of this, then we could figure out how to make it work. Single parenting like my mother was not how I wanted my life to end up but the universe had other plans. At least I was getting a kid out of it and with a man who I felt at the very least would be an amazing father, regardless of him deciding that he didn’t want to be a husband.
I sat in the driver’s seat of my car with my head back and eyes slammed tight. I was an emotional wreck. My heart hurt because I wanted something I wasn’t sure was possible and if only to make matters worse, the very person who’d set the pace for the expectations I shouldn’t have had was calling me
“Hey, Ma.”
“What’s wrong? You sound weird.”
Sucking in a deep breath, I forced on a happy face, praying it filtered into my tone.
“Just a long day, that’s all. How are you?”
“I’m good just wondering what you were up to. We haven’t talked in weeks.”
Yep, because I didn’t want you to hand over all those I told you sos.
“Not much going on, on this end. Just work and life.”
She was quiet for a minute, which had me holding my breath. My mother was extremely perceptive. I wasn’t sure if it was a gift or not, but she always seemed to read me with very little effort.
“Life… that’s an interesting word choice. Trouble in paradise?”
See!
“No, Ma. You always think the worst.”
“Bri Bri, I’m not embracing negative thoughts. I simply feel when things are off. Your distance speaks louder than anything. What’s going on?”
Rah hates me. I’m carrying a baby he may or may not want and you were right, Taylor women never get a happily ever after.
“Nothing. Everything’s fine.”
“Bri Bri…”
“Ma, I’m fine. I have to go. I’ll come see you soon.”
The line was quiet again and I felt terrible for raising my voice but shit…
Now was not the time.
“Okay, sweetheart. I’ll let you go, but before I do, just know that I love you and you can talk to me about anything. Anything at all, I promise. I know I give you a hard time with some things but truthfully, it’s just my projections. Don’t let my opinions misguide you, okay? Promise me you won’t do that.”
I closed my eyes again, feeling overly emotional. “I know, Ma, and I won’t. I love you too, okay? I have to go. I’ll come by soon.”
I ended the call and allowed a minute to collect myself. I needed a break from everything and that was exactly what I was going to do. Take a few days away and disconnect from everything and everyone, but Kam was right, I needed to tell him.
TWENTY-TWO
Rah
“Baby, I miss you so much.” My gram sounded sincere. Truthfully I was sure she meant every word. It had been a little over two months and she hadn’t seen my face. A few calls here and there was about all I could handle. I loved her more than anything but the loyalty she felt obligated to show my uncle wasn’t the type of thing I could stomach. I went back on my word and made sure the bills were paid, but she only received the bare minimum and I refused to go anywhere near her house. It was best to keep my distance or I’d surely catch a charge.
“I miss you too but you already know how to remedy the problem.”
“Rah, baby, just tell me why you’re so angry. If the two of you sit down and talk I’m sure we can figure it out.”
My eyes lifted when I noticed Trece standing in my doorway. I had no interest in speaking to her either, especially after my eyes lowered to her stomach as a reminder of why she was no longer on my favorites list. But she could be an out for the other conversation I didn’t feel like entertaining.
“Gram, I have to go. There’s someone in my office.”
“Oh, okay, baby, please just consider what I’m asking. You two need to talk.”
“That won’t ever happen so don’t waste your time asking again. I love you but I have to go.”
I ended the call before she could manage another failed attempt at getting me to make amends with her son. As soon as I placed my phone on the desk and leaned back in my chair, Trece entered my office fully.
“Hey,” she spoke softly, offering an easy smile.
“Sup?”
“Not much. I, uhh… I was wondering if you could do me a favor.”
My brows slammed in close because a favor could be something as simple as borrowing gas money or something as complicated as signing the birth certificate for a kid that wasn’t mine. Trece’s logic wasn’t intact.
“Depends on what you need?” I made clear, not willing to play games.
Her smile brightened just a bit more as she placed her hands on the back of the chair in front of my desk.
“My car died. I tried everything but it won’t start. I was wondering if you would take a look. I’m kinda stuck without it and you can tow it here, right? That is, if you have to work on it. I’ll pay, I’m not asking you to do it for free, I just trust you is all. I’ve heard the horror stories of women getting taken advantage of and I know you won’t do that.”
My frown deepened when my eyes lowered to her stomach. It was barely there but because I knew she was pregnant the small bump was visible.
“What about your dude?” I tossed my chin toward her. “The kid’s father?”
Something flashed through her eyes which I couldn’t read but her words confirmed. “He wasn’t a fan of being a runner up and truthfully, I don’t really like him all that much. It’s hard to settle for just anyone once I’ve been with someone like you, Rah. I really messed things up and…”
“Trece…”
She shrugged, dropping her eyes briefly. “I know the deal. We’re done and I’ll be fine. My family has stepped up and things are what they are.”
I nodded. I hated Trece’s situation played out that way but it was sort of her karma. Still, I refused to be a complete asshole. “Where’s your car?”
“My apartment. I caught a ride here.”
“Alright, come on.”
I grabbed my phone, keys, and stood from my chair, motioning for her to go first. Once we left my office, I peeked into the first garage to let Zay know I was taking the tow truck and would be back in a little while.
An hour later, I determined something was going on with her battery and since it wouldn’t hold a charge, I towed her car back to the shop to install a new one. I didn’t bother charging because regardless of what happened between us Trece was good people. She just wasn’t for me. I’d always known she wasn’t but at the time I was only looking for something to fill in the dead space.
“Well, I guess this is it.”
I chuckled, standing outside the shop on the curb with Trece. She made it seem so damn formal. In a way it was, but we didn’t have to be enemies.
“Why you saying it like that? We’re cool, Trece. I want the best for you and this baby. Everyone deserves to be happy. Isn’t that right, tiny tot?”
I placed my hand on her stomach, not sure why, other than it felt necessary since I was addressing her kid. A kid still baking in her stomach and could have potentially been mine. Trece’s eyes lit up while a smile spread across her face. “You sure you don’t want to be a step daddy?”
That time when I laughed I threw my head back. “Hell nah.”
She shrugged, placing her hands where mine had just been. “Oh well, it didn’t hurt to ask.”
“I guess. Be easy, Trece. If you need anything, let me know.” I paused to clarify. “Anything as in help with your car.”
Her eyes rolled but she still kept a smile on her face. “I get it. Can I at least have a hug?”
“Yeah, you can get that.” I pulled her to me and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “You’ll be straight. Both of you.”
“I will. Thanks again, Rah.”
I felt my phone buzz in my pocket just as I entered the building. When I removed it and noticed the name attached to the text, my entire mood shifted, but it shifted again when I read the message.
Congrats, I guess. And then there were two! I guess it now makes sense why it was so easy for you to shut me out!
My face went tight, eyes squinting as I read the message multiple times trying to make sense of things. It took a minute for the thought to register that she might have been here. Maybe she pulled up and saw me with Trece. I turned on my heels and pushed through the front door, searching the parking lot, but there were no signs of her truck. I scanned the street in front of the shop and still came up empty.
