Delphi collected works o.., p.625
Delphi Collected Works of Grant Allen, page 625
I set out on my wanderings, therefore, to go round the world on my own account and my own Manitou, which last I grew to love in time with a love passing the love of Mr. Cyrus Hitchcock. I carried the strict necessary before me in a small waterproof bicycling valise; but I sent on the portmanteau containing my whole estate, real or personal, to some point in advance which I hoped to reach from time to time in a day or two. My first day’s journey was along a pleasant road from Frankfort to Heidelberg, some fifty-four miles in all, skirting the mountains the greater part of the way; the Manitou took the ups and downs so easily that I diverged at intervals, to choose side-paths over the wooded hills. I arrived at Heidelberg as fresh as a daisy, my mount not having turned a hair meanwhile — a favourite expression of cyclists which carries all the more conviction to an impartial mind because of the machine being obviously hairless. Thence I journeyed on by easy stages to Karlsruhe, Baden, Appenweier, and Offenburg; where I set my front wheel resolutely for the Black Forest. It is the prettiest and most picturesque route to Switzerland; and, being also the hilliest, it would afford me, I thought, the best opportunity for showing off the Manitou’s paces, and trying my prentice hand as an amateur cycle-agent.
From the quaint little Black Eagle at Offenburg, however, before I dashed into the Forest, I sent off a letter to Elsie Petheridge, setting forth my lovely scheme for her summer holidays. She was delicate, poor child, and the London winters sorely tried her; I was now a millionaire, with the better part of fifty pounds in pocket, so I felt I could afford to be royal in my hospitality. As I was leaving Frankfort, I had called at a tourist agency and bought a second-class circular ticket from London to Lucerne and back — I made it second-class because I am opposed on principle to excessive luxury, and also because it was three guineas cheaper. Even fifty pounds will not last for ever, though I could scarce believe it. (You see, I am not wholly free, after all, from the besetting British vice of prudence.) It was a mighty joy to me to be able to send this ticket to Elsie, at her lodgings in Bayswater, pointing out to her that now the whole mischief was done, and that if she would not come out as soon as her summer vacation began— ’twas a point of honour with Elsie to say vacation, instead of holidays — to join me at Lucerne, and stop with me as my guest at a mountain pension, the ticket would be wasted. I love burning my boats; ’tis the only safe way for securing prompt action.
Then I turned my flying wheels up into the Black Forest, growing weary of my loneliness — for it is not all jam to ride by oneself in Germany — and longing for Elsie to come out and join me. I loved to think how her dear pale cheeks would gain colour and tone on the hills about the Brünig, where, for business reasons (so I said to myself with the conscious pride of the commission agent), I proposed to pass the greater part of the summer.
From Offenburg to Hornberg the road makes a good stiff climb of twenty-seven miles, and some 1200 English feet in altitude, with a fair number of minor undulations on the way to diversify it. I will not describe the route, though it is one of the most beautiful I have ever travelled — rocky hills, ruined castles, huge, straight-stemmed pines that clamber up green slopes, or halt in sombre line against steeps of broken crag; the reality surpasses my poor powers of description. And the people I passed on the road were almost as quaint and picturesque in their way as the hills and the villages — the men in red-lined jackets; the women in black petticoats, short-waisted green bodices, and broad-brimmed straw hats with black-and-crimson pompons. But on the steepest gradient, just before reaching Hornberg, I got my first nibble — strange to say, from two German students; they wore Heidelberg caps, and were toiling up the incline with short, broken wind; I put on a spurt with the Manitou, and passed them easily. I did it just at first in pure wantonness of health and strength; but the moment I was clear of them, it occurred to the business half of me that here was a good chance of taking an order. Filled with this bright idea, I dismounted near the summit, and pretended to be engaged in lubricating my bearings; though as a matter of fact the Manitou runs in a bath of oil, self-feeding, and needs no looking after. Presently, my two Heidelbergers straggled up — hot, dusty, panting. Woman-like, I pretended to take no notice. One of them drew near and cast an eye on the Manitou.
‘That’s a new machine, Fräulein,’ he said, at last, with more politeness than I expected.
‘It is,’ I answered, casually; ‘the latest model. Climbs hills like no other.’ And I feigned to mount and glide off towards Hornberg.
‘Stop a moment, pray, Fräulein,’ my prospective buyer called out. ‘Here, Heinrich, I wish you this new so excellent mountain-climbing machine, without chain propelled, more fully to investigate.’
‘I am going on to Hornberg,’ I said, with mixed feminine guile and commercial strategy; ‘still, if your friend wishes to look — —’
MINUTE INSPECTION.
They both jostled round it, with achs innumerable, and, after minute inspection, pronounced its principle wunderschön. ‘Might I essay it?’ Heinrich asked.
‘Oh, by all means,’ I answered. He paced it down hill a few yards; then skimmed up again.
‘It is a bird!’ he cried to his friend, with many guttural interjections. ‘Like the eagle’s flight, so soars it. Come, try the thing, Ludwig!’
‘You permit, Fräulein?’
I nodded. They both mounted it several times. It behaved like a beauty. Then one of them asked, ‘And where can man of this new so remarkable machine nearest by purchase himself make possessor?’
‘I am the Sole Agent,’ I burst out, with swelling dignity. ‘If you will give me your orders, with cash in hand for the amount, I will send the cycle, carriage paid, to any address you desire in Germany.’
‘You!’ they exclaimed, incredulously. ‘The Fräulein is pleased to be humorous!’
‘Oh, very well,’ I answered, vaulting into the saddle; ‘If you choose to doubt my word — —’ I waved one careless hand and coasted off. ‘Good-morning, meine Herren.’
They lumbered after me on their ramshackled traction-engines. ‘Pardon, Fräulein! Do not thus go away! Oblige us at least with the name and address of the maker.’
I perpended — like the Herr Over-Superintendent at Frankfort. ‘Look here,’ I said at last, telling the truth with frankness, ‘I get 25 per cent on all bicycles I sell. I am, as I say, the maker’s Sole Agent. If you order through me, I touch my profit; if otherwise, I do not. Still, since you seem to be gentlemen,’ they bowed and swelled visibly, ‘I will give you the address of the firm, trusting to your honour to mention my name’ — I handed them a card— ‘if you decide on ordering. The price of the palfrey is 400 marks. It is worth every pfennig of it.’ And before they could say more, I had spurred my steed and swept off at full speed round a curve of the highway.
I pencilled a note to my American that night from Hornberg, detailing the circumstance; but I am sorry to say, for the discredit of humanity, that when those two students wrote the same evening from their inn in the village to order Manitous, they did not mention my name, doubtless under the misconception that by suppressing it they would save my commission. However, it gives me pleasure to add per contra (as we say in business) that when I arrived at Lucerne a week or so later I found a letter, poste restante, from Mr. Cyrus Hitchcock, inclosing an English ten-pound note. He wrote that he had received two orders for Manitous from Hornberg; and ‘feeling considerable confidence that these must necessarily originate’ from my German students, he had the pleasure of forwarding me what he hoped would be the first of many similar commissions.
FELT A PERFECT LITTLE HYPOCRITE.
I will not describe my further adventures on the still steeper mountain road from Hornberg to Triberg and St. Georgen — how I got bites on the way from an English curate, an Austrian hussar, and two unprotected American ladies; nor how I angled for them all by riding my machine up impossible hills, and then reclining gracefully to eat my lunch (three times in one day) on mossy banks at the summit. I felt a perfect little hypocrite. But Mr. Hitchcock had remarked that business is business; and I will only add (in confirmation of his view) that by the time I reached Lucerne, I had sown the good seed in fifteen separate human souls, no less than four of which brought forth fruit in orders for Manitous before the end of the season.
I had now so little fear what the morrow might bring forth that I settled down in a comfortable hotel at Lucerne till Elsie’s holidays began; and amused myself meanwhile by picking out the hilliest roads I could find in the neighbourhood, in order to display my steel steed’s possibilities to the best advantage.
By the end of July, Elsie joined me. She was half-angry at first that I should have forced the ticket and my hospitality upon her.
‘Nonsense, dear,’ I said, smoothing her hair, for her pale face quite frightened me. ‘What is the good of a friend if she will not allow you to do her little favours?’
‘But, Brownie, you said you wouldn’t stop and be dependent upon me one day longer than was necessary in London.’
‘That was different,’ I cried. ‘That was Me! This is You! I am a great, strong, healthy thing, fit to fight the battle of life and take care of myself; you, Elsie, are one of those fragile little flowers which ’tis everybody’s duty to protect and to care for.’
She would have protested more; but I stifled her mouth with kisses. Indeed, for nothing did I rejoice in my prosperity so much as for the chance it gave me of helping poor dear overworked, overwrought Elsie.
We took up our quarters thenceforth at a high-perched little guest-house near the top of the Brünig. It was bracing for Elsie; and it lay close to a tourist track where I could spread my snares and exhibit the Manitou in its true colours to many passing visitors. Elsie tried it, and found she could ride on it with ease. She wished she had one of her own. A bright idea struck me. In fear and trembling, I wrote, suggesting to Mr. Hitchcock that I had a girl friend from England stopping with me in Switzerland, and that two Manitous would surely be better than one as an advertizement. I confess I stood aghast at my own cheek; but my hand, I fear, was rapidly growing ‘subdued to that it worked in.’ Anyhow I sent the letter off, and waited developments.
By return of post came an answer from my American.
‘Dear Miss — By rail herewith please receive one lady’s No. 4 automatic quadruple-geared self-feeding Manitou, as per your esteemed favour of July 27th, for which I desire to thank you. The more I see of your way of doing business, the more I do admire at you. This is an elegant poster! Two high-toned English ladies, mounted on Manitous, careering up the Alps, represent to both of us quite a mint of money. The mutual benefit, to me, to you, and to the other lady, ought to be simply incalculable. I shall be pleased at any time to hear of any further developments of your very remarkable advertising skill, and I am obliged to you for this brilliant suggestion you have been good enough to make to me. — Respectfully,
‘Cyrus W. Hitchcock.
‘What? Am I to have it for nothing, Brownie?’ Elsie exclaimed, bewildered, when I read the letter to her.
I assumed the airs of a woman of the world. ‘Why, certainly, my dear,’ I answered, as if I always expected to find bicycles showered upon me. ‘It’s a mutual arrangement. Benefits him; benefits you. Reciprocity is the groundwork of business. He gets the advertisement; you get the amusement. It’s a form of handbill. Like the ladies who exhibit their back hair, don’t you know, in that window in Regent Street.’
Thus inexpensively mounted, we scoured the country together, up the steepest hills between Stanzstadt and Meiringen. We had lots of nibbles. One lady in particular often stopped to look on and admire the Manitou. She was a nice-looking widow of forty-five, very fresh and round-faced; a Mrs. Evelegh, we soon found out, who owned a charming chalet on the hills above Lungern. She spoke to us more than once: ‘What a perfect dear of a machine!’ she cried. ‘I wonder if I dare try it!’
‘Can you cycle?’ I asked.
‘I could once,’ she answered. ‘I was awfully fond of it. But Dr. Fortescue-Langley won’t let me any longer.’
‘Try it!’ I said dismounting. She got up and rode. ‘Oh, isn’t it just lovely!’ she cried ecstatically.
‘Buy one!’ I put in. ‘They’re as smooth as silk; they cost only twenty pounds; and, on every machine I sell, I get five pounds commission.’
‘I should love to,’ she answered; ‘but Dr. Fortescue-Langley — —’
‘Who is he?’ I asked. ‘I don’t believe in drug-drenchers.’
She looked quite shocked. ‘Oh, he’s not that kind, you know,’ she put in, breathlessly. ‘He’s the celebrated esoteric faith-healer. He won’t let me move far away from Lungern, though I’m longing to be off to England again for the summer. My boy’s at Portsmouth.’
‘Then, why don’t you disobey him?’
Her face was a study. ‘I daren’t,’ she answered in an awe-struck voice. ‘He comes here every summer; and he does me so much good, you know. He diagnoses my inner self. He treats me psychically. When my inner self goes wrong, my bangle turns dusky.’ She held up her right hand with an Indian silver bangle on it; and sure enough, it was tarnished with a very thin black deposit. ‘My soul is ailing now,’ she said in a comically serious voice. ‘But it is seldom so in Switzerland. The moment I land in England the bangle turns black and remains black till I get back to Lucerne again.’
When she had gone, I said to Elsie, ‘That is odd about the bangle. State of health might affect it, I suppose. Though it looks to me like a surface deposit of sulphide.’ I knew nothing of chemistry, I admit; but I had sometimes messed about in the laboratory at college with some of the other girls; and I remembered now that sulphide of silver was a blackish-looking body, like the film on the bangle.
However, at the time I thought no more about it.
SHE INVITED ELSIE AND MYSELF TO STOP WITH HER.
By dint of stopping and talking, we soon got quite intimate with Mrs. Evelegh. As always happens, I found out I had known some of her cousins in Edinburgh, where I always spent my holidays while I was at Girton. She took an interest in what she was kind enough to call my originality; and before a fortnight was out, our hotel being uncomfortably crowded, she had invited Elsie and myself to stop with her at the chalet. We went, and found it a delightful little home. Mrs. Evelegh was charming; but we could see at every turn that Dr. Fortescue-Langley had acquired a firm hold over her. ‘He’s so clever, you know,’ she said; ‘and so spiritual! He exercises such strong odylic force. He binds my being together. If he misses a visit, I feel my inner self goes all to pieces.’
‘Does he come often?’ I asked, growing interested.
‘Oh, dear, no,’ she answered. ‘I wish he did: it would be ever so good for me. But he’s so much run after; I am but one among many. He lives at Château d’Oex, and comes across to see patients in this district once a fortnight. It is a privilege to be attended by an intuitive seer like Dr. Fortescue-Langley.’
Mrs. Evelegh was rich— ‘left comfortably,’ as the phrase goes, but with a clause which prevented her marrying again without losing her fortune; and I could gather from various hints that Dr. Fortescue-Langley, whoever he might be, was bleeding her to some tune, using her soul and her inner self as his financial lancet. I also noticed that what she said about the bangle was strictly true; generally bright as a new pin, on certain mornings it was completely blackened. I had been at the chalet ten days, however, before I began to suspect the real reason. Then it dawned upon me one morning in a flash of inspiration. The evening before had been cold, for at the height where we were perched, even in August, we often found the temperature chilly in the night, and I heard Mrs. Evelegh tell Cécile, her maid, to fill the hot-water bottle. It was a small point, but it somehow went home to me. Next day the bangle was black, and Mrs. Evelegh lamented that her inner self must be suffering from an attack of evil vapours.
I held my peace at the time, but I asked Cécile a little later to bring me that hot-water-bottle. As I more than half suspected, it was made of india-rubber, wrapped carefully up in the usual red flannel bag. ‘Lend me your brooch, Elsie,’ I said. ‘I want to try a little experiment.’
‘Won’t a franc do as well?’ Elsie asked, tendering one. ‘That’s equally silver.’
‘I think not,’ I answered. ‘A franc is most likely too hard; it has base metal to alloy it. But I will vary the experiment by trying both together. Your brooch is Indian and therefore soft silver. The native jewellers never use alloy. Hand it over; it will clean with a little plate-powder, if necessary. I’m going to see what blackens Mrs. Evelegh’s bangle.’
I laid the franc and the brooch on the bottle, filled with hot water, and placed them for warmth in the fold of a blanket. After déjeûner, we inspected them. As I anticipated, the brooch had grown black on the surface with a thin iridescent layer of silver sulphide, while the franc had hardly suffered at all from the exposure.
I called in Mrs. Evelegh, and explained what I had done. She was astonished and half incredulous. ‘How could you ever think of it?’ she cried, admiringly.
‘Why, I was reading an article yesterday about india-rubber in one of your magazines,’ I answered; ‘and the person who wrote it said the raw gum was hardened for vulcanising by mixing it with sulphur. When I heard you ask Cécile for the hot-water-bottle, I thought at once: “The sulphur and the heat account for the tarnishing of Mrs. Evelegh’s bangle.”’
‘And the franc doesn’t tarnish! Then that must be why my other silver bracelet, which is English make, and harder, never changes colour! And Dr. Fortescue-Langley assured me it was because the soft one was of Indian metal, and had mystic symbols on it — symbols that answered to the cardinal moods of my sub-conscious self, and that darkened in sympathy.’
I jumped at a clue. ‘He talked about your sub-conscious self?’ I broke in.
