Complete works of peter.., p.98
Complete Works of Peter Cheyney. Illustrated, page 98
"Say that Jake says he'll play ball with Yatlin. That once Yatlin's got both halves of the formula safe in Paris he's to let the Federal Government know that unless they release Jake right away Yatlin will sell both halves of the formula to some foreign government.
"Say that Yatlin knows that the Federal Government will do anythin' to keep that formula safe, that they'll offer Jake an' Yatlin a free pardon an' a million to get it bck.
"An' when you've told her all that, ask her where you're to go in Paris. Ask her where you can contact the Yatlin mob there. You got all that?"
I make her repeat it all. She gets it all right.
I take her inta the bedroom an' grab off the telephone. I get the chief operator at the Chicago main exchange an' tell him that Mr. Zetland V. Kingarry wants every line on the Mexican switch closed down except one an' that one is to plug in right away for the de Elvira in Mexico City, that when they get it they get the stage door an' say that Mrs. Georgette Istria is makin' a personal an' urgent call to Zellara. I tell this guy to move like he had the devil on his tail.
He says give him five minutes.
I leave Georgette by the telephone an' I scram inta the library. I find the bell-push, move the shelves an' there is the wall safe.
I stick the key inta the safe an' turn it. I am runnin' with sweat. I reckon I ain't ever been so steamed up in my life.
The door swings back. Inside the safe is a big leather case closed with a locked zipper. It is covered with Government oilskin an' my heart gives a bump when I see that at both ends the Federal seals are intact I reckon Jake knew his chemistry wasn't good enough to make him curious to look at the Jamieson half of the formula!
I stick it under my arm an' listen. Through the open door of the bedroom I can hear Georgette speakin'. After a bit she starts in again.
She has got Zellara!
There is a lot more talk. Georgette is doin' fine. She is puttin' on an act like she was plenty scared. She is cryin' inta that phone an' goin' on like she was nuts. I hear her tellin' Zellara about the plane an' all that stuff, an' then I hear her say...
"Yes... yes, I understand. I am to go to the Armine Lodge at Neuilly, near Paris. To ask for the resident doctor...."
I flop in a chair. Me, I could cheer. We got the contact an' with a bitta luck I'm goin' to get that Yatlin rat where it's goin' to hurt him plenty.
I grab off the library telephone. I get through to the office of the Agent-in-Charge of the Federal Bureau in Chicago. I stick around while they get him.
After a bit he comes through. I tell him who I am.
"Look," I tell him. "I gotta leather wallet here, Federally sealed. It's plenty important. This wallet can start about fifteen wars an' a coupla revolutions. You get around here an' take it off me because I'm scrammin' for New York in a quick plane. You get yourself another plane an' you get over to Washington. When you get there you're goin' to hand that wallet to J. Edgar Hoover an' nobody else. You got all that?"
He says he's got it an' he's comin' right over.
I go over an' give myself a little drink. Georgette comes inta the room an' stands lookin' at me.
"Georgette," I tell her. "It looks like we pulled it off. You go pack your grip, baby. I'm takin' you places. I'm gettin' a plane fixed up pronto an' we're scrammin' for the New York boat right away."
She looks sorta washed up. I reckon she is feelin' all in.
"I'm glad, Lemmy," she says.
She comes over an' puts her hand in mine.
Then she flops.
I catch her as she falls. I'm tellin' you this Georgette is the berries.
She even looks good when she faints.
X. YOU'D BE SURPRISED
I HAVE already told you guys that I am a mug who likes to lie around on his back an' do a spot of thinkin'. Well, believe it or not, I have had plenty time on this boat for doin' just nothin' else but.
Don't you get any ideas in your head that I reckoned that this trip was goin' to be just another sweet joy ride all one hundred per cent Georgette, deck tennis, drinks in the smokin' room bar an' walks around the boat deck in the moonlight, with all the stuff that is thrown in with them moonlight walks.
Me, I am supposed to be Tony Scalla an' I am not such a sap as to show myself around this boat with Georgette, just in case there is some fly baby aboard who has got an idea as to who I really am.
So what!
I been stickin' around this cabin for five days, goin' for a walk around the boat deck by myself late at night when I ain't likely to be seen, an' amusin' myself by wonderin' just what guys are makin' a big play for Georgette an' just how that momma is reactin' when she ain't got my eye on her an' she knows that her husband is nice an' dead an' no trouble to anybody. I get to thinkin' that it is just my luck that I should be the bozo who irons out Jake an' then has to stick around a state-room all the time pickin' my teeth an' singin' "I Wonder Who's Got My Girl."
I've had plenty of time for wonderin' I'm tellin' you.
It's a sweet night. I go over an' open the porthole an' look out. The sea looks pretty good to me, an' somewhere the ship's band is playin' a swell number. The tune sorta brings me back to thinkin' of Georgette. Maybe you guys will think I am a bit nutty about this dame an' maybe you are right. She's got plenty. She's got looks an' brains an' plenty of guts an' I reckon that she is the sorta dame that I could settle down with an' run a chicken farm with some time, that bein' a profession that I think I could go for any time I was not chasin' thugs around the world.
I get the idea back of my head that one of these fine days when I got all this bezusus cleared up I will proposition Georgette in a very big way even if I only get a first-class smack on the beezer.
Just what the hell I am goin' to do when I get to Paris is another thing that is givin' me plenty to think about.
Figure it out for yourselves. I gotta keep durn quiet about what the job is. I gotta keep my nose clean an' look after Georgette an' I gotta get my hooks on that Grearson half of the formula.
Yatlin will surely be around in Paris an' if he or any of the mugs he has got workin' for him there an' I reckon they will be a sweet bunch of babies so much as get a smell of the fact that I am kickin' around they would fill me so full of holes that I would look like Aunt Mabel's antimacassar.
But the main thing that is worryin' me is Georgette. This dame has got to play a lone hand when we get to Paris. She is the one who has gotta contact this Armine Lodge place that the Yatlin crowd is usin'. Maybe they are there an' maybe Zellara told Georgette to go there just as a sorta contact place where she could meet up with somebody in the mob who would put her on to the main joint where they are operatin'.
An' Georgette has gotta do her stuff on her own because the Yatlin mob will expect her to turn up with the real Tony Scalla. It would be a sweet set-up if I went along an' one of these thugs knew who I was.
So whatever play I fix for us to use when we get there has gotta be worked by Georgette on her own until such time as she can tip me off as to where the end of this job is to be pulled, after which I reckon I can take care of things myself.
I give myself a shot of rye an' turn on the gramophone. I am consolin' myself that I am goin' to get some sorta action pretty soon, because the steward tells me that we shall hit Le Havre, France, to-morrow evenin' some time.
Me, I am sorta worried an' I don't know why, because it is not like me to get that way unless somethin' screwy is goin' on.
There is a knock on the door an' the steward comes in an' says the chief radio guy wants a word with me. He scrams an' the officer comes in.
"I've got a radio for you, Mr. Scalla," he says. "An' I'm asked to deliver it to you personally. I'm sorry we've not seen more of you this trip. But perhaps you don't like the sea."
I tell him that I am not a very good sailor an' that the sea always makes me see double an' a few other things. He has a drink an' scrams.
I open the radio. It is addressed to Tony Scalla, S.S. Paris, French Line. It says:
ADVISE IMMEDIATE CONTACT CORPORATION OFFICE PARIS STOP MARKET FALLING STOP FATHER.
an' it means:
INSTRUCTION CONTACT U.S. EMBASSY PARIS IMMEDIATELY ON ARRIVAL STOP WATCH YOUR STEP STOP DIRECTOR FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION.
What the hell!
I burn the radio message an' I sit down an' smoke some cigarettes an' wonder what has broke. I reckon that if Washington Headquarters have been cablin' the U.S. Embassy in Paris with information for me, somethin' has broke loose since we left New York. But what I don't like is that "Watch your step" this is an expression that is only used when there is plenty trouble stickin' around an' any time that I am runnin' into trouble I always like to know just what it is an' where it's comin' from.
An' right now I don't know anythin' very much. Most of the time I been guessin'.
Well, I gotta do somethin'. I look at my watch. It is eleven o'clock. I sit down at the writin' desk an' I write a note to Georgette:
Dear Georgette,
We shall be pullin' in at Le Havre some time to-morrow afternoon or evening. Here's what you do. Directly the "Paris" docks you get through the Customs and take the tie-up train for Paris. When you get there you go straight to the Hotel Grande-Claremont and check in as Mrs. Georgette Istria.
Tell the clerk at the reception that you want a suite with telephone in the sitting and bedrooms. Mention sort of casually that you are expecting a visit some time from your friend Mr. Scalla and that any time he comes around or calls through he is to be put right on to you. This will make it easy for me to get you directly I want to.
If you see me when the boat docks don't take any notice of me.
I shall be in Paris before you. I shall take a plane from Le Havre and get there good and quick because maybe something has broke that I ought to know about.
When you pull in at the Grande-Claremont go to bed and get all the sleep you can. I don't reckon to have to contact you until some time the day after to-morrow.
So long, soldier,
Tony."
I seal this note up, an' ring for the steward. I give him ten bucks and tell him to leave the note with Mrs. Georgette Istria's stewardess so she'll get it directly she goes to her cabin.
I have a final cigarette an' I turn in. Because I have always found that bed is a sweet place especially if you ain't quite certain of anythin', an' I have always found it to be a very good thing to be certain of nothin' at all.
When we dock at Le Havre I don't waste any time. I am lucky with Customs an' get through quick. I grab a car, get over to the airfield, an' I am lucky enough to find a taxi-plans that has just pulled in to meet the boat, an' the pilot is just ridin' back to Paris. This must be my lucky day.
While we are doin' this hop I just sit back an' relax. It is a quarter to eleven when we get inta the airfield at Le Bourget. I grab off a cab an' tell the driver to step on it. We go straight to the Hotel Wellington, which is a nice quiet sorta place, where I check in as Tony Scalla an' get myself a room with a telephone.
I go up to my room, wait till my bags are brought up an' get straight on to the U.S. Embassy. I say I wanta talk to the Senior Embassy Officer who is on duty, an' that my name is Tony Scalla. After a bit he comes on the line.
"Good-evening, Mr. Scalla," he says. "By the way," he goes on, "is there any other name, probably the name of a friend of yours, that you'd like to mention to us?"
"Yeah," I tell him. "I got a great friend. His name is Zetland V. T. Kingarry."
"That's all right, Mr. Scalla," he says. "We have a communication for you here. It arrived two days ago a cable letter. Will you tell me where it can be sent?"
I tell this guy that I am at the Hotel Wellington, an' I tell him not to send the communication, whatever it may be, round by one of the Embassy messengers, but to send it around by the local messenger agency.
He says O.K. He also says that his name is Varney, an' that he has instructions to stick around the Embassy so as to be there any time I want him. I tell him thanks a lot an' hang up.
I walk up an' down my sittin' room wonderin' about this communication. I reckon this is a cable letter from the Director an' I reckon he must have sent it within about ten or twelve hours after the Paris left New York. Anyhow I am soon goin' to know.
In the meantime I think I will get a little action. I get hold of the phone book an' I look up the number of Hinks Agency. This agency is an American private detective agency run by Cy Hinks, a right guy who used to be in the New York State Police one time, an' who now makes some sweet dough runnin' a swell private dick's business in Paris, an' gettin' the big American play-boys outa jams when they get sucked in by the pretty ladies an' suchlike. Cy is a nice bozo an' a straight shooter.
When I get through to the office they tell me that Cy has gone home, but after a lotta palava, during which I tell 'em that I am practically his long lost brother, I get the number outa these guys. Five minutes afterwards I get him on the telephone.
"Look, Cy," I tell him. "I don't wanta give you a name because sometimes phones can be dangerous, but if you don't recognise my voice maybe you will remember the little stick-up job at the Ivy road house near Albany in 1934. If you do you'll remember the guy who was with you."
"I get it," he says. "I guess I know who I'm talking to."
"O.K.," I tell him. "Here's what I want you to do. There is a dame pullin' in at the Grande-Claremont Hotel some time to-night. She got off the Paris that docked at Le Havre. She'll be comin' inta town by train. I'm stayin' at the Wellington, an' callin' myself Tony Scalla.
"Now this dame is a sweet piece of work, an' also she is mighty important at the present moment. I got the sorta idea in my head that there might be one or two not-so-good boys stickin' around waitin' for her to check in, an' takin' an interest in this dame's movements. They mighta guessed that she was comin' in on the Paris. You got that?"
He says he's got it.
"Well," I tell him, "you stick a coupla good boys around there, really intelligent guys who don't look like dicks. Put 'em up at the hotel. You want fellers who look good an' can behave themselves, an' tell 'em to stick a rod under their arms. But they're not to use it unless they've absolutely gotta. I don't want any shootin', but if it looks really tough an' as if this dame is really in a jam, they can get busy an' shoot their heads off, because it'll be O.K. You follow me?"
He says he's ahead of me an' will take care of it right away. I say I will contact him somehow during the next two three days an' maybe have a talk.
I hang up an' order myself a bottle of Cognac. I'm feelin' pretty tired. Stickin' around in that steamship cabin for days on end don't sorta suit my temperament. Just when I have nicely negotiated the drink, the messenger from the theatre ticket service comes round an' gives me a letter. I give this guy a dollar an' after he has scrammed outa the room I lock the door an' go sit under the electric light in front of my dressin' table an' decode an' read it, an' believe it or not it gives me heart disease.
Federal Government Secret.
Headquarters F.B.I. Washington Identification 472/B
To S.A. Lemuel H. Caution for transmission by cable via U.S. Embassy Paris in code.
Reference Jamieson-Grearson stop Director F.B.I. informs Special Agent L. H. Caution of the following events which have transpired since Special Agent Caution left New York stop.
1. The Jamieson formula handed by Caution to the Agent-in-Charge Chicago F.B.I. has been examined and found to be a fake stop Whilst the formula is written in the same scientific form, numerals, code signs, quantities and names of chemicals have been altered. The leather wallet containing this fake formula is without doubt the original wallet used to enclose the true formula. The oilskin covering is also the same and the Federal seals which were unbroken were obviously removed by an expert and replaced after the fake had been put in the wallet. It would seem therefore that this change must have been effected shortly before the arrival in Chicago of Special Agent Caution. The transposition of the fake formula into the original sealed case was no doubt effected for the purpose of gaining time. The situation is made more difficult owing to the fact that on receipt of the information from the Agent-in-Charge of Chicago Field Office that the Jamieson formula had been handed to him the very close watch on all U.S. ports and frontier lines was relaxed.
2. Reference Pinny Yatlin. Information has been received by the Director F.B.I. Washington that Pinny Yatlin was last night shot dead outside an apartment house in Mexico City. Killer is unknown. Further information is being sought by the Director and if secured will be transmitted in due course to the U.S. Embassy Paris.
3. Reference Zellara. With reference to the information requested by Special Agent Caution in regard to any police record on file against this woman, it is now established that she has served terms of imprisonment in a women's reform home and two State penitentiaries. Complete record of her fingerprints and handwriting are on file in the Oklahoma women's penitentiary.
4. A photograph of this woman, whose full name is Zellara Magdalena Riozos, together with some associates has been secured and has been transmitted over the wire to the Editor of the Paris New York Times. This gentleman has received an instruction to transmit a print of this photograph immediately he receives an application from Tony Scalla and will treat this matter as confidential. Director F.B.I. Washington wishes to advise Special Agent Caution, having regard to the importance of the investigation on which he is engaged, and that such investigation is now taking place in a foreign country, that he should proceed with the utmost care. Good luck. Read, learn, destroy."
I read this stuff through again an' I burn it. Then I sit down in a chair an' give myself a cigarette. I will not try to tell you guys the names I start callin' myself, because I have gotta idea back of my head that I am the king-pin sucker of the whole wide world, that I have laid myself wide open an' been taken for the sweetest ride that ever a bonehead who called himself a Federal Investigator has ever been on.
