Restless, p.11
Restless, page 11
In the hallway, facing the door, I quietly close it shut. I don’t know why; maybe I think it’s so I don’t wake the memories inside.
"Hey. I'm sorry about—oh my god. Are you okay?"
Duncan? I turn, and he’s right there. Slowly, I shake my head as I struggle to hold in a sob. "No, I'm not. I need to get out of here," I confess. I don’t want anyone to see me looking like this. I can’t answer questions, especially since I don’t know all the answers myself.
There’s nothing but sympathy in his eyes. "Come on. I'll give you a ride," he offers as he slips off his tuxedo jacket and throws it around my shoulders.
"Thank you," I sob softly as he does his best to shield me from the curious onlookers. He ushers me out the front door and down the steps to his SUV, parked only a few feet away. He opens the passenger door, and I slip in, clicking on my seat belt out of habit. I’m almost in a trance as I sit silently while Duncan strolls around the vehicle and gets into the driver's seat.
"I don't think anyone saw you, Franny," he mutters, and I slowly nod my acknowledgment, trying to choke back my tears. Gently, he prods, "What happened?"
I try to focus on his face through my smudged makeup, my lip trembling. "Please, go," I whisper my plea.
I thought it would be bad being here before, but now it's way worse. I don't have my support system anymore. He left me.
He offers me a small smile. "Okay," he gives in and drives away. He goes below the speed limit, giving me the time and silence I need as I struggle with my emotions.
What did I expect from a man like Finnick O'Reilly? He's not the kind of guy who commits to anyone. I just happened to get six weeks of his time—exactly like our agreement stated.
He was going to break my heart anyway. He might as well get it over with now.
Why the hell didn't I see this coming? I should've. I knew it would happen at some point, but I was blindsided by his betrayal.
And here’s the most reliable person in my life, driving me home. My ex-boyfriend is comforting me because my boyfriend broke up with me.
The car comes to a stop, and I look up. We’re on the street outside the middle school we attended together. "Come on."
"What are we doing here?" I ask.
He looks at me with a twinkle in his eye. "There's a meteor shower tonight. It'll be fun," he says before jumping out.
This is something I wasn’t expecting. I just want to go home and cry over a half-gallon of Blue Bell and expel more of my tears, watching reruns of Gilmore Girls. Instead, here I am because Duncan Malloy thinks all a broken heart needs is to look at the stars.
Gingerly, I exit the vehicle as he lays a blanket in the grass and takes a seat.
"It's been a long night, Duncan," I say, hinting for us to leave without coming off as a bitch.
"Come on, Franny. If you don't want to stay after a couple of minutes, I'll take you home. Deal?" he presses, giving me those sweet doe eyes of his.
Duncan is such a nice guy. I let out a groan before slipping off my heels and plopping next to him.
"Wanna tell me what happened?" he asks as he pulls a metal flask from his pocket. He twists off the lid and hands it to me.
Who is this guy with a blanket in his car and alcohol in his jacket? "What's this?" I ask.
"Vodka. I figured I might need it tonight, but you look like you need a drink more than I do," he assesses accurately.
I take a small sip and hum at the sweet pineapple flavor added. He didn't even put straight vodka in the flask. Vodka and pineapple juice.
It's delicious. After a few more sips, it begins to take the edge off the pain caused by the shards left of my heart, stabbing into my chest.
"What happened?" he asks again.
I slowly clear my throat, worried my voice will crack when I finally speak, and tears start falling again.
"He broke up with me," I admit miserably as I hand the flask back to him.
His eyes slam to mine. "Damn. I'm sorry," he mutters, rubbing my back comfortingly.
"He wasn't even supposed to be there. I asked him to go with me, and he said no. He said it’s not his type of thing. He showed up intending to give me one more good night together before breaking things off. Who the fuck does that? Go to prom with someone just to dump them the next morning?" I can hardly form the words, let alone keep my voice level. It cracks and breaks repeatedly until I’m sure he can barely understand.
"That's a real dick move. I can't believe he pulled that shit. You deserve so much better, Franny," he says, then pulls me toward him and wraps his arms around me.
I’ve been broken before, but this feeling is beyond broken. I broke when my uncle hurt me, but not even that measures up to this. The cracks in my heart are so deep I feel them in my marrow, changing me to the core. My fear of being unlovable is rearing its ugly head again. Even if I find someone to love me, I don’t think I’d be able to return the feeling.
Is that just because I love him? Or maybe it's because it came out of left field?
I want to be alone, but I know that’s not what I need. These feelings inside me are poison, and I should cry on the shoulder that Duncan is offering me. I don't know what I'd do without him.
Chapter Nine
Her
The meteor shower was so beautiful. It made my heart soar. Or maybe that was a combination of the meteor shower and the vodka Duncan and I drank? Because of him, I didn’t spend my night in the fetal position.
I groan as a pair of arms tighten around my stomach. My eyes shoot open at the sounds of birds chirping, and I look around.
Oh god. We're at the middle school, on the blanket, and Duncan is sleeping with his arms wrapped around me.
His face is so relaxed in his sleep, like he doesn't have a care in the world, and everything is as it should be. His blonde hair casts a shadow over his face, and there's something magnetizing about this moment. I wish I could feel that kind of calmness.
But reality raises its ugly head with the sun. It's officially Saturday morning. His parents will be pissed, and my mom is going to cuss me out for not coming home.
"Duncan," I whisper as I softly touch his stubble, trying to wake him as gently as possible.
He grumbles under his breath before a low hum pushes past his full lips.
"Duncan, wake up," I hiss.
He slowly opens his eyes before smirking at me. "Hey, beautiful."
Beautiful? I almost laugh in his face. I look and feel like crap.
"We didn't go home last night," I say, preparing for him to freak out. He just shrugs nonchalantly.
"I was going to crash with Christian anyway, so no big deal," he mutters with sleep in his voice.
"Well, my mom is going to kill me," I say before sitting up. "Thanks for last night, though. I really appreciate you bringing me here."
Duncan sends me a kind smile. "No problem."
We stand and pack the blanket back in his SUV before getting in. Wordlessly, he drives to my house where, luckily, my mom's car isn't there.
"Another time I'm here, and your parents are nowhere to be found. Shocking," he jokes as he parks in the driveway.
Dear god. How much did I leave him out of the loop? Has that much happened since we broke up?
"It's just me and my mom. My dad ran off right after you moved to town," I admit.
Shocked, Duncan stares at me. Then he swallows. "I'm finding there are a lot of things you never told me,” he says.
"Sorry. I didn't want anyone to know a lot of things. It was embarrassing how truly sad and pathetic my life is," I tell him, depression building back up.
How horrible of a girlfriend was I to Duncan?
"I wish you would have felt comfortable telling me, but I understand. Your life isn't sad or pathetic. Everyone goes through shit. If you want to talk, I'm a good listener," he offers.
My heart skips a beat at his offer, and I force myself to keep looking forward. What the fuck is wrong with me? I must have a screw loose to be losing my shit over Duncan being so sweet.
He's always been sweet, but it's never affected me like this.
I can't be doing this. I can't jump around. I need to deal with how Finn put my heart through the ringer and process all of this. I need to be of sound mind before I even think of dragging anyone else into this.
Not to mention, I specifically remember Duncan cheating on me. That sounds like a heartbreak just waiting to happen.
Cut the crap! You were just as guilty as him. Weren't you the one who stripped down for Finn an hour before that? Sounds like you're even.
Fuck you!
So, fuck yourself? Sounds about right.
"Do you want to come inside? My mom probably made some coffee before she left," I offer before I can stop myself. My Team Duncan inner voice seems to have taken control of my mouth, and I'm saying shit I shouldn't be.
"Sure. Sounds good. I think we could both use some coffee."
Ain't that the damn truth?
Duncan and I get out of the car, and I immediately catch sight of the old, black pickup truck down the street. It's far enough away that I can't tell if anyone is inside, but I know who that truck belongs to.
It's Finn's truck.
I cringe at the sight before turning back to Duncan. He puts his arm around my shoulder and leads me up to the front door. I take out my keys and unlock the door before we walk in.
"Are you okay?" he asks as the door closes.
"Nothing," I deny, not even giving the right response. "I mean, I'm fine." In reality, I'm shaken by Finn showing up when I arrive home with Duncan.
"Come on, Franny. Tell me,” he presses.
"Okay. Look out the window," I suggest.
Duncan moves over to the window and pulls back the curtain, taking in the surroundings. Curiosity glimmers in his eyes.
"Do you see the black truck down the street? I ask.
He nods.
"That's Finn's truck," I admit.
I watch as his eyes turn to slits, anger in them. "What the hell?"
"Seeing his truck just surprised me, is all," I admit.
"Is he stalking you?" he asks.
"What? No. Of course not. That's ridiculous." I roll my eyes at how preposterous the idea is. Finn doesn't have the time to stalk people, and he's not the kind of person who'd do that. Finn isn't crazy.
"Then what is he doing on your street? You guys broke up last night, right?" he asks.
"Duh, or I wouldn't have been crying on your shoulder half the night. He's probably just... visiting someone." I cringe at the image.
I know Finn. If he's visiting someone, it's for nothing except carnal pleasure. The idea of him fucking some other girl guts me, and I don't want to think about it.
"Coffee?" Duncan asks after staring at me for a moment.
He's drawing his own conclusions, and he knows me well enough to know this subject is hurting me.
"Sounds good," I say with a fake smile as we walk toward the staircase.
"Why don't you get changed? I'll make sure there's hot coffee and something to eat," he offers.
I smile at him. "Thanks, Duncan. You don't have to do that, though."
"I know. I want to," he says with a big smile on his face before strolling into the kitchen.
Why does he have to be so sweet?
Well, look where being with the brooding bad boy got you!
Leave me alone.
I walk into my room and quickly peel my grass-stained prom dress off before tossing it to the floor. I'm about to change into some fresh clothes when I see Finn's truck through the window.
What the fuck is he doing? Is Duncan right? Is Finn stalking me? All I want is for his truck to leave.
I grab my change of clothes and head to the bathroom with my phone in my hand. I turn on the shower to heat up before I open my phone and decide to be brave.
Francine: Why are you here?
I send the text to Finn. I'm alerted to a message when my phone buzzes.
Finn: I just wanted to make sure you got home safe. Why are you with Malloy?
Wow. Duncan is right. Finn is fucking checking up on me, and that pisses me the fuck off. How dare he do this to me? He has no right to check up on me or interrogate me about Duncan when he broke my heart.
Francine: None of your business. Things are over between us. You can go back to fucking the rest of the girls in Grove Hill, and what I do with my life is none of your concern.
I send the text and put down the phone before climbing in the shower. I quickly wash the product out of my hair, the makeup off my face, and clean myself between my legs.
The memory rushes through my mind of Finn down there, and it makes me cry. I can still smell him, and it's killing me.
We live in the same town and go to the same school, but I know things will never be the same again. Even if someday I manage to forgive him for this, I won't be able to touch him, kiss him, or feel the way he loves me.
He doesn't really love me after all. If he did, he wouldn't have torn me down the way he did.
I'm not his princess. He's not my dark prince. I'm just a random girl he saved from three bullies one day, a girl who gave him her virginity and who he tossed away like garbage. He's just the human torch setting my body in flames until I turn to ash, never to be the same again.
I sob as I rub the bar of soap against my thighs, remembering his touch, the way he kissed me the very first time in that tent on the beach.
I rinse myself off and get out of the shower. I dry myself numbly before pulling on my clothes and brushing out my red and blue ringlets.
First chance that I get, I'm cutting those out.
I need some type of change. Maybe cut my hair short and dye it brown, like my mom's hair?
I throw my hair up into a bun and put on concealer to cover up my puffy eyes. It's bad enough that I cried on Duncan's shoulder for half the night. I don't want him to feel bad about me crying in the shower.
I make my way down the stairs as my phone buzzes again. I look at it as I step into the kitchen, and my gut clenches.
Finn: You're right. How silly of me. I hope Malloy enjoys your tight cunt. I sure as hell did.
I slam my eyes shut as I set my phone face down on the counter.
"Hey," Duncan says as he sits a steaming mug of coffee in front of me. I can't even fake a smile right now. I just grab the cup of coffee and slowly sip it. "What happened?" he asks, exasperated.
"Nothing," I lie horribly.
His eyes narrow with irritation, not letting this go. "Tell me," he demands.
"I... texted Finn," I admit.
"What did he do?" he asks as he moves around the counter to me.
"Nothing," I deflect. "What you said messed with me, so I texted him, asking why he's here, and he said he was making sure I got home okay. Then he started questioning me, and I got pissed. I think I pissed him off, so he shot back with something that was a really low blow," I explain.
I don't want to tell Duncan what Finn said. He's already sensitive about me having sex with Finn. I don't want to hurt the person who helped me through last night, and Duncan has been so great.
He grabs my phone in silence, even as I demand for him to give it back. I don't want him to see it, but I never locked my screen. As soon as he looks at my phone, his face turns red with rage.
"What the fuck?" he growls before charging out of the room.
Fear grips me as I call after him, racing behind him. I barely make it to him before he has the chance to open the door.
"Stop!" I demand.
"He doesn't get to talk to you like that," he says with venom slipping into his words.
He's about to pull open the door, and I do the one thing I can think of to stop him. I'm not sure exactly where the thought comes from, but I grab him by the back of his head and press my mouth to his.
Consciously, I know this is the only way to stop Duncan from getting into another fight with Finn, but subconsciously, I wonder if the thought enters my mind because I actually want to kiss him.
One hand digging into my hair and another wrapping around my waist, Duncan pulls me closer, locking his lips to mine so passionately my toes curl. His tongue dances with mine in an erotic tango as I moan from the feeling his kiss invokes within me.
If he keeps kissing me like this, I might do something I never thought I'd do, like pull him into my bed while we're naked.
Girl, it's called sex. I think it would be an excellent idea. You're overthinking this. He's single. You're single.
Duncan pulls out of the kiss with lust clouding his brown eyes as my chest heaves with desire.
No. This is not happening. Not now, at least. I can't pull Duncan in like that so soon after Finn. It's not right.
"Don't go out there," I rasp my plea as I cup his face in my hands, staring into his eyes. "Please," I beg as his hand glides down my back and grasps my waist, his grip firm.
"Okay," he concedes before blocking me against the door. "But next time you kiss me like that, be prepared for me not to stop. I’m not as much of a gentleman as you might think. I only have so much restraint," he warns.
My gut fills with warmth, and my core vibrates with anticipation.
Shock explodes in my mind at the realization that Duncan Malloy just turned me on. He's never done that before. Liking kissing him and liking him are entirely different from wanting to have sex with him, and Duncan just made me want it from him.
My panties are damp, and I can't calm my heart down.
"Understand?" he presses.
I fight to hold in the soft moan at his insistence.
"Yes," I breathe.
I taste the sweet peppermint of his cologne, and my fingers itch to touch him again.
No, this is a bad idea. It's too soon. So what if Duncan turned me on with his words? I'm heartbroken, and I can't just throw myself at another guy to avoid dealing with how Finn made me feel.
***
Duncan and I finish our cups of coffee as my mom walks into the kitchen.
"What's going on here?" she asks as we look up. My mom looks between me and Duncan with confusion and apprehension.
She has no clue who he is, and that alone is insane.
Duncan and I dated for six years, and my mom has never met him.
