Restless, p.16
Restless, page 16
The rest of my Saturday is taken up with helping my mom set up the apothecary.
I'm so worried about her. Lately, it seems like the wind has been ripped out of her sails. It's like I'm watching her slowly die an emotional death, but she won't talk to me. She's just withering away into nothing, and I'm powerless to stop it.
After dinner, I decide to finally bite the bullet and get ready to go to Finn's house, where the party is.
I throw on a black thermal, a red skirt, and a pair of black boots before grabbing my gray zip-up hoodie since I know it’s a bit chilly outside.
I go out to my car and drive across town to Finn's house. The route seems so foreign now. I haven't been here in so long. It feels like another life.
I know, realistically, it's only been two weeks, but it’s been the longest two weeks of my life. Cars are parked up and down the street, nearly blocking traffic, but it seems someone saved a spot just for me in the driveway—just like they used to.
I park and head into the house. People pour out into the front and backyard, and the music is pumping so loud my ears are ringing.
"Hey! It's Harley!" Eoghan screams over the music, and I turn my head, seeing him over by the kitchen, pouring drinks for their guests.
I send him a small wave with a timid smile, and he lets out a loud howl as I spot Colin, Tiernan, and Rian in different corners of the room, who all start chanting.
"Harley! Harley! Harley!"
Suddenly, the entire room is chanting, and I'm sure no one except for the Bastards knows why they are chanting that.
Then I find Finn with my gaze. He's sitting on the couch with a couple of guys around him, one being Donatello with his wife in his lap. There is no girl in Finn's lap or anywhere close to him except Matilda. None of the girls in the house are even paying him any attention.
Finn's eyes meet mine as he takes a drag off his joint, then a sip of his beer, a look of appreciation on his face. He doesn't say anything or even smile, but I attribute that more to the company of gangsters around him.
"Harley, get your cute ass over here!" Eoghan calls for me again, and this time, I make my way over to him.
"Hey, E. How are you doing?" I say as I reach him.
He immediately tosses me over his shoulder, and I screech.
"Eoghan Kennedy, put me down!" I yell, and all eyes fall on me.
"The party animal has arrived, people!"
Seriously? Party animal?
I am not a party animal, but I have to admit, I've missed these guys. They keep their distance because of Finn, and I know that, but I still see them as my friends.
"Put me down, caveman!" I yell before slapping his ass as hard as I can.
"Yee-ouch! Fine, woman," he grumbles before setting me on my feet.
"That's more like it." I grin up at him, and he gives me a quick hug.
"To be honest, that was more to mess with the birthday boy. I've gotta get my licks in somehow, right?" he says with a charming smile.
"Yeah, right. Like he even cares at this point. Or did you forget that he broke things off with me?" I respond.
Eoghan just stares at me with a blank expression for a moment. "Wow! You really are that blind, aren't you? He's been a major fucking sourpuss since then. I thought Rian was a Debbie Downer, but we didn't know shit until you guys split up. That guy is fucking miserable without you. He hasn't even been with anyone else."
My brain short circuits as I process Eoghan's words. Finn hasn't been with anyone since he broke up with me, even those girls who were all over him at school.
"What about the girls I saw him with at school?" I ask.
"Those bitches? That was just for show. They're the same girls that are always after him, but he wanted you to think he didn't give a damn so you'd move on. Since you're here, you obviously haven't moved on, have you, Harley?"
Eoghan's words bother me.
Finn wanted me to move on from him.
How fucking stupid is he? I haven't been moving on. I've been struggling every fucking day.
"If he wanted me to move on, why are you telling me this?" I ask.
"So you can show him that you're both better off together, and all his self-sacrificing bullshit is hurting you both. He's my friend, and he deserves to be happy. You make him happy. He's just too much of a dumbshit to see you need each other," Eoghan tells me with a big smile on his face. "The question remains, what are you going to do about it?"
His question rattles around in my mind, but a more pressing one leaves my mouth. "He didn't ask for me to be here, did he?"
Eoghan falls silent, looking guilty as all hell. "Harley."
"You and Sorcha came up with this plan on your own. He has no idea why I'm here, does he?" I press more, feeling my emotions getting the better of me.
Finn didn't ask for me to be here.
He didn't take the first step.
Sorcha tricked me into making the first move.
"Harley, come on. We're just trying to help," he defends his actions.
"You're making shit worse, you asshole. Just mind your own business. I'm going to use the bathroom, then I'm leaving," I rasp with emotion before charging past him.
"Harley!"
I ignore Eoghan and hurry to the bathroom before the tears have the chance to develop. I'm so angry, hurt, confused, but most of all, I just want to go back to before everything went to shit and live in that time on repeat.
I use the toilet, then look at myself in the mirror as I wash my hands.
I didn't bother straightening my hair, so the curls go up to my shoulders, framing my face, which makes me look way younger than I am.
I wanted to move on from Finn—be done with all the pain and stress—but it doesn't seem like anyone wants to make that easier on me.
Maybe if I move past my relationship with Finn, I can start something truly beautiful with Duncan. We can have our second chance. Duncan has always been dedicated to me. He would never break my heart like Finn has. And I'm falling for Duncan slowly. Given time, I might fall in love with him, but I need to move past Finn first.
I dry off my hands and pull open the bathroom door, coming face to face with Finn, his icy blues staring deep into my soul.
"Uh, hey," I say nervously, but he doesn't speak. "Sorcha... asked me to... come," I mutter, my words breaking at the tension of our reunion.
"I see," he grumbles before stepping closer to me. A single step brings him straight to me, his presence barricading me to the sink with his gaze.
Within a moment, his knuckles are running down my cheek affectionately, and I lean into his touch.
"Oh, hell, babygirl," he whispers as he leans into me. "I've missed you so much."
My body purrs at his words, and my soul soars.
I'm losing myself in him, and I never want to come up for air again.
"I missed you, too," I admit a mere second before his lips crash against mine, pulling me tight against him. My body buzzes as I rediscover every hard muscle in his front.
He slowly pulls out of the kiss, and I whimper my disapproval.
"Come upstairs with me, babygirl?" he asks.
A soft moan slips past my lips from his request.
I know exactly what's going to happen if we go upstairs. We're going to fuck like hyenas, and we'll miss the rest of the party.
And yet, I don't give a fuck about this party. It isn't even his birthday. That was yesterday. Now is the time for Finn and me to make up properly.
"Yes, Daddy."
I feel the growl in his chest rumbling before he takes my hand in his.
I'm lost in a haze as Finn pulls me out of the bathroom and guides me back into the living room. Everyone seems to ignore us as Finn tugs me behind him up the stairs and past everyone in the house.
Chapter Fourteen
Her
Finn's lips remain latched to mine as his tongue invades and possesses me, taking over everything. He has my panties bunched around my knees, and the magic his fingers are working on my clit and G-spot is devious.
I moan and cry out into his lips as he teases me with my orgasm, holding me just over the edge.
"Do you want to come?" he asks, his voice deep, as he pulls out of our passionate lip lock.
"Yes! Please, don't stop," I beg moments before he wraps his free hand around my throat, his icy blues blazing into me.
"Who am I?" he growls.
"My Daddy."
"And what does Daddy do for you, babygirl?"
"He takes care of me," I say, then his fingers speed up.
"Good girl. You're so fucking wet. I bet I could slide my cock right in with you this wet."
I cry out in pleasure as my pussy starts to clench around his pleasing digits. "Please, please. I need it."
"What do you need?"
"Daddy's cock."
He lets out a growl right before my orgasm hits, and I buck my hips against his palm, losing myself to the incredible feeling of my release, mingling with the emotional high of having Finn back.
"You're going to get it. Take off your panties," he demands fervently and starts working on his zipper.
I reach down to push off my panties when someone slams their fist against the door.
"Finn, we've got a situation out back!" one of the guys yells before running off, their loud stomping reverberating into the room.
Finn groans loudly and stands up from the bed, zipping back up his pants.
Suddenly, his expression flips. I have no clue if it was the alcohol in his system clouding his brain until now or what, but he seems to be thinking clearly.
"Fucking hell. This shouldn't be happening," he grumbles while swiping a hand through his hair, tension clear in his movement.
I know he's not talking about whatever situation is going on outside.
He's talking about this.
Us.
"Finn," I say, standing up as I pull up my underwear. "Don't do that, okay?" I gently touch his stubble like I always have, and he stares down at me. “I know you don’t mean that. I love you,” I admit to what I’ve been fighting saying for so long.
Eoghan’s words ring through my mind.
You can show him that you’re better off together, and all his self-sacrificing bullshit is hurting you both.
He’s right. I can’t roll over. I need to stand my ground and fight for us.
“I love you so much, Finn, but all you’re doing is hurting both of us by pushing me away. I know you want me to move on, but I can’t. This whole Gandhi complex you are dealing with is killing me, and it’s killing you. I know you’re hurting, and when you love someone, you try to help stop their pain,” I say, but his face suddenly becomes stoic.
“Sorry to break it to you, Princess, but I don’t love you. For the record, I’m doing just fine without you warming my bed,” he growls before walking out the door, slamming it on his way.
My heart ricochets around my ribs, angry stabs cutting through it as I stand there, tears collecting in my eyes.
I put myself out there, laid my heart on the line, and Finn crushed it. It wasn’t that he meant the words because I know he didn’t. If he meant them, I could leave and never come back, knowing I did my best.
But, no, Finnick fucking O’Reilly lied. Then, he tried to make me feel like shit about it.
Well, fuck him.
I’ve put my heart on the line too many times for this asshole, and his self-sacrificing is killing me.
If he wants to sacrifice us for whatever God complex he’s developed, fine, but I’m going to make him wish he never made that bet with me in the first place.
I fix my clothes and throw back on my jacket before leaving his room and heading down the stairs.
The house is empty, and all the noise is coming from the backyard. I step out the front door and see no one around, just a line of cars down the street. My eyes fall on Finn’s bike, and memories flash through my eyes of all the times I’ve ridden this bike.
Anger courses through me, boiling and seeping through my pores, and the magma makes me see red. I’m full of rage, and Finn is about to find out exactly how much he should not fuck with me.
I grab a canister of lighter fluid and march right over to his bike. I kick it to the ground and stomp out the tube connected to the gas tank before dousing the entire thing in lighter fluid. I pour the last bit left in the canister over his bike before grabbing another. Using the nozzle to direct the flow, I move to the grass and meticulously write a message on the ground.
There will be no question about who is responsible, but I don’t care. He can call the cops if he wants. It won’t matter. I’m a motherfucking Gray, and that means he can’t fucking touch me.
I toss away that canister of lighter fluid before grabbing the matches. I light one match and throw it on the soiled grass before lighting another and tossing it on Finn’s bike.
I don’t wait to see if anyone finds it. They will eventually, and Finn will know not to fuck with me ever again. I’m not afraid to completely fuck up his life if he keeps messing with my heart.
This is just the first warning. If he or his friends keep dragging me back, it will just get worse from here.
They call me Harley for a reason.
She’s a whole lotta pretty and a whole lotta crazy.
I stroll over to my car as the fires blaze behind me, get inside, and drive away, hoping to never see that house again.
***
I don't go home. I drive straight for Duncan's house like a woman on a mission.
I'm so beyond done with Finn. He's hurt me for the last time, and now is the time for action.
I'm burning bridges, but Duncan seems to be one bridge I have no desire to burn.
Screw this waiting game.
I know what I want, and that's Duncan.
I pull into the driveway with just his SUV in it.
He's alone. Good.
I throw open the car door and race over to the porch. Grabbing the key from under the welcome mat, I unlock the door before hurrying inside.
"Duncan!" I call his name as I make my way over to the stairs.
"Franny?" I hear his voice upstairs, and I race up the stairs, taking two at a time.
Last time I was here, I ran from Duncan, but not this time. This time, I'm running to him.
"Duncan," I call as I make it up the stairs and see him walking out of his room, just a pair of tight-fit jeans hugging his waist and his chest bare.
"Hey. What's wrong?" he asks as I frantically grab him and pull him in for a deep, passionate kiss, remembering the warning he gave me weeks ago.
I only have so much restraint.
Well, so do I.
He wraps his fingers in my hair and pulls me closer, kissing me with everything he has before pinning me to the wall and pressing his body against mine.
"Fuck," he growls. "What are you doing?" he asks in a tone I've never heard from him. It's so commanding and dominating.
"I want you," I admit, gasping to catch my breath. "I really want you, Duncan, and I'm done pretending that I don't." My heart races as his hand wraps around my throat, pressing me harder against the wall, the texture digging into my shoulder.
"You want me?" he presses, a dominating growl lingering on his lips.
"Yes," I moan. "I want you, Duncan. You."
"Prove it," he challenges and drops his hands from my neck, leaning over me.
He wants me to show him how much I want him. He wants proof of my desire, and the way he demands it soaks my panties.
He might be even more dominating than Finn ever has been.
"What are you waiting for... Francine?" he rasps in my face, daring me to deny him. "Prove it."
I don't need any further encouragement.
I drop to my knees in front of him and slip off my jacket before crossing my arms behind my back in submission to him.
"Hmm," he groans before he grabs my chin, tilting it up to him. "Open your mouth," he demands in a gravelly voice, and I drop my mouth open. "Good girl."
My entire body shudders at his appreciation.
I watch as he undoes his jeans and pulls out his rock-hard, pulsating cock, thick with arousal.
Oh god.
I want to taste it so bad.
"How bad is your gag reflex?" he asks as he grabs my chin again.
"Average," I admit. "But I like gagging."
He smirks at me, but there's something different about his smile right now. He's no longer Duncan, the sweet boy who was so understanding with me for six years. Now, he's Duncan, the Dom who wants me in every way.
"Good. You're about to prove how much you want me. You're going to stay like this and let me fuck your sexy mouth," he demands, but there's a question of consent in his eyes, making sure I'm okay with him doing this.
"Please," I beg, opening my mouth wider for his fat cock.
He presses his dick into my mouth, and I moan at the taste of him.
God, that delicious coconut on his skin makes me even wetter.
He places one hand back around my throat and holds me in place by the root of my hair with the other, keeping me exactly where he wants.
He starts thrusting, pressing his cock down my throat, and the gagging gives me a euphoric high as I run my tongue up and down his cock with each thrust.
"Fuuuck," he hisses as his hand tightens around my throat. "Fucking god, baby," he growls as he gains momentum. "Your mouth is just perfect for my cock. Is this what you wanted? Did you want me to fuck your pretty little face?"
My spit drips down my chin as I force my arms to stay locked behind my back, digging my nails into my arms. I want to touch him, but I know he wants real submission from me. He won't stand for me pushing for more like my dickwad of an ex would.
I hum my response and tighten my lips around him.
"Shit. Keep doing that, and you'll make me explode," he growls as if this is a bad thing, so I stop it.
He pulls his cock out of my mouth, and I take a deep breath before moaning.
"Stand up," he says as he tucks his still-hard cock back in his pants.
I want to beg him to give it back to me so I can make him come but I know better. This will be going at his speed.
"Take off your clothes," he orders as he undresses me with his eyes.
