In the beginning, p.108
In The Beginning, page 108
Nathan forced a smile, pushing his chair back with undiluted anger. “Why don't you tell her?” he snarled. “You've been looking forward to it all fucking day.”
He disappeared after that, closing the door to the backyard with a slam. He was going to his studio.
“So what's going on?” I asked, looking at David.
Hannah gave me a mocking smile walking up to me and shoving a stack of papers in my face. “Nathan is now a free and divorced man, sis. Congratulations.”
CHAPTER 36
Evelyn
I felt his eyes before I even turned around. His gaze was piercing, leaving me breathless despite what had happened between us. I scoffed, shaking my head.
How the hell does he still have this power over me?
How was I so fucking weak?
“You don't have to leave, Evelyn,” he said, emotionless.
“I do,” I said with a forced smile. “You're a single man, Nathan. I can't be around if you want to have other women here. I wouldn't want to be an obstacle in your dating life.”
He didn't say anything and I turned around to make sure he was still there. He was. His hair was disheveled, lips tilted down in a frown. His eyes…those eyes that typically had the ability to do me over were saddened. Ignoring the pull he had on me I continued packing, resisting the need to comfort him.
Why would I?
He's the one that fucked us up.
Nathan stood by the door while I finished packing. I did so in a hurry, needing to get the hell out of there before I lost it. A couple of days had gone by since his divorce was finalized and since our fallout and though I pretended to be okay, I was anything but.
Nights were the worst.
I'd gotten so used to him holding me. Now they were just so lonely and bitter; just like I was. I resented him for not telling what was going on, but he'd pushed me away.
Because the things I thought I wanted…I was wrong. I don't want them anymore. Not with you.
The words echoed in my mind; the irony of them clawing at my insides. Not with me. I wasn't stupid enough to try to fool myself into thinking that I would ever love someone else like I loved him, wasn't stupid enough to open up my heart like that ever again. I just wished I wouldn't have done it in the first place.
His meetings with David had increased for some reason. I asked David about it and he simply said he couldn't say anything because of a confidentiality agreement. As much as those words angered me, I couldn't blame him. It was his job after all and none of my business.
I'd decided to stay with Carter for the time being, clear up the things at the company, hand it over to Kimberly, and get the hell out of Pennsylvania. A beautiful state, but I'd been through so much shit there I was ready to leave and start fresh.
“I can leave, if you want, Evelyn,” he said, breaking the silence that enveloped us. “You can stay here. You shouldn't have to leave.”
“Stay and sleep in the same bed and room you fucked me in? No thank you.” I closed my suitcase, glad that I could already hear the cab pulling up. Nathan tensed at the sound of it, eyes fleeting to the window.
“That's my cue to leave,” I whispered, biting my lip.
I took a deep breath, looking down at the damn bracelet I still wore. My heart constricted. If I was going to let him go, leave him, I had to leave everything that reminded me of him behind, no matter how attached I'd grown.
Unclasping the bracelet I turned around, holding it between my thumb and index fingers, Nathan's eyes revealing never-ending pain.
“Evelyn, what are you doing?” he asked, his voice nothing but a breathy sound.
I took his hand in mine, ignoring the shiver that ran down my spine.
Ignoring the reminder that those hands knew my body very well, that they knew how to comfort me, how to make me lose my mind.
“I'm seizing the day.” The hate-filled words left my lips without much consideration.
He shook his head, holding the bracelet in a closed fist as I walked away, certain that leaving him behind was the best choice.
***
Jenna and I walked throughout campus, talking about the end of the semester and my pending trip. Though she didn't really agree with what I had decided, saying that I needed to take time and think.
That was the problem though.
I was done thinking. Shit never turned out well when I thought and for it I ended up hurt. Or perhaps I just didn't think enough.
Either way, whatever I needed I wouldn't find there.
“How about a night out?” Jenna asked, nudging me with her elbow.
“I don't know, Jen,” I said, shaking my head. “I just want to curl up and sleep.”
“Well, the best way to get over a guy is getting—”
“Under another one. Yeah, Karla texted me the same thing. It's not happening. I don't want to think about that anymore.”
“Then let’s go to the club or something, Evelyn. Girl, you need to get out, try to forget about him if that's your choice, although I still think there's more to the story than he's letting on.”
“If there's more, he should have told me,” I countered quickly. “That's beside the point, Jen. I would have listened, the point is he didn't even try. He had a chance earlier today and made no attempt to tell me anything.”
“Maybe he can't,” she said with a shrug.
I shook my head. “He said hurtful things, Jenna. He hurt me. I don't want to think about him, don't want to be near him, so let’s just not talk about him. Can we do that?”
Jenna raised her hands in self-defense. I knew I was being snappy but there was no other way I could behave. I was defensive with everyone, ready to strike if someone dared hurt me.
“Let's go out. You'll have fun, I promise.”
I sighed, looking over at my friend. “Fine,” I muttered. “Don't make me regret this.”
***
“Are you sure you want to go out?” Carter asked, his arms crossed over his chest. “And I really don't think that dress is appropriate, Evelyn.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, I'm sure. And what's wrong with my dress?”
“It's too revealing.”
Smiling, I glanced over at Carter. My parents may have been parents by blood, but Carter, he was my dad. He actually cared.
“I'll be fine, Carter. Don’t worry. Besides, I'm going with Jenna and some other friends, so I won't be alone.”
He pursed his lips. Though he didn't agree, he didn't say anything else and let me get ready in peace. With the strapless white dress I wore and my hair down in beach waves, I felt confident and ready. I left my make-up natural except for the bright red lipstick I wore, smoothed down my dress, grabbed my phone, and headed out to the living room.
Carter shot me one more disapproving look before waving me off. I knew he worried about me because he cared and that's the one thing that gave me strength in that moment.
“You look hot, girl.” Jenna smiled.
I returned it, not really feeling much of anything. No excitement.
Nada.
I was reminded of her driving skills as she weaved in and out of traffic with ease and no concern, forcing to promise myself to never ever to get in a vehicle with her. She was dangerous.
After a twenty minute drive we finally arrived at the crowded club. We could hear the music playing from the inside loud and deafening. I was about to chicken out.
“I don't think I should be here,” I mumbled.
“You deserve to have fun, Evie. Come on, let’s enjoy the night.”
I sighed and followed behind her, shaking my head with slight disbelief. I was dreading this place a lot. It wasn't as if I hadn't been to a club before it was just that I didn't want to be surrounded by so many people.
The place was full, packed like sardines.
“Come on. I know a guy who can get us drinks.”
Why couldn’t I be twenty-one yet?
We approached the bar and Jenna called over a man. He looked to be in his early thirties; his stubble covered face was quite a sight. He was handsome. Eyes that probably charmed the panties off of any woman he wanted. He grinned when he saw Jenna and grinned even wider when he saw me.
“A couple of drinks, Scotty,” Jenna smiled.
“What do you want, Jenny?”
I snorted at the nickname. Jenna hated when she was called Jenny. Anything for free alcohol, I suppose.
“Two vodkas for my friend and me.”
He smiled and poured the drinks in front of us, every now and then glancing my way. I didn't feel uncomfortable but I recognized the flirty look he gave me. I wasn't interested.
“Jenny's friend, huh? You have a name?”
“Evelyn,” I said, forcing a smile. He set the drink in front of us. “Thanks.”
Jenna downed the drink with one sip, raising her eyebrows so that I'd do the same. When I did, I squeezed my eyes wishing that the liquid would relax the chaotic thoughts racing through my mind.
The man's eyes were on me again, eyebrows furrowed in genuine concern. He leaned over the counter, whispering, “I see what you're trying to do. If I see you drinking too much, I'm not serving you any more alcohol. Understood?”
Smiling genuinely this time, I nodded and followed Jenna out to the dance floor. I felt the liquid slowly relaxing me as it seeped into my system and closed my eyes, starting to dance slowly to the music playing, whatever it was. It didn't matter, I just wanted to get lost in it.
Jenna and I danced together, not missing the glances from a few onlookers. It was nothing provocative, but it was enough to get the attention of a couple of men sitting at a table across from us.
My friend's eyes widened and I laughed, thoroughly amused.
“What's your problem?” I asked, continuing to dance. “You like the attention.”
“Holy shit,” she gasped.
“What?” I followed her gaze to the entrance of the club only to see Nathan walking in, sleeves rolled up and looking as handsome as ever. The shirt clung to the muscles as shoved his hands in his pants. He narrowed his eyes in concentration. He searched the crowd for a mere two seconds before his eyes landed on me, scorching, furious and threatening. I stopped, meeting his gaze with the same intensity.
“I guess I shouldn't have told my dad after all,” Jenna grimaced.
CHAPTER 37
Nathan
It didn't take me long to find her, especially not with the damn dress she wore. It accentuated all her curves and I knew that there was more than one man ogling over her.
I saw the shock all over her face, her beautiful eyes widened and her lips parted with surprise. It was a fucking bad idea to ask David where she was, but the minute I knew she was going out, I knew I had to try to talk to her.
I couldn't tell her the shit that was going on because she'd worry herself senseless for no reason. Even David couldn't figure out what the fuck to do. The betrayal Evelyn would face would be too much. It would truly fucking break her if she knew what her family was capable of doing.
I stood there like an idiot for I don't know how long, and her eyes met mine. They were angry…and so fucking sad. I'd hurt her.
Being a free man didn't matter, not when I was still chained to Hannah in many ways.
Jenna squeezed Evelyn's shoulder gently and she nodded, turning around and walking away.
Evie tried to act tough, like she wasn't in pain, like the wound wasn't raw and still bleeding. I understood it; she'd been through so much in the last few months that it was easier to pretend like this didn't hurt her. Deciding that giving her some room to think was the best option in that moment, I went over to the bar and asked the bartender for a drink.
Soon the one drink turned into three…I rejected a fourth. If I wanted to even try to talk to Evie, I couldn’t be wasted. I needed to make sense.
Suddenly, I felt a finger running down my arm and I flinched.
What the fuck?
A red-haired woman smiled up at me, bright blue eyes looking at me with flirtatious mischief.
“This seat occupied?” she asked with a smile.
It wasn't. “No.”
She tossed her hair back, exposing her delicate shoulders. I laughed humorlessly. She had the wrong fucking idea.
“You here alone?” she asked, biting her lip.
“Not really,” I grit out, pressing my lips together.
I glanced over to the other side of the club where Evelyn stood speaking to Jenna, eyes set in my direction.
She was jealous.
“You know I can make it worth your time.” Her warm breath tickled my ear. Finally, I turned around to face the woman that was so freely offering herself to me.
“How is that?” I raised an eyebrow.
“However you want,” she flirted, batting her long eyelashes.
When I was just about to reply that I wasn't interested, Evelyn walked up to the bar, eyes sparkling. For a second, just for a fucking second, I thought she was heading my way, and she did; she stood next to me, but paid no attention to me.
“Scotty!” she called out with a flirty smile.
I shook my head, pressing my lips together.
“Need something, Evelyn?” he asked, returning the smile. I didn't miss the way his eyes lingered on her cleavage.
Bastard.
My jaw tightened.
“Just another vodka,” she smiled, resting her face in her hands.
“What the hell do you think you're doing?” I hissed, taking hold of her arm. Evelyn raised an eyebrow, looking unaffected.
“I'm getting a drink. You should pay more attention to your date. She looks quite lonely.”
Scotty, or whatever the fuck his name was, set the drink in front of Evie and she downed it, setting the empty glass back on the counter.
“You shouldn't be drinking,” I pointed out.
“And you shouldn't be telling me anything,” she replied nonchalantly. Her gaze flew to the woman next to me and she added, “Enjoy your night and let me enjoy mine.”
With one last glare she left but didn't approach Jenna, she went straight to the dance floor, closing her eyes and trying to get lost in the music.
Furious, I asked for another drink. As if drawn to her, my eyes found her in the middle of the crowded club with no trouble. Her hips swayed and her hands were in her hair…and there was a man behind her. She didn't seem to mind. His hands were on her hips and his lips were near her ear, whispering God knows what.
Nothing worse in the fucking world than watching another man's hands on the woman that's yours.
She was trying to forget, I knew that much but this…shit, whatever she was doing was unbelievable.
Sensing my thoughts, her eyes fluttered open, meeting mine. Her eyes were clouded by lust, anger…and I knew she saw the same in mine.
She knew the look in my eyes.
I saw her exhale before she pushed herself away from the man behind her, leaving him alone on the dance floor as she walked away. Her hand over her fast beating heart, she rushed past me not sparing me a glance and towards the restroom.
Fuck it.
I jumped off the stool and followed behind her. Impulsive, yes. But I needed to try something, anything for her to understand that I had no fucking choice when it came to what I had to do.
When I opened the door to the restroom, she had her eyes closed and she was gripping the counter as if her life depended on it. I placed the lock on the door, watching how she tensed even further. She knew I was there.
I approached her was like I was trying to help a wounded animal. I didn't how she'd react or if she'd attack instead of accepting my help. I stood behind her, watching her crestfallen expression through the mirror and touched her bare arm, hearing her shaky exhale. She shuddered as her eyes opened. My strong, brave woman was so broken.
“Evelyn,” I whispered as I turned her slowly around.
She didn't fight me and it wasn't until we were face to face that I realized how breathless we both were.
There was no going back.
***
Evelyn
He was debating what to do. His gaze landed on my lips and then my eyes, searching for a protest. My name left his lips again as a breathless whisper and I looked at him, eyes pleading. For what I wasn't sure, I just knew that he would know what to do.
No further words needed to be spoken, not when he brushed my hair back, and not as his mouth landed on mine with a passionate kiss. We moaned at the contact, reveling in each other’s taste. His hand traveled to the back of my head, as he slipped his tongue into my mouth and deepened the kiss.
My senses were overrun with emotions. His hands were on my body, his mouth on me. As much as I tried to deny it, I wanted him. I missed him.
I hated him yet loved him with every ounce of my being.
So as he bunched up my dress around my waist and lowered my panties, I wasted no time in undoing his belt and zipper. He lifted me up and my legs wrapped around his waist as he carried me against the wall.
He pushed into me with a groan, stilling and savoring the moment in which our bodies were united once again. Nathan's eyes were on me, full of longing and desire, desire that I was sure was visible in my own. Everything pointed to us being a certified disaster and perhaps this was nothing more than a drunken mistake, but my heart refused to believe that.
It was too real.
Too right.
I moaned softly as he pulled back, then embedded himself back inside me, feeling every inch of him, our connection intensified by our unwavering gazes. In that moment I found it hard to believe that he didn't want me. The soft groans that left his lips told me that he felt at home with me, inside me. So what had gone wrong?
This would only hurt me in the end, I realized that. However, I wanted to be with him, feel him easing my worries and concerns because ironically enough, even though he was the cause of my pain, he was also the only one that could take it away.
His lips latched on to my neck and he ravished me, his thrusts deep and slow, making sure I memorized what he felt like inside me. He didn't realize that I'd never forget it; that I dreamt about being in his arms like that every night, wished for him every day.
