In the beginning, p.96
In The Beginning, page 96
They were both single.
Very much alive.
They could make a nice couple.
She'd been alone for years, caring for me and dealing with the family problems on her own. Nana deserved to be happy, loved. I knew she didn't get much of that from my mom so if someone would give it to her, I'd be happy.
My gaze shifted between both of them and I smiled, a plan already forming in my hardworking brain. Maybe I could get them to go to the movies together or go out for a walk in the park, something to get them together and get to know each other better. I wanted to play cupid.
“Stop it.”
“Huh?”
“You’re planning, darling, stop it.” Nana scolded me while Carter sat back and chuckled.
“I'm telling you, Anne. She's the one to fear. Evelyn will take the world by storm.”
I narrowed my eyes at both of them, preparing my strike. “So, have either of you ever like, considered being together or something?”
“Oh honey,” Nana said with a small smile. “Carter and I have been 'like together' for years.”
I nearly spit out my coffee. “What?”
“Why the hell do you think I'm here this early?” Carter asked with a snort. Nana laughed, shaking her head.
How had I not seen this before? I knew they were friends, very close friends but never did I imagine there was anything more between them.
“Why don't we talk about you and that boy, Nathan?” Carter asked pointedly, curiosity clear in his voice.
“Leave the girl alone,” Nana said. “They know what they're doing.”
“Just watching out for the kids,” Carter said. “I don't want either of them to end up hurt.”
“Do you think we'll end up hurt?” I asked.
Both of them looked at each other before Nana took a seat next to me, her hand on my knee. Her eyes filled with tenderness, looking at me like a mother would their daughter.
“Life has an interesting way of bringing people together, Evie. It may be old age, but I think your and Nathan's story is only beginning, and I for one can't wait to see it flourish like I know it will.”
“Really?”
She nodded, eyes bright with love. “Yes, dear.”
I smiled and stood up, pressing a kiss to her cheek before glancing back at Carter. “And you? What do you think?”
I cared about his opinion just as much. They were both the closest parental figures I had; disappointing them was not an option.
“You have all my support,” Carter finally said.
With newfound motivation, I leaned down and kissed his cheek as well, earning a chuckle from him. I ran towards the door, eager to see Nathan.
“I'll be back tomorrow morning, Nana. We can go out for breakfast, yeah?”
Nana waved me off and I blew her a kiss before I jogged back to the house. If I had any luck, Nate would be at home still and I'd be able to catch him before he left to the university. Though his confession wasn't something I liked to hear, he’d been honest and that was all that mattered. I cared about him.
I had my answer.
A smile formed on my lips when I saw him walking out of the house, closing the door behind him. The sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled back as always, his hair an organized mess. He frowned when he saw me increase my speed but I didn't care. I wanted him to know my answer already.
I jumped on him, forcing him to drop his suitcase as his arms held on to my thighs, my legs wrapping around his waist. I kissed him.
I didn't care if one of the nosy neighbors saw. Nate didn't either. He kissed me back fervently, his tongue grazing my lips as it sought out my own. We were already neck deep in whatever the hell this was and his marriage was over before it even started.
“What was that for?” Nathan asked breathlessly.
“I want to try this out,” I replied with a smile. “I want to be with you, Nate.”
His gaze brightened, his grip on me tightening with the intensity of his happiness. Our fucked up situation didn't matter; the way he looked at me told me that this was the right choice. The beginning of our story.
“Good,” he smiled. “I want to try this too, Evie.”
I grinned as he lowered me to the ground, a smirk on his handsome face. “I have to go but I'll see you tonight?”
“Yeah,” I said.
He kissed me again, lingering as if he didn't want to leave.
All I wanted was for time to go by quickly but for now, I would take what I could get.
CHAPTER 16
Evelyn
Some mornings go better than others. After spending Friday night talking with Nathan, hearing more of a backstory in regards to his past I felt better. It was stupid, but I trusted him. I could feel the sincerity shine through his words.
I just hoped my heart wasn't wrong.
With it being early, I picked up my phone and called Nana, reminding her that I would be there later. She picked up immediately and I could almost picture that smile on her face as she spoke.
I got in the shower, making sure to take extra care of my very unruly hair. It was always so difficult to control but I hoped that today it would cooperate.
Finally, I got dressed, moussed up my hair and pinned a section back so it wouldn't all be in my face. I opted not to wear makeup except for a bit of mascara and a nude lipstick, just enough to not look like I was still so tired.
As I made my way downstairs, I heard the hushed voices of Hannah and Nathan. It didn't take a genius to realize that they were arguing again. They had another counseling session that afternoon, according to what Nate had told me, and he didn't want to go. Either way, my mind fleeted to Nana and how happy she'd be if we all joined her for breakfast. Against my better judgment, I cleared my throat, interrupting the discussion that only seemed to be getting worse.
“What?” Hannah hissed, turning in my direction.
“Goddamn,” Nathan said, frustrated. “What your sister means is, good morning.”
“I'm used to it,” I replied with a small smile. He returned it while Hannah simply looked at me irritated.
“What do you want, Evie?”
“I'm going out for breakfast with Nana and was wondering if you both wanted to join.” Nathan raised his eyebrows in surprise. “I'm sure Nan would love to have us all there,” I said to Hannah.
“I have a meeting at eleven so…”
“Hannah, you can take an hour out of your day to eat with your grandmother and your sister,” Nathan said, rolling his eyes.
“Fine but we need to finish talking first,” Hannah said, directed at Nathan.
“Okay,” I said, glancing at my sister. “I'm sure Nana will appreciate it, Han. Thank you.”
She didn't reply so I turned around and walked away, leaving the still married couple to argue in peace. I took a cab to Nana's, hoping that Nathan and Hannah wouldn't be too late since my grandma liked to eat early. It was a beautiful day though, and I took the chance to admire the families gathered playing outside with their kids. It was always a lovely scene.
When I finally arrived I paid the cab driver and stepped out, rushing over to the house. Eager to get the day started, I took out the key, unlocking the door and walked in.
The smell of coffee invaded my nostrils. She’d likely been about to have her morning coffee. I'd arrived right on time. I turned off the stove, pouring it in her favorite mug before going to her bedroom. The bed was empty, so I knocked on the en-suite restroom, opening after no answer.
“Nana, surprise,” I said with a smile. “Nate and Hannah are going with us too.”
Still, no answer.
I went over to the bedroom window, noticing that she didn't draw the blinds, which was odd for her. I tripped.
“What the—”
The mug fell from my hands, just like my stomach dropped at the sight. I didn't even feel the burn of the coffee that splashed on me.
Nana was lying unnaturally on the floor, eyes wide open, not moving at all. Not even the typical up and down of when someone is breathing.
I knelt down beside her, shaking her a little bit, unable to form any words. She wasn't cold…but she wasn't warm.
“N-Nana? This isn't funny,” I choked out, my voice trembling and desperate.
I ran my hand through her hair, cupping her cheek with a shaky exhale.
No no no no.
I talked to her like an idiot, expecting an answer, or perhaps not able to process what the hell was going on. It couldn't be possible; I'd just spoken to her only an hour ago. She had been fine, happy.
CPR. CPR. CPR.
“I remember. I need to do CPR,” I reminded myself, pushing my sleeves up and leaning over her frail body. I tried to steady my trembling hands, placing them over her breastbone and began compressions, just like I had learned years ago.
Until I heard a crack.
I whimpered without stopping and closed my eyes, not wanting to see hers so lifeless. CPR saved lives, didn't it? Maybe if I didn't stop until Nathan arrived…maybe if I just kept going she'd start breathing again.
Pushing through my agonizing despair, I continued, even when I was starting to grow tired. Nana had to be okay, she was the only sane one in the family. We couldn't lose her. I wasn't sure how much time went by when I heard Nathan's voice filling the house. Though I wanted to speak, no sound left my throat.
“Anne? Has Evie called you? Han will be here in a minute, we're going out for—oh shit!” He abruptly stopped speaking and I knew he was watching us.
“I can't stop,” I said when I sensed his presence in the room. I didn't bother looking up. “I haven't called 911 yet, can you do that?”
“Shit,” Nathan breathed again. I glanced up, a frown on my face when I saw him still staring down at us. He shook his head, grey eyes full of sadness before kneeling down next to me. “Let me do it,” he murmured.
“If…If…I stop, she dies,” I replied.
Nathan grimaced, taking out his phone as he began to dial. I faintly heard him talking to the operator, his eyes set on me and the body. When he asked how long I'd been doing CPR, I didn't know what to respond. I hadn't paid attention. All I knew was that I wasn't going to stop, not until she started breathing again.
“Where's Han?”
“She should be on her way,” Nathan replied, placing the phone on speaker and then his hands over mine. The warmth of his touch did little to ease the coldness that had settled in my heart, but when he leaned down, pressing a kiss on my forehead, another whimper left my lips. “Let me, okay? It'll be more effective, you're tired already. We need to keep a steady rhythm. Let me help.”
I nodded numbly, moving my hands from under his but remaining on my knees next to him.
“I…I think I broke her ribs,” I stated, wincing at the thought of the horrible sound. “Do you think she'll be mad at me? I didn't mean to.”
The pain that flashed through Nathan's eyes was gone almost as fast as it was there. “I'm sure she won't be mad.”
I nodded, turning towards the sound of sirens that I suddenly heard. I ran over to the door with shaking legs, ready to direct the paramedics to Nana's room. I didn't get the chance to though, as they rushed in following Nathan's voice.
Standing by the doorway I saw how the paramedics spoke to Nathan who despite the circumstances remained calm. They continued CPR but both paramedics looked defeated. They lifted her up, an oxygen mask on her face, which had only grown paler.
I tried to follow behind them, trying to get to Nana as she got wheeled into the back of the ambulance, but Nathan pulled me back, his arm going around my waist. As much as I tried to free myself from his hold, he was stronger.
“She's not dead,” I breathed, my voice breaking at the end. She couldn't be.
I felt my knees buckle as I watched the ambulance begin to drive away, my heart pounding, my head a mess.
A loud scream invaded the room, the sound startling to my ears. It wasn't until Nathan turned me around, cradling my face in his hands that I realized it had come from me. He held me tight, his arms holding me up when I felt like I was about to fall.
Crushing devastation took over every bit of my body, grief so consuming that I didn't feel like myself anymore, because I knew, I knew nothing would be the same. Violent sobs left my throat as Nathan held me close to him, his arms wrapped around me like a cocoon. It had to be a bad dream.
All the moments I'd lived with Nana. All the memories that we would never make raced through my overwhelmed mind. She couldn't be gone, she couldn't have left us alone.
“I know, Evie,” he said softly, his lips pressed at the top of my head. “I know it hurts. It's going to be okay.”
“It's not,” I sobbed.
Knowing that it was true, Nathan didn't say anything. He just held me against his chest while I squeezed my eyes shut to try to block out the sight of her laying there.
“She was fine, Nathan. What happened? What did we miss?” The words came out between heavy crying; I didn't know how he could even understand what I was saying but he did. He understood perfectly what I meant.
I felt his thumb tilting up my chin, his eyes boring into mine with my same grief. “Let's go to the hospital. We’ll know more there,” he said, his thumb wiping away my tears. “You have to be strong. She wouldn't like to see you like this.” Nathan sighed, his hand going down to my neck, holding me in place so that I wouldn't lower my gaze. “It's breaking me to see you like this.”
It was brief, I could barely register it happening but Nathan leaned down, his lips touching mine in the most heart-wrenching kiss I'd ever received.
My brain kept telling me to stop him, that it was wrong…I didn't. Instead, I wrapped my arms around him, letting myself be comforted by his lips and touch.
It was tender and sweet; his hands caressing my face while our lips moved together.
“It's okay,” he tried to comfort, breaking the kiss. “Everything will be okay.”
I nodded even though I didn't believe him. In the distance I heard a car pulling up, the noise letting me know that my sister arrived. Not caring, I leaned further into Nate's embrace. I'd take the comfort because once my sister knew, his duty would be to comfort her.
The world around me was crumbling and I didn't know how to hold myself up.
CHAPTER 17
Evelyn
“Stroke symptoms typically include dizziness, difficulty speaking, numbness on one side of the body,” the doctor explained. He'd been explaining to us for the past ten minutes my grandmother's condition. I kept zoning out until he said the last part.
“Trouble speaking?” I asked, my voice sore from the crying all the way to the hospital.
“Yes. In your grandmother's case, her stroke was major.”
I shuddered, remembering the brief conversation I'd had with Nana that morning. She'd mentioned that she felt odd, but she seemed happy. However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that she had sounded different. I took a seat in the cold, hard chair in the waiting room while the doctor continued speaking to Hannah and Nathan. Carter walked up to me, placing a hand over my shoulder.
“…brain has swollen and we can do surgery to attempt to correct it but…the ventilator is breathing for her and at this point, it is best for her medical power of attorney to step in, make a decision, unless she has a living will. Does anyone know if she has either of those?”
There was silence until I heard Hannah speak up. Her voice was so business-like. Emotionless. I couldn't believe it. Nana was lying on a bed and she didn't seem to care.
“I've called my mom and dad, maybe they know.”
Carter cleared his throat and I looked up, his sad eyes glancing over at Nathan. He nodded before addressing the doctor once again.
“Give us a few hours before the rest of the family arrives so we can make a decision,” Nate said.
The doctor nodded.
“Can we see her?” I asked softly.
It took a bit of convincing, but about half an hour later I was walking into the room in which Nana rested. There were tubes everywhere and she was so pale she didn't even look like herself. I crossed my arms over my chest. The room felt cold, lifeless.
“Here,” the nurse said, pushing a chair up next to the bed. “Take a seat. Only two people can be in here, okay?”
I nodded, giving her a small smile. My parents would be at the hospital in an hour or so and though typically I would dread their visit, I needed my mom. I needed a hug. I needed my dad to comfort me.
The sun outside still shone bright but everything in me, surrounding me, was darkness. There was no light at the end of the tunnel, no ray of sunshine in the middle of the storm. It was the type of pain that was all-consuming. She had been fine.
Placing my hand over hers, I sighed, kissing it.
“Nana, you can't leave,” I begged. “I just came back…you can't leave.” I sniffled, trying my best not to cry. I had heard that people in comas or in states like this could sometimes hear what you told them. If it was true, I didn't want her remembering me crying. She should wake up and be proud of me for remaining strong. I'd be strong for her. Hell, I'd leave the house and move in with her as soon as she woke up because she would wake up. She had to. “Please Nana, get better and we'll spend every day together, I promise. Just wake up, please.”
“You know you're the best example I have. The family is barely holding together. If you go…if you leave, it'll all fall apart. I need your advice, Nana. Especially with everything going on so please, wake up.”
My resolve was breaking so I stayed quiet, laying my head on the hospital bed, holding her hand tightly. She wasn't gone but I felt like she wasn't there anymore. The essence of her had disappeared. It shouldn't have, the monitor above me told me that her heart was still beating but I couldn't feel her.
