In the beginning, p.87
In The Beginning, page 87
He kissed me again. I couldn’t reject him. I was weak against his words. They were words that I wanted to hear…that I desperately needed, so I hung on even when I knew I shouldn’t.
I couldn’t push him away. I pulled him toward me, kissing him back with the same fervor. We kissed away all the pain as our hearts came together as one, the pull between us too strong to fight.
This intangible connection…I felt it deep inside my soul.
“I’m not giving up on you, Ayla. So, don’t give up on us either,” he murmured before claiming my lips again.
And in this very moment, I was thankful that I had gotten in his car.
For he had restored my shattered heart and broken soul.
Alessio had breathed new life into me.
Chapter 49
Ayla
I was walking out of my room when I saw Alessio limping up the stairs, his face and hands bloodied. “Alessio!” I exclaimed in panic.
He grimaced. “Ayla, I thought you were downstairs,” he muttered, his voice laced with pain.
“I was in my room. I was headed downstairs now to help Lena and Maddie with dinner,” I said. Bringing a hand up, I was about to touch his face but then stopped, scared that I would hurt him further. “What happened?” I asked worriedly.
“Nothing. I was just sparring with Viktor and Nikolay.” He flicked his wrist and shrugged his shoulder nonchalantly, as if it didn’t matter.
“Sparring? You are bloody and hurt. What type of sparring is that?” I took his hand and pulled him toward his room. “I’ll clean your wounds.”
“No. It’s okay. You have to help Lena. I’ll do it.” He tried to pull his hand away but I tightened my fingers. When he hissed in pain, I quickly let go.
“You are hurt, Alessio. Let me help,” I said, my chest aching at seeing him in pain. He smiled and bent down, placing a quick kiss on my lips.
“I’m fine. Really. It just looks bad because I’m not cleaned up. I’m not even that hurt.”
“But…”
He cut me off with another kiss. “Ayla. Go. Stop worrying so much.”
He gave me a wink and walked into his room, closing the door behind him.
Most of the day was spent with Alessio. We ate breakfast together in my room and then went to the creek. After our confessions this morning, we didn’t talk about it again.
I thought I could let him go, but I couldn’t.
I just hoped that he wouldn’t hate me when he learned my whole truth.
After tying my apron around my waist, I strode out of my room but stopped when I saw Viktor and Nikolay standing in front of my doorway, both of their expressions unreadable. They were clean compared to Alessio but I could see the bruises on their faces and hands.
“Can I help you?” I asked nervously.
Nikolay stayed quiet, so Viktor replied. “No. We just wanted to see how you were doing.”
Confused, I played with the hem of my dress. “I’m doing good.”
We stared at each other in tense silence and then he cleared his throat. “Good. We heard you weren’t doing so well this morning. It’s good to see you smiling again.”
I took a sharp intake of breath at his words and then nodded. “Thank you.”
Just then his phone rang and he answered the call. “Yeah?” He listened for a moment, his face growing frustrated. “Okay. Clean up the mess before the police comes.”
“Was that Phoenix?” Nikolay asked when Viktor hung up.
He nodded. “Yeah. There’s a mess at the club. I’m going to check it out. Phoenix is cleaning up.”
“I’m coming,” Nikolay said.
Viktor chuckled and then shook his head. “Let the boy on his own a little. I think he can handle it without you being a mother hen.”
Mother hen? Nikolay?
I hid my laugh with a cough.
“I’m not a fucking mother hen,” Nikolay growled, glaring at Viktor before sending me a glare of his own. My laughter quickly died but the smile was still there.
“Then don’t act like one.” Viktor laughed, quickly walking away.
“Fuck you.”
Nikolay rubbed his face, making a frustrating sound.
“Is Viktor always like this?” I asked.
“Annoying as fuck? Yes,” he replied.
“I think he is funny,” I said with a shrug.
“Don’t ever say that to him. He’ll never stop then.”
This time I let out a laugh, while shaking my head.
I saw his expression soften and then he nodded. “It’s good to see you like this.”
I ducked my head shyly and mumbled a quick thank you.
We were both silent and from the corner of my eye, I saw him lean against the wall beside my door. Nikolay sighed and then cleared his throat. “After the incident in the bathroom, we had a few guesses but never asked because we didn’t want to push you,” he said. “I know what happened.”
“I—”
“I’m not telling you this to make you feel ashamed. I’m telling you this because I want you to know that no one would think of you any different just because of what happened to you. We all have a past here. All of us have secrets so we wouldn’t judge you. One thing you would find here is that no one is ever going to judge you. We are all fucked up, you know.”
His words brought tears to my eyes and I quickly blinked them away. Nikolay proved me wrong every time. I remembered the first time I met him. He was so scary, mean, and rude. He appeared heartless, ruthless, and emotionless. Just like Alessio.
“Especially Alessio,” he continued. “He is a good man.”
“Did Alessio tell you?” I whispered.
“No. He didn’t have to. When he came to the gym and sparred with us, his actions were enough to let us know.”
Swiping the tears that had fell down, I looked down at my feet. “Why do you guys fight like this?”
“Ayla, we kill people. We are part of a Bratva, feared by everyone. Sometimes, when we can’t spill the blood of whom we want, we have to take out the anger somewhere else.”
“Oh,” I murmured.
“Right. I will leave you to your work now,” he said, pushing away from the wall.
“Wait,” I called. He turned around and faced me, his face impassive as always. “You said Alessio was a good man…” Walking over to him, I placed a hand over his heart. “You are a good man too.”
His breath caught in his throat, but he stayed silent.
“I know the difference between someone who is bad and who is good. And you…you are good. You care even though you try to hide it,” I said.
Nikolay was a man who hid behind a mask of anger, just like Alessio. But deep inside, they all cared.
I brought my hand up and placed it on his cheek, right over the scar. He flinched but didn’t move away. “You hide behind your scars. You use them as a barrier, thinking that they would keep people away. It worked, didn’t it?”
“Ayla,” he said, his voice filled with pain.
“You think they’re ugly. You think they represent a weakness. But they don’t. Your scars represent your strength,” I said, Maddie’s words rolled off my tongue. I hoped that they would have the same effect on Nikolay as they had on me.
And they did. I saw his eyes soften the slightest bit and he cleared his throat again. “You have a kind heart, Ayla.”
I smiled and then let out a small laugh, rubbing a finger over his scar. “You know…your scars don’t make you ugly…they make you look…” I paused for a moment, trying to think of the word that Maddie used to describe Nikolay. When it finally came to mind, I quickly said it. “Sexy.”
His eyes widened in shock.
Did I just say that?
I pulled my hand away from Nikolay’s face and took a step backward. He raised an eyebrow at me.
“That was Maddie—”
“So, you don’t think I’m sexy?”
“What? No. You are sexy. Wait, no, I mean your scars don’t make you look ugly. They are nice. I mean, you look good with them. Yeah…” I stumbled over my words, rambling as I tried to fix what I said but instead made it worse.
Snapping my mouth shut, I stared at Nikolay mutely. The right corner of his lips twitched in the slightest bit but it looked painful, as if he was having trouble lifting his lips in a smile.
The scar ran down to his lips and I wondered if it was because of it that he couldn’t smile.
“Just don’t tell Alessio that you called me sexy,” he teased, his eyes shining with mischievously.
“Right. I should get to work. I’ve wasted enough time,” I said.
“Yeah. Go ahead.” Nikolay moved out of my way and I quickly walked away.
As I walked downstairs, I had a smile on my face.
I had just realized I was surrounded with so much love.
Chapter 50
Nikolay
As I watched Ayla walk away, I shook my head. She was too innocent. Too kind and sweet to live in this world. She shouldn’t be here.
But Alessio had claimed her. Boss was already too deep in to let her go now. He cared too much.
He loved too much, even if he didn’t see it or realize it yet, it was there. In his eyes.
Love shouldn’t exist in this life. It was too dangerous. We would only get burned in the end. We couldn’t have any weaknesses.
That was Alessio’s rule.
No love. No weakness.
But Ayla was now Alessio’s weakness.
As she faded from my view, I leaned against the wall again. She said I was a good man. So gullible.
My phone rang in my pocket and I answered the call without looking at the caller ID.
“I need to see you now,” a demanding voice said.
“Okay,” I replied before hanging up.
Ayla was wrong.
I wasn’t a good man. I had done horrible things and I didn’t even feel guilty about them.
I was a coldblooded killer. Heartless. Ruthless. A betrayer.
Striding into Alessio’s office, I found him sitting behind his desk. He looked up when I came in, and nodded.
“I need to take care of some things.”
Alessio stared at me for a few seconds, his gaze penetrating. “Okay,” he said. I turned around, but before I could walk out, his voice stopped me. “You should clean your hand.”
I looked down at my fist and saw the bloodied knuckles. The same fist that I had just punched into the wall before coming into his office.
“I will,” I replied, my voice emotionless.
Closing the door behind me, I went to my room and quickly changed my clothes. Wearing black jeans and a black sweater, I walked out of the estate and got into my car.
When I arrived at my destination, I pulled my hood over my head, hiding most of my face as I stepped out of the car. Two men greeted me. “He is waiting for you in his office.”
Without answering, I walked into the club. The door to his office was already open, waiting for my arrival. Walking inside, I closed the door and crossed my arms over my chest, waiting for the man to start.
“Nikolay,” he said roughly.
Staring into his brown eyes, I nodded in his direction. “Alberto.”
About the Author
Lylah James uses all her spare time to write. If she is not catching up on sleep, working or writing—she can be found with her nose buried in a good romance book, preferably with a hot alpha male.
Writing is her passion. The voices in her head won’t stop, and she believes they deserve to be heard and read. Lylah James writes about drool worthy and total alpha males, with strong and sweet heroines. She makes her readers cry—sob their eyes out, swoon, curse, rage, and fall in love. Mostly known as the Queen of cliffhanger and the #evilauthorwithablacksoul, she likes to break her readers’ hearts and then mend them again.
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CHAPTER 1
Evelyn
How do you stay different?
That's the question I asked myself every single day because I looked around me and Lord knows, I wanted to be nothing like the people surrounding me. Pretentious. Selfish. Greedy.
I've always wanted to be me.
So as I stared at the people surrounding me in first class; I decided I wasn't going to sit around with the snobby people. I stood up with a smile, catching the pilot off guard
“Miss Carson, we're about to take off. Could you take a seat? Or is there any way we can help?” The question was asked with a dazzling smile. Would he have been so polite if I had been in economy class?
Let's experiment.
“Oh, yes. I can take a seat. Just excuse me for a moment, will you?” I smiled at him as well and he nodded. He appeared willing to do whatever I asked so long as my dad kept doing business with this company.
Kiss ass.
I stood up and headed back to economy class where I saw everyone from families to little kids that were impatient to get off the airplane and older people conversing. My gaze fell on a small family, what I assumed to be a couple with their baby, perhaps four months old. They were the ones who would be taking my place. I glanced back where a flight attendant and the pilot waited, shaking their heads at the same thing I somehow always managed to pull off.
“Excuse me,” I said with a small smile. “Can I have your seats?”
The woman seemed confused, searching for a hint as to what to do from her husband.
“I'm sorry, but we paid for these seats,” the man replied with a frown.
“Oh,” I muttered. “I'm sorry. I don't think I explained myself. I always assume people know what I'm trying to say.”
It's true. My brain has never been able to make the connections clear.
“I meant, would you like to sit in first class? I'll take your seat.”
The pair widened their eyes, disbelief etched on both their faces. This was the best part of it all—watching how someone else's face changed from surprise to pure happiness.
“I'm sorry…we can't afford first class.” The woman's face fell as if there was something wrong with not being able to afford it.
“Oh, that won’t be an issue. It's covered.”
The pilot approached me as a reminder that I only had one seat in first class.
“I'm sure if I pull out my credit card and pay for the other seat, you won't have anything negative to say now, will you?” I glared at him.
He nodded, walking away. Interesting, the things money can do.
“Go on,” I told them. “Have fun and relax a bit. Order whatever you want. A glass of wine, food…it’s all covered.”
The family appeared to be on the verge of tears; my heart was full. Having money to spare, I'd seen the way people held on to it as if it's their saving grace. I wanted to be the furthest thing from that. I knew money didn’t mean a single thing, not if you were lonely. Not if you didn’t have a home.
I took the seat by the window and let the pilot know my tantrum was over.
Take off started and I made sure to keep my eyes open, looking down, taking in the beautiful view of the ground disappearing as we vanished into the clouds.
Finally, I sighed, dreading what awaited upon my return back in Pennsylvania. I wasn't looking forward to it. My family there wasn't very family-like. No one had the same interests as me, they were all too busy pretending to be happy in their fancy ass houses and their fancy ass cars.
Meanwhile, their children were out using drugs and instead of getting them into rehab, they pretended to know nothing so their “reputation” wouldn't be ruined. Men were out cheating on their wives with their secretaries, or whoever was the first to bat their eyelashes at them, and the women were too busy getting their nails done to give a damn.
Or they were too busy working on building a company they wouldn't be able to take to the grave when they died, like my sister.
It had been too easy for her to ship me off to Florida when I was sixteen; buy me an apartment instead of pretending to care about me. I was too much of a “distraction” for her.
Hannah took after my parents; all work, no play. Work, work, work. And so long as their oldest daughter built up their wonderful company, little Evelyn could go wherever she wanted.
I knew I'd be a burden as soon as I stepped foot in that airport. I was much too different from them. They would never understand the way I viewed life, nor my career choice or lack of thereof, or why I dressed the way that I dressed and not like the proper young woman they wanted me to be. I was just starting out my life. I refused to be something I wasn’t.
There were two people who stood out as different in my family. First, Nana; the matriarch, the one person that could bring us together despite our differences, the one that actually cared about human beings rather than material possessions. She was the only one who supported my decision not to be part of the family’s business.
And then there was Nathan, my sister's husband. Polar opposites. My sister was a control freak while he was just…him. My dad had tried to get him to work in the company and he had refused, not wanting to feel like he hadn't earned his place there. Besides, his interests were different. He cared more about the arts and taught in the art department at Pennsylvania State University, the same college I'd be attending.
I hoped my sister hadn't changed him with her frivolous ways and that he remained the same friendly man full of integrity I had met before.
