Some nights, p.11
Some Nights, page 11
“I’m sure you look fuckable as always.”
She laughs a little. “I assure you I do not.”
She sounds more like herself now and I’m shocked by the ease that brings me. “I should be the judge of that.”
“No. But I would still love to hear what you would do if you were here.”
It shouldn’t be so easy for me to tell her. “I would hold you and kiss you until you were smiling and that beautiful dot in the middle of your mouth couldn’t stretch any wider. Then I would take you to a greasy diner to celebrate.”
She’s silent for a few seconds.
“You’re sweet.” Her smile is infused in her voice.
“I’m not that sweet.” I lower my voice so no one else can hear me. “I guess I should come clean and mention how I would also fuck you all night and make you come until you can’t take it anymore.”
She sighs. “I wish you were here.”
“Oh, I see. You just want me for the orgasms.”
She chuckles. “Not just for those. When can you come visit?”
I wish I could drop everything and go right now. “I work this weekend but what about next? For the Fourth of July?”
“Yes, I can’t wait.” Her voice is light and happy. “We have to plan it.”
I’m smiling too. I’ve been looking forward to visiting her. I haven’t made it there, despite the many times I wanted to be there for her because we agreed to be discreet in New York until her divorce was final. She didn’t want to give her ex-husband more ammunition.
But that fucker was out of her life now.
Saona
* * *
My makeup is fresh but my eyes are still red and swollen from all the crying. Even if I don’t look it, I leave the bathroom in a much better state. All because of Jax.
I’m still smiling as I head down the steps to meet my sister who’s texted me three times. Sierra meets me halfway up. She’s not smiling. I probably worried her when I didn’t come down right away. She hugs me tight. “It’s over, Manita. I’m so proud of you. You did it.”
“I know. I was so afraid the judge was going to postpone this again but he didn’t.” I pull back. “You have to come with me to go pick out what we want from the house. Can you call Pedro and ask him to come with us?”
Sierra nods. “Of course. He’ll be glad to. He thinks David is a dog. Listen, I want you to keep that smile on your face, no matter what.”
My shoulder muscles tense. “What’s wrong?”
My sister presses her hands to her temples like she has a headache. “Mom is here.”
“It’s fine. This wasn’t a secret or anything. She was going to find out about the outcome no matter what.”
Sierra shakes her head, like I’m not understanding what she’s saying. “She came with Mrs. Peña and David’s sister.”
My stomach rolls and the good vibes are now replaced by an icky bitterness. I have so many questions but I ask the dumbest one. “What is her deal?”
But I don’t let my sister answer me. I stroll past her and down the steps. Sierra catches my arm four steps later.
“Saona, don’t let her ruin this moment for you. Promise me she’s not going to mess with your happiness.”
I frown at her. “She’s my mother. That should mean something to her.”
“I don’t disagree but you know how she is. She’s gotten in her head that you and David belong together and that you need to save your marriage.”
My body is heated now and my breathing quickens. I keep heading down the steps, almost dragging my sister since she’s not letting go. We make it to the first floor and even though Sierra just told me she was there, seeing my mom with her hand on David’s shoulder is like a fist to the gut.
I cross the distance fast and I don’t even know what I’m going to say. “Mom.”
She turns around slow and when her gaze lands on me, she lets out a small sigh. The kind of sigh she used to let out when I came home with a scrape or when I would ask how come we couldn’t stay with Papi longer. Her eyes carry so much disappointment and I don’t miss the tightening on David’s mom’s lips or the smirk from his sister.
“Saona.”
That’s it? All she’s got to say is my name? “What are you doing here?”
“With them,” finish the fucking sentence Saona.
But I don’t. Partly because I don’t want to cause more drama but I’m still staring at them.
“I wanted to give you both my support.”
I don’t scoff. She would consider it disrespectful. No matter how irate I am right now I can’t disrespect my mother.
“You came to support me? That’s funny because I don’t see you on my side. I was upstairs crying my eyes out and you’re here with your hand on my ex-husband’s shoulder.”
I flick the word ex like a whip, louder than the others, and let it crack even if it turns heads around.
“If you were crying your eyes out, it’s ‘cause you know how wrong you were for all of this,” David’s sister mutters.
I ignore her but Sierra steps up. “You need to shut the fuck up before I do it for you.”
“Sierra, watch your mouth. I didn’t raise cueros.”
“It’s funny how the word cueros—hoes—only applies to women. Because this one…” I wave my hand in the direction of David. “Is the one that was passing his dick around and giving it to every skank. But here you are, patting his shoulder but chastising my sister for cussing.”
My mother’s hand clamps on my wrist. “What has gotten into you and your sister? You’re behaving like street trash.”
I pull my hand back from her grasp and step away from her. “He cheated on me for six years. He took advantage of me. I was supporting his dead-beat ass and I’m the one behaving like trash?”
“A lay on the street is no reason to throw away a marriage blessed by God. You can work this out. You’re still married in the eyes of the church. All you have to do is give him a chance.”
“You think I should be turning the other cheek? Do I have that right?” I laugh. “Don’t think so. I’m not married to this piece of shit. And you need to rethink your priorities and who your children really are.”
I turn on my heel and stalk away. My heart is pounding and the knot in my throat is rising higher. I’m not going to cry. I’m not giving them the satisfaction to see they’ve broken me yet again. I hear her call my name but I don’t turn. Sierra takes a hold of my arm and guides me to the parking garage. I’m gasping for air when I get to the car.
“Saona, breathe. It’s going to be okay. I promise.”
“How can it? You saw that. She’s there standing by him. And she wonders why she has to keep calling us so we will go spend time with her. How could she, Sierra? He hurt me and used me and she’s standing by him.”
“You’re free from that asshole. It’s over. And Mom will come around. She knows better than to stay on your bad side.”
But it’s not over.
David’s still messing with me. I got the divorce I wanted so badly but he kept my mother.
15
Jax
* * *
“Remember this weekend I’ll be in New York. Are you sure you don’t need anything?”
I slide the fiber gasket, back-up flange, and mounting ring unto the underside of the flange. I need to get this garbage disposal installed tonight so I can get it out of my way.
“You have to bring Saona a present, Jackson. Those monogrammed towels she got you for the powder room are exquisite and the wine glasses so beautiful. She’s got great taste.”
I stop tightening the screws and turn my face closer to the phone. I’ve been thinking of getting her a little present. She’s been so sad about her mom. She swears my upcoming visit will do her a world of good but I still wish I could do more to cheer her up. I’m just stumped as to what.
“Do you have any ideas for me? All her gifts are wonderful but she’s so hard to buy something for. I mean, there’s nothing I can give her that she can’t buy for herself.”
My mother sighs. “Jackson, a good woman doesn’t care that she can buy something. She cares that you thought of her.”
I’m not sure I believe her. Saona loves shopping, though last time the only shopping she did was at the farmers’ market where she bought flowers for the house. “So, help me out. What do I get her?”
“Iris, Jackson wants to know what he should get his girl as a gift.”
His girl. My girl. Oh God.
“Mom…”
“Get her some original but custom jewelry, Jackson. Something not too expensive but that no one else has. She will love that.” Aunt Iris’ voice comes clear through the line and I know my mom put me on speaker phone.
“There’s that store in the Inner Harbor that sells stuff from all over the world. You should go there, Jackson. There’s some pretty stuff in there. See if anything makes you think of her and get it. She’s going to love it.”
I can do that. “I’ll go check it out—”
The knock on the door stops me mid-sentence. I frown. I’m not expecting anyone. “Mom, Aunt Iris, I’ll have to call you back. Someone’s at the door. Love you and thank you.”
I slide from under the sink and walk to the front door while still wiping my hands with a paper towel. Whoever it is needs to leave quickly because I need to finish the garbage disposal and head to bed early. I want to get to work earlier tomorrow so I can check out that store Mom recommended before I start working at the bar.
I look over the middle glass panel on the top of the door. Whoever’s outside can’t see me but I can see clearly into my front yard. And I do. And I freeze as the sudden cold hits me right in the stomach. Her blonde hair has gotten longer and her face rounder but it’s definitely Josie at my front door. What the hell is she doing here?
I flip the lock on the deadbolt and open the door.
“Jax,” she smiles.
“Josie.”
“Can I come in?” She pats her stomach.
Jesus, this woman doesn’t change. I have to step aside and let her in because I’m not the kind of asshole that would slam the door in a pregnant woman’s face.
She strolls past me into the living room area, though I don’t want her to get past the foyer. Her gaze goes everywhere. It’s on the finished floors, the freshly-painted walls, the chandelier Saona finagled, as a gift for purchase, from Dan when I bought the kitchen cabinets. Josie walks to the powder room and gasps and then moves to the kitchen.
When Saona did the same thing months ago, I waited with baited breath and anticipation to her reaction. Josie turns rounded eyes on me and all I want to do is tell her to get the fuck out.
“Wow, you’ve done a lot to this place. I didn’t know it could look this good.”
“I know you didn’t.” The venom flies out of my mouth and she flinches. “It’s not all done yet but progress is happening.”
And I’m proud of that. I don’t care for her reaction or what she’s thinking but it’s validation for all the work and all the things I’ve had to sacrifice for this house.
“Well, the house is looking great. You’re doing a good job with it.”
“Thank you. Was there something you needed?”
Her eyes flash with that impatient light that is so hers. Her lips purse in a way that conjures memories of cold shoulders, nagging, and attitude for days. “No.”
I’m annoyed too now but I manage to keep my tone mild. “Then, why are you here?”
“You don’t pick up the phone or return my calls, Jax. This is the only way I can talk to you.” And that is so her. Though she left me, God forbid I ignore her messages.
“I didn’t think there was anything that needed to be said.” This time, I glance at her belly.
As if by reflex, her hand splays over it but she takes two steps toward me until we are so close a kink breaks on the base of my neck. Something inside tells me to step back.
“I told you I want to stay friends. I care for you. I always will. Just because we’re not together, doesn’t mean we have to be enemies. We went through a lot together. No need to throw it away.” She smiles and places her free hand on my arm.
I step back this time. “How does Bradley feel about this?
“He’s okay with it.”
“That’s cool. He’s a better man than me. I wouldn’t take kindly to the woman who is pregnant with my baby, touching her belly with one hand and her ex with the other.”
She backs away a step. “It’s not like that.”
“You play games and right now, you are trying to play one with me to get your way. But it’s not going to work. Let me be perfectly honest here, I don’t want to be your friend. Why would I want to be friends with someone who turned her nose up at my mom’s house or that never wanted to spend any time with her? Why would I want to be friends with someone who left me because I didn’t buy the house she wanted me to or apply to the job announcements she sent me?”
I’m not yelling or riled up. But the words are just flying out of my mouth.
“You said I don’t have enough ambition. You found someone who has all that, so go enjoy your life and leave me alone.”
Her face is flushed and her nose flares and she stomps her way to the front door. I exhale but then she turns around, her eyes flashing and her finger in the air pointing to me. I brace myself for the epic meltdown in the horizon.
“It’s funny how everything is my fault. I’m the bitch that left you and found someone else. Your mother must be having a field day with that. She never liked me anyway. But did you ever tell her that you left before I did?”
She scoffs. “Was it fair for you to expect me to put everything on hold until you got yourself together or your money was right again? How long would that have been? You’re still working two jobs and this house is nowhere near done. You didn’t take me into account. You bought the house without caring that I didn’t approve and basically told me to live with it. You just expected me to live here and what? Put my money into it too?”
“No, as you can see, I don’t need your money.”
She laughs. “Yeah, because you’re throwing all yours at it. But what about us? When were we going to travel and do couples things, like we used to? Between your two jobs and the work you started doing here, we didn’t have time to do the things I wanted together.”
I think of Saona’s visit last month. I spent the long weekend working in the house. She’d talked to me as I worked and other times she’d gone and done her work in the family room. We’d gone to different spots for our meals and taken walks. We’d even hit the bar. She’d never complained once.
“That wouldn’t have been forever, Josie. Things were going to get better—”
“Have they, Jax? I know you still work at the bar. Was it fair for you to ask me to wait?”
It’s a left hook to the gut and a real good one. Things are not as tight as they were a couple of months ago, nothing unexpected has come up with the house, but they’re far from where I want them to be.
“They’ve gotten better in my book. I know this wouldn’t have been better for you.”
She scoffed again. “I wanted so much more for us. Was that so wrong? I didn’t want to be tied up to an old house. I guess painting me as a demon makes you feel better and justified. Be my guest.”
She walks out of the door, leaving me in the company of her words, which won’t go away.
I finish installing the garbage disposal and call Matt over for a beer. As it turns out, he needs a break from a movie night with Lacey and Kelsey.
“So, what did the resident she-evil want?”
I chuckle. He started calling her that when we broke up. It’s never gotten old.
“Same thing as the last few months. She wants to stay friends and since I don’t pick up her calls, she came to try to force me in person.”
He makes a gagging motion. “She’s always been a piece of work. Always trying to force you to do what she wanted. I’m glad you saw the light and showed her the door.”
I glance at the literal door. “Is that what you think I did? She’s the one that left me.”
“Lacey and I argued about this, a lot. My opinion is that it was your money and you weren’t engaged. If you wanted to buy this house, you had the right to do that. Lacey says that you were with Josie for two years and she was probably thinking marriage. When you bought the house she didn’t want, you basically told her ‘If you don’t like it, then go.’”
It annoys me. “I figured that eventually when we took that step, this house would be for us.”
“That she would live in a house she hated?”
“I don’t know that she hated the house, as much as my money going into it.”
He shrugs. “It’s your money but Lacey said she would have taken it as a sign that you didn’t think much of your relationship.”
I grind my teeth together and bite back an acid retort.
“She’s happy you two broke up. She thinks Josie is a bitch anyway, though she could see why she made the decision to break up with you. Now she’s sad that you didn’t end up with Kelsey.”
“Who took it harder, you or her? You were insisting pretty hard.”
“She was fucking riding me about that. I just wanted to go on double dates with a dude I can stand. You know what it’s like sitting through outings with the sad-sacs Kelsey normally dates?”
I laugh.
“New York had to go and snag you.”
Yeah, she did. And I welcome thoughts of Saona. I can’t wait to be snagged up in her again.
16
Saona
* * *
I rearrange the pillows, fidget with the furniture, inspect every corner of the apartment, tuck and untuck my hair behind my ears like four times. Maybe I should do as Sierra says and wait for Jax naked with a flower in my hair and a plate of food in my hand.
I don’t know why I’m freaking out. It’s not like he’s going to really care how fluffed my pillows are. He’s a man. He probably won’t even notice that or how clean the curtains are or the new area rugs. Last night before bed he said, I’m going to kiss you tomorrow and this afternoon right before he got on the road he texted, I can’t wait to hold you tonight.
