Some nights, p.6
Some Nights, page 6
Her bottom lip disappears between her teeth and I force my gaze to stay in her eyes. Something’s obviously bothering her and me fantasizing about her mouth won’t help either of us. “You want to talk about it?”
She shakes her head and looks away toward her bedroom.
“Her marriage is not doing well and she’s not in a good place.” Her chest sags a little as if it’s weight she’s been carrying there.
She and her sister are close. They spend a lot of time together and Saona often talks about her. It doesn’t surprise me that she’s worried.
“I’m sorry she’s going through all that.”
She nods. “I don’t know how to help her. I can’t live with a person I can’t trust. I wouldn’t be able to look David in the face every day.”
The churning inside her is in every syllable, in every word. I know exactly how she feels. This is why no matter how many times Josie calls asking me to still be friends and telling me how she will always love me, I won’t budge. I don’t need any more friends. Especially, not the kind that once dumped me because she didn’t think I was good enough.
But this is not about me and Josie.
“You don’t have to. You walked away and that was the right thing for you. I’m sure Sierra will do the same when the time comes. You just have to give her time and be there for her as she makes up her mind.”
She sighs and her chest heaves with it. “You’re right.”
I hate that sad look in her face and would do anything to make it go away. “I’m always right. You should know that by now, which is why you need to stop arguing with me all together.”
An emotion flashes over her face and her eyes narrow. Yes, this is what I want. I couldn’t handle it if she wasn’t a feisty pain in the ass.
“Man, that ego is huge.”
“Like my dick?”
She rolls her eyes but a smile twitches at the corners of her mouth. Her ugh sounds more like a sigh, like she can picture and feel my cock. “Did you call me so I can listen to you fluff your own ego? Am I expected to add things like, ‘Oh yeah, Jax, you’re just so big. Everywhere.’”
Her voice is breathy and teasing and I have to remind my body she’s messing with me. This is the thing I like the most about her. She doesn’t get mad or caught up when I’m crude or being a cocky asshole. She rolls with it and gives it right back.
“Actually, smart ass, I called to fluff your ego.” I switch the camera around to face the powder room and take the opportunity to readjust my sweat pants to accommodate my erection.
Her mouth drops and her hand shoots to her chest. “Oh. My. Gawd,” she squeals. “Jax, it’s amazing.” The smile is so big it brightens her whole face.
And it’s contagious. “It looks better in person. I’ll take pictures in the morning light. You were right. The two blues look so good together.”
“Wow. I don’t even know what else to say.”
I turn the camera around to face me and frown at her. “What? No gloating? No, ‘I just knew it would turn out gorgeous?’”
She shook her head. “Thank you for listening but all I did was suggest colors. You did an amazing job, using your handy skills.”
A different light is now shining in her eyes and her smile is so warm, so honest, so incredibly sweet, that I get caught up in it and make a dangerous wish. I wish you were here to enjoy it with me.
My throat thickens and I’m embarrassed by my thoughts. I try to fix it in the only way I know how. “Maybe some day I can fuck you in there. You know, my way of saying thank you.”
Her face goes blank. Shit, I went too far this time.
Then she shrugs a shoulder. “Then we’ll have to do it on the floor, against the living room walls and hanging from the ceiling. Those were my idea too.”
I’ll be beating off tonight, again.
8
Jax
* * *
“Come on, Jax. You don’t even come out anymore. I invited you to our party last week and you left me waiting.”
I uncork the bottle of wine and pour the glass for a customer. I hold up a finger, telling Matt to wait. It’s a stalling tactic more than anything. I could answer him before delivering the drink but I don’t want to. I would be forced to admit to myself the reason I didn’t go is because I was on the phone with Saona until dawn. And it wasn’t even talking dirty, or about sports, or her showing me any part of her body.
It was just talking to her on a day where her ex was giving her more shit about the divorce. I wanted to make her feel better and let her take my mind off having to drop more money on electrical materials and leaving me with barely any money for the week. She didn’t know that part. No way I would tell her I’m a broke ass. She doesn’t need to know that about me and Matt doesn’t need to know about me and her.
“You know how I am. I was on a roll with the floors and the powder room. I needed to get the stairs done.” The lie is more comfortable than confessing I’m twisted up in knots about a woman I’d only fucked once, who is way out of my league, and with whom I fight constantly.
Matt sighs. “Kelsey was there. She asked about you.”
Matt and his girlfriend Lacey have been trying to hook me up with Kelsey since the morning I moved my boxes out of the apartment I used to share with Josie. Before, I’d been on the rebound and hadn’t wanted anything serious. Kelsey was looking for a boyfriend. But…what’s my excuse now?
I’m still scrambling for an excuse when Lacey and Kelsey enter the bar through the street door. My gaze shoots to Matt.
He smiles. “They were in Fells. I told them to come by.”
Kelsey’s all legs in a short dress and leather jacket. She looks like she's straight out of a magazine, with her short haircut and wavy hair. She’s done some modeling according to Matt and I can see why. She’s gorgeous, polished, and delicate like Aunt Iris’ china dolls. She reminds me of Josie when we first met.
“Hi, Jax.” Her smile is sweet and lights up her face.
It’s easy to smile back.
“We haven’t seen you in forever,” says Lacey. She’s the total opposite of Kelsey with deep brown hair and a shorter build.
“The house is keeping me busy.” And the lying continues. “What can I get you ladies to drink?”
“I’ll have a Cosmo,” Kelsey says.
“A French Martini for me,” Lacey says and turns to Matt. They start doing that googly-eye, touchy-feely shit couples do that makes people around them uncomfortable.
Kelsey rolls her eyes and I chuckle. I make their drinks under the weight of her gaze. When I look at her, her lashes lower onto her cheeks for a second.
“I was looking forward to seeing you at the party last week.”
“Yeah?” I don’t know what else to say except, “Sorry to disappoint.”
She pouts a little but then smiles. “You can make it up to me.”
“Oh, yeah? How?”
“Come out with us, tonight.”
“Yes,” Lacey untangles herself from Matt and claps her hands. “We’re doing a pub crawl in Mount Vernon.”
Next to her, Matt is nodding so hard his head should be detaching from his shoulders. I only work for two more hours, so I have no excuse. I have nothing to do, I deserve a night out and tomorrow is payday. There are so many reasons I should be doing this. Why am I stalling?
My mouth opens and I honestly don’t know what will come out of it. I look around the room and that’s when I see her, sitting in the same spot as last time. My heart does a funny flip in my chest.
Saona’s here.
Her head is buried in her phone. I hold up a hand to my friends and make my way to her end.
“Hello.”
Her gaze shoots straight up to mine and it’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen from her. Even when we argue, fire is always burning in her eyes. It’s why I’m always hard. I associate her name with fire. Except that fire is not there. There’s nothing there. What the hell is she doing here, then?
“May I please have a vodka tonic?”
Yup, nothing. But that nothing sparks something, a fuse in my bloodstream.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”
She shrugs.
And now the fuse blows up, causing an eruption that leaves my blood boiling. “We talk every day. Why would you not mention it?”
Her face reddens. “I didn’t think it was important.”
“It is important.”
Her breath catches and her skin turns even darker. Her gaze drifts beyond me to my friends. “You don’t have to worry about me, Jax. I’m not here to ruin anything for you.”
Except she just ruined everything. My night, my mood, all has gone to shit.
“Forget the vodka tonic. Go back to your friends and your party. I have some shopping I need to do, anyway.”
She moves to stand and my hand shoots out to grab her wrist. Her skin is hot and it’s comforting because something is as it should be. “It’s not like that.”
Her lips curve into a sardonic smile. “No explanation necessary. It’s not that serious. Go to the pub crawl and have fun. Text me if you have some free time this weekend.”
I’m stunned and she takes advantage, wriggling her arm free. She walks away, swaying those hips and not once looking back. Her steps are measured, like there is no hurry and she left nothing behind.
It’s not that serious.
My body grows hot, like instead of words she doused me with gasoline and then set me on fire. She shows up here, unannounced, takes a righteous attitude, and walks away after pissing me the fuck off. She’s acting like a girlfriend that caught me cheating. I wasn’t even flirting.
If it’s not that serious to her, it’s not that serious to me either.
Saona
* * *
I think I’m having a heart attack. This time for real. My heart won’t stop pounding and my skin is on fire. I’m so embarrassed I could die. Between the Harbor East shops and the mall in the Inner Harbor, I have seven bags. I bought shit I don’t need and some I’m not sure I even want. All in hope of shutting off my brain and my shame.
I’m so fucking stupid.
I had this dumb fantasy. Jax would see me and get all happy and I would be slick and tell him to meet me upstairs and it would be hot like our first time but without me being nervous and awkward. It would be sexy and dirty and so good. So, so good.
Except, it wouldn’t be that. Not now or ever.
Because he was flirting with another woman and they were planning a double date and instead of backing out of the bar as quietly as I came in, I decided to stay. I listened to the whole thing with my heart in my throat and my hopes dragging on the floor. I was so embarrassed already that when he finally saw me, all I wanted was to save face. I handled it all wrong. I was cold and bitchy and I need to stop thinking.
I find a restaurant overlooking the water and go inside and grab a seat by the bar. The cute bartender, early twenties and way too skinny with his hair slicked back, and a smile like a mall kiosk salesman, heads my way. He starts telling me about their drink specials and their signature drink, Between the Sheets. He says it’s bound to fix all my problems. I want to tell him to shut up and make me one.
Instead, I ask, “Is it strong?”
The watts in his smile go up. “I can make it extra strong.”
I point at him and even push a smile on my lips. “Do that.”
Thirty minutes later, I am floating in a cloud of no shame. “You’re a god, Tyler. This is wonderful.”
He gives me a laugh and I should give him all the cash in my purse right now because he and his magical drink deserve it all.
But then my phone vibrates and my stomach sinks when I see Jax’s name.
Where are you?
The wave of embarrassment bowls me over again. I debate not answering him. Maybe it’s for the best if we don’t see each other. I don’t want to face his anger and he probably thinks I’m a stalker-clinger. A quick rupture is probably best.
But I can’t ignore him. I can’t be a coward. We’ve been friends for months now. I think he deserves better than to be left hanging. I need to face the music.
I’m having drinks at the Inner Harbor. I’ll head back to the hotel.
He replies not even a minute later. Stay there. I’ll come to you and walk you back.
I shake my head. No need. I can walk back. It is not that far.
He insists. It’s not safe. I’ll come to you. Tell me where you are.
Ugh, he’s going to be difficult. Jax, I can take an Uber then.
Tell me where you are, Saona.
I’m annoyed when I drop him a pin to the spot.
Tyler offers me a smile. “You don’t look relaxed anymore.”
“I’m fine.”
I’ve about had it with these fucking perceptive bartenders.
Ten minutes later, Jax strolls through the door and out go all my thoughts. He looks mouthwatering in his black T-shirt, blue jeans, and pissed off look.
“How’d you get here so fast?”
He leans on the counter next to me, gazing from my empty drink glass to my face. “I took the Circulator. It’s the free bus that goes around downtown.”
“Oh.”
He eyes the bags on the floor next to me. “You’ve been busy.”
My sweet angel Tyler saves me from answering. “Can I get you anything?”
“I’ll have a Cognac neat.”
Tyler nods and turns to me with a smile, pointing to my glass. “Can I bring you another Between the Sheets?”
I nod.
“Must be a damned good drink. You drank all of it.”
I can’t tell if he’s making a joke.
“Of course, it is. Between the Sheets won two awards last year,” Tyler says on his way to the other end of the bar.
Jax looks like he wants to kill me. We sit in silence until Tyler returns with our drinks. He also places the receipt in front of Jax. “The lady’s drink is on the house.”
I ignore the accusatory look in Jax’s eyes and thank Tyler. Jax takes his cognac in one shot.
“I can’t drink mine but I don’t want to be rude, since he gave it to me.”
Jax takes my drink in his hand, drinks it all, and places a ten-dollar bill on the counter. “Come on, let’s head back.”
He carries most of my bags as we maneuver around the large number of people in the Inner Harbor. The silence between us is killing me and since I fucked up, I bite the bullet.
“Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come without telling you.”
“No, Saona. You shouldn’t have,” he bites out.
Humiliation hits me so hard I almost stumble. How many ways can a person get rejected in one night? It’s my own fault but still... Why couldn’t he just let me lick my wounds alone? Why did he come meet me? Does he need to put me in my place that badly?
“I—”
“I didn’t do anything wrong and I don’t need you springing surprises on me and then looking at me like I wronged you.” He’s not looking at me and we’re walking fast.
“I know you didn’t. This was my bad. You should go out with your friends. No hard feelings.”
He scoffs. “No hard feelings, huh? Because this is not that serious.”
Oh shit. “I…didn’t mean that but what I said is not altogether wrong. I mean, we are friends but we don’t owe each other anything. That’s why you should go on your double date.”
He stops walking abruptly. “It’s not what you’re thinking, Saona. That’s not a double date.”
It’s not what you’re thinking, Saona. Like I haven’t heard that shit before.
I may have done something inappropriate but I’ll be damned if he treats me like an idiot. “Your friend and his girlfriend invite you out with another girl who obviously likes you and is asking you to come join. That’s called a date…”
My voice trails off and I realized that I just admitted that I sat there and listened to their whole conversation. Oh my God, I need to be saved from myself.
“Saona, I wasn’t—”
I see the excuses about to come out and hold up a hand to stop them. I prefer that he’s pissed at me than he starts treating me like an idiot. Like my soon-to-be ex used to treat me.
He doesn’t try to say anything else. I get through the rest of the walk back to the hotel making plans. I’m going to go upstairs and get a ticket on the evening train back to New York after I meet with the Baltimore staff tomorrow. I’ll see if Sierra wants to go to the spa with me. That will help. I won’t mention what happened here because hopefully I can keep this embarrassment of a day to myself.
I almost forget Jax is next to me. That is, if you can almost forget the hulking six-foot-four man with wide shoulders who smells like a walking orgasm. By the time we get a few feet from the hotel, I have a new thing to be ashamed about: being so turned on I want to beg him to fuck me against the wall.
But I’m proud of myself because I turn to him with self-control, dignity, and the kind of politeness that wins my mother over. “Thank you so much for carrying my stuff. It was nice to see you and I hope you have fun tonight.”
I hold out my hand for my bags. He doesn’t even look at it, his eyes continue burning through me.
“Tell the concierge you have someone bringing your bags in. I’ll meet you up in your room.”
I force a smile. “That’s not necessary. Thank you so much. I don’t want to delay you any further.”
He repeats his instructions, lasering me with his eyes and we stand there, staring at each other until it becomes clear he won’t budge.
“Fine.” I stalk away. Let him carry all the crap upstairs. What do I care if he’s late for his date? All I know right now is that I’m going back home and I’ll do whatever I need to make that go smoothly.
I swing the door open and shove my purse on the table. I need to splash water on my face to cool down. My blood is running like lava through my veins. By the time he knocks on the door, my face is dry but far from cool.
I sigh and go open it. The lines I’ve been rehearsing for the past ten minutes flow perfect from my lips. “Thank you so much. It’s very nice of you to bring my things in—”
