Some nights, p.18
Some Nights, page 18
EPILOGUE
Saona
* * *
Footsteps are echoing through the house. I never thought I would thank God for that at seven in the morning. It’s so quiet here at night I find it hard to sleep. I’m used to the city noise of New York. Even in Riverdale where it’s relatively quiet. It’s never noiseless.
I push the covers back and slowly pull one leg out. I don’t want to wake up Jax. He’s gotten even more frisky since we got here to his mother’s place. There was the middle of the afternoon “nap” and then all-night marathon. There’s no way in hell we’re going to do this in the morning, with his mom and Aunt Iris moving around the house. They’re way too perceptive and I’m not going to face them and their knowing smiles by myself.
Nope. Not happening.
It’s been amazing, though. Just the challenge of keeping quiet while my body is turning into absolute putty under his hands and mouth and shattering, excites me in ways that I’ve never thought possible. My nipples harden just thinking about it and the familiar yearning begins to unfold. I really need to hurry before he wakes.
My butt finally makes it off the bed and I’m free to make a beeline for the bathroom. A hand wraps around my waist and drags me across the sheets and against a warm body. My butt nestles an impossibly hard erection.
“Where are you going?” Jax’s lips press behind my ear and his hand begins to trail my inner thigh.
“Jax, we can’t. They’re awake and Aunt Iris is waiting for me.” But my less than half-hearted protest is short lived because I squirm and rub my ass against him.
He kisses my cheek until I turn my face to his. “We’ll be real quiet.”
I open my legs so he can stroke me. His fingers slide up and down my folds, with that little pressure I love and can’t help but writhe against.
“Jax.”
“Yes, Boss. Tell me what you want.” His voice is deep and sleepy but he’s still so lucid and purposeful in his stroking.
“They’ll hear us.”
“They won’t. You can be real quiet and let me take care of us. Because you feel it, don’t you?” He flicks his hips and I go a little light headed at how hard and thick he already is.
“I feel it.”
His fingers slip past my nether lips and still. “You want to ride my fingers?”
I shake my head and move, looking for friction.
“No? You want to ride my cock, then?”
I shake my head again.
“My tongue?”
My insides shake but that’s another no. I want a recent addition to our repertoire. The one from the Cosmo article that brought out yesterday’s “nap.”
“You need to tell me what you want, bad girl. We both need some release soon.”
I can’t help it. I need him. “I want you deep.”
He withdraws his fingers and I’m bereft. “Show me how you want it. I need to know.”
I roll onto my back, press my knees together and pull them to my chest.
He sits up on the bed and smiles. “Oooooh, you want it like that?”
“Hurry.” That’s all I can say. My body is starved and desperate. I want all of him.
He kneels down and takes his hard dick in his hand, pumping a couple of strokes down its length. It makes me clench and jealous. I want that inside me. He knows and tortures me a little more, teasing a couple of circles before he guides it past my folds and leans forward. He’s slow and gradual and I swallow small gasps because he’s so deep, so incredibly deep I’m about to burst because I’m so full. He places a hand by each of my shoulders, holding his body up.
It’s so hot how strong he is. I want to tell him that but he rocks his hips. His rhythm is slow and steady. It’s driving me crazy.
“Faster.” I beg and press my feet to his shoulder.
He shakes his head. “That would hurt you.”
I’m losing my mind because my belly’s gone tight and my inner walls are quickening. A few fast strokes are all I need. I’m cursing myself for choosing this position but I love giving him the power to control my release, knowing he’ll take care of me.
I still can’t help but chant, “Make me come. Please make me come.”
“I always do. I always will.” He tilts my hips forward a little more and slow pounds on me until my entire body flushes, my eyes water and the scream builds in the back of my throat.
I clamp my teeth on his forearm just in time for my body to crack and shatter. He pumps a little more and lets out the most beautiful sound. It’s a mixture between a gasp and a hiss. But it’s the grunt that I love the most. It’s like he’s an animal that can’t help but come and be savage around me.
He pulls out and settles me against his body. He tilts my face to his and kisses me like he’s leading me down to foreplay instead of cuddling. His fingers trail circles on my belly.
“Good morning,” he says and I giggle.
I push away from his arms. “I got to go. They’re waiting for me. You need to get up. The attic lights are not going to fix themselves and you need to check the furnace.”
“Yes, Boss.”
“Oh, by the way, you need to check your email. I looked at that wine bar in our neighborhood. I like it.”
“You think it can work for us?”
I smile. “I do.”
He found the place and, though he looked like he was going to throw up, he brought it up to me as a business we could start together. It would take an equal investment from both of us.
“I still don’t want you to use your 401K, Jax. I can—”
His smile doesn’t fade but his eyes are serious. “I know you can. And we may need it down the road. But we are starting this together and I want us to be equal partners from the start. You get that, right?”
I think about how hard this must be for him, being so proud and all. I remember how he’d flipped over me offering to pay for dinner and how he’d reacted when he found out how much I made. Then I think of how sheepish he’d looked yesterday when he told me about the bar for sale on our drive down here. It’s a nice little place with lots of charm. We can make it our own. That makes me smile even more.
“I get it.”
He pats his lap. “We’re going to own a business. Come here, let’s celebrate.”
I laugh and flick him with water. But as he’s about to get up from the bed, I rush back in the room and straddle his lap.
“I knew you wanted to celebrate.” He kisses my neck.
“I do, but not right now. I know coming to me wasn’t easy and it took a lot of courage. I love you and I’m proud of you for that.”
He’s taken aback but recovers fast, burying his hands in my hair and kissing my mouth. “It’s because of you, Saona. Because I never want to see another day without you.”
* * *
THE END
* * *
If you enjoyed Some Nights, turn to the next page for an excerpt of SOME MORNINGS.
EXCERPT OF SOME MORNINGS
A NEW CITY, AND A SEXY MORNING ARRANGEMENT, GAVE THESE TWO FRIENDS A SECOND CHANCE AT LOVE
Dear God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom so I don’t speed my ass to the Bronx and kill this motherfucker.
“Edwin, you don’t even have to leave the Bronx. I can pack up the kids and bring them up to you this weekend. Even if it’s just for a day, it would make them happy. They just want to see you.”
“Sisi, I told you. This is not a good time. Dania is delicate right now. The baby is riding too low and her morning sickness won’t stop. She needs rest, care and attention.”
Oh, I see. None of the things you gave me when I was knocked up with your two kids. All I got was cheated on and then called by your skank to rub my face in it.
But I swallow my resentment because I need him to see the kids.
“All I’m asking for is a couple of hours. Maybe Dania’s mom can come stay with her and you can take Emmi and Eddie for ice cream or to the damned Rat. They miss you.”
“You should have thought of that when you moved them over three hundred miles away from me.”
I recoil like he’d sprayed kerosene over my skin. It wouldn’t take a match for this shit to go up in flames. What I need is to keep it amicable.
“I moved down here because I got a good job. I couldn’t afford the rent and the private school. Not on my own. Here, they go to a good public school and we live in a nice neighborhood. By the way, I still haven’t gotten your check yet.”
He clears his throat. “Um. I’m a little behind. With the pregnancy, and Dania not working, we have some added expenses. I need some extra time.”
I grit my teeth so hard they may sink into one another. “How much time? You’re four months behind.”
“It’s a rough time, Sierra. But don’t worry, you’ll get your alimony.”
Oh, hell no. Fuck this.
“You don’t pay alimony. The money I take from you is called child support, which the court decided your children need. Which you have not paid in months, and I’ve been overlooking it to keep the peace. I can’t do it much longer. My funds are low from covering your faults.”
And so is my patience.
“I have to go. I can’t get in trouble at work or you won’t get your ‘court-appointed money.’ I’ll call the kids tonight.”
A call beeps on the other line. “I’ll tell them to expect your call.”
And go to fucking hell.
“Yes?” My tone is rougher than I mean for it to be when I answer the other line. That’s what a conversation with my ex-husband does to me.
“Hola, bebé.” A husky voice croons from the other side.
I let my head hang back. I do not need this shit either. “Why the hell are you calling, José?”
He chuckles. “Seems like I called at exactly the right time. You sound tight, Sisi. You know I can make it better for you, give it to you how you like it.
Jesus, he’s right. I need some dick. I need to get laid, slayed, piped, fucked, whatever.
I need a man’s big and strong body pinning mine down, his hard cock sliding in and out of me until I’m sweaty, clawing, desperate and writhing for more friction. I need something to obliterate my bullshit reality for an hour. But I can’t have that. At least not now, and never again with José.
“Come on, Sisi. You want it. I know you do. I can come down there to Baltimore and give it to you fast and hard, braced against a wall or bent over the couch.” His honeyed voice drips with the memories of all my moans and echoes, of all the times he made my body tremble and seize.
My legs squeeze together, as do my eyes. I struggle against the urge to say yes and settle for a weak, “José...”
“Oh, yeah. There’s my Sisi. I can be there before eleven and gone before the kids come back from school.”
Kids, meaning mine. The word hits me like a bucket of cold water. I’m no longer almost clawing my thighs with need. Instead, my pussy has gone drier than a summer in Nevada.
My kids, Emmi and Eddie, are the two people I would do anything for. They are my greatest joys, who lately cause me the biggest pain. They’re also the reason I say, “I have to go, José.”
“Why are you being like this? It’s always been so good between us. So sexy. Remember all those times on my couch or against my window, with the blinds open?”
I remember. All too well. It’s why I’d been so horny seconds ago, but now my libido has gone straight into a coma.
“José, that won’t ever be the same. Please stop calling. You’re not going to wear me down. It’s really over. Goodbye.”
José fed my destructive side. He’s the one I ran to when I got tired of my ex-husband cheating on me and making me look the fool. Every time Edwin had neglected my kids and me for a new piece of tail, José would shove all my pain away with rough strokes of his cock. I always left his place in Washington Heights in a good mood. I’d gotten my cheating husband back.
It never lasted.
It was never long before I was muffling my sobs in the shower and feeling like shit again because Edwin got with some new bitch. I would be pissed off and vindictive and looking to get mine.
Until one morning, at my sister’s old apartment, when I came face to face with the truth. Edwin had cheated on me first, but I was a cheater too. I had let him turn me into one. The shame was so great I could feel nothing but disgust with myself.
Since then, I haven’t been able to chill with José. No matter how much he begs. I can’t even see his name on my phone without the skin on my face tingling.
That’s why I hang up on him with no regrets. He’ll call back. He always does. I won’t ever answer him again.
I hit “info” under his contact information and scroll down to block the number, but my screen lights up with my sister’s name. I haven’t seen her in a couple of days. She’s been working from the New York office.
“Hey, I was just about to call you—”
“Mom is threatening to come visit us.” She blurts it out, not sounding as horrified as she should. Like she’s not afraid to let our mom around her fiancé, Jax, or worried what her presence may do to us as humans.
“Tell her no. I don’t fucking need this right now, Saona.”
“Neither of us does, Sisi, but we promised her a move down here wouldn’t mean we would stop seeing her. Maybe we can take a day trip to New York with the kids to visit.”
“No, I can’t do a trip to the city.” Better said, I can’t take my kids to the city. I can’t stand to see them disappointed when they can’t see their dad, because Edwin is too busy…being a deadbeat asshole.
“Are you okay?” My sister’s tone shifts to concerned.
“Yeah,” I lie. “I’m just not in the mood for a family reunion.”
“I’m not fishing today, Sierra. Tell me what’s wrong.”
Ugh, I hate how well she can read me.
“Everything is a fucking disaster. I think the kids borderline hate me. I woke up at six in the morning to get them ready for school, cut the crust off their sandwiches, and find all the shit that disappears under their noses. Only to get attitude from Emmi and, ‘I miss daddy’ from Eddie.
My sister’s sigh fills the line. “It’s normal. He’s their dad and they don’t know what an asshole he is.”
“I know, Manita. I do. But it’s hard, when there’s so much I can’t and won’t say to them. I called Edwin this morning and he told me he doesn’t have time to come see them. They miss their daddy, and he made fifty thousand excuses when I offered to bring them up to New York so he can spend time with them.” I shove a hand through my hair and take a few breaths.
My sister switches from voice call to FaceTime. Her frowning face, where I see so much of me and my daughter, fills my screen. “God, how can Edwin be such a dick? He just met that chick not even seven months ago.”
“When has that ever stopped him? I’m worried about the kids. They don’t understand that he has a new wife and a kid on the way. I can’t keep covering all his faults. I’m exhausted from getting blamed, from being pelted with Emmi’s attitude, and from dealing with his family’s calls.”
“I’m back home tonight. Why don’t we go out this weekend and do something fun? Or maybe we can plan a trip to Disney with them.”
Saona’s the best sister and aunt anyone could ever want.
“Jax would kill us. The bar is so busy at night that he’s going out of his mind. I’m shocked he hasn’t quit his day job yet.”
Saona shakes her head, but there’s always a hint of a smile whenever his name is mentioned. “He’s hardheaded. I hate how much he works. He would be at The Birthmark all the time, if we didn’t have you and Juan helping out.”
“Yeah, he would.”
Saona taps a pen against her bottom lip, right over the black beauty mark she’s had since birth. “Do you think maybe you should take the kids to see someone? They’ve had a lot of changes in the past year and a half. And, unlike when we were kids, we have the means now.”
I glare at her with narrowed eyes. “You mean you have the means.”
My sister glares right back at me. “You need to get laid. You’re way too bitchy. We have the means to take them to a counselor.”
“I’m sorry.” I am. I just hate that she’s always having to help me, but if I tell her that, she will pitch a fit.
“I mean it, Sisi. And you should go out with someone. It’s not good for you to just go from your house to work, to driving the kids around and back.”
“I can’t think about that right now… José called today. He wants to come visit.”
Her eyes grow round. “Oh. What did you say to El Tiguere?”
“You sound like Mami, calling him that. Of course, I told him no. I can’t bring myself to be involved with anyone, least of all him.”
She nods. “I understand, but I’m going to give you the same advice someone once gave me. You’re single and gorgeous. You should be fucking everything that makes you feel like an absolute Dominican goddess.”
I laugh. “Don’t throw my words in my face. The difference is, you don’t have kids. It’s easier to pass the biscuit around when you don’t have little ones. Anyway, I’m not ready. I don’t know anyone here and it’s not like I have the time to break in someone new.”
Her eyes grow round again. “Oh, crap. I have an eight o’clock meeting. Hang in there, Sisi. I’ll be home tonight. We’ll talk.” She hangs up.
I need to get a grip and get back to work. These books are not going to get themselves done. But I’m going to stay the course for now. I need to take care of my kids and make sure they’re okay. I don’t need a plaything, a man, or anyone who can get complicated. Maybe I can upgrade my Pleasurizer to the 3.0 device.
The shattering of glass tears through the silent bar. I’m out of the office chair in seconds. I’m from the Bronx, so a little shattering glass doesn’t scare me but it sounded too close for comfort. I grab the bat Jax keeps in the office and tiptoe my way to the back of the bar.
