Steel, p.12
Steel, page 12
The door closes and Dani-the-Realtor is yapping about seeing other places but Amelia shakes her head.
"Not today. I'm good."
The other woman smiles, like they're having girl talk. "It helps to know the right people. Go home and sleep on it and call me when you're ready."
When.
I hate this woman and her bare-her-every-tooth grin. But what I hate the most is the way Amelia doesn't correct her, doesn't tell her how much she hates the place. No, she's just standing there with a demure look on her face.
I hold it. I don't know how but I hold it ‘til we're almost back to the house. "I thought you hated the place."
She turns from the window where everything has been of the most interest, ever, to look at me. "Huh?"
"The condo. You told me you hated it."
She shrugs and goes back to looking out the window.
"So, you like it or you don't. Which is it, Amelia?"
What the hell am I doing? Why the fuck is this so important to me?
"Why does it matter? It's not like I've made a decision."
Then, I realize what's bugging me. "But you did make a decision. You hated it but since ex-boyfriend stepped off the elevator, you changed your mind all of a sudden."
She pelts me with her scowl. "Are you fucking kidding me? I'm not in the mood for a jealousy episode. You have no right to do this."
The car comes to a halt in front of the Brownstone and she doesn't wait for the guards to open the door. She flings it open and steps out. She goes inside the Brownstone, barely nodding at her people outside.
I'm keeping my mouth shut. We're not arguing in front of our guards. But the second we step into the living room, I'm ready for her.
"Why do I have no right? Have you decided that I no longer have a right?"
She lets out a long groan. "What the fuck are you doing to me?"
I freeze, not only because she screamed, but because her fists are pressed to her side and her face has gone dark.
"You pushed me away, like you didn’t need me. You had your fill of me and decided I wasn't worth another second of your time but you expect me to not speak to other men, not laugh, not leave the room without you. I'm not worth the fight, but you still expect me to sit here and wait, just in case you change your mind?"
Her words are like a sledgehammer to my chest. Christ. This is what she's been feeling. How can she even think that?
"Amelia, it's not…I never…"
"Stop, I don't want to hear what you have to say. Leave me alone. I don't need this. I don't want to be around this. I can't take it."
I need to calm her down. I cross the few steps between us and hold her fast against me. "I didn't mean to hurt you. Listen to me."
She shoves me off. I'm stunned.
"Don't touch me. It's enough. I want you to go back to California. I don't want you around anymore. Let me live or die in peace. Let's just stop this. Just fucking go."
She storms out the door and I can't help but follow her, ignoring the phone that won't stop ringing. I don't care who it is.
"Amelia, stop."
"No, leave me the hell alone."
22
Leandro better not follow me. I'm done. I'm done with all this shit. I'm so pissed the tears won't come. The phone is vibrating in my purse. I'm trying to find it but my hands are shaking so bad. I stop, lean against the wall to prevent myself from slamming my bag against it.
I need to calm down. What the hell is happening to me? I had a plan, I wasn't going to let him get to me but there I was screaming. I don't know what he wants from me but I need to stop reacting to everything he says. I should head back and talk to him. I shouldn't have yelled. My phone rings again, I take deep breaths and reach in the bag. This time I find it.
It's Gia. I send it to voicemail. New rule: no running to the girls every time I'm pissed. Except, I really want to talk to her. My eyes well now. I need to woman-up on this one.
I take a few steps towards my room and the phone rings again. Carissa this time. Hit voicemail and keep walking. At my door when it rings one more time and it's an unknown number. They’re probably calling from a secure line.
If I don't answer they'll keep calling.
I barely hit answer. "Hi, Mel."
My heart leaps to my throat and I stagger against the wall. Sebastian. Oh God. I breathe. I can’t let him know how scared I am.
"What the fuck do you want? And just so you know, I’m in no mood for your shit right now."
"What happened? Problems with Leo? I did warn you but you never listen.”
“Why would I listen to a traitor and a murderer? Leandro is fine. He’s here safe with me.”
“Are you sure? And for how long? If I’m him, I wouldn’t step out today.”
His sing-song mocking tone makes me pivot and head back. "Fuck you. You can’t scare us."
"Are you willing to bet your life on that…well, not that it matters. You and I will meet in the end."
I'm hurrying now, with my chest so tight I can barely breathe. "Go. To. Hell."
“No doubt I will. Leo will get there ahead of me, though. Boom-boom, bye-bye, Leo.” He hangs up and I’m flying through the house.
Leandro’s not in the living room, I rush out and head to the office and he's not there either. He didn't go toward his bedroom. He would have pass me in the hallway.
I want you to go back to California. I don't want you around anymore. Let me live or die in peace. Just go.
That's what I said to him. I told him to leave.
Boom boom, bye bye, Leo.
Oh God.
"No."
I take off in a run but don't get far. A loud boom resounds, the walls shake, and I fall to my knees.
My head's rattling. I am contemplating going after Amelia. Stopping her, by force if necessary, and having this out with her. She thinks I used her. Her words sting. I failed her again. She's upset and hurt. She's been through hell lately but how the fuck can she think that?
Go back to California. I want you gone. I fucked this up. I never would've known she would take it this way. She's so strong. Why would a woman like her think this could actually happen, that I’d gotten my fill of her?
If she only knew I need whiskey to sleep without her. The last two days, waking up without her, have been the worst of my life. I need to go to her. No, I need to let her cool off. She won't listen when she's this pissed off. I'm mad too. How do I still have to explain to her what she means to me?
The truth is I don't want to tell her. She already fucks me up and she doesn't even know. God, she really doesn't know. And I have to tell her. I can't let her go on thinking I used her. I need her to understand why we can't be together. At least not now until I've emptied my clip down Sebastian's throat.
I count the steps as I head down. I'm going out for a bit to get a drink. There's a bar a few blocks away. I'll leave a message for Amelia.
The phone rings again. It's Alec. Good. I need a distraction.
"Alec."
"Where the fuck have you been? I've been calling for a while—"
"My bad. Amelia and I… What's going on?"
"Bas called. Go get Mel and get the hell out of New York. I need you to come home."
I stop. "He's trying to scare you. All corners of this house are secured and we have an army of people guarding it. Trusted people."
I turn around to head back up the stairs anyway.
"Leo, this asshole doesn't make empty threats. He knew where Mel and Carissa were after the funeral. He saw them walking at the park. He is watching."
My insides freeze, the blood stops cold in my veins. He's been watching her. He knows her moves. What if he's waiting for her in her room? I hear running footsteps on the floor above me and my stomach drops. I head up the stairs two steps at a time. I'm almost at the top step but the loud boom shakes the wall and I tumble down.
Gravity shoves me back and my heart lurches. The phone flies out of my hand. I need to do something or I’ll roll down the steps. My arms flail searching for something to hold onto. I brace myself for the fall but manage to grab on to the railing. My side bangs the against hallway walls, but my hands tighten around the handrail. I pull, trying to get to my feet, but they can’t hold my weight. Pain shoots through my hip and rattles the back of my head. I drop to my knees and try to catch my breath.
My head swims and the pounding on my skull intensifies. The air wheezes out of my lungs in quick and painful breaths. Jesus, did I hit my head? I pat the back of it to see if there are lumps or if I’m bleeding.
“Oh God. Leandro.”
Her scream breaks through the air, freezing my blood. Amelia.
Footsteps grow closer and louder. Someone’s after her. My adrenaline rushes and I forget my pain, forget my head, forget my legs can’t hold me. I’m on my feet, climbing up, when she appears at the top of the steps. I can’t even feel relieved because she’s barreling down the stairs. She’s screaming my name but not looking at me. She runs down the steps. I hold my breath and try to stall her. She’s going to break her neck. She’s about to pass me but I catch her by the waist. She’s struggling between rasping breaths and screaming my name.
“Leandro. Oh God. Leandro.”
Her words claw deep inside the walls of my stomach and I think my heart is about to give out. I’m standing here but she doesn’t see me. She shoves me out of her way and my legs fold under me and I’m forced to grip the rail again. She takes off, calling my name one more time. She’s running to the door.
Shit. I need to catch her. It’s not safe to go out.
I scramble to my feet but she’s on the landing floor. I scream for her to stop. She reaches for the door, but Adrian is there to stop her. My bodyguard takes one look at me and then at her. I don’t have to say anything. He wraps his arms over hers and her two guards coming in after and slam the door shut. One of them picks up my phone from the floor and speaks into it but I can’t hear what he says. Adrian starts walking up the stairs, restraining Amelia.
“A car blew up outside. It’s a fucking mess.”
I can barely hear him. She’s still trying to wrestle out of his arms. I still don’t have full control of my legs. Adrian drags her to me but she tries to bolt again. He pushes her down to sit on one of the steps.
I sit next to her, take her shoulders in my hand and shake her hard. “I’m here. I’m okay. Amelia!”
I’m yelling but I need her to hear me.
Her eyes round and she stops, the light in her eyes changing. She sees me. “You’re okay.”
She throws herself so hard against me that my back hits the wall. But I don’t feel the pain. Not when she’s shaking and her nails are digging at my back.
No, I’m not okay. Neither of us are.
23
I live to see another longest night of my life. I’ve lost count of how many I’ve spent like this. For this one, I’m on a plane, holding a sedated Amelia and ruminating about how Bas was able to get to us, again. He’s managed to terrorize her once more. My blood roars with hatred.
The flight attendant passes by again and whispers the litany of the night. "Are you sure I can't get you anything, sir?"
I'm dying to tell her and her other three colleagues to fuck off. I can’t call more attention to us. Instead, I summon the most painful smile of my lifetime. "I'm fine, thanks."
She shoots a look at the seat next to me, nods and walks away.
I hate them all the most because they keep dragging me from my thoughts. I kiss Amelia's forehead again, remind myself we are both alive. Although well is quite another matter. Every few minutes I hear the explosion of the car bomb. I feel the rattling in the walls. I'm tumbling down the stairs of the Brownstone.
Amelia’s inconsolable sobs, Alec yelling on the phone that we needed to head out. We had to sedate her. It was the only way to get her on the plane. Thankfully, we were able to pull some strings at the airport. The excuse is that she is petrified of flying and had to be medicated.
Twenty minutes into the flight, she forgot I was next to her and began to cry, telling me she didn't want anything to happen to me. I kept reassuring her and at one point begged her just go to sleep and not say anything. She asked me if I hated her. I said no but she cried again. I ordered her to sleep and for some reason that did the trick. She laid her head on my shoulder and knocked out. I turned around to some lovely looks from the passengers on the other side of the aisle. Fuck them all to hell.
We can't get to California fast enough.
Like she can hear my desperation, she lifts her head and I’m staring into pupils enormous like black moons. "You're okay."
I nod, not trusting my voice or my ability to keep calm. The tips of her fingers worry my stubble as though she needs confirmation.
"I thought you left…that you listened to me."
I clear my throat. "You should've known better. I never listen." A couple of seconds pass, then her lips curve in the sorriest attempt at a smile I've ever seen.
I'm going to kill Sebastian someday. It's my new prayer. "You should sleep. We'll be home soon. Carissa is waiting so she can dump her kids on you."
She doesn't say anything, and God knows I need her to stop touching me like that, but I lean into her touch, my forehead to hers. I close my eyes and jump out of my body when the bell rings.
My heart threatens to stomp out of my chest. Not enough air is filtering through my nose. I open my mouth and my arms tighten around Amelia's still sleeping form. She doesn't stir. I am jealous of her slumber but mollified by how comfortable she is against me.
The pilot announces our descent and I try to swallow the enormous lump in my throat. I want to ask for some water but that might disturb Amelia. I want to let her sleep ‘til we land. We need to rush through the airport and into the waiting car.
I maneuver my hand to the back pocket of my jeans and retrieve my beat-up cell phone. The phone screen is like a glass spider web. It cracked when it landed against the floor after the explosion. The broken glass pricks my fingers, but I turn off airplane mode and I find a text from Alec.
There's a car waiting for you. Airport officials are very understanding of your fiancée's flying nervousness. You'll have no trouble.
Fiancée, huh? Second time we play this game.
How is she?
I tell him she's sleeping but I am going to wake her before the plane touches down. I don't want her to startle or have a flashback on impact. I shake her shoulder and she stirs. Her smile lights up the night, but it evaporates with every ticking second until it's gone.
"We're about to land."
She blinks.
"We're in California." My voice is soft, almost pleading.
The barely-there nod has me exhaling with relief. She moves away, out of my arms and runs her fingers through her hair, smoothing it. She stares from her lap to the window.
I hate these long silences. What is she thinking about and why is she not telling me? "Do you need water or anything?"
She shakes her head and faces me, like she's looking at me, and way past me. "I need it all to stop."
24
I need it all to stop. Those were the last words out of Amelia’s mouth. She managed a lukewarm smile for the pilot when he joked that she was always in safe hands and shouldn't have worried. For me, she had nothing but a blank look.
The forty-five-minute ride to the house has her lost in scenery, looking out the window. I wonder if she's trying to avoid my gaze, but the truth is I don't think she remembers I'm here. I don't think she knows where she is. Amelia's just gone. I shake her to let her know we're here.
When she looks at me, my suspicions are confirmed. She seems surprised to see me. I step out of the SUV and help her out.
Carissa and Gia rush out of the house and I'm lucky not to be shoved aside. Their attention is on Amelia and she's not indifferent. She's holding on to them just as tightly but when she pulls back, and they get a good look, the other two women look at each other and then at me. Deep frowns, questions shine in their eyes.
Alec is by me and motions for everyone to go into the house. We are ushered into the family area. The playpen is empty.
"The brats are sleeping in their room. We can talk without them running all over the place sucking up the attention."
His tone doesn't fool me. He loves, thrives on the chaos the twins bring to his life. Carissa does too but, like on Block Island she seems to fill her time away from the kids by fussing over Amelia. Gia on one side, Carissa on the other, they flank her, taking turns asking her how she is, what they can do. They offer food and drinks, and I'm overwhelmed by their attention, but I don't think she notices.
Her gaze is fixed on her hands and all she manages are slight shakes of her head. I unglue my eyes from her to find Alec staring at me, concern written on every crinkled line between his eyebrows. We move to the bar side of the room. He hands me a bottle of water.
"Has she been like that for a while?"
I press the cold bottle to my forehead. I need a painkiller, or the pulsing in my forehead is bound to make me sick. I wish I could lay down and close my eyes ‘til it passes but I can't. Not with Amelia like that.
Alec's looking at me. I didn't answer him. "Sorry. Since we landed. She was a bit upset through the flight, but I think she saw my phone and everything came back." I pull out the offensive object. "By the way, I need a new phone."
"Jesus Christ."
"It crashed against the wall when I fell back." I don't know why I explain that. What difference does it really make?
"You could've broken your neck, Leo." He thumps my arm and that's as emotional as we're going to get but I have to look away from the pained look in his face. He looks at her again. "We heard her screaming. Those seconds until the guards got on the phone…"
I nod. "She thought I got in the car when she told me to go."
