Steel, p.14
Steel, page 14
"Just a few." He pauses and I hear noise in the background. "Does that mean—"
"You come here." It's Amelia's voice followed by baby babble and then, she laughs. Not just any laugh but it's the kind of laugh that always gets me. Spontaneous, lively, natural, sock-to-the-chest, like the first time I saw her. It was that laugh that yanked my gaze like a magnet, changed my whole game and set me on pursuit.
The knife twists in my chest.
"Sorry," Alec says.
"Are you really? It seems quite the coincidence that you call me and she just strolls in the room."
"Leo—"
I don't need this. She apparently doesn't need me. And Alec doesn't need to know that. No one does. She's fucking happy while I'm here destroying my muscles and in need of an ice bath. Fuck this. "That was uncalled for. Everything's okay over there so I'll just hang back here for another day or so."
26
Damn Gia.
I shove the tablet away and go back to my to-do list. I'm reviewing the color chart for Lash N Gloss. and placing each item in a file. I'm keeping a record for each shade. I save the file on Sassy Cariss, a play on caress and Carissa, and sigh aloud.
I barely slept all night. I've been enraptured by Queen Allora's saga. The former seventeen-year-old cheerleader, turned into a vampire queen, manages to catch the Hybrid King's heart because a bad-bitch-queen deserves nothing less than a badass hybrid to bite, fuck, and blood share all night.
I read the book cover-to-back-cover and the sex scenes twice. I survived the night. No matter how mad I am, on some level, at Gia for putting me on to this story, I am grateful to her and Queen Allora for keeping my mind occupied. Because her drama sucked me in. To the point it eclipsed my own for a few enjoyable hours.
Before I can question myself, I hit purchase on books two and three on my online account. Just between me, the computer and Queen Allora. The way things are shaping up, I'm going to need her help. Nope, not thinking about him. I have tons of other things I can spend my time on. I'm hopeful that we can catch and kill Sebastian soon. I need to get back to my life. In the meantime, I will keep developing my store brand.
I love the not dark-pink-yet-not-red I've chosen to call Glamorous Gee. Its namesake will love it too. I am sure.
The knock makes me jump and X-out of that browser tab. By the time I turn around, Gia and Carissa walk through the door, wearing thick, long, white robes. Carissa is holding a similar one in her hands.
Oh God. What do they have in mind now? Last evening, we spent hours online shopping, since I didn't bring anything but my purse with me. They had me buy clothes, body fragrances, and sheer sexy underwear. Things I'm pretty sure I won't need since I've already decided I'm headed back with Noah and Gia. I must play along for now, though.
"Joined a cult?"
Carissa gives me an I'm-drinking-the-Kool-Aid smile. "I'm so glad you're in a joking mood. We're thinking spa day. You know, massages, nails, toes, hair, cucumber infused water or champagne."
It's not that I don't want to go. I'm dying to. There's nothing in the world that I want to do more than relax and have someone massage the tension out of my shoulders and back. But I know them. They want to get me stuck somewhere so they can get me to open up about…him. Hell to the no.
"Nah. You guys go. I'm going to stay here and do some work."
Carissa eyes my computer as though looking for confirmation. Her teammate tags in.
"Come on, Mel. No one loves beauty days more than you and it's been so long since we've had one."
"Not true, we had one the day before your wedding." Oh, how I love it when I can side-step their traps.
Carissa smiles and taps her lips. "You're going to keep making this difficult, aren't you? That's fine, but I can stand here and bug you all day. The kids are with their father. I have nothing better to do than to annoy you, if you don't give me what I want. Not to mention, I already paid for the spa people and they're waiting downstairs. I'm sure you don't want that big, buff guy with the ginormous hands to stand around doing nothing for a whole day, when he can be working the kinks of your gorgeous skin. That would be a waste, wouldn't it, Gia?"
Gia slow-nods, her lips on a pretty pout.
I don't like this. Normally, I'm the one that gets to do this kind of bulldozing. Things are bad when the two of them tag-team me. Since they think they can manipulate the manipulator, I'll bust their bubble before they can get started.
"Fine, I'll go but only because I want to." I lift my hand to stop the big smiles and looks exchanged. "Here are my rules. No talking about Leandro, at any point. Better yet, no talk of any McLean men either, except Hudson. No getting me to talk feelings either. And no lectures, whatsoever."
"What the hell are we going to talk about then? Wait. No sex talk either?" Carissa asks.
"We can talk about sex." And I want to laugh because they’re baffled.
"Just not the men we get to have sex with on the regular?" Gia's face is hilarious.
"Nope. Those are my rules. Take them or you better pull up a chair because you're helping me name the rest of my lip shades."
They look at each other again. Carissa's eyes narrow and the smirk playing about her lips can only mean one thing, challenge is on. She'll find a way to talk about what she wants.
Two hours later, I'm melting in one of the pedicure chairs and ready to talk about my childhood if someone asks me.
"I want to marry him. Get me his phone number and address." I float back against the headrest, close my eyes, and enjoy the liquid pile of bones Mike the Masseuse turned me into.
"I want to marry my massage lady too. I think Alec would appreciate a second wife." Carissa's voice is dreamy.
"God, I feel good. Why don't we have spa days more often?" Gia asks.
I look over my shoulder and smile. "‘cause one of us is always on the brink of death. It's kind of hard to schedule with that kind of pressure?"
Widened eyes dissolve into a smile for the ages. "Welcome back, my love."
I laugh along with her. I do feel more like myself.
"Blue," Hudson says and swipes the crayon across my white T-shirt.
I open my mouth to say something, but Brook swipes her crayon not far from it. "Green."
"You guys are not supposed to color my shirt. You have to color the book." I shake my head at them but can't keep a straight face. Not when they're giving me that you-silly-goose smile. They'll color where they want.
"Flower." She hands me the crayon and I guess that's my cue to draw one. I start with a circle and draw the petals around it. I suck at drawing, always have, but I manage to impress the set of eighteen-month-old twins.
"It's pretty, right? What should we color it?" Hudson hands me the brown crayon and proceeds to giggle when I color the flower brown. Brook giggles too.
"I think red or pink is more customary," Alec says crossing the threshold into the family room. He plops down across from me and the kids leap on him.
It's no longer weird to see him like this, with kids hanging around his neck and pressing wet kisses on his face. The smile on his face transforms him. I no longer just see the hardcore crime boss we first met. I always think of how the kids have softened him. Of course, that's because I get to see this side of him. His enemies are still shitting their pants somewhere. He swings Brook in the air while Huddy claps and looks my way as if to say, “You see that?”
I smile. I have to. Two innocent children changed his life in ways that even Carissa couldn't.
Would our baby have had the same effect on Leandro? The pain thumps in my chest. Where the hell had that come from? I try not to think of that, ever, except like Doctor Jacinda told me, when I feel safe enough to let it in. This is in no way a safe situation.
"What's wrong?" Alec asks and the concern in his voice is something that's also no longer surprising to me. He's come to care for me like I for him. He's Carissa's husband and the father of the two little loves of our lives.
I clear my throat. "It's nothing. They love you so much. It's great to see."
He smiles, so beautiful, so open it seems bigger than his face. He begins to bounce his son in the same way he did his daughter.
My baby would be about a year right now. No, that's a lie. I know exactly how old she would be. I need to go back to my room now that Alec is here. Maybe I need a nap. Except I'm not tired, just relaxed.
"How did you get conned into babysitting?"
"Your wife was ready to pass out, so I told her to go nap and the newlyweds are, well, you know."
He rolls his eyes skyward. "When are they not? Anyway, that's what honeymoons are for and we cut theirs short."
I nod. There's nothing else I can say. I'm not married but if I were, I would be all over my husband, all the time. Because for me to be married I would have to be so in love I couldn't breathe without him. It's ridiculous, of course.
"You should go to him, Mel."
"What?" I choke out.
"The way the two of you feel about each other, it's not going to change. You need to deal with it."
I want to get up and walk out. I don't even talk to Gia and Carissa about this. I'm definitely not talking to someone on Leandro's side.
He puts Brook on my lap, trapping me there. Because I'm not going to put her down when she's leaning against my chest and playing with my hair. I shoot him the nastiest look I can muster.
He winks at me. "I've learned some things from you."
I snort. Alec places a hand on my wrist.
"I just want you to listen. Okay? I need a chance to talk to you. Will you give it to me?"
I don't want to, but I will. But not without letting him know what I think. "I think it's F"—my eyes drift to Hudson—"fracked up what you're doing to me. You all manipulated me into this moment."
"How Mel of us, right?" His face turns serious. "Please? A chance?"
I kiss the top of Brook's forehead. She’s nuzzling my chest. If she falls asleep, I always have an excuse to get up. "Okay."
"I've never seen Leo with anyone the way he is with you. From the first moment he met you and called me, I knew you would be trouble for him. He kept denying it and playing it off, but he can't anymore. He doesn't even bother to mask his feelings, not when you're in danger like this."
The lump in my throat grows larger with each word. "He pushed me away. I had already given in." I sound awful like I swallowed a pound of smoke.
"He's afraid of not being able to protect you because his mind is not on it like it should be. I'm breaking guy code here but this is important. I don't think either of you is going to be able to survive this separately. You're hurting each other, and your hurt is going to mess with your judgment."
"We hurt each other when we're together."
"How do you know? You've never been together. You've never both said, ‘let's give this a go.’"
I open my mouth only to close it and open it again. Nothing comes out.
"What do you both have to lose? Neither of you will be okay if the other tries to move on. He had a woman half in love with him that was everything he's always wanted. He didn't want Layla. He wanted you, Mel. He dumped her for you, though you had already told him he had no chance because you wouldn’t break the promise you made to Nelly."
The knot spreads in my throat until I can't breathe, can't think, but he doesn't relent.
"The way we live…nothing's promised to us. If Bas were to succeed, which he won't because we'll kill him, but would you want to die with doubts? Die without telling each other how you feel? You're both proud but do you love your pride more…"
My eyes fill and spill, the air flows fast and far down my windpipe and I breathe. He's right, I know he is. "He's gone. He left…me.”
“Yes, because he’s an asshole. I’ll tell you so no one else has to. He doesn’t think you need him.” I frown and he laughs. “You, Carissa, and Gia have this thing you do, where it feels like no one can penetrate the bond between you. You can make it look, at times, like you don't need anyone else. You love each other too hard, and your loyalty is too strong."
"You don't seem threatened."
"It takes a lot of sex and reassurances." He gives me a pointed look. "It's time, Mel. Don't you think? Time for you both to live for today."
Leandro pushed me away to protect me. What a dumbass. That's my dumbass, though, and I need to let him know.
"Okay, I'll go to him."
He smiles so much like his son it almost hurts. He reaches for my hand and the next second he's hugging me and kissing my cheek. "I need to tell you you’re my favorite and to thank you."
I pull back and frown at him. "For what?"
"Because you had the guts to do what I've always wanted to do but was unable to."
Pffed. "What's that?"
"You pulled a gun on Emilio and threatened to kill him." His eyes cloud, frost over. "Can I be honest with you?"
I nod.
"I've always wanted to kill him, but I didn't want Leo to hate me or to leave Lucy without a father."
"He doesn't deserve Leandro." I don't even know whose voice that is. Mine, as horrible as it is, does not sound like that.
“No, he doesn’t. That’s his loss.”
27
Bases loaded, bottom of the sixth, there’s knocking on my door and I couldn’t care less. “Not in the mood. Whatever it is, solve it on your own.”
When the knock comes again, I don’t bother moving, merely tip the bottle of Jack Daniel’s into my mouth and swallow. The venom no longer burns my throat, comfort already settling in. The incessant knocking finally stops. Good.
The door opens, two sets of footsteps click against the marble floors. I don't turn around. "You better have an excellent, top-notch, better-than-ever excuse to have opened that door or I'm going to disembowel both of you."
"Thank you, Adrian. I'll take it from here."
The whiskey sours in my mouth and I whip around. For a second I think I’ve finally lost it. My mind is playing dirty tricks or I've finally gone insane. After blinking several times, Amelia's still standing in my foyer clad in her skin-tight jeans, a fitted T-shirt and flats. A small leather jacket matches her shoes. I've never seen her wear flats before. I swear she's half my size. Her hair’s up in a ponytail that's still swinging, even after she stops moving.
“You’re short,” I finally manage, the more I look at her, the thirstier I become. Thankfully, Jack is here for my parched throat.
“Are you okay?” she asks, dropping her bag on the counter and walking into the family room.
I sip another mouthful.
“That’s going to make you sick.” She’s pointing to the bottle.
I’m offended. I’ve had a personal relationship with this bottle. It picked up right where the other left off. We’ve bonded and I’ve been filling it in on everything that’s happened ever since that day at Hector’s party when I met the pain in the ass across from me. “Jack is a friend. He would never hurt me.”
She chuckles. “Is that so?” She looks around and then back at me. “This is nice, Leandro. Really nice."
"Call me, Leo. My friends call me Leo." I wave the bottle of whiskey in her direction.
"Okay, Leo it is. Your home is very nice. Did you choose the decor or did you have it done?"
"Why are you here, Amelia?" I ask instead. I wish she would stop swaying.
"It's Mel. My friends call me Mel." She uses that snarky tone that comes so easy to her.
"Oh, sorry. Why are you here, Mel?"
"I came to talk to you but I think we better wait ‘til your friend Jack goes nite-nite." She finishes the sentence with a sigh and sits across from me on the couch.
"You can talk to me now. I keep no secrets from Jack." I look down because her rocking from side to side is making me dizzy. "Would you stay still?"
"Lean…Leo? Why don't you let me help you to bed? We can talk in the morning." She moves closer until she's directly in front of me and offers her hand. I ignore it and get up on my own. I walk to my room and she follows.
I catch a whiff of her perfume. She smells like heaven and it takes everything in me to keep walking and not turn around to bury my face in her hair.
She doesn't want me and the one thing Leandro Masseur doesn't do is beg. I lay down on my bed, the world spins and her fingers trail over my shoes. She removes one and then the other. She presses her hand on my forehead and offers me water. I close my eyes and turn away. And I pray. Pray I don't disgrace myself and beg her for…anything.
I've only been asleep for like two minutes and I wake up to the sunlight peering through the semi-closed blinds, whispers, and a woman's laughter. "How's my baby?"
Kid chatter follows.
Did I bring someone home last night? No, my pathetic ass doesn't do that anymore. I lift my head and sit up to try to see better. That's when the fuzzy drunken memories slap me upside the head. Two bottles of Jack Daniel’s, the game, Amelia. This time I hear her voice clearly and my head lolls to the side. It wasn't a dream. She's here, in my living room, inside my house.
The thought races through my head and I'm nauseous. Amelia's here, in my penthouse.
Why the fuck is she here?
I scramble for the shower. My head's pounding like a motherfucker so I turn the water on the cold side. I still gasp when it hits my skin but once I dip my head under the spray, my body adjusts. I'll live. At least until I have to face the hellion again.
"I'm glad you find this funny, Carissa."
"Come on. You have to admit it's a little bit funny. ‘Jack would never hurt me.’" She dissolves into laughs again. I can't help it, I giggle along with her. Even Hudson joins in.
"He's going to want to die when he wakes up."
"Yeah, he is. He drank almost two bottles. The soup should help." Fuck. Why did I say that? I feel myself go red and her smile goes wide.
"You cooked. That's…domestic of you."
"Shut up."
Huddy settles with her tablet and Carissa drops a big kiss on his head. "So, how are you going to start?"
