Steel, p.22
Steel, page 22
"Don't see," she says.
"Let me show you." My knees almost buckle at the male voice. Oh God in Heaven. Images flip through the phone and my face appears. Brook squeals.
"You know her?" Sebastian asks.
Brook's hair bouncing along with her head. "Meh."
"Yes, that's Mel." He puts a hand over her head and the bile rises up in my throat. "You want Mel to come get you?"
She looks up at the camera then and smiles. I won't ever be the same again. Not after this. Not after seeing her trusting face look at me and smile.
"Brooklyn, look at the camera and say, come get me Mel."
"Get me…Meh."
"You're a good girl." He presses a kiss to her forehead. "Now go play with the toys over there."
She goes to the corner and starts playing, oblivious to the madman, to the part she plays in this sick game. He replaces her beautiful face with his psychotic one.
"I don't think I need to explain to all of you how this will go, right?"
"She's your flesh and blood." Gia says, her voice dropping at the end.
"That's why she's still alive. I won't hurt her. I have no intention of doing that. As a matter of fact, I'm dying to give her back to you. All I ask is Mel in exchange."
Leandro's hand sneaks around my waist and pulls me close. I already knew that, I’d expected it when I saw my photo but everyone around me hadn’t.
"She's my daughter. Take me." Carissa sobs into the screen, every word coloring her voice in painful red.
"I don't want you. I want Mel but I know this is not an easy decision for some of you. I'm looking at you, Leo. I'll give you some time to think. I'll call back."
"No—"
I'm frozen, staring at Leandro, who's looking at his phone screen and not at me. Sebastian has Brook, my head screams over and over. He has Brook. Our Brook. He'll only give her back if he gets me. He outsmarted all of us because while we were plotting to protect me, he had a bigger, more sinister plan. Not only does Leandro lose me but he has to let me go.
A whimper escapes my throat and panic settles over my heart. He'll have to let me go and that will destroy him. I close my eyes and let my shoulders sag.
My mind races around the world, through time. We’ve been playing checkers while Sebastian’s been playing chess. But he can take his chess and shove it up his ass. He’s not going to win this. When I open my eyes again, the five faces stare at me. My girls stare at me with forbidding eyes, but I turn to Leandro and something, my heart, everything shatters.
My husband knows. He already knows. I don't know how he knows. He knows what I will say. His eyes are like he's taken a blow, like he's already lost me.
In his eyes I see us, finally together, our wedding, closing the door on the past, on my sister's death, the miscarriage, the years of agony. I see us embracing who we are with all our fucked-up faults and the almost obsessive way we love each other.
But I see Brooklyn too, my beautiful, laughing niece-goddaughter whom I love like she’s mine. I see the sibling-murdering asshole, not only his own but everyone else's. I won't let him do to Huddy what he did to me, what he did to Leandro, what he did to Alec and Noah, what he did to all of us. I can't let him take away our light. I won't. Not when I can do something.
"Can you all give me a few minutes with Leandro?" How the hell does my voice sound so calm? How do I manage to say it without crying?
Carissa jumps in front of me. She looks pale, ready to pass out, but the fire is in her eyes and if I leave this up to her, we will end up having it out here. "I can’t let you do this," she says.
Her voice, tight like she pushed the words out with her tongue, wrings my heart, squeezes so tight that my eyes sting. I want to hug her but that would be the worst thing I could do. We would end up a mess of tears and we don't have time for that. So, I push her away, because it's what we both need right now. "I want to talk to my husband, alone."
I sound like the biggest bitch in the world. Even my own heart chills all the way to its center, that's how cold my voice sounds. My glacial arrow hits its target. Carissa winces, gasps softly. Gia is beside us. She says nothing but the look she shoots me, the tremble in her lip, it threatens to drag me down, below the floor. She knows too and I can't bear it. Gia wraps her hand around Carissa's arm. "Let her talk to Leo first."
I don't dare look at Gia again, even to thank her. I look at Leandro, lose myself in his hardened jaw, his fisted hand, the self-control he's barely holding on to.
The door closes softly but the click blasts through the room, shaking the walls, the floors, my soul.
He's on me, his hands on my arms, his eyes on mine. My heart begs me to stay silent. If I don't say the words, they don't need to come true. But they slip past my tongue and hurt us both. "I can't do this without you."
I freeze him for less than a breath. "I'm not letting you. You can't, Amelia. The answer's no."
This is too much. Too much emotion. Too much fear. Too much hurt. Too much fucking regret. I press my hands on his chest, tilt my face to him but he doesn't kiss me. "I won't make this decision without you. If you say no, I won't."
Leandro swallows loud, his breath washes over my face but his hands tighten on my arms. "You're going to do this."
His voice tears me. How the hell are there still whole pieces of me? He pulls me closer and I wish, God, how I wish I could curl into him and fuse into his chest, hide in there.
"We have no choice. You, me, Carissa and Alec, Gia and Noah, we've all made this life a choice. The only innocent ones, who never asked for this, are Huddy and Brook. I have to go in for her."
He shakes me a little, his face taking that edge, that red darkness only anger can bring. "What's to stop him from killing you both? You know he would love to, and even worse, he's capable of it."
"But we have to try. If something were to happen to her and we didn't try…"
"Amelia…" He breathes in and presses his lips, as though the breath hurts. "Your heart, that thing I've been wanting so badly, is doing all the thinking here. We have to use our head."
"Yea, let's use our heads, too, but in the meantime, I need to go and be there with Brook. Someone needs to be there to hold her and reassure her."
He crushes me on his chest. "I don't want to lose you. I just got you. You're mine. How can I let you go?"
I can't breathe but who the hell cares. "You're not going to lose me. We need to outsmart him and kill him. "
43
We walk back to the room, hand in hand. Amelia’s coiled around mine, tightening the closer we get to the group. I don't know who she's trying to reassure more, me or herself. I can't deny the comfort in having her this close to me, feeling her warm skin next to mine. I need to keep my head straight, stay focused, not let emotion or thoughts of “what if” in. We have a hard task ahead and this is the first hurdle, buy in from our family. Jesus, I fucking sound like her now.
My gaze collides with Alec and in a fleeting second, his Adam's apple bobs, and his eyes flash with emotions that I don't think I've ever seen my friend show. I've seen him through many things. A dead brother, dead parents, assassination attempts, almost losing his wife and kids. I'm probably the only other man that has seen him cry.
I looked him in the eye through all of it, but I can't now. "We need you to listen to us, don't say anything until you've heard everything. "
Carissa's already shaking her head. She looks like a blurred shadow of the woman who was smiling mere hours ago, watching her best friend get married in a ceremony she and Gia orchestrated down to the wall of flowers, and the exquisite cake.
"We talked about it. Amelia has to go and get Brook."
The anguished cry comes from Gia, who's got a hand on Carissa's arm as though she's the only thing holding the blonde back from a complete freak out.
"No. Mel can't," Noah says, his voice strained. "He will kill them both. We can find another way to save Brook. Without losing someone. Sebastian has no honor, no conscience. He killed Shel, who was almost a part of himself, and felt no remorse."
"We're not losing anyone. We're going to execute a plan and we are going to kill him, and both Brook and Amelia will come home."
Everyone stares at me like I've lost my mind. I think I may have, too. What man tries to convince a group of people that the best recourse is to send his wife into the hands of a man that hates him? A man who hates him enough to kill his way through a list of women and who plans on making Amelia's death the crowned piece of his revenge.
"Leandro's right. We have the resources, the brains and the power to outsmart and kill Sebastian. We aren't worth shit as organizations if we don't." Her voice is soft, un-Amelia-like. I know she's afraid, but her determination flourishes over her fear.
She's afraid and her husband can't protect her. I swore I would never let anything happen to her. I can't protect her. I couldn't protect her sister from Sebastian and now I am letting her walk in, free, voluntarily and with my blessing.
Amelia looks at me, like she senses my weakening resolve. She smiles, touches our rings together. It's a subtle reminder of our talk, why we need to do this, how important this is for us, for our friends, for our family.
This chick is badass, in every sense of the word, and for once, that fact is not a source of pleasure to me. I wish she would cower and hide in my arms and tell me she needs me to protect her. I could lock her up in a room to save her from herself, but the truth is, this is the woman I married. Though, I wouldn’t survive if I lost her. I have to let her go and make sure I don't lose her. I won't lose her.
"We already called my connect at the FBI and Doctor Jacinda Smith is on her way. We are going to get a profile. Amelia has been talking to her forever about Sebastian during her sessions. She can help us find ways to get to him. The Ops will install a tracker and help us come up with a plan to get to him.
We need new, unmarked vehicles so we can follow Amelia on her way there.
Noah pulls out his phone and steps away. "I'll secure the cars."
Amelia nods to Gia, who calls her people to alert them we need more manpower.
Carissa and Alec just stand there, watching us, not saying anything. Amelia moves toward her friend. "Carissa…"
But Carissa shrugs her off and instead comes to stand in front of my face. "I want my daughter safe, in my arms, more than anything in the world. I would do anything to get her back but…this feels like we’re sending Mel to her death? I don’t want to send my best friend to her death when I'm not sure Brook's—"
Her voice cracks and she holds her stomach. Her words just shot me like a canon, putting a hole through me and exposing me for the fraud that I am. Someone who shouldn't call himself a man for even allowing this idea to fester. I can't let Amelia do this. I just can't.
Carissa walks away and Amelia shoots me a please-forgive-her look over her shoulder. "I'll go talk to her. Remember, we are doing the right thing. We are doing this to get Brook back. That's what matters."
Alec moves closer and tries to say something. He has to swallow a few times but he finally clears his throat and speaks. "I would never ask you to do this. You shouldn't need to send your wife out there, but I know this is her doing. I know she needs to do this and you are both sacrificing for Brook. That takes balls and I don't know how Carissa and I can ever repay that."
And with that, the resolve is back. Amelia's right. We can't let the people we love lose their child without trying. "We have to protect Amelia. I'm only letting her in if I'm sure we can get her out and kill his ass once and for all."
Alec smacks my arm in approval.
"Brook is important to us. We made this decision together, for Brook as much as for you and Carissa. I wish to God that fucker had asked for me."
"No, this is all about me. I'm the one that took his rightful position."
I shake my head. "Your grandfather chose you and this is the reason why. Sebastian never had the temperament for this. He would have run down the business his first year. He's too thin-skinned, too arrogant, too full of himself, to head the McLeans."
"You're right, man, and we have to use all that to take him out. Come on, what else do you need right now?"
His question brings me back to the task I'm trying to distract myself from. My wife going into the hyena’s cave.
"Call your other FBI person. We need the help of a surveillance expert, one of their techies. I have an idea of where to put the camera."
"Leo, Carissa doesn't mean…"
I chuckle. "Like we've said plenty of times, we know who they are to each other. Amelia will convince her."
"I don't know. If we lose…If we lose Brook, something will die in us. But losing the person that has been there all your life, that has stood by you no matter what danger may befall her? How do you lose someone like that and be okay?"
I nod, understand, bleed inside because of it. Alec has been my only family and then he and Noah until The Trinity. Given the life we live, I would think we would be ready to lose someone in our inner circle. We're not. I'm not. And no matter what fucking goes down, I won't lose my wife.
I catch up with Carissa in front of the door to the children’s room. She reaches for the doorknob, but I grab onto her hand. Her eyes shoot to mine but it’s so brief, the next second she’s staring at our shoes.
“I need to check on my son,” she says, shooting for forceful, like I did when I said I needed to talk to my husband alone. She doesn’t accomplish it. Her pain reverberates on every word, accentuating that I’m doing the right thing.
“Your son is sleeping, oblivious to everything and we need to talk.”
“About what? About how I couldn’t protect my daughter and now you’re sacrificing your life to bring her back?”
I don’t know what pisses me off more, that she thinks this is her fault or that she can’t fucking look me in the eye. “Why don’t we talk about the fact that I’m fucking coming back? That Brook and I will fucking walk out of there and that asshole is going to die tonight? But I can’t fucking do that and worry about you at the same time. So, you need to pick yourself up and put your ass back together.”
She flinches, color exploding over her face. Her hand fists and she takes a step towards me, her face so dark she could incinerate me with her eyes. Her mouth drifts open and I can almost see the fuck-you-bitch hanging from her lips. But she stops short of reaching me and her gaze drops to her shoes. She turns away and goes into the room, closing the door behind her.
Fuck, I almost had her.
Alec comes up next to me. “That was a good try. I’ll go talk to her and get her to help me make the calls to put a plan in motion.”
“I’ll go back to Leandro.”
He puts his arm on my shoulder. “Mel, I can’t thank you enough—”
Oh, man. I don’t want to hear this right now. I don’t want to be thanked. I just want to stop being afraid. But I can’t tell him that. He’s dependent on me bringing his child back.
“Then don’t thank me. Please. I’m not doing anything that you wouldn’t do for Leandro’s child.”
“And your child.” He gives me a hug and walks in the room Carissa disappeared into.
On the way back to Leandro, I find Gia. She latches on to my hand. Her eyes are bigger than I’ve ever seen them. She takes a small breath and wraps her other hand over our intertwined ones.
I exhale a breath I didn’t know I was holding. “You know, I can breathe because of you. You give me hope. You made it through this. I pray I can be strong as you.”
She blinks away the tears and smiles. “You’re stronger than me. I went in to meet Declan, ready to die if I had to. You don’t have that option. You have to live for Brooke. For Leo. For all of us.” She presses her lips together. “You have to come back. I can’t lose my best friend.”
I hug her tight. I’ve been apart from everyone in my life for long periods of time. The longest I’ve been apart from Gia, since we were born, are the seven months she spent in Detroit. I breathe again and pull away.
“Come on, we can’t cry. We have a plan to execute and you’re the only one with experience that can tell me what to expect.”
She swallows a couple of times and nods. We resume walking. “Keep your eyes on the prize the whole time and your ears open. He’ll probably say shit about Leo to get a rise out of you. Don’t fall for it. Wait for your opportunity and when you go for it, go all the way. You have hell’s temper, Mel. But I’ve never seen anyone placate people and distract them like you do. Use that.”
I nod, feeling a little stronger. When we get to the office, Leandro is there with Jack, one of our operatives, and Doctor Jacinda. She’s four-foot-ten, with brown hair and eyes so kind they make you want to confess everything you’re feeling. She’s always been able to make me feel comfortable enough to tell her everything that crosses through my brain.
She takes three steps toward me and I find myself in my third hug in the last few minutes. “Congratulations on your wedding, my dear,” she whispers in my ear. “And oh my, he’s everything you’ve described and he loves you like you do him.”
I meet Leandro’s eyes over her shoulder and warmth floods my whole body. He’s mine and we’re going to be happy. Bas is not taking that from us.
Doctor Jacinda pulls back. “Your husband explained everything. For what you’re planning and who you’re dealing with, you’re going to need to steel yourself.”
I nod. She’s stokes a fire inside me but puts it out with her next words.
“This man is a narcissist who lacks empathy. Your opportunity lies in the fact that he won’t shoot you or go for the easy death. He has to make it personal and slow, so Leandro can feel all the emotions Bas can’t.”
44
"You have to be precise. Don't let down your hair unless you have a clear path."
