Heart storms, p.15
Heart Storms, page 15
Gabe loved she took his hand, even if it was out of fear. “Look, this gondola is our own little room. You’re safe.” They stepped in and took a seat.
She looked around. “Stay next to me. Don’t move.”
With a big grin, he said, “No problem there,” and he slid up next to her, shoulder to shoulder, still holding her hand.
As the giant wheel turned, taking on more riders and climbed higher, Jade let go of his hand and put her arm around his waist to grab onto something solid. “I have a terrible sensation in the pit of my stomach like I’ll fall. I’m not sure if I like this.”
Pointing to a red ‘call’ button, Gabe said, “We can press this anytime you’re uncomfortable and the operator will let us get off.”
“Oh, good.” But her body was not convinced as a chill passed through her.
Gabe, feeling her shudder, put his arm around her shoulder. “Is this okay, to hold you this way?”
“You mean give me the Rick side-hug? It’s more than okay; it’s preferable right now.”
“This will be a great ride,” he said looking not at the vista but at her.
Jade relaxed, realizing there was no swaying as they climbed to the apex and the view was spectacular. The sky was flawlessly blue. They saw for miles up and down the coastline. “This is breathtakingly beautiful.”
“You can’t see this view unless you’re in a helicopter or airplane. It’s nice to enjoy it in this safe bubble, moving slowly and quietly. I love the perspective of the world from up here.”
“It’s truly amazing.”
For a while they said nothing in awe of the spectacular views.
Gabe pointed to the horizon. “Look at the ocean—you can’t see the other side. It looks infinite, but it leads to land somewhere on the African coast.”
“It’s one of those things that just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not there.”
“Like the sun at night, or the moon during the day,” Gabe said.
Jade came back with, “Yeah. Or like the possible spirit floating around the inn.”
“That, too. And how about invisible things you can’t see but are real and there?”
“Like?”
He mulled ideas for a few seconds. “Memories, faith, happiness.”
Jade snuggled closer to him. “Sadness and love.”
“Yes,” Gabe said with a somber tone, “Exactly like love.” He pulled her in to him.
“Why did you just get serious?”
“Being up this high, seeing miles and miles of the earth from above, the vast ocean meeting the immense stretches of land gives you a different perspective on our world, on us.” He pointed below to the ground. “Look how small the people are down there—like ants, like little specks of dust compared to the water and land. It broadens your horizons but makes you feel insignificant; makes you realize what’s important in life. It’s not the scurrying around from activity to activity like the ants building the anthill. What’s important are those invisible things we feel, for ourselves and each other. It sets us apart from the animals.” Gabe was silent for a while.
Jade continued with the same train of thought. “It’s true. Our emotions and actions either connect us or separate us from other people. When we die, we don’t take our money or jobs or status or anything material with us. I believe all we take is the love in our hearts. That’s why I believe love, and our connections to our loved ones, are the real meaning of life.”
“And the meaning of loss, too. Hatred and war, killing, the bad things. Do you think we take those with us too?”
Jade leaned her head against his shoulder, her mind clearer suspended in mid-air above the clatter and crowds of life below. “We might take the bad stuff with us, too, as part of our memory. My guess is if you die with hatred in your heart, it gets resolved somehow, possibly put aside into your karma as something your soul or spirit has to deal with eventually. Or it might get resolved when the person you hated or wronged, or who hated and wronged you, dies, and you meet in whatever the next place is to figure it out.”
“You mean like heaven?”
“I don’t call it any particular name. Religions tend to label things. It’s my belief when we leave this body, there is a place, another plane of existence we move to, and in that place, there is no room for anything but love. Maybe it’s a place made of love, and gives life, new life to us.”
Gabe squeezed her tight and kissed the top of her head. “I love how you think and what you believe. Being around you gives me hope. I wish all people would think and act more like you.”
“Oh, how boring. Life’s about diversity. It’s how we learn. Besides, I’m no angel all the time.”
“You are to me.” He put a quick kiss on her cheek and touched his forehead against the side of hers.
Jade loved the feel of him—as if he belonged there with her. His kiss was so natural an action, with no expectations beyond the moment. “Thank you,” she whispered, and kissed his cheek, too.
***
Later they enjoyed a casual dinner at an oceanfront café, still basking in the glow of the ride, the words and emotions they shared. They ate great seafood and drank cold beer. They found a bar with a band and danced to lively music, talked and laughed as if they’d been the best of friends forever. It reminded Jade of the times she and Rick worked together and a bond formed between them. But she reminded herself Rick would never spend a day with her like this, would never share his deepest thoughts like Gabe had. Thoughts of Rick waned especially when Gabe looked at her with those eyes like pools of deep water, full of possibilities for the future.
Before Gabe’s truck reached her house to drop her off, he said, “It’s only ten o’clock, but I guess it’s too late to have a drink together, huh?”
“It would be nice, but we shouldn’t with work tomorrow and all.”
“And all what?” His look was of craving something he couldn’t have.
“You know. This was an amazing day. I like you so much, Gabe. We said we’d take this slow, though. With the things we shared, I don’t trust myself sitting with you in front of the fire with a glass of wine, with you making me laugh and feel good.”
“I’m good at making you feel good, aren’t I?”
“Yes, and you’re what I’m afraid of.”
Gabe jumped out his door, walked over, helped her out of the truck and took her hands. “Before you leave, would you be afraid of a kiss goodnight, a real kiss?”
“Yes.”
“What a shame,” he said placing a light kiss on her cheek, testing her reaction by lingering and waiting for her response. It was obvious to him she felt exactly as he did, but he gave her the courtesy of making her own move.
Jade sensed the electricity in the air between them. She’d never experienced such charged energy with any man. Was it his technique, his charm, his sexiness? No—she had experienced those things before, and they eventually wore off. What he had was unusual, deep and directly connected to the same elements in her. It was physically impossible to back away from his lips on her cheek.
She turned her mouth toward his, giving him the answer he wanted. He kissed her so softly, with lips warm and luscious. She melted under his spell, a merging of body and emotions that would linger into tomorrow leaving a swath of desire. Even without words to describe it in the days ahead, the feeling would resurrect in their bodies.
***
When they met at work the next morning—he’d been busy in the kitchen, she was making her rounds with housekeeping—they looked at each other from afar and their heat spread in the air between them. Jade felt like a river pulled toward an inevitable waterfall. He was the cliff and she had no choice but to flow up to him and over his edge.
When Gabe saw Jade, heat rose in him like he was a square of rich chocolate melting in a hot pan. He had to look away from her or he’d completely liquify. Dangerous, she was. He called her later and told her so.
Her reply? “We’re dangerous together. Now I understand why you’re a ‘bad boy’ in the best kind of way.”
Gabe thanked her, hung up and swayed around the kitchen dancing to the salsa music he heard in his head. He couldn’t remember being this happy, ever. Nope, I’ve never been this happy in my entire life. His only hope was for it to never go away.
***
Even with their friendship blooming into something more, Jade and Gabriel continued to be ultra-discreet at work. They stopped even small displays of affection, not wanting to risk
being seen. No one suspected they were seeing each other the way they were truly seeing each other.
A couple weeks later, Rick noticed Jade left on time most nights, unusual for her. She’d hurry out the door with an air of excitement and he suspected something was different in her world. He had no right to ask given his situation, but still he wondered.
***
On a Friday night she and Gabe were planning dinner and a movie in Myrtle Beach, she finished work early and rushed toward the door when Rick stopped her.
“Hey Jade, where you going so fast? You late for something?”
She spun around as if he had yanked her by a rope around her waist. Thinking quickly, she said, “No, not late, just want to get home. I’ve finished work and taking advantage of the off-season to get some ‘me’ time.”
Rick walked toward her, smiling. “That’s something I don’t get much of.”
Jade walked toward the door. “You really ought to try it. Some relaxation would do you good.”
“It sure seems to have agreed with you.” As she opened the door to leave, he said, “What do you say we take some downtime together? Do something fun?”
Jade wanted to say, ‘too little, too late,’ but with the door closing slowly behind her, she waved and said, “Yeah, maybe. See you tomorrow.” She walked at a good clip to her car hoping he wouldn’t follow.
Rick didn’t follow. He retreated to his office thinking Jade’s response odd. He assumed she’d jump for joy at the long-awaited invitation. But he still had a pile of accounting paperwork to do. Who am I kidding? I never get a night off at a decent hour. Planning for when business might be a lot slower, he thought, Maybe January. Come winter I’ll take some time off to spend with her. But the odd breeze from nowhere wafted in around him again, now familiar but turning cool and seeming to merge with his intuition: ‘Winter will be too late.’ The message seemed to know better than he, yet he never took its advice. He ignored it wanting to believe it wasn’t real. He was capable of only so much with his feelings for Jade, being still stuck in his loss, especially apparent when he sat alone at night with everyone gone home to their families and lives.
The breeze returned again, coaxing him to listen to his own instincts: Face it—you only asked her out because you knew she’d say no. Rick trembled with the chill and the truth in the air. He shook it off and disagreed: There’s nothing wrong with patience and waiting for the right time. Good things come to those who wait.
The draft whipped around him, infusing him with another gut feeling impossible to ignore. ‘But the early bird gets the worm.’ Rick let out a nervous chuckle. You can’t come up with something better than stupid clichés? The draft grew stronger and filled with a familiar scent making him giddy, as if in love and brought his memory back in a flash. I know that perfume—Leah wore it. Those clichés had also been Leah’s favorites and she spoke them regularly. Impossible as it seemed, he realized what the breeze held—Leah’s presence around him. But instead of comforting him, it tried to help him. He supposed if it really was her spirit, she saw and knew things he didn’t. Should I be afraid or thankful or call a ghost-buster? Instantly, he remembered who had come up with the name Spirit in the Wind—Leah, as if she suspected she wouldn’t live in body to enjoy the inn but would stay on in spirit. No; it’s impossible. I must be going crazy.
A gentle wind brushed past him again, still trailing her scent and clarifying his thoughts. You’re not crazy. Leah knew she wouldn’t be around and she’s trying to help now.’ Rick quickly scooped up his work and left for home, shaking all the way to his car. He got in and closed the door, turned on the ignition, looked at the clock, but instead of pulling away he began to cry. He couldn’t stop and sobbed until he had no tears left.
About a half-hour later, completely exhausted, he calmed himself enough to drive home. Once there, he poured a vodka on ice and drank it down. The heat moved down his throat into his stomach and he churned from the inside out. The churning turned to longing—more than any time in his life. He just released some pent-up sorrow from losing Leah and let it go. The longing might mean he’d made a little room in his heart for something other than grief. Now there might be room for feelings for Jade. Maybe he was ready to take the next step with her.
Chapter 19
By mid-October, the weather was generally clear with perfect seventy degrees by day and sweater-cool at night—refreshing temperatures after the hot summer. The inn was usually fifty to sixty percent filled, more on the weekends. Jade’s schedule eased up and she left on time most nights. Rick continued to ask her to go to lunch or out after work, but she always came up with an excuse. He still wasn’t available on weekends with the inn full. Jade helped him out on Saturdays with check-ins, but she claimed Sunday as her official day off and disappeared.
Gabe had to prepare food daily, but he and Jade met up after cocktail hour to do something fun into the night, although never ending up at either of their homes—too tempting of fate was Jade’s reasoning. But not Gabe’s—he went along with it even though he couldn’t wait to tempt fate.
Rick badgering Jade to go out was so out of character, she was both worried and angry—worried something was wrong with him, and ticked off because it nagged at her, invading her time with Gabe.
“Why does it bother you?” Gabe asked on their usual walk on the beach before dinner.
“Because he’s confusing me. He’s acting out of character and not saying why. Yet he’s not aggressive enough to pursue me or come right out and give me a reason. Not that I want to know.”
“Why not know? Are you afraid of what you’ll find out?”
Jade took a deep breath of ocean air to clear her head. As she looked out over the tumbling waves, her true feelings rose above her fears. “I suppose I am afraid Rick has worked on his issues and is ready to take the next step I asked of him a long time ago.”
Gabe stopped and turned her around to face him. He was afraid of her answer, but he had to know. “If he is ready, do you want to take the next step with him?” Jade walked again, but he grabbed her arm to stop her. “We’re not going anywhere until you answer.”
Staring beyond him into the sky and over the sea, Jade searched her heart. She’d been grappling with the same question the last couple weeks with turning Rick’s invitations down. Sometimes, with the way he looked at her or rubbed her arm with affection or hugged her, warm feelings sparked inside her. With the considerate things he’d do, she was tempted to give in and go out with him. But why would she date him after all this time and her relationship with Gabe? Would she do it out of curiosity or to give Rick momentary happiness? Or because she really wanted to know Rick better?
The battle had gone on inside her too long. She and Gabe had not been intimate but emotionally they were far beyond ‘friends.’ They’d kissed on the cheek a lot, but on the lips only once, always stopping before going further. Did she love him? She wasn’t sure. Rick’s interference might’ve kept her from falling in love with Gabe. It could’ve been the ‘what-ifs’ with Rick that kept Gabe at her arm’s length. Maybe Rick knew exactly what he was doing, injecting doubt about any feelings she might have for Gabe.
Jade sensed a tangible shift in the air around Gabe. He rubbed his eyes and turned away from her, looking out to sea. He drew in and let out a deep breath with a huge sigh. “Oh, God.”
Jade practically felt his spirit leave him with despondency taking its place.
He picked up a big shell and threw it hard and far out into the ocean. “Your delay in answering is your answer.”
“No, Gabe.”
“Yes, it is. If you were sure you were over Rick and not curious about what would happen if you dated him seriously, you’d have answered me right away.” He threw another shell like he pitched a fast ball. “There’s a big difference between us at this point. You’re confused even though you care about me a lot. I’m clear because I care about you beyond friendship. Exactly how do you feel about me?”
She took his arm in affection and pulled him to her. “If I said my feelings for you are strictly platonic friend, I’d be lying. Our relationship is honest, close and deep, and we’re very physically attracted to each other, but it’s not necessarily love.”
He faced her. “No. We never talk about love, do we?”
They resumed walking and she kicked into the sand. “No, we don’t.”
“I don’t want to ask why. I’m falling in love with you even without making love. This is a first for me, Jade, a huge first. I’ve never felt about anyone the way I do you. I’ve never held off physical intimacy out of wanting the relationship on a deeper level, a better, more real level.”
His raw emotions and true feelings made Jade wince knowing she didn’t feel exactly the same. Her heart broke the same way as when Rick hadn’t returned her feelings. Hot tears collected mixing with the thick, salty air and she gulped for breath. Or was she stifling a sob? She would hurt Gabe deeply with her words, but she couldn’t deceive him. “Why can’t we keep on the way we are until we know for sure what we want next?”
“I am sure of what I want next. We’ll continue on as before because it’s what you want. With Rick now having the courage to see you outside of work, he won’t give up. You and I both see what he’s doing—trying to drive even the smallest, slightest wedge between us or raise doubts in you about your feelings for me.”
