Heart storms, p.22
Heart Storms, page 22
Now it made sense. She was in love. With Gabe, though? How could it be? They damn near came to blows when they first met, couldn’t stand each other. Especially Jade. She hadn’t liked or trusted Gabe. How the hell did he turn her around? Was it purely sex? He guessed Jade wouldn’t have a sexual relationship without deeper feelings. There were so many gaping holes in any theory he came up with. He had to confront her because if it were true, it would be a huge problem with them working together. One of them would have to go. He didn’t want to lose Jade. But if he let Gabe go, she’d hate him, never forgive him, and she’d quit anyway.
Rick gazed out the window at the view he loved so much. “Where’s the thunder now to guide me with what to do?” It was a clear but cold day, the ocean calm, and the tide out. He wanted the same clarity and peace inside himself. Then she knocked on the door and his nerves turned his bones to jelly.
“Hey, Jade. Come on in, close the door, please and have a seat.”
“Uh oh. This sounds serious.” Jade flashed him a big smile. “I’m not getting fired, am I?”
When he looked into the exquisite face of this woman he loved everything about, Rick’s heart shattered thinking of her and Gabe, her in bed with Gabe, making love with Gabe, loving Gabe. Those images were the worst part causing agony so deep he felt faint.
Jade noticed beads of perspiration on his forehead and his pale skin. “What’s wrong, Rick? You look sick.”
There was no way to segue into this or soften it. “Jade, someone told me you and Gabe were having a relationship, an intimate one. Is it true?”
Her cheeks flamed crimson. “What? Who told you?”
“It doesn’t matter. Is it true? Please tell me the truth.”
“If it were true, why would you even care?”
“Because you two work closely together and you both work for me.”
“I don’t see how it’s a problem.”
“In your contract it says nothing about this. I never expected it would be an issue in a small business like mine. But being married is a huge problem, especially with two top, key employees.”
“Who said anything about marriage?” She inadvertently clutched at the diamond on her necklace. When Rick noticed, she let go.
“Be straight with me, Jade. I deserve the truth.”
“Rick, when I interviewed with you, you asked me to keep your secret and I have. You said I got to keep mine. Well, I’m taking you at your word. I’m keeping mine.”
“But if it’s true you and Gabe are a couple, it’s more than being your private business and your secret—because with you both working here, your relationship is public.”
Jade got up, walked to the window and stared at the ocean. It bothered her—Rick demanding the truth. He didn’t deserve it, not with keeping all his secrets, with rejecting her for over a year. He had his chances and never confided in her. “If you cared at all about keeping me in your personal life knowing I had fallen in love with you, you’d have confided in me these secrets about your ‘partner,’ the loss of them, and your debilitating issues surrounding it.”
“I’ve explained to you I needed more time, but, obviously, you couldn’t wait.”
“I waited over a year. You told me flat-out you didn’t want to draw me into your life and issues because you’d hurt me. Don’t you realize most people feel the same way when they enter into a new relationship? You’re no different. Gabe’s life has had more tragedy than you can imagine. He’d been so damaged and had such a chip on his shoulder, nothing could get through to him. Yet he had the courage and strength to figure it out, to talk, learn, grow, to trust, to change his mind, his attitude and his ways. He had no intention of loving a woman ever again in his life after what he’d been through.”
Rick frowned, his eyes went dark with pain and his voice lowered. “But then he met you. Right?”
She turned to face him. “Yes. Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m done hiding. Gabe and I started as adversaries. Eventually, we confronted each other not with hate and judgment, but out of treating someone with respect, the way we wanted to be treated. We recognized the deep pain in each other and instead of running from it like you did, we shared it.”
With a snide smirk and contempt in his voice, Rick said, “And I suppose you became friends during this process?”
She sat across from him again. “I hear your sarcasm. Why do you have to be condescending? Our friendship started when I confronted him on his racist comments. He listened, he learned. We’d talk and share ideas and our observations. We got closer but only in friendship. The deeper relationship started the day you rejected my invitation to dinner, the day the thunder roared when I suggested you were making a mistake. You arrogantly said it didn’t matter what God said. Your words affected me to my core, and I knew then there’d never be a chance with us.”
Jade crossed her arms in front of her, looking with direct intent into Rick’s eyes. “On that day I asked God, or whatever the powers who watch over these things, to speak, to help, to give me a sign, and the next voice I heard was Gabe’s. As I stood right outside this window with you watching, he called and invited me for a drink the same night. I figured, what the hell, I might as well have some fun. Our relationship grew from then on as good and trusted, loving friends. We spent a lot of time together sharing experiences and our pasts, the way friends do. We enjoyed each other’s company—talking, laughing, relaxing, and even crying together. We were purely platonic for a long time.”
“What made you move the relationship past friendship?”
“None of your business, Rick.”
He walked to the window, unable to look at her. “Well, there’s my answer. Physical attraction moved you past friendship, meaning you are in a sexual relationship with him.”
Jade’s head wanted to blow off with how he tricked her into admitting something without saying it. In her fury, she didn’t care about hurting his feelings. What does it matter now? He knows, so I might as well let him have it. “I’m not in a sexual relationship with him.”
Rick sighed, a long, gasping sigh of relief. “Well, that’s good.”
“What’s good?”
“You don’t have a physically intimate relationship with him.”
“I didn’t say that. What I meant was we have a lot more than purely physical and sexual. We were such close friends; we became attracted to each other’s hearts first and foremost.” She decided to stick it to him because he didn’t have the guts to admit he was more upset with himself for blowing his chances with her, than he was upset over her and Gabe. What galled her even more was he invaded her privacy and acted as if he had a right to do so.
Rick turned to face her, knowing the worst was to come.
“After a while, though, well, I mean, have you ever really looked at Gabriel? He’s gorgeous in every way. Once we first kissed there was no turning back. There’s not a moment I don’t want to touch him, kiss him, be with him. We’re very much in love, in a loving, committed relationship.” She picked up the diamond on her neck and showed it to him. “You see this? He gave me this instead of a ring for Christmas and asked me to marry him—someday—not right away because he wants me to be comfortable, not feel rushed, and to be sure it’s what I want. I love this more than a ring because I love his reasoning behind it. He’s an amazingly intelligent, funny man with a huge heart and a beautiful soul. Yes, we’re best friends but so much more. We’re lovers and, yes, he is my fiancé. I’ll always love Gabriel.”
Rick’s features sagged, his eyes glassed over, and his skin went ashen like a jolt of electricity had passed through him and he was in shock, not knowing if he was dead or alive. He walked back and sat at his desk, cleared his throat, unable to speak. He put his hand over his mouth, closed his eyes while his cheeks burned, and repeatedly knocked his foot against the table leg. He was a ticking bomb about to explode. But he had to admit he had no one to blame for this but himself. Then hopelessness, dejection, and mostly regret filled him. Seeing the diamond necklace and hearing they would marry someday threw him over a cliff into an abyss of heartache. More grief and loss to add to Leah’s. But even the lingering grief over Leah didn’t compare to how he felt now, realizing he’d lost Jade forever.
Jade leaned over and rubbed his forearm with affection in her eyes. “I’m sorry to be so brutally direct, but you asked even though you had no right to. And since I chose to answer, I thought you deserved the entire truth. I guess it’s up to you what you want to do. You can terminate us or…”
Rick jumped up from his chair like the seat was on fire. “No! God, no, I don’t want to fire you, Jade. I… I, I can’t fire you.” He ran his hands over his head, mouth agape, still in shock, and walked around the desk and sat on its edge facing her. His hands gripped the desktop for support. “I can’t fire you Jade.” He stared at her as if seeing all of who she was for the first time. He focused on his feelings for her instead of what he’d lost in Leah, and said in a solemn voice, “I can’t fire you. I can’t live without you. I love you, Jade. I’ve loved you from the start.”
She slumped to the back of her chair, looking away from his pleading eyes knowing her silence and lack of a matching response would break his heart. There was no appropriate reply to his words of love she sensed were a spontaneous reaction. Yet with Rick never having been impulsive with his feelings, she guessed his words might be real. She’d always known he loved her but couldn’t show it, say it or live it. His feelings came to the forefront now with facing the loss of her, with scrambling to get her back. Her heart flip-flopped and skipped a beat for him. She really cared for, respected and loved him as a friend. But Gabe was her mate, her partner, and when she thought about Gabe and his love, Rick’s presence dissolved like a ghost.
Jade hugged him and in their silent exchange, he cried. She squeezed him tight and he did the same, never wanting to let her go. When he calmed, she released him and said, “I do love you as a friend, Rick. I always will. I’ll stay on if you want me to. Gabe wants to keep his job, too. We love what we do. We love the inn and working for you. It’s your decision but I think it’s obvious if you let him go, I have to go with him. We all work well together and that won’t change. You’ve seen how discreet and mature Gabe and I are. I’m sure you’re sick of hearing these words, but once again, the next step is yours.”
When she left his office, Rick left the door open to hear her footsteps heading toward the front door, praying she’d turn back to him. When she didn’t, he put his head in his hands and sobbed until his head pounded. His heart broke as never before with mourning the loss of both Leah and Jade. Twice as much agony, but he tried to let it all out until there was nothing left of him but a shell who couldn’t feel anything—no more pain but no more love either.
As Jade opened the front door to leave, the sounds of Rick’s grieving echoed down the hall. Her heart wrenched with his pain and tears fell for him, but she knew it best to leave him to it, to let him feel what he should’ve a long time ago. He’d have to come out the other side on his own terms just as Gabe had after his life of abuse and cheating wife, and just as Jade had after Devlin. This gave her hope that someday Rick would have the largess of spirit to understand and accept her and Gabe’s relationship and eventually accept him as her husband. She prayed that with time Rick would grow a big heart and fill it with love and gratitude instead of being empty with sorrow and regret.
Chapter 26
Jade and Gabriel talked late into the night Sunday, discussing her confrontation with Rick.
“He won’t fire us.” Jade laced her arm through Gabe’s while they sat on the sofa. “I told him straight out, if he asked you to leave, I’d go, too.”
“You put me in a difficult position. He might feel manipulated by you with saying you’d quit if he fires me.”
“He knows I was simply stating the facts. He deserved the truth before he does something impulsive he’ll regret. I hope he lets the emotional dust fall and reviews the circumstances carefully, especially his own part in determining his fate.”
Gabe pulled Jade closer to him. “We’ll get through this. If I have to find a new job, I will. I hope he’d at least give me a good referral.”
“Naturally, he would. Rick’s a good guy underneath his issues; he’s an honest, fair man. And I would certainly give you a great reference. But let’s not talk focus on alternatives. We’re going to show up at work tomorrow and do our jobs. We don’t need to explain anything to anyone unless Rick asks us to talk to him, but I strongly doubt he will. He’ll probably steer clear of us as much as possible.”
“I’m sure you’re right.” Gabe stood and pulled her up with him. “Come to bed. You’ve had a rough day, let’s get some sleep. Early day tomorrow.”
They slept in each other’s arms, loving their life and dreaming of a great future ahead. They’d talked of marriage next year, of someday buying their own little inn and restaurant someday. Kids someday. Jade’s heart practically burst with joy fantasizing about being his wife and partner, and the full, rich life ahead.
***
But only an hour into Gabe’s morning, those dreams came crashing down. He should have expected and been prepared for this—for the crash, for the bad thing he’d sensed coming weeks ago, for the too-good-to-be-true ending turning out to be just that. For the first time in a long time, the devil on his shoulder came back and told him, ‘You should’ve known you didn’t deserve this—you and Jade building a good life together. You should’ve known the bad would catch up to you because it always does. Now deal with it.’
When Jade checked in with him after the breakfast service, she knew something was wrong as soon as she saw him. His face was pale and full of misery. His eyes were dull, and his mouth set in a grimace. He moved fast and efficiently, as if running from something. She saw his mind working out with a hundred details. But details about what? He was so engrossed in his thoughts and cleaning up after the breakfast rush, he didn’t hear her come in.
“Gabe, what’s wrong with you?”
As if she yanked him out of a trance, he jumped and dropped a glass, smashing it. “See what you made me do? Don’t sneak up on me!”
Jade walked to his side and brought the broom to clean up the glass. He jerked it out of her hand and swept at the floor hard enough to take off the finish.
She yelled. “Gabe! Stop! Drop the damn broom and look at me.”
He did as she asked, his face expressionless as stone.
She put her arms around him. “Come here. Please. Don’t shut me out. Is it me? Did I do something wrong?”
With her warm body and loving heart wrapped around him, he softened some. “No, it’s not you.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
He groaned and let her go, moving back to sweeping up the broken glass. “My life. My whole life is wrong.”
Red flags flew up in Jade’s mind, her thoughts went crazy. “Screw the glass! Get over here and talk to me. What do you mean your life is wrong?”
“It’s blown up and all gone—our plans, my life. Blown up with one phone call. From Texas. My mother.” He sat on a kitchen barstool, slumped over the island with his head in his hands. “My ex-wife became a hard-core drug addict since she moved to California. She called my mother a few days ago asking her to go out there and help with Graciela. But my mom can’t do it at her age and being not in the best health. The ex, the witch, told her all her troubles in a last-ditch effort to get Mama to take care of them and to send money which my mother doesn’t have. Consuela told my mother she owes money to drug dealers and is in trouble with the law.”
Gabe paced to contain his anger. “But worst is my daughter is in danger because of her mother. My mom begged me to go out there—to California and help Gracie. She talked to Consuela’s sister who told her the details. Apparently, Consuela tried three times to get sober, but nothing worked. Her sister has five kids and can’t take my daughter long-term. Plus, she doesn’t want those dealers and druggies coming around her house. I can’t blame her. She says she’s done with Consuela. So, it seems there’s no one to help but me. I don’t care what happens to the witch, but I can’t let her put an innocent four-year-old in danger. I have to save my daughter.” He looked at Jade, his eyes filled with tears. “I have no choice, as usual, in my life. When anything good is about to take hold, it’s like God says ‘Oops, I forgot, you don’t deserve anything good.’”
Jade took him in her arms. “You deserve all good things in life. This is a setback, something unplanned and unexpected. But we’ll get through it and come out the other side to continue on with our lives.”
He took her hands from around him and placed them at her sides. “First, there is no ‘we’ in this scenario. This is my responsibility, not yours.”
“But we’re together in life, we do these things together.”
“I don’t mean to sound cold, but we’re not married. You have no obligation to me.”
Knocked back by his words, she was so bowled over she wanted to pound sense into him. “You asked me to marry you. We’re planning it for next year. Did you lie? I don’t believe so. This is not a question of me being obligated to do this with you, it’s my choice. I love you so much, I’d do anything to help you get you back here to move on with our lives.”
Gabe paced around the island. “I hear your words, but are you dreaming? Me come back here anytime soon? In a white, privileged world, it’s possible. But my world is vastly different. When’s the last time you had to go up against drug dealers or a heroin addict and jail? When’s the last time you had a child whose life was in danger with an addict mother living in a dangerous environment? When did you ever have to work out the legalities of child custody? I have no idea what shape her mother is in, and what I’ll be facing legally. Even if the courts give me temporary custody, I don’t about taking her out of the state. I’ll hire a lawyer out there and find out what my rights are. These are things you have no experience or knowledge of, Jade. But I’ve lived with them all my life—low-life people, violence, drugs, addicts, jails, lawyers. It’s no place for you out there. You’ll only get hurt. Don’t even consider it an option.”
