Complete weird tales of.., p.453
Complete Weird Tales of Robert W Chambers, page 453
For a year or two they found a substitute for happiness in pretending that they were really at college; they simulated, day by day, the life that they supposed was led there; they became devoted to their new game. Excited through tales told by tutor and friend, they developed a passionate loyalty for their college and class; they were solemnly elected to coveted societies, they witnessed Harvard victories, they strove fiercely for honours; their ideals were lofty, their courage clean and high.
So completely absorbed in the pretence did they become that their own tutors ventured to suggest to Mr. Tappan that such fiercely realistic mimicry deserved to be rewarded. Unfortunately, the children heard of this; but the Trust Officer’s short answer killed their interest in playing at happiness, and their junior year began listlessly and continued without ambition. There was no heart in the pretence. Their interest had died. They studied mechanically because they were obliged to; they no longer cared.
That winter they went to a few more parties — not many. However, they were gingerly permitted to witness their first play, and later, the same year, were taken to “Lohengrin” at the opera.
During the play, which was a highly moral one, they sat watching, listening, wide-eyed as children.
At the opera Geraldine’s impetuous soul soared straight up to paradise with the first heavenly strains, and remained there far above the rigid, breathless little body, bolt upright in its golden sarcophagus of the grand tier.
Her physical consciousness really seemed to have fled. Until the end she sat unaware of the throngs, of Scott and Kathleen whispering behind her, of several tall, broad-shouldered, shy young fellows who came into their box between the acts and tried to discuss anything at all with her, only to find her blind, deaf, and dumb.
These were the only memories of her first opera — confused, chaotic brilliancy, paradise revealed: and long, long afterward, the carriage flying up Fifth Avenue through darkness all gray with whirling snow.
Their eighteenth year dragged, beginning in physical and intellectual indifference, but promised stormily as they became more accustomed to glimpses of an outside world — a world teeming with restless young people in unbelievable quantities.
Scott had begun to develop two traits: laziness and a tendency to sullen, unspoken wrath. He took more liberty than was officially granted him — more than Geraldine dared take — and came into collision with Kathleen more often now. He boldly overstayed his leave in visiting his few boy friends for an afternoon; he returned home alone on foot after dusk, telling the chauffeur to go to the devil. Again and again he remained out to dinner without permission, and, finally, one afternoon quietly and stealthily cut his studies, slipped out of the house, and reappeared about dinner-time, excited, inclined to be boisterously defiant, admitting that he had borrowed enough money from a friend to go to a matinée with some other boys, and that he would do it again if he chose.
Also, to Kathleen’s horror, he swore deliberately at table when Mr. Tappan’s name was mentioned; and Geraldine looked up with startled brown eyes, divining in her brother something new — something that unconsciously they both had long, long waited for — the revolt of youth ere youth had been crushed for ever from the body which encased it.
“Damn him,” repeated Scott, a little frightened at his own words and attitude; “I’ve had enough of this baby business; I’m eighteen and I want two things: some friends to go about with freely, and some money to do what other boys do. And you can tell Mr. Tappan, for all I care.”
“What would you buy with money that is not already provided for, Scott?” asked Kathleen, gently ignoring his excited profanity.
“I don’t know; there is no pleasure in using things which that fool of a Trust Company votes to let you have. Anyway, what I want is liberty and money.”
“What would you do with what you call liberty, dear?”
“Do? I’d — I’d — well, I’d go shooting if I wanted to. I’d buy a gun and go off somewhere after ducks.”
“But your father’s old club on the Chesapeake is open to you. Shall I ask Mr. Tappan?”
“Oh, yes: I know,” he sneered, “and Mr. Tappan would send some chump of a tutor there to teach me. I don’t want to be taught how to hit ducks. I want to find out for myself. I don’t care for that sort of thing,” he repeated savagely; “I just ache to go off somewhere with a boy of my own age where there’s no club and no preserve and no tutor; and where I can knock about and get whatever there is to get without anybody’s help.”
Geraldine said: “You have more liberty now than I have, Scott. What are you howling for?”
“The only real liberty I have I take! Anyway, you have enough for a girl of your age. And you’d better shut up.”
“I won’t shut up,” she retorted irritably. “I want liberty as much as you do. If I had any, I’d go to every play and opera in New York. And I’d go about with my friends and I’d have gowns fitted, and I’d have tea at Sherry’s, and I’d shop and go to matinees and to the Exchange, and I’d be elected a member of the Commonwealth Club and play basket-ball there, and swim, and lunch and — and then have another fitting — —”
“Is that what you’d do with your liberty?” he sneered. “Well, I don’t wonder old Tappan doesn’t give you any money.”
“I do need money and decent gowns. I’m sick of the frumpy prunes-and-prisms frocks that Kathleen makes me wear — —”
Kathleen’s troubled laugh interrupted her:
“Dearest, I do the best I can on the allowance made you by Mr. Tappan. His ideas on modern feminine apparel are perhaps not yours or mine.”
“I should say not!” returned Geraldine angrily. “There isn’t a girl of my age who dresses as horridly as I do. I tell you, Mr. Tappan has got to let me have money enough to dress decently. If he doesn’t, I — I’ll begin to give him as much trouble as Scott does — more, too!”
She set her teeth and stared at her glass of water.
“What about my coming-out gown?” she asked.
“I have written him about your début,” said Kathleen soothingly.
“Oh! What did the old beast say?”
“He writes,” began Kathleen pleasantly, “that he considers eighteen an unsuitable age for a young girl to make her bow to New York society.”
“Did he say that?” exclaimed Geraldine, furious. “Very well; I shall write to Colonel Mallett and tell him I simply will not endure it any longer. I’ve had enough education; I’m suffocated with it! Besides, I dislike it. I want a dinner-gown and a ball-gown and my hair waved and dressed on top of my head instead of bunched half way! I want to have an engagement pad — I want to have places to go to — people expecting me; I want silk stockings and pretty underclothes! Doesn’t that old fool understand what a girl wants and needs?”
She half rose from her seat at the table, pushing away the fruit which a servant offered; and, laying her hands flat on the cloth, leaned forward, eyes flashing ominously.
“I’m getting tired of this,” she said. “If it goes on, I’ll probably run away.”
“So will I,” said Scott, “but I’ve good reasons. They haven’t done anything to you. You’re making a terrible row about nothing.”
“Yes, they have! They’ve suppressed me, stifled me, bottled me up, tinkered at me, overgroomed me, dressed me ridiculously, and stuffed my mind. And I’m starved all the time! O Kathleen, I’m hungry! hungry! Can’t you understand?
“They’ve made me into something I was not. I’ve never yet had a chance to be myself. Why couldn’t they let me be it? I know — I know that when at last they set me free because they have to — I — I’ll act like a fool; I’ll not know what to do with my liberty — I’ll not know how to use it — how to understand or be understood.... Tell Mr. Tappan that! Tell him that it is all silly and wrong! Tell him that a young girl never forgets when other girls laugh at her because she never had any money, and dresses like a frump, and wears her hair like a baby!... And if he doesn’t listen to us, some day Scott and I will show him and the others how we feel about it! I can make as much trouble as Scott can; I’ll do it, too — —”
“Geraldine!”
“Very well. I’m boiling inside when I think of — some things. The injustice of a lot of hateful, snuffy old men deciding on what sort of underclothes a young girl shall wear!... And I will make my début! I will! I will!”
“Dearest — —”
“Yes, I will! I’ll write to them and complain of Mr. Tappan’s stingy, unjust treatment of us both — —”
“Let me do the writing, dear,” said Kathleen quietly. And she rose from the table and left the dining-room, both arms around the necks of the Seagrave twins, drawing them close to her sides — closer when her sidelong glance caught the sullen bitterness on the darkening features of the boy, and when on the girl’s fair face she saw the flushed, wide-eyed, questioning stare.
When the young, seeking reasons, gaze questioningly at nothing, it is well to divine and find the truthful answer, lest their other selves, evoked, stir in darkness, counselling folly.
The answer to such questions Kathleen knew; who should know better than she? But it was not for her to reply. All she could do was to summon out of the vasty deep the powers that ruled her wards and herself; and these, convoked in solemn assembly because of conflict with their Trust Officer, might decide in becoming gravity such questions as what shall be the proper quality and cost of a young girl’s corsets; and whether or not real lace and silk are necessary for attire more intimate still.
During the next two years the steadily increasing friction between Remsen Tappan and his wards began seriously to disturb the directors of the Half Moon Trust. That worthy old line company viewed with uneasiness the revolutionary tendencies of the Seagrave twins as expressed in periodical and passionate letters to Colonel Mallett. The increasing frequency of these appeals for justice and for intervention fore-shadowed the desirability of a conference. Besides, there was a graver matter to consider, which implicated Scott.
When Kathleen wrote, suggesting a down-town conference to decide delicate questions concerning Geraldine’s undergarments and Scott’s new gun, Colonel Mallett found it more convenient to appoint the Seagrave house as rendezvous.
And so it came to pass one pleasant Saturday afternoon in late October that, in twos and threes, a number of solemn old gentlemen, faultlessly attired, entered the red drawing-room of the Seagrave house and seated themselves in an impressive semicircle upon the damask chairs.
They were Colonel Stuart Mallett, president of the institution, just returned from Paris with his entire family; Calvin McDermott, Joshua Hogg, Carl Gumble, Friedrich Gumble; the two vice-presidents, James Cray and Daniel Montross; Myndert Beekman, treasurer; Augustus Varick, secretary; the Hon. John D. Ellis; Magnelius Grandcourt 2d, and Remsen Tappan, Trust Officer.
If the pillars of the house of Seagrave had been founded upon millions, the damask and rosewood chairs in the red drawing-room now groaned under the weight of millions. Power, authority, respectability, and legitimate affluence sat there majestically enthroned in the mansion of the late Anthony Seagrave, awaiting in serious tribunal the appearance of the last of that old New York family.
Mrs. Severn came in first; the directors rose as one man, urbane, sprightly, and gallant. She was exceedingly pretty; they recognised it. They could afford to.
Compositely they were a smooth, soft-stepping, soft-voiced, company. An exception or two, like Mr. Tappan, merely accented the composite impression of rosy-cheeked, neatly shaven, carefully dressed prosperity. They all were cautious of voice, moderate of speech, chary of gesture. There was always an impressive pause before a director of the Half Moon Trust answered even the most harmless question addressed to him. Some among them made it a conservative rule to swallow nothing several times before speaking at all. It was a safe habit to acquire. Aut prudens aut nullus.
Geraldine’s starched skirts rustled on the stairway. When she came into the room the directors of the Half Moon Trust were slightly astonished. During the youth of the twins, the wives of several gentlemen present had called at intervals to inspect the growth of Anthony Seagrave’s grandchildren, particularly those worthy and acquisitive ladies who had children themselves. The far-sighted reap rewards. Some day these baby twins would be old enough to marry. It was prudent to remember such details. A position as an old family friend might one day prove of thrifty advantage in this miserably mercenary world where dog eats dog, and dividends are sometimes passed. God knows and pities the sorrows of the rich.
Geraldine, her slim hand in Colonel Mallett’s, courtesied with old-time quaintness, then her lifted eyes swept the rosy, rotund countenances before her. To each she courtesied and spoke, offering the questioning hand of amity.
The thing that seemed to surprise them was that she had grown since they had seen her. Time flies when hunting safe investments. The manners she retained, like her fashion of wearing her hair, and the cut and length of her apparel were clearly too childish to suit the tall, slender, prettily rounded figure — the mature oval of the face, the delicately firm modelling of the features.
This was no child before them; here stood adorable adolescence, a hint of the awakening in the velvet-brown eyes which were long and slightly slanting at the corners; hints, too, in the vivid lips, in the finer outline of the profile, in faint bluish shadows under the eyes, edging the curved cheeks’ bloom.
They had not seen her in two years or more, and she had grown up. They had merely stepped down-town for a hasty two years’ glance at the market, and, behind their backs, the child had turned into a woman.
Hitherto they had addressed her as “Geraldine” and “child,” when a rare interview had been considered necessary. Now, two years later, unconsciously, it was “Miss Seagrave,” and considerable embarrassment when the subject of intimate attire could no longer be avoided.
But Geraldine, unconscious of such things, broached the question with all the directness characteristic of her.
“I am sorry I was rude in my last letter,” she said gravely, turning to Mr. Tappan. “Will you please forgive me?... I am glad you came. I do not think you understand that I am no longer a little girl, and that things necessary for a woman are necessary for me. I want a quarterly allowance. I need what a young woman needs. Will you give these things to me, Mr. Tappan?”
Mr. Tappan’s dry lips cracked apart; he swallowed grimly several times, then his long bony fingers sought the meagre ends of his black string tie:
“In the cultiwation of the indiwidool,” he began harshly, and checked himself, when Geraldine flushed to her ear tips and stamped her foot. Self-control had gone at last.
“I won’t listen to that!” she said, breathless; “I’ve listened to it for ten years — as long as I can remember. Answer me honestly, Mr. Tappan! Can I have what other women have — silk underwear and stockings — real lace on my night dresses — and plenty of it? Can I have suitable gowns and furs, and have my hair dressed properly? I want you to answer; can I make my début this winter and have the gowns I require — and the liberty that girls of my age have?” She turned on Colonel Mallett: “The liberty that Naïda has had is all I want; the sort of things you let her have all I ask for.” And appealing to Magnelius Grandcourt, who stood pursing his thick lips, puffed out like a surprised pouter pigeon: “Your daughter Catherine has more than I ask; why do you let her have what you consider bad for me? Why?”
Mr. Grandcourt swallowed several times, and spoke in an undertone to Joshua Hogg. But he did not reply to Geraldine.
Remsen Tappan turned his iron visage toward Colonel Mallett — ignoring Geraldine’s questions.
“In the cultiwation of the indiwidool,” he began again dauntlessly ——
“Isn’t there anybody to answer me?” asked Geraldine, turning from one to another.
“Concerning the cultiwation — —”
“Answer me!” she flashed back. There were tears in her voice, but her eyes blazed.
“Miss Seagrave,” interposed old Mr. Montross gravely, “I beg of you to remember — —”
“Let him answer me first! I asked him a perfectly plain question. It — it is silly to ignore me as though I were a foolish child — as though I didn’t know my mind.”
“I think, Mr. Tappan, perhaps if you could give Miss Seagrave a qualified answer to her questions — make some preliminary statement—” began Mr. Cray cautiously.
“Concerning what?” snapped Tappan with a grim stare.
“Concerning my stockings and my underwear,” said Geraldine fiercely. “I’m tired of dressing like a servant!”
Mr. Tappan’s rugged jaw opened and shut with another snap.
“I’m opposed to any such innowation,” he said.
“And — my coming out this winter? And my quarterly allowance? Answer me!”
“Time enough when you turn twenty-one, Miss Seagrave. Cultiwation of mind concerns you now, not cultiwation of raiment.”
“That — that—” stammered Geraldine, “is s-su-premely s-silly.” The tears reached her eyes; she brushed them away angrily.
Mallett coughed and glanced at Myndert Beekman, then past the secretary, Mr. Varick, directly at Mr. Tappan.
“If you could see your way to — ah — accede to some — a number — perhaps, in a measure, to all of Miss Seagrave’s not unreasonable requests, Mr. Tappan — —”
“‘Can I have what other women have — silk underwear and stockings?’”
He hesitated, looked dubiously at Mr. Montross, who nodded. Mr. Cray, also, made an almost imperceptible sign of concurrence. Magnelius Grandcourt, the sixty-year enfant terrible of the company, dreaded for his impulsive outbursts — though the effect of these outbursts was always very carefully considered before-hand — stepped jauntily across the floor, and lifting Geraldine’s hand to his rather purplish lips, saluted it with a flourish.
“Oh, I say, Tappan, let Miss Seagrave have what she wants!” he exclaimed with a hearty disregard of caution, which outwardly disturbed but inwardly deceived nobody except Geraldine and Mrs. Severn.
