Complete weird tales of.., p.457
Complete Weird Tales of Robert W Chambers, page 457
“Good-night!” — offering her hand with decision.
Dysart began: “But I had expected — —”
“Good-night!”
Dysart stared, took the offered hand, hesitated, started to speak, thought better of it, made a characteristically graceful obeisance, and an excellent exit, all things considered.
Geraldine drew a deep breath, moved forward through the flower-set dimness a step or two, halted, and, as Mallett came up, passed her arm through his.
“Duane,” she said, “the champagne has gone to my head.”
“Nonsense!”
“It has! My cheeks are queer — the skin fits too tight. My legs don’t belong to me — but they’ll do.”
She laughed and turned toward him; her feverish breath touched his cheek.
“My first dinner! Isn’t it disgraceful? But how could I know?”
“You mustn’t let it scare you.”
“It doesn’t. I don’t care. I knew something would go wrong. I — the truth is, that I don’t know how to act — how to accept my liberty. I don’t know how to use it. I’m a perfect fool.... Do you think Kathleen will notice this? Isn’t it terrible! She never dreamed I would touch any wine. Do I look — queer?”
“No. It isn’t so, anyway — and you’ll simply lean on me — —”
“Oh, my knees are perfectly steady. It’s only that they don’t seem to belong to me. I’m — I’m excited — I’ve laughed too much — more than I have ever laughed in all the years of my life put together. You don’t know what I mean, do you, Duane? But it’s true; I’ve talked to-night more than I ever have in any one week.... And it’s gone to my head — all this — all these people who laugh with me over nothing — follow me, tell me I am pretty, ask me for dances, favours, beg me for a word with them — as though I would need asking or urging! — as though my impulse is not to open my heart to every one of them — open my arms to them — thank them on my knees for being here — for being nice to me — all these boys who make little circles around me — so funny, so quaint in their formality — —”
She pressed his arm tighter.
“Let me rattle on — let me babble, Duane. I’ve years of silence to make up for. Let me talk like a fool; you know I’m not one.... Oh, the happiness of this one night! — the happiness of it! I never shall have enough dancing, never enough of pleasure.... I — I’m perfectly mad over pleasure; I like men.... I suppose the champagne makes me frank about it — but I don’t care — I do like men — —”
“That one?” demanded Mallett, halting her on the edge of the palms which screened the conservatory doors.
“You mean Mr. Dysart? Yes — I — do like him.”
“Well, he’s married, and you’d better not,” he snapped.
“C-can’t I like him?” in piteous astonishment which set the colour flying into his face.
“Why, yes — of course — I didn’t mean — —”
“What did you mean? Isn’t it — shouldn’t he be — —”
“Oh, it’s all right, Geraldine. Only he’s a sort of a pig to keep you away from — others — —”
“Other — pigs?”
He turned sharply, seized her, and forcibly turned her toward the light. She made no effort to control her laughter, excusing it between breaths:
“I didn’t mean to turn what you said into ridicule; it came out before I meant it.... Do let me laugh a little, Duane. I simply cannot care about anything serious for a while — I want to be frivolous — —”
“Don’t laugh so loud,” he whispered.
She released his arm and sank down on a marble seat behind the flowering oleanders.
“Why are you so disagreeable?” she pouted. “I know I’m a perfect fool, and the champagne has gone to my silly head — and you’ll never catch me this way again.... Don’t scowl at me. Why don’t you act like other men? Don’t you know how?”
“Know how?” he repeated, looking down into the adorably flushed face uplifted. “Know how to do what?”
“To flirt. I don’t. Everybody has tried to teach me to-night — everybody except you ... Duane.... I’m ready to go home; I’ll go. Only my head is whirling so — Tell me — are you glad to see me again?... Really?... And you don’t mind my folly? And my tormenting you?... And my — my turning your head a little?”
“You’ve done that,” he said, forcing a laugh.
“Have I?... I knew it.... You see, I am horridly truthful to-night. In vino veritas! ... Tell me — did I, all by myself, turn that too-experienced head of yours?”
“You’re doing it now,” he said.
She laughed deliciously. “Now? Am I? Yes, I know I am. I’ve made a lot of men think hard to-night.... I didn’t know I could; I never before thought of it.... And — even you, too?... You’re not very serious, are you?”
“Yes, I am. I tell you, Geraldine, I’m about as much in love with you as — —”
“In love!”
“Yes — —”
“No!”
“Yes, I am — —”
But she would not have it put so crudely.
“You dear boy,” she said, “we’ll both be quite sane to-morrow.... No, I don’t mind your kissing my hand — I’m dreadfully tired, anyway.... We’ll find Kathleen, shall we? My head doesn’t buzz much.”
“Geraldine,” he said, deliberately encircling her waist, “you are only the same small girl I used to know, after all.”
“‘Duane!’ she gasped— ‘why did you?’”
“Y-yes, I’m afraid so.”
“And you’re not really old enough to really care for anybody, are you?”
“Care?”
“Love.”
“No, I’m not. Don’t talk to me that way, Duane.”
He drew her suddenly into his arms and kissed her on the cheek twice, and again on the mouth, as, crimson, breathless, she strained away from him.
“Duane!” she gasped— “why did you?” Then the throbbing of her body and crushed lips made her furious. “Why did you do that?” she cried fiercely — but her voice ended in a dry sob; she covered her head and face with bare arms; her hands tightened convulsively and clenched.
“Oh,” she said, “how could you! — when I came to you — feeling — afraid of myself! I know you now. You are what they say you are.”
“What do they say I am?” he stammered.
“Horrid — I don’t know — wild! — whatever that implies.... I didn’t care — I didn’t care even to understand, because I thought you generous and nice to me — and I was so confident of you that I came with you and told you I had had some champagne which made my head swim.... And you — did this! It — it was contemptible.”
He bit his lip, but said nothing.
“Why did you do it?” she demanded, dropping her arms from her face and staring at him. “Is that the sort of thing you did abroad?”
“Can’t you see I’m in love with you?” he said.
“Oh! Is that love? Then keep it for your models and — and Bohemian grisettes! A decent man couldn’t have done such a thing to me. I — I loathe myself for being silly and weak enough to have touched that wine, but I have more contempt for you than I have for myself. What you did was cowardly!”
Much of the colour had fled from her face; her eyes, bluish underneath the lower lids, turned wearily, helplessly in search of Kathleen.
“I knew I was unfit for liberty,” she said, half to herself. “What an ending to my first pleasure!”
“For Heaven’s sake, Geraldine,” he broke out, “don’t take an accident so tragically — —”
“I want Kathleen. Do you hear?”
“Very well; I’ll find her.... And, whatever you say or think, I am in love with you,” he added fiercely.
His voice, his words, were meaningless; she was conscious only of the heavy pulse in throat and temple, of the desire for her room and darkness. Lights, music, the scent of dying flowers, laughter, men, all had become abhorrent. Something within her lay bruised and stunned; and, as never before, the vast and terrible phantom of her loneliness rose like a nightmare to menace her.
Later Kathleen came and took her away.
* * *
CHAPTER IV. THE YEAR OF DISCRETION
HER FIRST WINTER resembled, more or less, the first winter of the average débutante.
Under the roof of the metropolitan social temple there was a niche into which her forefathers had fitted. Within the confines of this she expected, and was expected, to live and move and have her being, and ultimately wing upward to her God, leaving the consecrated cubby-hole reserved for her descendants.
She did what her sister débutantes did, and some things they did not do, was asked where they were asked, decorated the same tier of boxes at the opera, appeared in the same short-skirted entertainments of the Junior League, saw what they saw, was seen where they were seen, chattered, danced, and flirted with the same youths, was smitten by the popular “dancing” man, convalesced in average time, smoked her first cigarette, fell a victim to the handsome and horrid married destroyer, recovered with a shock when, as usual, he overdid it, played at being engaged, was kissed once or twice, adored Sembrich, listened ignorantly but with intuitive shudders to her first scandals, sent flowers to Ethel Barrymore, kept Lent with the pure fervour of a conscience troubled and untainted, drove four in the coaching parade, and lunched afterward at the Commonwealth Club, where her name was subsequently put up for election.
Spectacular charities lured her from the Plaza to Sherry’s, from Sherry’s to the St. Regis; church work beguiled her; women’s suffrage, led daintily in a series of circles by Fashion and Wealth, enlisted her passive patronage. She even tried the slums, but the perfume was too much for her.
All the small talk and epigrams of the various petty impinging circles under the social dome passed into and out of her small ears — gossip, epigrams, aphorisms, rumours, apropos surmises, asides, and off-stage observations, subtle with double entendre, harmless and otherwise.
She met people of fashion, of wealth, and both; and now and then encountered one or two of those men and women of real distinction whose names and peregrinations are seldom chronicled in the papers.
She heard the great artists of the two operas sing in private; was regaled with information concerning the remarkable decency or indecency of their private careers. She saw fashionable plays which instructed the public about squalor, murder, and men’s mistresses, which dissected very skilfully and artistically the ethics of moral degradation. And being as healthy and curious as the average girl, she found in the theatres material with which to inform herself about certain occult mysteries concerning which, heretofore, she had been left mercifully in doubt.
In spite of Kathleen, it was inevitable that she should acquire from the fashionable in literature, music, and the drama, that sorry and unnecessary wisdom which ages souls.
And if what she saw or heard ever puzzled her, there was always somebody, young or old, to enlighten her innocent perplexity; and with each illumination she shrank a little less aloof from this shabby wisdom gilded with “art,” which she could not choose but accept as fact, but the depravity of which she never was entirely able to comprehend.
In March the Seagrave twins arrived at the alleged age of discretion. On their twenty-first birthday the Half Moon Trust Company went solemnly into court and rendered an accounting of its stewardship; the yearly reports which it had made during the term of its trusteeship were brought forward, examined by the court, and the great Half Moon Trust Company was given an honourable discharge. It had done its duty. The twins were masters of their financial and moral fate.
It was about that moribund period of the social solstice when the fag end of the season had fizzled out like a wet firecracker in the April rains; and Geraldine and Kathleen were tired, mentally and bodily. And Scott was buying polo ponies from a British friend and shotguns from a needy gentleman from Long Island.
It had been rather trying work to rid Geraldine of the aspirants for her fortune; during the winter she was proposed to under almost every conceivable condition and circumstance. Kathleen had been bored and badgered and bothered and importuned to the verge of exhaustion; Scott was used, shamelessly, without his suspecting it, and he generally had in tow a string of financially spavined aspirants who linked arms with him from club to club, from theatre to opera, from grille to grille, until he was pleasantly bewildered at his own popularity.
Geraldine was surprised, confused, shamed, irritated in turn with every new importunity. But she remained sensible enough to be quite frank and truthful with Kathleen, except for an exciting secret engagement with Bunbury Gray which lasted for two weeks. And Kathleen was given strength sufficient for each case as it presented itself; and now the fag end of the season died out; the last noble and indigent foreigner had been eluded; the last old beau foiled; the last squab-headed dancing man successfully circumvented. And now the gallinaceous half of the world was leaving town in noisy and glittering migration, headed for temporary roosts all over the globe, from Newport to Nova Scotia, from Kineo to Kara Dagh.
Country houses were opening throughout the Western Hemisphere; Long Island stirred from its long winter lethargy, stung into active life by the Oyster Bay mosquito; town houses closed; terrace, pillar, portico, and windows were already being boarded over; lace curtains came down; textiles went to the cleaners; the fresh scent of camphor and lavender lingered in the mellow half-light of rooms where furniture and pictures loomed linen-shrouded and the polished floor echoed every footstep.
In the sunny gloom of the Seagrave house Geraldine found a grateful retreat from the inspiring glare and confused racket of her first winter; ample time for rest, reverie, and reflection, with only a few intimates to break her meditations, only informality to reckon with, and plenty of leisure to plan for the summer.
Around the house, trees and rhododendrons were now in freshest bloom, flower-beds fragrant, grass tenderly emerald. The moving shadows of maple leaves patterned the white walls of her bedroom; wind-blown gusts of wistaria fragrance, from the long, grapelike, violet-tinted bunches swaying outside the window, puffed out her curtains every morning.
At night subtler perfumes stole upward from the dark garden; the roar of traffic from the avenues was softened; carriage lights in the purpling dusk of the Park moved like firebugs drifting through level wooded vistas. Across the reservoir lakes the jewelled night-zone of the West Side sparkled, reflected across the water in points of trembling flame; south, a gemmed bar of topaz light, upright against the sky, marked the Plaza; beyond, sprinkled into space like constellations dusting endless depths, the lights of the city receded far as the eye could see.
In the zenith the sky is always tinted with the strange, sinister night-glow of the metropolis, red as fire-licked smoke when fog from the bay settles, pallid as the very shadow of light when nights are clear; but it is always there — always will be there after the sun goes down into the western seas, and the eyes of the monstrous iron city burn on through the centuries.
One morning late in April Geraldine Seagrave rode up under the porte-cochère with her groom, dismounted, patted her horse sympathetically, and regarded with concern the limping animal as the groom led him away to the stables. Then she went upstairs.
To Kathleen, who was preparing to go out, she said:
“I had scarcely entered the Park, my dear, when poor Bibi pulled up lame. No, I told Redmond not to saddle another; I suppose Duane will be furious. Where are you going?”
“I don’t know. Shall I wait for you? I’ve ordered a victoria.”
“No, thanks. You look so pretty this morning, Kathleen. Sometimes you appear younger than I do. Scott was pig enough to say so the other day when I had a headache. It’s true enough, too,” she added, smiling.
Kathleen Severn laughed; she looked scarcely more than twenty-five and she knew it.
“You pretty thing!” exclaimed Geraldine, kissing her, “no wonder you attract the really interesting men and leave me the dreadful fledglings! It’s bad of you; and I don’t see why I’m stupid enough to have such an attractive woman for my closest” — a kiss— “dearest friend! Even Duane is villain enough to tell me that he finds you overwhelmingly attractive. Did you know it?”
Geraldine’s careless gaiety seemed spontaneous enough; yet there was the slightest constraint in Kathleen’s responsive smile:
“Duane isn’t to be taken seriously,” she said.
“Not by any means,” nodded Geraldine, twirling her crop.
“I’m glad you understand him,” observed Kathleen, gazing at the point of her sunshade. She looked up presently and met Geraldine’s dark gaze. Again there came that almost imperceptible hesitation; then:
“I certainly do understand Duane Mallett,” said Geraldine carelessly.
“Shall I wait for you?” asked Kathleen. “We can lunch out together and drive in the Park later.”
“I’m too lazy even to take off my boots and habit. Where’s that volume of Mendez you thought fit to hide from me, you wretch?”
“Why on earth did you buy it?”
“I bought it because Rosalie Dysart says Mendez is a great modern master of prose — —”
“And Rosalie is a great modern mistress of pose. Don’t read Mendez.”
“Isn’t it necessary for a girl to read — —”
“No, it isn’t!”
“I don’t want to be ignorant. Besides, I’m — curious to know — —”
“Be decently curious, dearest. There’s a danger mark; don’t cross it.”
“I don’t wish to.”
She stretched out her arms, crop in hand, doubled them back, and head tipped on one side, yawned shamelessly at her own laziness.
“Scott is becoming very restless,” she said.
“About going away?”
“Yes. I really do think, Kathleen, that we ought to have some respectable country place to go to. It would be nice for Scott and the servants and the horses; and you and I need not stay there if it bores us — —”
